Disclaimer: I don't own Hiei-sama or Yu Yu Hakusho, and I never will.


So many times I have wondered

As to why I am what I am.

Cold and vicious. A demon.

I wonder how my life should change,

Or would change

If it could.

I think back on what I have done in the past,

And will do in the future.


You receive what you give,

We become the very things we do.

What am I?

I dish out pain,

And it fills my heart,

Spilling over onto my cheeks.

They fall to the ground and shatter.

Cold and hard, broken.

Like me and my dreams.

So many thoughts,

Painful and bloody

Tumble through my mind.

All I want is a place to belong,

A place where it'll be alright,

I don't want to be alone any more.

But I don't want,

And don't deserve, comfort

In the friends I have.

If you could see into my eyes,

And into my soul,

What would you see?

A spirit crying out,

Screaming mute words,

Only I can hear.

I need to wake from this dream,

And shake myself

From these bloody thoughts.

Remembering the killing

And the blood and the pain,

Is killing me.

I need to open my eyes,

Spirit and soul

To everything.

Inside of me is empty,

There is nothing inside.

I'm starving for the truth.

I wish to spill it all out,

I wish to speak,

And tell of these bloody thoughts.

I want just one moment,

A fraction of time,

To understand these bloody thoughts.

I'm blinded to everything,

And everyone

That is important to me.

I need to see past everything that haunts me

I need to forget my past

And these damned bloody thoughts.

Do you like it? Does it suck? Please review and if you do like it, I will write more angst Hiei poems and fics.