Okay, OKAY. Orangejujy is going to beat me to a bloody pulp if I don't do this, so I will. ALL credit for this goes to the original authoress of Purple High, Keaira. I'm just allowed to do a sequel, whoo!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything . . . anything at all . . . Yu Yu Hakusho and all of its characters go to the original creator and Jim goes to Keaira.
Okay? Lets get started!
Purple High 2
Kurama sleepily made his way down the stairs to the kitchen, thankful for weekends. No school meant sleeping late, and a big breakfast. Unfortunately he'd have to make his own this morning, because Shiori was forced to work. Wearing only a pair of white boxers, he sleepily rubbed his eyes and stumbled into the kitchen.
"Eek!" he 'eek-ed' as he entered the room. His refrigerator was pushed about six feet to the left. He had no time to ponder this, however. There, at the kitchen table, was Hiei. Wearing a pair of white boxers.
"My boxers!" Kurama realized, his eyes going swirly. Hiei was eating Lucky Charms©.
"Um-hum . . ." Hiei agreed, munching away.
"Why are you wearing—?" Kurama didn't have time to finish. He was interrupted by another unidentified noise.
"Let me out!" a muffled voice came from somewhere in the kitchen.
"Was that . . .?" Kurama started.
"Yffooske!" Hiei announced triumphantly, spewing Lucky Charms© all over his friend.
"Y-Yusuke?" Kurama attempted a translation, wiping some half-chewed cereal out of his face.
Hiei nodded vigorously.
"Did you do that?"
"Yfess!" Hiei announced, spewing bits of cereal everywhere. Suddenly his keen eyes spotted a partly chewed marshmallow attached to Kurama's bare shoulder. He swallowed.
"Don't . . . move . . ." he said, and ever so carefully pulled it from Kurama's shoulder. The fox watched in horror as his tiny, confused friend popped it back into his mouth and chewed contentedly.
A loud banging on the wall made Kurama jump. "LET ME OUT!" Yusuke's voice yelled again.
"SILENCE!" Hiei shouted, throwing his bowl of Lucky Charms© at the wall. It splattered and made a huge mess. Upon seeing said mess, Hiei squealed with glee.
"I made a mess!" Hiei boasted, beaming. Kurama walked to the wall where the bowl had hit and knocked lightly.
"Yu-Yusuke? Are you in there?" he asked tentatively.
Yusuke gasped loudly, "I don't know!"
Frowning, Kurama put an expert ear up to the wall. After a few seconds, he screamed in pain and leapt back, and Yusuke's horrible singing could be heard.
"Oh, I'm stuck inside this wa-all, HEY! They're gonna get me o-out, HEY!"
Hiei covered his ears like a child. "Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" he pleaded.
"Spirit Gun!" Yusuke yelled randomly, blasting a hole in the wall. "I'm free!"
Kurama noticed a strange, purple haze clouding the air inside his kitchen wall.
"Bloody hell . . ." he gazed in awe at the smoke. He turned back to his friends. He considered it safe to call them officially high. They were staring at each other, as they had been since Yusuke had announced his freedom.
"What are you two . . .?" Kurama trailed off. He didn't even want to know.
Suddenly, Hiei and Yusuke spontaneously burst into song, "Born freeeeeee, as freeee as the wiiiiiind blooooooooooows! As free as the grasssss grooooooooooows!"
"NO! STOP! PLEEEEEASE MAKE IT STOP!" Kurama wailed, pounding his head on the countertop. Hiei and Yusuke stopped immediately, greatly amused by Kurama's new interest in self-mutilation.
Yusuke hopped up and down to the rhythm of Kurama's pounding head. Though Hiei, being more intelligent, decided to follow Kurama's example.
"Mine hurts more," he said quietly, startling Kurama and Yusuke out of their own antics. Yusuke yelped with pleasure, and Kurama gasped in horror. Hiei had his katana poised at his arm, cutting himself repeatedly.
"OW! Heh heh heh. . . OW! Heh heh heh. . . OW!" he was saying.
Kurama shook his head in disbelief, and snatched the sword from Hiei's hand.
"MINE!" Hiei shouted rabidly. He looked as though he would go on a killing spree, but suddenly a glazed look crossed his eyes.
They all stared at him for a moment, wondering what was going through that sadistic mind of his.
" . . .Her-her-HERBALLY ESSENCE!" he shouted, and did a dance. A strange, herbally essence kind of dance.
In the blink of an eye, he was gone. Kurama knew exactly where he was, and sighed miserably.
"Come on, Yusuke. We have to make sure Hiei doesn't kill himself," Kurama grabbed Yusuke's hand and dragged him towards his bedroom.
"I dun wanna~a!" Yusuke wailed, and began to cry.
Kurama sighed again. "Dol—"
"YAAAY!" Yusuke let go of Kurama's hand and ran for the bedroom.
When Kurama arrived in his room, he saw Hiei in his herbal essences pile, and Yusuke digging through his boxer drawer. This brought forth another thought.
"Hiei, how did you get my boxers? And . . . dear gods, why?"
Hiei stuck a hand down his pants and threw an herbal essence bottle at his friend. "My boxers were the portal to the herbally essence land!" he announced.
"Yeah, but then why use Kurama's?" Yusuke had an intelligent thought. Thus proving he was high.
Hiei stuck his hand down his pants again. "Read the label, colorblind mortals! Bwahahahaha!" he dove down into the pile of herbal essence.
