So I was going to update Endgame tonight... but I wrote this instead as a birthday gift to myself. I don't know when Mika's birthday is, so I'm giving him mine. Happy September 9th, babe.

All you need to know is this is established Mika/Kurda, with allusions to established Paris/Seba. Part of the Dirty Chai AU (This Is Us / Call It What You Want / Endgame) but can stand alone. If you've been following Dirty Chai, this would take place between Call It and Endgame. Back when they were happy.

Plot is minimal. Fluff is plentiful. This one won't make you cry, guys. Enjoy. Y'all deserve a break lmfao.

Most vampires don't have much interest in calendars, schedules, or anniversaries of any sort - including birthdays. Once you've been alive a century or two, you sort of just get over it.

We already know Kurda Smahlt isn't like other vampires. He owns multiple calendars and he always knows what day it is. Which doesn't sound that impressive unless you consider the fact that half the clan doesn't even know what year it is.

He didn't mean to find out when Mika's birthday was. Kurda was in Vampire Mountain's sorry excuse for a library to track down the results of a vampaneze bylaw vote that took place amongst the Princes and Generals over 500 years ago. He needed it to help prove a point he was planning on making at an upcoming meeting.

The library was a clusterfuck of the highest order. Kurda spent hours digging through crates of scrolls and parchment with no luck. Eventually he spied a box that was labelled "Official Prince Status Records: Year 1500 - Current". Paris was a fan of record keeping. Perhaps there'd be records of which Princes voted on which issues in which year. Maybe something in there could help Kurda narrow down his search.

The crate was full of alphabetized files. Each one contained a full record of every Vampire Prince since 1500. Names, birth dates, Generalship dates, investiture dates, Trials of Initiation results, weaponry test scores, major accomplishments, et cetera. Since it was sorted by letter, Arrow's file was one of the first ones Kurda found and he snorted in amusement. Arrow was the most recently invested Prince and his record was essentially blank other than his signature scrawled over the top. There was a footnote in the corner in Paris's handwriting that said "Reminder - make Arrow fill this out". Clearly Arrow thought signing his name was all the work required of him, and had pushed the paper back into the box without a second thought. Typical.

Kurda kept flipping through diligently, he was pretty sure he was looking for a file for a Prince called Wexley Pendragon. But before he got to the Ws, a much more familiar name jumped out at him. He smiled slightly as he pulled the file labelled Mika Ver Leth. There was his neat signature at the top, and the rest of the file had been completed in its entirety. Kurda skimmed over it, wondering if he could learn anything new about his significant other (four months in and going strong!) but something on the left corner pulled his attention.

Date Of Birth: September 9th, 1739.

Kurda's heart rate ascended into the stratosphere.

Today was September 8th.

Tomorrow was Mika's birthday. This was the first Kurda was hearing of it, and a bit of quick math revealed he was going to be 270.

He jammed Mika's file back into the crate and shot out of the room. His quest for old information would have to wait. The new fact he'd just learned was much more intriguing.

So, what kind of gift do you give the Vampire Prince who has literally everything?

Kurda locked himself in his old cell - not the one he now shared with Mika - where he dusted off his desk and sat down to make a list.

Things Mika Likes:

Swords

Whiskey

Clothes (black)

Luxury furniture

Caffeine

He read over the list several times and furrowed his eyebrow.

Kurda didn't know fuck all about swords but he did know Mika owned about half a dozen of them and each was one of a kind. He was also pretty sure it was too late to make a custom order that would be ready by tomorrow. Also, where does one even get a sword?

Whiskey would be a safe bet, but impersonal. Not to mention Mika had an entire shelf of the stuff. Vampires were always bringing back samples of fine liquor from their travels and it wasn't uncommon to offer first pick to the Princes when they arrived at the mountain.

Clothes? Not a chance. Mika had enough damn clothes and he could never find the ones he was looking for because they were all the same fucking colour. Next.

