As if I'm not busy enough, here's the start of another story. I can't help myself.

No copyright infringement intended.


Chapter One

"Edward, I need a favor. I wouldn't ask, but I'm desperate," I say, standing in the doorway of his sterile work room.

He looks up from the half naked girl draped over his tattoo chair, and I tilt my head to get a look at what exactly he's tattooing and where. The girl's back is to me, so that means he's tattooing very low - close to her cooter?

He uses the back of his hand to tip his ball cap back. That move always has me panting like a whore in church which is ridiculous. I'm not a whore and I don't even go to church. "Bells, yeah?" He tips his head to the girl and holds his gun up, telling me he's busy and to get a move on.

"Oh, sorry. I'll come back." I turn to leave, but he stands, telling the girl he'll be right back.

He grips my elbow, but it's so insignificant because he's wearing a latex glove, so his skin isn't even touching mine. Such a shame. He pulls me into the lounge area and shuts the door. "Is everything okay?"

God, who knew he'd turn out to be so sweet. The nose piercing and array of colorful tattoos - I thought they'd tell a different story.

Yeah, I was that judgmental bitch.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I can't stop staring at his lips - the way the bottom one is fuller than the top, and it always looks like he's pouting. He's in a constant state of pout, and I like it so much, I want to see him pout for real.

"You said you needed a favor?" He prompts, trashing the gloves and grabbing a bottle of water.

"Crap, yes! So here's the thing. My mom is throwing an engagement party for my brother, and she's practically begging me to bring my boyfriend home this weekend…"

"Boyfriend? I didn't know you were seeing someone. Who is he?" He asks, looking totally and completely confused.

"No one. I don't even have a boyfriend. I lied because she was going on and on about how my brother is engaged to the love of his life, and that I'm going to grow old and die alone or become this crazy cat lady…" His lips twitch, and he nods for me to go on. "...and to get her to shut up, I said I was seeing someone."

"Okay…"

"Herein lies the problem. I'm not seeing someone and have no one to take home, so I need you to be my fake boyfriend this weekend. If not, I understand. I guess I could ask Jasper…"

"I'll do it," he says, the pout more pronounced now. Wow, he does such good pout. Imagine what a little lip blush could do.

"Really?"

He shrugs. "Let me move some things around, but yeah, I'll play the boyfriend."

"You're the best," I squeal and lean up to kiss his scruffy cheek. "We'll have to leave tomorrow afternoon. Does that give you enough time?"

I pull open the door and look back at him, and he lifts his chin. I take it as a yes and hurry down the hall, waving at Jasper as I push the glass door open. Lauren and Jess aren't with customers when I cross over to our side of main street and push the door open to Twilight Lashes.

"Do you think this is a good idea?" Lauren asks, immediately concerned.

"Hell yeah," Jess says for me. "A weekend with Edward. Sign me the fuck up."

"Seriously? You're with Mike."

"Oh, so having a boyfriend means I can't enjoy the male species, the female species? I'm in a relationship, I'm not blind. Edward is the hottest piece of ass this side of the equator."

"You shouldn't treat him like he's a piece of meat," Lauren says, glaring at Jess.

"Speaking of meat," she says, ignoring Lauren completely, her eyes lit in excitement. "I wonder if our girl will see his meat this weekend."

"Jess!" Lauren says, completely appalled and still not used to Jess' crude nature.

I pat Lauren's hand and pretend I'm not thinking of Edward's meat now. I wasn't before, but now that Jess mentioned it, it's taking up a big part of my brain.

"I wonder if it's pierced…" Jess says, almost to herself, and that just opened up an entirely new can of worms for me.

"Okay, stop. Now I'm going to spend the entire weekend wondering if he's got the Prince Albert."

Jess scoffs. "You want the ampallang or the apadravya. Now those are the real clit stimulators."

"How are we even friends?" Lauren asks, and even though I can't see the blush staining her cheeks, I know they are beet red.

I ignore their back and forth and pull my phone out, looking up both piercings and dear Lord above, why do I find the idea of either one so sickly enticing? More importantly, why do I hope Edward has all of the above? The real question is - how can I convince him to show me?

I've literally just conjured up the idea that he's even pierced. He's probably not. Can you imagine the pain it would take to do that? I mean, he looks tough. I bet he could hack it, but still.

"Let's close early," I interrupt their bickering, shaking away the thoughts of Edward's dingaling. "I need to go shopping."

"But first dinner," Jess says, jogging in her heels to flip the sign to closed and lock the door. "I want sushi."

"No way," Lauren yelps. "Last time we ate sushi, I spent the entire next day in the bathroom."

"Fine, let's go to Breaking Dawn."

"We can't get drunk," I say, pulling my purse over my head.

"We won't get drunk," Jess promises.

"We're probably getting drunk," Lauren says.

"So what? Bella has more clothes than both of us combined. Like she needs to go shopping."

All very true, but who doesn't like to shop?

"One drink," I say, pointing a finger at Jess, screeching when she bites down on it hard. I cradle my hand and push the back door open to the alley where our cars are parked. "I'll drive."

"I'll meet you guys there," Jess says, heading to her own car.

"Where are you going?" I call out.

