My roommate suggested I write a fic about Sakaki having Empty Womb Syndrome and I decided to take it a little farther.
BRAP, BRAP, BRAP, BR-
Kaorin slammed off the alarm. She lay awake in bed, blinking the sleep out of her eyes, the fog slowly clearing. She stretched until she felt her joints starting to strain, and yawned again. She rolled over and looked outside. It was grey and drizzly, as expected for an early Friday morning in October. 8 am. Ugh. If she'd known that a degree in planetary science would result in her working at a bookstore, she might've just saved her money.
She rolled over to her other side to wake her wife up for work. Sure, they weren't legally married, but they'd said we're having a ceremony anyway, who cares if it has any legal binding. Kaorin had, of course, been the one to propose-she wouldn't have it any other way-and they held a small private ceremony at Chiyo's summer home with their closest friends. A picture of their wedding entourage sat in a tidy frame on a nightstand.
"Dear," she said, gently jostling Sakaki.
"Dear, it's time to wake up."
"Mmmmmmmm. Okay, fine, I'm getting up."
"At least it's Friday."
Something about Sakaki's voice made it sound like there was more on her mind than just being tired, but Kaorin didn't want to pry. That being said, something was definitely up. She didn't say anything while she showered, and she usually sang in the shower. She ate her breakfast silently. She put on her veterinarian's uniform and walked slowly to the front door. She held Kaorin from behind on the motorcycle ride to work as usual, but stayed quiet. She didn't smile once, not even waving goodbye to Kaorin as she went inside.
Her demeanor bothered Kaorin something awful. She tried to remember if anything had happened last night to cause this, but remembering was difficult with her dissociative disorder. She didn't think anything had happened. Just routine weeknight stuff. They'd gone to bed tired, but in good spirits. She went to work, full of worry. She was pretty good at putting aside emotions when she needed to be there for others, but this time it was extremely difficult. She'd not seen Sakaki that emotionally distant in years.
Her boss took notice of Kaorin's distance. "Heya, Kaorin," Osaka said. "You doin' okay today?" Kaorin shrugged. "Relatively, I guess."
"Well, I'm askin' 'cause you don't sound okay. And we went to school together an' all..." Kaorin sighed. Osaka was too nice to be her boss. "Look, Ayumu..."
"Oh you don't have to call me that, Kaorin!"
"I should, you're my boss."
"I mean, yeah you should, but you don't have to!"
"Anyway, I'm doing okay, I guess. Just under the weather."
"Yeah, it's pretty cloudy out," Osaka said, looking outside. "I can see how you'd be under it."
"No, Osaka, I mean-"
"I know what you mean, Kaorin," Osaka replied. "You have customers, by the way." Kaorin gave a small grunt of annoyance and went back to work.
Finally, time to go home. Well, pick up Sakaki, then go home. She arrived at the veterinary clinic, but didn't see Sakaki waiting for her, either outside or inside.
She popped her head inside. "Hey, where is...?"
"Hmm?" the receptionist perked up her head from the computer. "Oh, Kaori! Sakaki went home early today. She was feeling really unwell. Was she sick this morning?" Kaorin frowned. "She was really out of it this morning, but I didn't notice anything physical. I didn't want to pry." The receptionist also frowned a little. "Hmm. Well, keep an eye on her. She was really not doing well today."
"I will, thank you." And then she drove home.
When she got home, the lights were out. Nothing was out of place. The bedroom door was slightly ajar. Sakaki was lying in bed, naked, curled into a ball, softly shaking. "Sweetie?" Kaorin asked. No response. She went over to the bed and lay next to her. "The clinic said you went home early. What's going on?"
"I...don't know if you'd understand."
"I'm sure I will."
"No, it's...you know..."
"A trans thing?"
Sakaki nodded slightly.
"Well," Kaorin said, putting a hand on her wife, "I can surely *try* to understand."
"I guess," Sakaki said, and she slowly sat up. She clutched her stomach. "I feel...thin."
That's odd, Kaorin thought to herself. But she held herself from saying anything. She knew there had to be more to this.
"I feel like I should be...full." She rubbed her stomach, as if the fact it was empty gave her great pain. Then, it very slowly dawned on Kaorin, but Sakaki said what she was thinking. "I wish I...ugh, this sounds so fucking weird...I wish I was pregnant."
"Sweetie, that's not weird at all. I know a lot of girls who go through that."
"It hurts so much, because, you know, I can't be."
"Well," Kaorin said, snuggling up close to her, "I've heard uterine transplants are a thing now."
Sakaki looked at her. "We're 22. You work part-time at a bookstore. I work full-time at a vet...we make enough. But not that much." She looked hopelessly despondent.
Kaorin put her hand on hers. "Do you ever think about us having children, you know, the...regular way?"
Sakaki sighed. "We barely make enough for that, either," she said. "But yeah, I've thought about it. A lot recently, actually. Especially since, you know, next year is supposed to be my surgery date."
"We'd need to save up a lot," Kaorin said. "Your surgery crowdfund got enough, so we should be okay on that front, but not having a full source of income for a year...it'd be rough."
"Kinda lucked out that I'd be the one keeping my job, eh?" Sakaki said. "Even though...I wish I was the one..."
"I know, sweetie. I know. But this is the next best option we have." She sighed. "I think that...if we saved up enough and get our ducks in a row..." She held Sakaki's hand tightly. "I'd be ready for this. I'm ready emotionally. I just want to make sure we don't, you know, make a misstep."
"Yeah." Sakaki looked a little more grounded than she had all day, but still very sad. "I'm sorry, Kaorin, I should've told you about all this..."
"You would tell me one way or another, I trust you."
Sakaki looked at her. "The fact you do means so much to me, sweetie. I love you so much."
"So, um...does that sound like a plan? We'll have to go to a bare-bones budget for a while, but I think we can do it."
Sakaki nodded. Slowly at first, but getting more vigorous. She was ready.