Luxury furniture... a grand idea, but too short notice. Maybe Kurda would commission something big and fancy for his 280th.

Caffeine... hmmm. Brewing coffee wasn't impossible in Vampire Mountain but it was a hell of a chore. There was a coffee making contraption in the kitchens that was mostly used during council. It was large and clumsy and built to accommodate quantity rather than producing quality. It wasn't practical for one person, and there weren't many vampires who drank coffee on a regular enough basis to keep it in use.

If only it could be miniaturized to fit neatly into the corner of Mika's cell... that way he could enjoy it whenever he wanted.

Kurda slammed his pencil down in excitement and shot out of his chair. That was exactly what he was going to do.

Now all he had to do was teach himself to build a coffee maker from scratch.

Kurda knew he was smart. In fact, he might be so bold as to say he was one of the smarter vampires out there. So he figured, how hard could a little handiwork be?

Very hard.

First he'd gone to the kitchen and drew a perfect replica of the coffee maker. Then he'd scurried around the mountain searching for supplies to build his own. Luckily, Mika had back to back meetings all day so he didn't have a chance to wonder where the hell Kurda had disappeared off to.

Kurda knew what he had to build - it would need a little pot with a hole at the bottom to contain the filter and grinds, a stand to hold it all up, and a pot for the coffee to trickle into. Luckily there was a huge fireplace in Mika's cell (The spoiled brat, Kurda thought to himself. Affectionately, of course) so it would be easy to boil some water.

It was simple in theory, but Kurda quickly learned that drawing the diagram had been the easy part. He came to that conclusion sitting on the floor in the west storage room, hidden behind a wall of dusty crates, surrounded by a box of random supplies he'd picked up that he thought he could cobble together to make it all work.

He should've known this had been a fool's errand. He'd wasted two hours now, and the thing in front of him didn't look remotely functional. In fact it looked like it was liable to fall apart and spill boiling water everywhere without warning.

Fuck... Kurda grunted to himself. In the time he'd spent on this, he could've put together a coupon book for backrubs and blowjobs or something along those lines; Mika would've found that ironically hilarious. It wasn't like he was expecting a birthday gift anyway, seeing as he hadn't brought it up. There was a pretty good chance he didn't even realize his birthday was coming up. He was always so preoccupied.

Kurda was in the middle of a highly unproductive one-man pity party when he heard footsteps approach and crates being shuffled around. He didn't have time to get to his feet before Seba came around the corner and jumped about a foot in the air when he realized he wasn't alone.

"Agh! Kurda!" The Quartermaster yelped in shock. "What are you doing back here?!"

"Sorry!" Kurda groaned in dismay. "Didn't mean to startle you. I heard you coming, I should've said something."

"I dare say that would have startled me regardless. I did not expect to find anyone here." Seba replied with a kind smile. "But may I ask what the hell you are doing?"

Kurda looked woefully at the lopsided contraption in front of him.

"What does it look like I'm doing? That's not a rhetorical question, by the way." Kurda sighed.

Seba looked down at Kurda's creation with a very thoughtful expression.

"Hmmmm... is it perhaps... a flower pot? A bedside snack-holder?"

"No..." Kurda grumbled in dismay.

"Not to worry! I will keep guessing." Said Seba earnestly, sitting down on the floor across from Kurda to take a closer look. "Oh! Surely it is a... a... uh... I am very sorry Kurda, I have not the foggiest idea of what you are building. Or trying to build."

"It's a coffee maker." Kurda mumbled dejectedly. "A miniature version of that big one in the kitchen."

"Oh!" Said Seba, beaming again. "I see it now! It is marvellous!"

"You don't have to patronize me." Said Kurda reproachfully. "I know it's bad."

Seba let our a small chuckle.

"It is pretty bad. May I ask why you have decided to spontaneously pursue a career in engineering?"

Kurda let our a long, woeful sigh.

