Attempt One

9/7/2020

Summary: Small parts that were missing to make the original more believable with a logical answer for the question Blaine proposes towards Kurt.

AN: I wanted to do at least 1 Klaine Fic because what I was looking for doesn't exist in my small dive into it on fanfiction . Net. There's some really good stories out there but none are quite in line with what I wanted to see and I'm sure someone out there hopefully agrees with me? I might do several, I have several Glee runs in my head at the moment after watching the series in it's entirety ~10 years after it's release. I don't know why I love this couple so much, in many ways they have things they've done which would make me dislike any other couple but for some reason it doesn't bother me as much with them. There are a few things from the show that I could go into mostly with Klaine but other things as well that I won't delve into at this time (mostly to do with timing of things – too fast with some things and too slow with others – and unnecessary dramas in season 6 mainly when there was still so much more to work out in other realms but I won't speak more if it right now, it was a good show). I know there are a lot of what-ifs swirling around and I found a lot of opportunities to run with it. *the title isn't actually related to the fact this is my first attempt at Glee, rather it's to do with the story itself. :)

Chapter 1

All the stops were pulled out and all the show choirs both with old enemies and old friends surrounded them and Blaine was down on one knee holding out a ring. "Will you, Kurt?" Blaine repeated, starting to feel a little insecure and Kurt dropped to his knees so he was more on eye level with him.

Kurt took Blaine's hands, his father had denied his permission – a shock to Kurt in many ways and understandable in others. His father had lived through a lot and understood far more than Kurt realized he had and he had told his father he wasn't sure how he'd answer. Now, with the first real love of his life looking so vulnerable, he had to do something to salvage this. First instinct was to say yes and spare them all this humiliation and then say no in private but that would just hurt Blaine more. In another life he would and opt for a long engagement instead but it wasn't fair to either of them and it would just hurt their relationship to do it that way. This may hurt their relationship too but it was more honest.

Blaine was trying to up the commitment level after damaging their near-perfect relationship before it was strained because he probably didn't trust that either wouldn't stray if they remained boyfriend and boyfriend. Blaine's hands trembled in his and Kurt held on strong, trying to find the strength for both of them to see them through this.

"Blaine, I loved that you came out to see me at Christmas with Burt, despite where we both were at the time in the healing process. I love that we couldn't stay away from each other at this wedding. I love you and one day I would be proud to be your husband but this is too soon. We have so much to work through still and you're still in high school and I'm still in New York and -"

"Many couples make it who have never lived together before marriage."

"That was a different era and life-view. Many couples have made it for dozens of years and never married too." Marriage wasn't the be all, end all but Kurt did like the idea of being able to marry Blaine and all that went with it. They were both so mature and wise and both so free with their emotions and yet were terrible at communicating when it mattered the most but so good at it otherwise. They were both also immature and naïve and soft and foolish and young and made mistakes. Some couples made it while married in high school and some didn't and some never married and wished they had. Kurt was still trying to figure out all of this for himself. Between NYADA and Vogue and work that actually paid the rent and homework and additions and New York, there was so much to see and do and he was excited to share that with Blaine next year and the years after that but right now wasn't the time to be shackled to his old life. He had come home for his father's cancer check and see old friends and Blaine and attend the wedding of his favorite teacher. Truthfully he wasn't ready for marriage and planning one for himself and Blaine and while he loved his old life in the choir room, he loved his new one in New York more. He was ready to forgive Blaine completely and move on passed the hurt and start anew with him but he wasn't ready to be tied permanently to someone though he knew he would and it would be Blaine but not yet. Blaine didn't see it yet, he hadn't been out there yet and he was still in his old mindset, the only mindset he had until he cut ties and lived elsewhere. You were never fully free of your roots and Kurt didn't want that but he also liked his wings and while Blaine wouldn't be cutting them, he would make it harder to fly as far or fast or high.

With his thoughts in order and his feelings finally understood, Kurt kissed Blaine's hands and leaned in to kiss his cheek too. Then he whispered into his first love's ear. "I love you so much and while I can't say yes to this proposal, I can offer one of my own. Let's start dating again in earnest."

