Sunrises and Pie
Evelynn leaned a little bit farther towards the edge. Let her hands relax their grip on the railing as gravity pulls at her with an outstretched hand.
She was at the Golden Gate Bridge. The place is famous for what she was about to do. She was only 15 , yet her mind was a dangerous place
Her thoughts raced as she leaned a little further. Would she be forgotten? What would happen after she so selfishly took her own life and rid herself of the blistering pai. She knew it was selfish. People had told her before. Her own therapist had told her so. "Suicide is a selfish and reckless thing to do, and you don't seem selfish or reckless."
Oh if her therapist could see her now
Evelynn thought of what would happen at home. Would her place at the table be set for dinner every night? Would her sister swoop in and take Evelynn's room, finally getting a bedroom to herself as she had always wanted? Or would her room be left the way it was. With her bed unmade, and her book on the floor where she had dropped it?
What about the sketchbooks she had worked so hard to fill? Or the projects she had spent hours completing? What about her savings, kept in a jar on her bookshelf?
She clenched her teeth and closed her eyes tightly to rid her mind of all the "what abouts" and took a breath and-
"Hey there!" A voice called from her right, causing her to open her eyes in surprise.
"I'm Sam, and that's my brother Dean."
She took in both men. They were close. Close enough that she was surprised she hadn't noticed them beforehand. They were both tall, and muscular. Sam was big enough that she suspected he could pick her up without a problem, making her wrap her hands even tighter around the metal rail, not wanting him to swoop in and drag her from the edge.
"What's your name?" Dean asked, his voice rougher than Sam's along with more panicked.
She took a shaky breath, "Evelynn."
"Evelynn, huh? I like that name. Now tell me, Evelynn, how old are you?"
"Really? That's young compared to us old geezers."
She smiled slightly, but stopped as they both took a few steps closer.
"Please don't. She whispered
"Don't what, Evelynn?" Sam asked, his voice quiet and calm. Evelynn liked his voice, it seemed to soothe some of the inner turmoil
"Don't come closer. Don't try and tell me not to do this."
Well if we can't tell you 'please don't' then could we join you?"
"Sure, I bet the view's great from right there. Look at the view for a minute. Look at the way the moon shines on the water. In just a few hours, the sun'll come up right over there and give you the most amazing sunrise you've ever seen. The golds and pinks will just light up the sky. Wonderful things these sunrises are. Sure wish you could see it."
Evelynn looked at the sky, then to the water below her. She slid her back down the outside of the guard rail and sat with her feet hanging off the edge.
"Yup," Dean started, "And then the day will start. People will head off to work, off to school. This place will be full of cars, and down there," He was leaning on the railing now. His arms crossed and rested on the safety bar. "Down there will be full of ships. Big honkin' ships that take up the whole harbor.
"My favorite thing to do on those busy mornings is to get some pie. Apple, cherry, I don't care. Just some warm pie to start off the new day on the right foot. The shop I like opens in just about an hour, right when they open is the best time. Then the pie is fresh out of the oven, it melts in your mouth." He paused for a second, "At least, if it doesn't completely melt your mouth first." He smiled, "Always have to make sure you let it cool at least a little. Even though it burns sometimes, it's worth getting up early. Trust me."
"What's some of your favorite things, Evelynn?" Sam asked.
She thought for a munte. Deciding what her favorite things were.
"Music," She answered finally. "When you're the only one up in the morning and your playlist gives you the perfect song. It's the best thing. The calm before the storm. Makes everything seem okay for a bit."
She stopped her talking as she realized that both men had climbed over the railing and were sitting with her now. Dean was even kicking his legs a little.
"Mhm, music really does jut make everything better," He said
She relaxed slightly, and together they sat there, talking about things that made them happy. The brightest part of their days.
Before she knew it, the sun was rising, lighting up the sky and the water just like Sam had said it would.
"Would you look at that," Dean murmured, "Sammy was right. That really is amazing.
Evelynn nodded numbly, and Sam leaned close to her
"How about we leave? Dean says his pie place isn't too far. We could probably even walk there."
Evelynn didn't know if she nodded or not, but she was soon being gently and carefully picked up. Dean on one side, Sam on the other. She stiffened, but they continued nonetheless until she was safely on the other side of the guard rail.
Then it hit her.
She had almost killed herself.
She crumpled into Sam and he quickly sat on the ground with her limp body tucked safely in his arms.
She sobbed hard enough that her breathing turned to short gasps and her shoulders shook uncontrollably. She sobbed until there were no more tears to cry and she was left with hiccups that made her chest and throat hurt. Sam's shoulder was soaked and she would have felt mortified if Sam hadn't silence her with another hug
They sat there for what felt like a long time. Long enough that people were walking on the sidewalk, giving the three of them strange looks looks, but Sam and Dean didn't seem to care, so Evelynn decided it was fine.
She eventually pulled away from where she had started to doze on Sam's shoulder, and as she slowly worked on getting her legs to cooperate, Dean quickly stood to help her up.
"Can we take you home?" He asked, pulling her to her feet and quickly looking her up and down, clearly checking for any sort of injury.
She nodded, "Yes please, thank you. Thank you both for.. You know.. Everything. But first, can we stop for the pie?"
Sam and Dean shared looks, before Dean offered her his hand.
"Sure Evelynn, if it'll make you happy."
She gently clasped his hand and allowed Dean to pull her along the streets, with Sam walking just a step behind.
As they were eating their pies, Sam looked at Evelynn.
I'm glad you got to see the sunrise"
"Me too, Sam. Me too."
A/N: Thank you so much for reading! Reviews are both welcome, and greatly appreciated. This week is National Suicide Prevention Week here in the U.S. and as someone who has struggled with suicidal thoughts and intentions since they were (roughly) 12 years old, it means a lot when I see awareness being raised. I've posted this story as a reminder that you are not alone. If you are contemplating suicide, remember that there are people out there who want to help you. Please consider calling or texting a suicide hotline. Please always keep fighting, the world wouldn't be the same without you
Much love to each and every one of you,