"Tomorrow is Mika's birthday. He loves coffee... I just thought he'd love it even more if he could make it whenever he wanted. It was a stupid idea. This thing will never work. And he probably doesn't even know it's his birthday!"

Seba frowned, appearing deep in thought for several long moments.

"You know, Kurda... I've known Mika for almost his whole life. Longer than you've even been alive."

"I know..." Kurda replied glumly.

"Before the dawn of your relationship, I really thought I'd seen Mika hit his peak. He accomplished so much at such a young age. Always seemed to have a gods-given talent for success, that one."

"I'm well aware." Said Kurda, rolling his eyes.

"The night of his investiture, he was the happiest I had ever seen him. He looked on top of the world, and it was wonderful to behold. He wasn't even my apprentice but I was as proud as if he was. Of course, the fact that I was madly in love with his mentor might have had something to do with it." Seba added with a cheeky smile.

"Yeah... he loves that throne." Said Kurda with a wry smile.

"Indeed, he was made to be a Vampire Prince. And he is a spectacularly good one."

Kurda felt his heart swell.

"That he is." He murmured.

"But Kurda..." Seba continued pointedly. "As happy as Mika was then, on the biggest day of his entire life when he achieved what most can only imagine... it does not even come close to how happy he looks when he is with you."

Kurda's heart leapt into to his throat as he stared back at Seba in disbelief. Of course he knew Mika loved him, but to hear it in those words...

Seba's eyes crinkled warmly as he looked back at Kurda.

"I mean it. He may not show it by skipping around and acting giddy, but that is simply not who he is. He shows love in his own, distinct way. And every time you walk into the room, I can see it clear as day. Nothing else matters to him while he is looking at you."

Kurda felt a hot prickle behind his eyes and he had to take a deep, steadying breath in order to keep his composure.

"You changed him, Kurda. In all the best ways. He is calmer, more patient, and more humble - well, slightly more humble - than he has been in the almost three centuries I have known him. We - Paris and I - thought he had achieved the best version of himself when he took the throne. Because of you, we now know that was just the tip of the iceberg. His best is yet to come. As is yours." Seba concluded, still smiling softly.

Kurda had to look at the ceiling to keep the tears from streaming from his eyes. He didn't have time for a breakdown now. He swiftly rose to his feet, picking up the sorry excuse for a coffee maker as he did so. Then he looked down at Seba with renewed determination.

"Seba, what do you know about building things? Tomorrow, that man is going to wake up to a brand new coffee maker even if I die in the attempt. But I can't do it alone. Will you help me?"

He reached down and offered Seba his hand. The Quartermaster took it, and grinned wickedly as Kurda pulled him to his feet.

"'My dear General Smahlt, it would be my absolute pleasure."

Kurda was marginally embarrassed at how quickly and effortlessly Seba was able assemble a functional AND aesthetically pleasing coffee maker but he supposed being handy and creative was necessary to being an exceptional Quartermaster, so he tried not to take it personally.

Mika's schedule worked in Kurda's favour for this situation. It was his turn to guard the Hall of Princes overnight, so he'd be tired and unsuspecting when he returned to his cell. And Kurda would have time to wake up early and brew the coffee.

As it turned out, he had time to do one better and slip down to the Hall of Khledon Lurt and return with a tray of breakfast - complete with extra crispy bacon, an absolute staple in Mika's life. It was truly a cruel prank of the gods how one man could eat that much bacon yet still look that good.

But Kurda wouldn't grumble about the unfairness of life today. This was Mika's day.

Kurda had borrowed Arrow's desk chair so that himself and Mika could both sit together and use Mika's desk as their breakfast table as they broke in the coffee maker. He'd even stolen a large black piece of cloth that would serve as a tablecloth - to create the illusion of luxury. Throw in a few candles, and it was perfect. All he needed was Mika.