"Boyfriends?" Blaine asked hopefully and Kurt hesitated a fraction too long and Blaine's face cracked and he looked shattered.

"Can we work up to that? I have been saying that we're not back together and while it's not quite at that level of commitment again now, doesn't mean it can't be again soon. We have a lot more real things to talk about that shouldn't be said with this audience." He didn't mention how crazy it was to be proposing when you weren't even dating the person, it was so Blaine.

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes with a hang-dog puppy expression and Kurt's heart hurt to see it. Usually his eyes were filled with warmth, desire and love but since his last visit to New York, there was a pain that accompanied it. Since Blaine had asked him out the first time after their conversation about the Gap sales boy, Kurt had never once questioned what Blaine felt for him nor how he had felt for Blaine until that New York trip and then everything was thrown into question.

Some could blame Kurt for starting it with his flirtation with the records boy but that had been ego boosting more than anything else and he hadn't realized what he was doing but he had never wavered in his feelings for Blaine and never would have taken it further. The Sebastian energy exchange with Blaine had been much harder to accept and no matter what Blaine said or did, Kurt knew he had been attracted to the cruel boy from the moment they met. His throwing rock salt at Kurt hadn't stopped it even though it was Blaine who caught it.

Even now the two were friends or at least friendly. So much insecurity had assaulted Kurt when he saw the connection and draw the two had towards each other that when Blaine said he strayed, Kurt immediately thought it was with Sebastian. Kurt wasn't sure if a random hookup was any better, at least with Sebastian there had been an emotional connection that he could understand, but it would also have been one of the ultimate betrayals and it may have taken Kurt a lot longer to get back to this point, if ever. Sebastian had chased after Kurt's man with a vengeance and yet he had been a bully not only to his rival but the object of his affection, the entire New Directions team and to Dave.

He hadn't felt bad about nearly blinding Blaine which would have been Kurt if the attack had landed properly and Blaine hadn't pushed him out of the way and took it in his stead. He had only been remorseful when a rejection had led to a suicide attempt. Blaine had become fast friends with someone like that and even though Kurt too had befriended his bully in Dave, it was with a lot more effort on Dave's part to make amended that took years to show that he was serious. Dave had been attracted to him but Kurt had only felt intimidated by him, even when he stood up to him or turned him down. Turning him down had been with a well of courage urging him on since the boy had been so much larger and so terrifying and even if he turned over a new leaf, he still had that in him. In the end, Kurt had agreed to be his friend because he felt bad for him too but never let it get too close and always had an escape plan before he met up with him.

"Blaine, please, I'm trying to make this the best for both of us." Kurt held Blaine's hands to his chest. "I'm still in love with you and am willing to make this work." Although he would have Blaine get tested before allowing him back in his bed again. He just realized Blaine was ok with sleeping with random guys whereas Kurt needed an emotional connection in addition to the physical, maybe even more. Which was odd, since he thought the shorter male in front of him relied on that even more. Not to mention the fact that Blaine was so overwhelmed with the emotional and physical side of his relationship with Sam that he kept overlooking the fact that Sam was straight and not interested in Blaine that way even though he accepted it and yet Blaine was still half in love with his best friend and Kurt was trying really hard not to be a hypocrite with that since his feelings for Finn died long before he had feelings for Blaine and he also wanted to laugh hysterically at the oddness of that threesome of Sam, Blaine and Tina.

Granted he and Brittany made out to try and convince his dad that he could be manly too but never in his wildest unsure days did he ever fall that far down the rabbit hole with any of his female or male friends. He fantasized about Finn before he was his brother but that was because at the time Finn was the nicest male to him around his own age, even if he did participate in dumping him in the dumpster. He could acknowledge that Sam was hot and he'd thought for a moment that Sam was gay and crushed on him for just as long but once he was sure Sam was straight, those feeling subsided into friendship instantly, maybe he was even a little more distant with the transfer student and never made it fully into friendship territory with the younger guy.

