Advocatus Diaboli

A/N: This is not meant to offend person in any way whatsoever. If you cannot stand fics that deal with religion because it disturbs you, simply don't read it.

I myself am Catholic (or was…XD) and wanted to write something that could be related to satire. This tends to lean towards the darker side, but I made the first chapter "nice" for the purpose to get the reader comfortable with the idea and so on.

With that in mind, you are free to give your opinion about the fic, but please be respectful. Okay, enjoy!


"Devil is the biblical name for 'the evil one'. It is a creature that rebelled against God and is the cause of evil. It is also known as the ruler of Hell."

With a nod in approval of the terminology his son had defined, Nagare leaned into his large seat to relax his tensing back muscles. The seat was especially cushioned for comfort with purple silk material that was coated with the golden symbols of God. The armrests were of the same nature and color.

"Very well done," he eulogized with a small grunt. "Define epiphany."

He eyed his son intently as the boy gave a sigh, who had not bothered to conceal is exhaustion. The boy stood before his father in his usual school uniform with the Crucifix stitched onto the breast pocket.

First clearing his throat slightly to prevent it from cracking while he spoke, Hisoka took in a breath and glanced directly into his father's piercing eyes.

"Epiphany," he began strongly, "is the feast, which solemnizes the visit of the Three Wise Men to the stable in Bethlehem where our savior, Jesus Christ, was born."

Nagare continued to analyze his son's behavior. He noted Hisoka's fingers were fidgeting against the sleeves of his shirt. A habit he had developed when very bored.

His son gulped loudly a bit confused at why his father was continuing to stare at his figure. Had he forgotten something?

Understanding his son's perplexed appearance, Nagare sighed and placed a hand to his temple, rubbing it harshly. "The date of the feast, Hisoka."

Hisoka widened his eyes and faltered over his words. "O-Oh! Yes! Of course, Father. I am sorry. It is held on January 6th."

"Hisoka, do you wish to please this family and continue to continue its honor?" Nagare questioned removing his hand from his temple.

Hisoka nodded slowly, not speaking.

"Good. Then I demand you to comprehend and perfect the religion that you were so luckily born into. Unlike those ungrateful Mephistopheles, you were brought into a life of God and God only. Here, you have the capability to obtain God's knowledge and interpret the Bible. I do hope your indecorous temperament adjusts to my expectations. Is that understood?" Nagare asked fiercely.

With guilt and shame washing over his entire dignity, Hisoka bowed his head and whispered, "It was only a simple mistake, father. I—"

"There are no mistakes in God's laws! And in my estate you shall perform your duties as my heir properly!" Nagare shouted sitting upright.

Hisoka's head snapped up and he met his father's challenging glare. "What if I do not want to be your heir? I want a life of my own! I do not approve of all this learning and no time for enjoyment! Mother would have let me—"

Wrong word.

With a cry, Hisoka stumbled into the shelf of books, causing a few to topple off. Gripping his stinging cheek he rose again only to be met with his father.

Nagare's eyes tore through his flesh before they dimmed in their rage, offering a kind expression.

"Oh, son," he cooed gently, pulling Hisoka against him. "Please try to understand. With your mother in Heaven, you and your brother are the only precious things left in my possession."

Hisoka muffled a response into his father's dark vest. He pulled back and nodded an apology before standing and gathering his materials. He heard his father stand as well before beginning to exit the study room.


Hisoka did not raise his head from his papers. "Yes, father?"

"Don't run off. I've already told your brother to keep a closer eye on you. And do not attempt to pulverize him once again. Unless you want a consequence to follow that?" Nagare pressed, back to his stern manner.

Hisoka bit his lip before raising his head. "…Of course, father." Then with quick strides, Hisoka dashed up the stairs and down the halls to where his room awaited him.

Upon reaching the room, he noticed the door slightly opened. He gave a groan and used his shoulder to slide the wooden door completely open to get a glimpse of his large room.

Tatsumi smiled sweetly at him from his spot on a lover's seat, where the Bible lied across his lap. He, too, was still in his uniform. His was a bit more decorative due to his older age and position at the Catholic school. He taught Advanced History or something of that sort.

