My big brother

Warnings/notes : none, just a fic on Mukabo and some of his thoughts on Kaiba.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 9th march 2003, by Misura


My brother is the best brother anyone could wish for.

He's always there for me.

Whenever I come to see him, he drops whatever it is he's doing to listen to me.

If I tell him there are monsters waiting for me under my bed so I don't want to go to sleep, he doesn't laugh at me or make fun of my fears.

Instead he walks with me to my room, so we can look together. Because I'm afraid on my own, but when he's with me, I'm not afraid of anything.

He's not afraid either. I want to be like him one day.

Then, when we have made sure there aren't any monsters, he tucks me in and gives me a good-night hug. I know it's a bit childish, yet I like it.

Sometimes, when he's angry or upset, he barely talks to anyone, not even to me. Even if I know he'll snap out of it eventually it still makes me miserable whenever it happens.

In times like that, only his good-night hugs tell me he loves me, tell me he cares about me.

A lot of people don't like my brother.

He never complains about it, though it must mean something to him.

How can he care so much about me, and be completely indifferent to everybody else?

That doesn't sound very logical to me.

Maybe part of the problem is that he has so much things to do ; he spends a lot of time studying his cards and the ways he can use them. The rest of the time he's with me.

Yet I still miss him awfully often.

I try to understand he can't be with me every hour of the day, I really do.

I don't have much friends beside my brother either.

And it's hard to let go, even if part of me knows it would be better.

I don't want anyone else ; I want my brother. It's selfish, to want to keep him all to myself. If I really loved him, I would encourage him to meet other people.

I guess I don't love him enough.

Not enough to place his happiness before mine.

Not enough to accept that he is nearly an adult now, while I'm still a kid.

He can't really enjoy my company ; he just pretends he does because he doesn't want to hurt my feelings, that's all. I'm sure of it, even if I don't want to believe it.

My brother is the best brother in the whole wide world.

There's nothing he wouldn't do for me.

That scares me a little sometimes.

I think that if I asked for the moon, he would try to find a way to give it to me. No matter how much time it would cost him, he wouldn't rest until the moon would be mine.

It's not right that someone has so much power over another person.

And I don't deserve it, don't deserve to be loved so much.

What did I ever do for him, but being born and following him around as soon as I could walk?

I'm nothing but a burden for him, holding him down. Slowing his progress.

He'd never say so, of course, which only makes matters worse for me.

Like I remarked, there are times when he's angry or upset. Yet he never takes his frustrations out on me, not even if I do or ask something really stupid.

My brother is the best big brother there ever was.

And I am the worst little brother anyone could imagine.

~OWARI [I think it is anyway]~