The feelings he had for Adam currently were definitely of the rebound sort since he still loved Blaine with his whole being. He forgot Adam existed far too much to be healthy and yet Adam also didn't seem to care much about keeping in touch often or being responded to instantly.

"This isn't the last time you'll hear me ask." Blaine vowed and Kurt was glad to hear that but also a little intimidated by his conviction to do it again. He wanted him to ask, sure, or Kurt could ask Blaine, it kind of drove home that Blaine thought he was the lead in this relationship. He may get the lead parts, but Kurt was not a push over or extra cast member. Kurt wanted to be flippant and respond with 'let me ask first' or 'wait until I ask' but he held his tongue and maybe because he did it was the first dishonest act of their new relationship and a stumbling block for them that would only get larger. Kurt bemoaned the small slip of not saying what was on his mind at that exact moment with everyone there or revisiting it in the future since he was trying so hard to be completely honest and upfront with Blaine this time around.

The two linked hands and thanked everyone there and left to go talk about their current issues. They got most of the way through the conversation before their clothes somehow came off and they were canoodling on the couch. Burt knocked discretely on the door an hour later with a clearing of his throat as both of the boys hurried to get dressed. "So much for layers." Kurt teased referencing an old conversation about ripping clothes off and a quickie.

Burt reminded them that Kurt had a plane to catch.

Kurt left Blaine in a much better head space than when he came and he felt good about where there relationship was at currently. They still had a lot of work to do on both of themselves and together and it would keep needing to change and adjust to them as adults in New York when the time came but he was not sure that they could work through any of their problems. Soon Kurt would feel good about using the B word again but first he had to break up with Adam even if they weren't technically an item and had only gone out a few times.

In the car it was silent and then Burt finally opened up and said the few words that he was known for. "I'm glad the two of you are back together and glad that you didn't say yes to his proposal. I love him like a third son, you know that and I like the two of you together."

"I know dad, and I think we are good for each other too; it's just that we both have so much more growing up to do and I think we'll end up together in the end."

"You've taught each other a lot about the world and yourselves. Just... don't let him break your heart again."

"I don't think that's something I'm able to promise. He's broken it so many times already without even knowing he's done so, and because I've never been able to take it out of his hands to stop him, but he's also put it back together every time and made it stronger and nicer somehow." There were still cracks but even those were fusing back together, it was like Blaine added the sparkle to his heart and every time something happened between them whether it was good or bad it made it sparkle more so. Except Kurt explain that part to Burt, somehow though Sue Sylvester had made some kind of comment that showed that she'd noticed it herself. Sue, who didn't even really like Blaine, liked him with Kurt because it made him better between the support and the challenges.

"He's a good kid." Burt finally said. "And he means well."

Kurt nodded, Blaine was a really good guy with an incredibly big heart, it's what made it so easy to love him.

"You'll both change, and that's a good thing, but I hope neither of you really change, you're both amazing people as it is." Burt was saying more than he normally did and Kurt wondered if it was because he hadn't had the time to say everything he needed to, to Finn and wanted to make sure he didn't make the same mistake with either of his two other 'sons'. "I love you Kurt."

"I love you dad." Kurt didn't want to cry anymore but tears still sprang up to his eyes as he said another goodbye and this time to who he used to say was the most important person in his life, who he loved the most of all others and it was still true but Blaine was making a steady climb and grab for that top spot with every passing day, but it was his dad that was unconditional and completely faithful and still managed to teach Kurt a lesson while doing so. He had been gentle but strict and firm with Kurt and a bit more forceful with Finn with more finality to it when it came to Kurt but still loving. With Blaine he was softer again but stronger and more strict and firm than with either of the other two boys. Perhaps it was because he wasn't Blaine's father in anyway but some day may be father-in-law and wanted to protect both boys from themselves and each other while also encouraging a relationship there between them. He had after all brought Blaine out to see Kurt for Christmas all on his own volition, knowing how Kurt was hurting, maybe because of it.

At the airport Kurt hugged his father hard and long and his dad returned it with equal strength, maybe more, but didn't want to hurt his son either by hugging him too firmly.