"Get the hell out of my room," Hisoka snarled, tossing his materials on a desk, ignoring if they were being damaged.

Tatsumi chuckled. "I see your punishment went well?"

"Ch'. It's better than the others are. But still, it comes to the point where I want to rip that damn Bible to pieces!" Hisoka threatened angrily ripping off his jacket.

Tatsumi raised an amused eyebrow. "Is that so, brother?"

Hisoka eyed him accusingly and removed his tie as well before undoing the ends of his white sleeves. "I thought I had restricted you from referring to me as that."

"It's true, isn't it?" Tatsumi asked watching Hisoka now struggle with removing his collared shirt. He sighed and stood up, gently placing a bookmark where he was supposedly reading and shut the book. Placing it on the small table in front, Tatsumi ventured over to his half brother and slapped his hands away.

Hisoka glared into his deep blue eyes.

Tatsumi smirked and undid the buttons. "You certainly need that mouth washed, brother."

Hisoka snorted and looked away in disgust. "They're nothing but hypocrites."

"And why is that?"

"Just look at them! Father says we aren't to have luxurious lives or pleasure yet he and all those other friends of his are permitted to do so? Tell me, does God damn them? I think not," retorted Hisoka pleased when he was able to slip off his shirt.

Folding Hisoka's clothing and tucking them into the drawers and closets, Tatsumi shot a small glance at the boy who was shredding off his shoes and pants. "Didn't you know?" he asked.

"Know WHAT?"

Tatsumi s gave a soft laugh. "Nagare is God," he teased.

Hisoka actually shot Tatsumi an amused look within his eyes. "I wouldn't be surprised if he was. He knows everything."

"That he does, brother. That he does," Tatsumi agreed.

"Tatsumi…" Hisoka began quietly, pulling on some looser clothing on. He placed on a more comfortable and suiting collared shirt before placing a pine green vest on. Tying it shut quickly, he slipped on his khaki pants and shoes.

Tatsumi placed Hisoka's pants away and took a seat on the enormous king sized bed with the famous clear silk curtains. "Yes?"

"Are you upset that I was born?" Hisoka asked nervously.

Tatsumi blinked. "No…What ever for do you ask?"

"Well, weren't you going to be the heir if I wasn't born?"

A sigh escaped Tatsumi as he removed his glasses and took out a handkerchief to wipe them clean. As he did so place his head in a downward position, strands of his chocolate hair fell over his eyes.

"Hisoka, brother," he explained gently, "perhaps I would have been the heir. But personally, I'm happier that I'm not. It may sound selfish, yet I would not want to be a child who was forced to cope with all of this pain and torture that you are currently experiencing. I also am pleased I could be a professor like I always wanted to become. And besides, I wouldn't have learned so much or enjoyed life enough without you."

Hisoka's cheeks began to grow pink. "I hate when you make those speeches," he admitted.

With a hearty laugh, Tatsumi stood and embraced his brother. "You're a rather brave boy, you know? You know I love you."

Hisoka gently returned the embrace before leaning back a bit. "If you loved me so much, you'd pretend that we never had this conversation and allow me to go to the gardens."

Shaking his head in pure delight, Tatsumi released Hisoka. "Alright. But if I catch you trying to go beyond the boundaries I WILL hunt you down."

With a raspberry blown to Tatsumi, Hisoka sprinted to his two door window and shoved the curtains aside. He placed his hands on the glass, not bothering to use the knobs, and impelled them to spring back, giving him a lovely view of the apple tree.

Tucking his Bible underneath his arm, Tatsumi cautiously watched Hisoka steady himself on the railing before making a leap for the branch. The boy's slipped and he plummeted downward.

"Oh dear Lord!" cried Tatsumi as he rushed to the railing and peered over.

Hisoka glanced up at him from where he had landed safely in a pile of rose bushes. He had a few scratched, but nothing that couldn't be taken care of quickly.

"Don't do that again!" demanded Tatsumi. "You almost made me suffer from a heart attack!"

Hisoka pulled a face at him. "Yeah, yeah, mother. I'm heading to the north side of the garden, okay? Don't bother calling me for dinner!"

