2018 giftfic for crownedcrusader on ao3

Prompt: Maybe something with Kon


Kon sneezed. A big, earth-quaking, breaking the sound barrier, Dad-like sneeze. So loud it startled Greta out of the air and actually made Bart look up from his video game.

"Was that a gunshot?" Cassie asked as she walked into the room.

Kon scowled at all of his friends. "It wasn't that loud."

"You sound like my Dad, mon." Anita smirked. "You'd fit right in with him and Uncle Ish."

"Are you getting sick?" Bart asked curiously.

"Don't be stupid. I can't get sick. I'm Kryptonian."

"Superman doesn't get sick?" Greta asked.

Everyone turned to Robin who was flipping through a magazine. "What?"

"Well, you know Superman best."

"You're his clone."

"Yeah, and I see him at most once a month. And then it's just 'Oh hey, Kon, why don't you take Parasite over to Iron Gates for me?' or 'Hey do you mind helping me out with the Terror Twins? I need to get this deadline done by tonight.'"

Everyone turned back to Robin. Robin just shrugged. "I've never seen him get sick."

"Then clearly, I'm not getting sick either." Kon snapped. Then he sneezed again. Another giant, sea-parting sneeze.

"You're sick." His teammates chorused. Even Slobo, who was so rarely willing to participate in other people's lives.

Kon stuck his tongue out. "'M not sick!" He grumbled then sat next to Bart on the couch.

Bart scooted away from him. Kon gave his friend a look. "What? I don't want to get sick!"

"I'm not- Oh whatever." Kon grumbled. Then, he sneezed a third time. This was going to get annoying.


"Where's Kon? Wendy's on. He never misses it." Cissie said with a frown.

"You in this ep?" Cassie asked, taking the popcorn from Slobo despite his arguments. "It's for everyone."

Slobo chewed loudly with his mouth open in her direction.

"Yeah. It's the one where Llwella finds out-"

"Shh! Spoilers!" Greta hissed, settling down next to Bart.

"This is ridiculous, he's going to miss the episode." Robin grumbled. "I'm going to get him."

Robin marched through the hotel until he reached Kon's room. A SuperboyTM brand S sticker pasted onto the door loudly declared it to be Kon's domain. And right under was a sticker of Wendy herself.

Robin knocked on the door. "C'mon man, show's starting in a little."

No answer.

Robin didn't want to just walk in. Kon hadn't come out of his room all day, and usually that meant that he wasn't to be… disturbed. But this was Wendy, and Cissie was right: Kon never missed an episode. So he knocked again. "Dude, open up."

Still, all that came to him was silence.

Robin gripped the handle, and slowly, but surely, swung open the door.

At first, Robin thought that Kon himself must not be in the room, and then he saw the bundle of blankets on Kon's bed rise and fall in a breathing pattern and loud snoring. Robin rolled his eyes behind his mask and walked over to the bed. "Kon, get up."

What was Kon doing sleeping this late? Usually he was up with the-well, with the sun.

Oh. Oh no way. It couldn't be. Uh-uh.

Robin narrowed his eyes.

He'd hold off judgment on his screw-ball theory. At least, until it gained more proof.

Robin stalked over to the bed and whipped off the covers. Kon was curled up on the bed in Wonder Woman footie-pajamas. His arms wrapped tightly around a Wendy body pillow.

Robin pushed Kon.

"Kon… Wake up..."

Kon made a nonsense noise and blinked his eyes open blearily. The whites of his irises were bloodshot, his tanned face was bright red, and his nose was running. Robin could hear his congested breathing from four feet away.

"You don't look so good."

Kon grumbled something that sounded distinctly like a swearword.

"Shut up and sit still." Robin responded. He sat down and leaned down to Kon's forehead to kiss it to check for a fever.

Yep. He's burning up.

When he pulled back, Kon's gummed up eyes were as wide as they could go. "What'd you do tha' for?" He slurred.

"It's how you check for a fever." Robin told him. "And you've got one."

"'M not sick." He grumbled. Kon sat up and then grabbed at his head with one hand and at Robin's shoulder with the other. "Woah. Is the world supposed to be spinning like that?"

"Okay." Robin said, gently ushering Kon back into a horizontal position on the bed. "You're going back to bed and I'm going to get you some cold medicine."

"But I'm a Kryptonian. We don't get human sicknesses." Kon protested weakly.

"What? Are ours not good enough for you?" Robin joked.

Kon was too sick to respond in any way other than giving Robin a particular bird. Robin returned it with a sickly sweet smile.

Robin closed the door behind him but as he could hear from where he was, the all-powerful, invincible Superboy has fallen back asleep.


"Take your medicine, Kon." Anita said, shoving the liquid cough syrup in his face.

"No! It's gross! And I don't need it!" Kon grumbled, but his argument was almost incomprehensible because he was so congested. "Because-"

"You're not sick." His teammates chorused.