Who was late, of course. Mika was always punctual on his way to work. But leaving work tended to be another story. Kurda reached out to Arrow, whom he'd discreetly looped in the night before:

KS: What part of "kick him out of the hall by 6" did you not understand?

A: I'm trying, ok? He's micro-managing... no wait... he's Mika-managing. Hah!

KS: Ok, that's a good one. I'm going to use that. Now send him on his way before breakfast gets cold.

A: I'll do my best.

Kurda had a moment of enlightenment and grabbed one of the torches off the wall. He held it close to the breakfast tray to keep everything toasty, but not close enough to start a fire. Then finally he heard footsteps approaching. He quickly put the torch back in the bracket and then sat back down nonchalantly just as the door swung open.

Mika slowly walked in, looking quite tired indeed.

"Hey, babe..." he sighed "Did you have good -" then he stopped dead in his tracks and froze like a deer in headlights as he took in the sight of Kurda sitting proudly at the desk-turned-buffet, the heap of mouth-watering breakfast, and the two mugs of dark, steaming coffee.

"Kurda, what the fuck?" Mika breathed as he stared in disbelief. Kurda chuckled softly. The words may have been crude, but the look of wonder on Mika's face was the purest thing Kurda had ever seen. Kurda stood up and walked over to Mika, wrapped his arms around him and pressed a deep, slow kiss into his lips.

"Happy birthday, babe." Kurda grinned when their lips parted. "The big 270! Don't worry, though. You don't look a day over 200."

Mika's eyes widened in amazement.

"...It's my birthday?!"

Kurda rolled his eyes and let out a laugh of exasperation.

"Yes, it's your fucking birthday!"

"It can't be September already. I thought we were still on the third week of August."

"I promise you, today is September 9th. Gods, Mika... you live and breathe organization but you don't know even know what month it is?" Kurda smirked, playfully peppering Mika's neck with kisses. Mika shivered at the light tickle, then laughed, picked Kurda up roughly and kissed him on the lips once again.

"Life comes at you fast." Mika shrugged, a slightly dazed but utterly contented smile on his face.

"But not too fast to stop for breakfast." Kurda retorted swiftly.

"I always have time for breakfast." Mika agreed. He carried Kurda over to the desk and (slightly clumsily) set him down in the chair before taking a seat himself.

"Coffee?" Kurda asked pointedly, gesturing to the steaming mug closest to Mika.

"Yeah, obviously -" Mika began, then his jaw dropped as he spotted the coffee maker in the corner. There was still a filter and grinds in it and a few more cupfuls left in the pot. "Kurda... is that what I think it is?"

"Don't get excited yet." Kurda chuckled. "Try it first."

Mika obliged.

"This is the best coffee I've ever had in my entire life. Gods, I could fucking marry you right now. Did you make that yourself?"

"Seba helped a little." Kurda replied with a wry grin. "You know how hard it was to literally throw together a suitable birthday gift for you with about eight hours notice? And then it turns out YOU didn't even know it was your birthday?"

"I have a lot going on." Mika mumbled through a mouthful of bacon and biscuit.

"Good breakfast?" Kurda snickered as he watched his other half mow down enthusiastically.

"So good. You're my hero." Mika affirmed once his mouth was no longer full. "But if I'm being honest, all I really want to do right now is throw you into that coffin and rip your clothes off." He added bluntly, raising his eyebrows.

Kurda snorted loudly at that, endlessly amused by Mika's ever-present dry honesty. But completely intoxicated by the way the Prince's steely eyes softened as he looked across at him.

"That coffin's not going anywhere. We've got all day to do whatever you want... you're the boss today." He told Mika firmly, then leaned over to kiss him on the forehead.

"I'm the boss every day."

"Oh, shut up and eat your breakfast, old man."

There you go, guys! Hope that softened the Endgame pain a little bit! And if you haven't read Endgame... don't lmao it's awful.

Thanks for reading! xoxo

- Roxy