With that, he ran off into the labyrinth belonging to the garden.

Tatsumi bid his brother farewell and was about to enter the room again when he noticed Hisoka's form sprinting towards a different direction.

"Oh…Don't turn to the right," he pleaded silently.

Hisoka steered right.

"Hisoka! Oh for the love of God! I knew he would try to run off again!"


Although not completely certain if Tatsumi had caught him venturing in a direction forbidden to him, Hisoka kept it in the back of his mind to take a course in which Tatsumi wouldn't find him. Well, Tatsumi could and would find him but it would take up quite some time. Hisoka always took that to his advantage.

Panting, Hisoka dug his feet deeper into the ground, propelling off into a much faster pace. He refused to get caught and receive a beating from his father or Tatsumi. With a final grunt, he leapt over a large bush and towards the more secluded garden.

Noting how many fountains and certain plants passed his way, Hisoka steered left and then right before coming to a halt, catching his breath.

With a look over his shoulder, Hisoka knew for sure that it would take Tatsumi five minutes to find him. Smirking, he allowed risking the time down to two minutes. He placed two fingers in his mouth and released a shrill whistle.

Creatures of the garden, pond, and trees shook about and then silenced. Within a few seconds, hoof beats met his ears.

A black stallion gave a low cry at his master's presence and came to an easy gallop, stopping when he was only mere inches from Hisoka.

"Hello, Lucifer," whispered Hisoka with glee.

His father was enraged at the name given to the animal, but could not force his son's mind to change despite the threats for a beating. Hisoka, on the other hand, found it appropriate. Lucifer was a stallion that obeyed no one with the exception of Hisoka. His pure black coat and mane also suited him. Though what amused Hisoka the most was the white mark shaped into a cross on the chest of the beast.

Lucifer neighed gently and tilted his muzzle forward, wanting Hisoka's hand.

Hisoka grinned and caressed Lucifer softly before kissing the point between his eyes. "Come, Tatsumi is going to find me soon."

As if understanding, Lucifer snorted and turned to the side, allowing Hisoka easy access to his bare back.

With a slight grunt, Hisoka mounted, gripping to the black mane. "Alright. Head towards the town. Hya!" Kicking very gently at the sides of Lucifer, the beast gave a shrill cry and pivoted forward, enjoying the run.

Hisoka gave a delightful cry when Lucifer made a fantastic leap over the wall that was hidden beyond the plants and landed on soft grass. From here, he saw a few vehicles driving on the highway. For once, he was thankful for no law against riding horses near the street. After all, it's not like anyone dared to speak to him.

With a snort of disgust, Hisoka caught a glimpse of his all boy school near his father's estate, or, more like, on the estate, and gated as well. A few miles from here were the girls' Catholic school.

Hisoka commanded his horse to continue on. Lucifer trotted down the grass until he reached a portion of a sidewalk path. The hooves against the cement made a pleasant sound to Hisoka's ears.

"Hm. I want to go into town today, actually," Hisoka mused to Lucifer. Never before has he ever been in the town, only admired the folk from beyond.

Lucifer's head shook as if protesting. Hisoka paid no heed and gave a kick to Lucifer's side edging the stallion forward.

As they grew closer to the town, Hisoka noted that his horse would indeed stand out. This wasn't the old times…this was the 21st century. Also, he was still technically on his father's land and he would have no choice but to allow Lucifer to be left here where he would be safe. Besides, there were other horses on the estate, chewing their lunches from the grass. He wouldn't be alone.

With effort, Hisoka mounted off and patted Lucifer's head. "You stay here with Father. I'll go alone."

Lucifer snorted and nudged Hisoka with his shoulder.

Hisoka shook his head, fishing out a carrot he took from the garden. Lucifer's eyes intently roamed over the treat and reached for it.

"Nah ah. You have to stay here though, okay? If I need help, I'll whistle, agreed?" suggested Hisoka now offering the carrot.

Like closing a deal, Lucifer neighed quietly, took the carrot and simply plumped down into the dirt.

Hisoka smiled and waved as he ran towards the welcoming people.