Kurama stared at the bottle he'd thrown on the floor. Kurama used the kind of herbal essence that was green. It comes in different colors, and this one was orange. However . . . Kurama did not purchase any orange bottles.
"H-Hiei? Did you raid the grocery store?" Kurama asked.
Hiei surfaced. "No! My boxers supply me with green herbally essence! Your boxers supply the orange! Foolish mortals, listen to my words of knowledge! Chicken!" He dove again.
Yusuke then amused the other two with his impression of Kuwabara. He played the part brilliantly, by chugging a bottle of herbal essence. However, only Kuwabara has the skill level for that kind of stupidity. Yusuke began to choke.
Taking advantage of this opportunity, Hiei did a beautiful impression of himself, by tearing at Yusuke's hair. "You dare to drink the herbally essence? Spit it out! SPIT IT OUT!"
"I c-can't!" Yusuke coughed, and Hiei found that he could not rip out the hair.
Kurama just stood there, watching. Always watching.
"Why can't I rip it OUT?!" Hiei yelled in frustration. Yusuke smiled knowingly.
"It's a secret," Yusuke announced.
"TELL ME! TELL HIEI! For I am the Herbally Essence GOD!"
Yusuke burst into hysterics. "CEMENT!" he squealed.
Kurama's jaw dropped, and he considered killing himself on the spot.
Suddenly a knock at the door pulled Kurama out of his suicidal stare, and he got up to answer it.
"HELLO!" Kuwabara stepped in. "What's up, Kurama?"
"Hiei and Yusuke are high," Kurama's lip quivered sadly. He looked as though he might cry. Kuwabara struck a battle pose and ran to Kurama's bedroom, with the emotionally unstable fox on his heels.
Bursting through the door, Kuwabara shouted, "Where are the plants! Show meeeeeee!"
Yusuke beamed and Hiei burst out of his pile of shampoo, bottles flying about like fireworks. Kuwabara took a second to scream in horror, then fall to the floor as Yusuke tackled him.
"In the closet!" Yusuke announced.
Running up behind Kuwabara, Kurama defended his name. "I do NOT keep those! I'm NOT a drug addict!"
"MY CLOSET!" Yusuke and Hiei yelled at the same time. They all turned to stare at the little fire demon, who was on all fours on the floor and drooling like a scary puppy.
"Err . . . I don't have a closet . . ." Hiei admitted sadly.
Kuwabara turned and leapt out the window. "To the closet!" he bellowed. Kurama shook his head sadly.
"Why me?" he asked himself. "Why me? Why me, of all beautiful, intelligent people, why me?"
Hiei suddenly reached down his pants, pulling out what might have, at one time, been a plant. "I got one!" he grinned broadly.
Yusuke was busy building an igloo out of Kurama's white boxers, using a laundry basket to prop them up. He was doing quite nicely, too. Kurama turned his attention to Hiei, who threw the plant, planting pot and all. It hit Kurama square in the face, and emitted a stream of purple fog.
Kurama shrieked in terror, "Get it away GET IT AWAY!"
The plant rolled, with the help of its round pot, underneath Kurama's bed. When he tried to reach it, Yusuke bit him.
"Stay back! MY Fortress of Solitude! MINE!" Yusuke defended his 'territory' like a rabid wolf. Or something.
Hiei began to follow Yusuke's example. Though herbal essence bottles proved to be a challenge to build with, so he busied himself with massaging it into his hair. "Aah, such good times," Hiei smiled, a wave of nostalgia lulling him into a calmer state. Or perhaps that was the gas coming from the plant? Who knew?
Our big, orange-topped oaf friend suddenly climbed in through the window. "Hic! I got one! Hic!" he hiccupped his way into the room, having climbed up using Kurama's beautiful vines as ropes.
"Why does Captain Ugly hiccup?" Hiei wanted to know.
"ALCOHOL! . . . hic!" Kuwabara announced, his drunken stupor accenting the fact that he was not only high, but drunk as well.
"What did you drink?" Yusuke asked.
Kuwabara grinned dumbly. "Water!"
A silence swept the room. "Water is non-alcoholic," Hiei informed his idiot friend.
"Oh. Then I can stop hiccupping now?"
"Yes, Kuwabara," Kurama nodded slowly.
After a few more moments of awkward silence, Yusuke crawled back inside his Fortress of Solitude. "Mine! Dare you enter? NO!"
"Captain Ugly wishes to enter!" Hiei shouted. This sent Yusuke into a blind rage, as he leapt out of the Fortress of Solitude and attacked rabidly.
"Aah! I do not!" Kuwabara protested. Hiei laughed insanely and dove into his pile of herbally essence, not to surface for several minutes.
The mention of 'Captain Ugly' stirred fond memories in the kitsune's brain. Memories of Captain Pretty made him smile. The smoke emitting from under his bed was filling most of the room now. The perfect opportunity to become Captain Pretty once more.
"What am I THINKING?!" Kurama yelled, to no one in particular. "I'm no drug addict! I'm a good boy," he tried to convince himself that he was, indeed, a good boy.
"You're almost high!" Yusuke complimented. "Go you!"
"Am not!" Kurama protested.
"Are too!" Kuwabara joined in.
"Am . . . aww, hell with it! CAPTAIN PRETTY LIVES AGAIN!"
And so we leave our heroes, who are now drug addicts.
Is this anywhere near as good as PH1? No? oh well, I tried. And it was fun!
Flames and Torches