"Honestly, I never thought I'd miss you saying 'tactile telekinesis'." Ray said.

"Kon." Cissie snapped. "Take your medicine or I'll shove it down your throat."

"Make me."

Cissie began to roll up her sleeves. "Cissie, no-!" Greta cried.

Traya rolled her eyes. She climbed up onto the bed next to Kon. He was swaddled in all the blankets they could find in attempt to sweat out the fever, but so far Kon was still sick. She took the medicine from Anita and held out a measured spoonful of it.

"Come on, please Kon." Traya asked, turning up the puppy dog eyes.

Kon scowled. "Fine."

"Yes! Everybody pay up!" Slobo crowed.

Kon turned to tell him off but was interrupted as Traya shoved the medicine into his mouth. Kon was about to say something mean and then remembered how young Traya was and stopped himself.

"It tastes icky." Kon complained once Traya had removed the spoon. But he did definitely sound better already.

Traya read the label. "It says another spoonful in two hours. Has Robin come back with that soup, yet?"

Cassie shook her head. "He said he'd be back in half an hour or so."

"'M not sick. Don't want soup." Kon grumbled, sliding further under the thick covers of his bed. He then hacked out a wet cough, expertly coughed it into a wastebasket next to him.

"Riight." Cassie said, shaking her head.

Kon yawned. "Sleepy..."

"Come on guys. He'll only heal if he gets his rest." Greta said quietly. The team shuffled out, and Ray, the last out the door, turned off the light, letting Kon sink into sleep in the dark.


Kon had been sick for a week. Even the best chicken soup in the world, or so Robin claimed, had done nothing but bring down his fever. Bart assumed he was right because Robin usually was about these things. Lots of research would go into his claims Bart had learned. Still, Kon hacked and coughed like someone who'd been smoking for thirty years. Still, Kon blew his nose and sneezed with sounds like earthquakes and gunshots. Kon couldn't even leave on missions, he was so weak and tired. But hey, at least his fever had gone down.

And his fever wasn't the only thing that was down, Kon was too. He moped all the time. Kicking his feet, padding around the hotel in his Wonder Woman pajamas sad and pouting.

It was starting to get on Greta's nerves. Greta's.

"It's all the time! Just moaning and groaning and hacking and coughing! Doesn't he have anywhere else he can go?" She whined to Robin.

Oh. Oh. Robin's eyes widened behind his mask. Could it be… It had been a while since he'd thought of his theory behind Kon's sickness. Could it be…?

No...


"Soo… Kon. How you doing?"

Kon slithered up and poked his head out from under his quilt. He frowned and stuck a singular hand out into the cold air, grabbed a handful of tissues, slithered back under the blankets, blew his nose, and then tossed it out and into the garbage can next to the bed.

Robin whistled appreciatively. "Two points."

Kon grumbled something that Robin couldn't understand.

"Kon. Gonna come out and talk to me?"

"No."

"Well then, I guess I'll talk to you." Robin turned and sat on the side of Kon's bed. He could hear Kon behind him breathing. "I think I know why you're so sick lately and such a grouch."

Kon's head shot out from under his blanket so fast Robin almost fell off of the bed. "Really? So I'm not like, a broken Kryptonian?"

"Just answer my questions."

"Okay."

"When was the last time you left the hotel? Like, went out to do something that wasn't a mission."

Kon opened his mouth and then closed it. "Does coming here from Cadmus count?"

"No."

"When I went out to the movies."

"When did you go out?"

"At like, six at night. In like, Novemeber"

Robin frowned. Six at night in the winter… that was already dark.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

"When was the last time you were in Hawaii?"

Kon scratched at his stubble thoughtfully. "October? They've got a new hero now, don't want me."

"And Cadmus? That's where you live now, right?"

"I mean yeah, but all I do is stay inside and drink coffee and marathon Wendy VCR collections-"

"You never go outside when you stay there?"

Kon shrugged. "No reason. Don't have Tana… or Roxy… now it's just me and Sterling sometimes. And you guys. Nothing else really in my life."

That's what Robin had feared. "I think you've got severe seasonal depression."

Kon frowned, squinting at Robin. "What?"

"You're a Kryptonian, Kon. You guys are like sunshine batteries. Us humans sometimes get seasonal depression in the winter. By not seeing the sun for a while, we get cranky and sad and exhausted—some people even get sick sometimes. For you it must be a hundred times worse. Your battery has run out, making you susceptible to colds and being, well, a bitch."

"Robin!" Kon gasped in fake offense.

"Kon, you've started to irritate even Greta. That's what I would call 'being a bitch.'"

"So what's your prescription, Doc? A tan?"

"Yeah, actually. Kon-El, I'm sentencing you to a week on a sunny beach. I'm sure you'll have a horrible time." Robin gave him a small smirk.

"Fine. But you gotta tell Cassie why I'm leaving, she'll never believe me." Kon said, sliding back under the covers.

"Deal. But only if I can come along."

"Deal."