"Mah, this guy is so damn good!"

Watari grinned triumphantly and patted the man's shoulder with a sympathetic glance. "What did I tell you? Now, where's our money?" he demanded while thrusting his hand before the man's abnormally large nose.

The man grunted in irritation and stood from his seat, which was planted across from his opponent. He shoved his hand into his pocket and withdrew three golden coins.

With a raised eyebrow, his opponent asked, "Is that worth value? Looks like something from hundreds of years ago."

"Yeah, enough for what you won anyway. They're old and worth quite a lot," the man replied allowing them to slip from his hand and clutter into the other man's cupped hands.

Watari leaned over Tsuzuki's shoulder to examine the coins in his friend's hands. "Wow, very fancy looking. I expect you'll be playing against us soon enough?"

The man snorted and walked out the door.

Tsuzuki smiled and pocketed the coins, making a note to cash them in.

"Well then," he began soon as he stood up to stretch, "that was boring. Gambling sure becomes mundane after a while."

Watari shrugged and began heading out the door. "I suppose. But, you could always go into a fight today to get some money."

"Nah," Tsuzuki sighed after considering it. "Not today. I'm too tired. Besides, we got plenty of money. Speaking of money, anyone else owe us it?"

"Not that I recall. Aw, shit. I have to return to work," Watari said, checking at his watch. He noticed his hair falling gently upon it and had to wave it out of the way a couple of times.

Tsuzuki eyed him oddly. "I thought you had the day off."

"Well, I do. But I want to return to the lab. I'm on a breakthrough of a new invention," Watari proclaimed with obvious pride as they headed toward the darker portion of their city.

His companion smiled sweetly and warned, "You be careful not to blow anything up or I'll personally shove my shoe up your ass."

"I know you love me," teased Watari batting his eyelashes at Tsuzuki who burst out into fits of laughter.

Through all his years knowing Watari, Tsuzuki never could resist his friend's usual facial humorous expressions. His sister also enjoyed Watari's company when he visited.

With a cheerful sigh of recalling the halcyon days, Tsuzuki began scanning the area just to be cautious as to who accompanied them in this miserably area. He noted the usual pickpockets, homeless, gangs, and whores. Nothing new.

"I told you I don't have any money on me! Get the hell out of my way!"

Tsuzuki lifted his eyes and shifter them towards a darker alley where a group of young boys had cornered a smaller form in what appeared to be very fancy clothing. With an extra push for effort, he managed to catch a clump of sandy brown hair beyond the thick boys.

"Hey," whispered Watari, nudging Tsuzuki to catch his attention. "Looks like some rich kid…"

"How can you tell?"

Watari snorted and waved a hand in an impatient manner. "Well, from my point of view, his stance is rather…feminine? And he's much too lean to have been brought up here, don't you agree?"

Tsuzuki squinted his eyes. "I can't see him," he admitted beginning to approach the group.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

"Curiosity," replied Tsuzuki. He was near the boys within a few strides with his long powerful legs.

Watari hissed behind his shoulder daring to accompany. "That gang's a bad one, Tsuzuki. I've seen them before."

"Worse than me?" Tsuzuki asked innocently not minding that Watari did not respond. They both took a firm stance behind the group.

Clearing his throat, Tsuzuki was pleased when the five boys turned in alarm and glared at whomever dare to interrupt their fun.

A tall masculine boy showing a feint signs of a black beard raised an amused eyebrow at Tsuzuki. "…What do you want, pretty face?"

With a smile, Tsuzuki said, "Hello, my name is Tsuzuki and this is Watari. We were curious as to—"

"Wait. You're the Tsuzuki?" a smaller boy asked from behind the taller one. He appeared fifteen pounds overweight and had disgustingly thin hair that gave the impression that they were feathers.

Tsuzuki smirked at the boys' astonishment. "Why, do you know any other?"

"What do you want?" the tall one sneered.

"I was hoping a group of intelligent young men could aid me in searching for a friend of mine," Tsuzuki offered noticing the boys puffing with pride at the compliment.

Oh yeah, not a bright bunch, he thought hiding his chuckle.