"I promised Mike a blowie," she says, blowing Lauren a kiss just to rile her up.

"She's sick."

I look over at her when we get into my car. "Do you really not do that sort of thing?"

"What?"

"Blowie's and such?"

"Oh." She blushes and puts her seatbelt on. "I don't like to talk about my sex life."

"So no then?"

"Bella! Yes, of course I give blowies. Christ. Let's just go."

I giggle and start the car, shutting my mouth for now. I bet when Lauren applied at Twilight Lashes a year ago, she had no idea what she was getting into with Jess.

To me it seems like some perverse type of flirting for Jess. She's been known to go down on a few girls. Is Lauren her next victim? Would Lauren turn her down? Why am I suddenly thinking of the two of them naked together? Something is wrong with my brain today. First, dick piercings. Now lesbian love fests. Maybe I really do need to get drunk.

...

"Esme, you should see him," Jess says. She holds up both hands, flashing her fingers open and closed over and over. "A fucking 10. If I wasn't with Mike, I'd hit that."

"Do you always have to talk like a 14 year old hornball?" Lauren sips on her wine, staring down Jess now that she's full of liquid courage.

Jess looks over at her and snorts. "Hornball? Really? Where do you come up with these words?"

Lauren shrugs. "It's what you are. It doesn't matter how I say it."

Esme slides another Blue Moon my way, and I drink half before leaning forward and crooking a finger at my favorite bartender. Bar owner. "He really is a 10. He bought the studio across from mine six months ago - Eclipse Ink - and he's like one of my best friends now." Jess scoffs next to me, and I smile at Esme. "He has the poutiest lips I've ever seen." I sigh and take another drink out of my bottle before wrapping it in a fist and holding it to my chest. "He's so pretty."

Esme chuckles and leans away from the half drunk me, and I turn to see Lauren and Jess in the most awkward stare down known to woman. "What are you guys doing?"

Lauren jumps, sloshing her wine a bit and smiles at me. "Let's go shopping now."

"Sorry to burst your precious bubble, Lo, but we can't drink and drive," Jess says.

I hop off my stool and drain my bottle before setting it on the bar top. "We can walk. There's this leather pencil skirt I'd die for at the boutique down main." I pull Jess from her stool and Lauren hops down to follow us. We wave at Esme as we leave, and she blows me a kiss.

Gosh, I love her.

I link my arm through Jess' as we walk with Lauren on Jess' other side. We come up on the opposite end of main from our lash studio and get to the boutique just before it closes.

"I'm so sorry, Thea. I'll be fast." She opens the door wide, and I push inside, leaving Jess and Lauren to do their weird foreplay outside. I mean, I don't honestly think Lauren swings that way, but she's like a mouse falling into Jess' weird trap.

I grab the last skirt in my size, and thank my lucky stars there was one left. I hurry through the rest of the store, grabbing shit I probably don't need but desperately can't live without. An engagement party is the perfect excuse to stock up. "Thank you so much. Come down to the studio next week, and I'll do your lashes - on me."

"Thanks, doll."

I step out of the shop and find Lauren and Jess sitting on the curb. "I called Mike to come get us," Jess says, tilting her head back to look at me upside down.

"Oh thank God. I didn't want to have to drag these bags around."

Lauren's eyes widen. "Did you buy the entire store?"

"No," I scoff. "Only half of it."

Jess stands. "Breaking Dawn isn't far. I told him to meet us there." She takes a couple bags and Lauren does the same and we head back to Esme and more Blue Moon. "Anyway, we have the best sex when I'm intoxicated. Let's just say I lack inhibitions and he can sneak his dick in my ass and I barely notice."

Lauren blanches, and I laugh so hard I almost pee.

We store the bags in my car, and Esme is not shocked to see us again. It takes Mike an hour to show up, and well, let's just say we're truly intoxicated by then. Even Lauren is loosening up and having fun.

Mike sits at the bar and watches us like an overgrown babysitter, and Jess moves like a pornstar on the dance floor which makes Lauren and me giggle ourselves stupid.

"She's so totally getting it in the butt tonight," Lauren whispers, laughing, but she actually sounds jealous. Either my vibes are off or sweet Lo wants to get down and dirty with my best friend.

When Jess is about to start taking her clothes off, Mike marches into the middle of the room and says it's time to go. After telling Esme I'm leaving my car for the night, we pile into Mike's truck. Jess whispers filthy nothings into Mike's ear, and I'm happy to be the first one dropped off.

Although I'm a little worried those two are going to corrupt Lauren while I'm not there to intervene. But hey, Lauren's a big girl. She doesn't need me to cock block her. Or pussy block here. Whatever.

After a hot shower and three glasses of water, I pack for the weekend, laying out my leather skirt for tomorrow, though. That thing is so beautiful I could wear it every day. I wouldn't, but I could.

Jess texts me that they made it home, and I'm too afraid to ask if Lauren's with her. I think I'd rather be left in the dark when it comes to something like that. I don't think I could look either one of them in the eye at work tomorrow knowing Lauren sat on Jess' face or something equally disturbingly hot.

And it is disturbing.

Well, and hot.

What if they're having a full blown threesome over there? Lauren won't walk straight for a week.

That poor girl.

I'll pray for her.