A lean young man with dark hair tied back eyed him up and down. Tsuzuki allowed him to notice his finely built body, chocolate hair that most would kill for, and the brightest violet eyes every to be seen.

"What your frien' look like, eh?" he asked obviously high off some drug. Tsuzuki couldn't help but wrinkle his nose at the awful stench that perfumed the area from the boy's breath.

Tsuzuki hesitated, perfectly playing the role of innocence when he caught sight of the boy that was held roughly by one arm. Sparing a glance to Watari, who simply nodded in understanding, Tsuzuki clapped his hands in a mock of delight.

"Why, that's him right there!"


Tsuzuki pointed behind the boys towards the small form and managed to get a glimpse of bright green eyes.

Watari shifted uncomfortably when the group spared each other curious and doubtful looks.

The tall one approached them closely and crossed his arms. "Really now?"

With a nod, Tsuzuki responded, "Yes."

Watari groaned. Tsuzuki wasn't the one that possessed the brightest ideas ever concocted. He shrugged when the boys began to chuckle with a pure and heinous plan.

Tsuzuki noticed it as well and swore under his breath.

"We don't like liars, Asato," one chirped up, pulling out what appeared to be a dagger of a cheap metal.

Sighing, Tsuzuki ran a hand through his hair. "I supposed we wouldn't make good friends then. I love lying." And with that, he withdrew his pistol hidden beneath his waistband. He always thanked Watari for purchasing a coat that concealed the bulge.

The boys gave a startled hiss and gave him a deadly look.

"Ch', who wants to fuck around with a boy like this kid anyway, eh?" the fat boy snapped, ordering the other one adjacent to him to release their victim.

Tsuzuki grinned with generosity. "I knew we'd make an agreement." He fished into his pocket and withdrew a bag containing needles and a few bottles of liquids. "Don't get caught."

The tall boy caught it with ease and smirked. "Come on, boys."

They left without a moment's delay.

"My goodness," Watari laughed latching an arm around Tsuzuki's shoulders, "I can't believe how people act. They want to kill you then want to be your friend."

"I'm a very social person, is all," Tsuzuki insisted, placing the pistol back into safekeeping. He turned his eyes on the prisoner who was watching the larger boys leave.

Taking the opportunity, Tsuzuki leaned on a shoulder against the brick wall beside the boy, folding arms across his breast. "Hey," he said gently, cautious as not to startle the kid.

The boy's eyes widened at the voice and darted to him, narrowing in what seemed like rage. "I didn't need your help."

Watari's jaw dropped. "What's with you, kid? We just saved you a good beaten and virginity."

The boy suddenly cocked his head with a perplexed look at Watari. "…Virginity?"

"Yeah…You are a virgin, aren't you?"

The boy's cheeks flushed and jaw tightened. "That is NOT of your business!"

Tsuzuki, finally catching on, gave a laugh. "He meant rape, kid."

"Do not call me 'kid'. And what do you mean ra—oh…" The boy's blood rushed more violently to his face.

"Anyway, name's Tsuzuki. That's Watari."

The boy snorted and gave him an irritated look. "I already heard you proclaim that to the entire world, loud mouth."

Tsuzuki raised his eyebrow at Watari who was flushed with anger.

Hoping to calm the tension between them, Tsuzuki paused before inquiring the boy. "Um…What's your name?" he asked.

"…Kurosaki Hisoka," he declared with not hint of pride but shame.


Hisoka spun on his heels so that his back was turned to them.

Watari smacked his forehead in shock. "How…I mean…Don't…I heard rumors that you were locked in your mansion unless you're at school. How…out here…"

"Don't tangle your tongue up, four eyes," Hisoka snapped, placing his frail hands on his slim hips and facing them again. "I ran way for a while, got it? Unlike you, I'm not stupid and come up with GOOD plans." His head jerked to Tsuzuki.

Tsuzuki coughed uncomfortably before shoving his hands in his pockets as they fidgeted with the loose string that was shredding inside.

"…This is a pretty dangerous area, ki-er…Hisoka," he explained indicating to the locals.

Hisoka lifted his small shoulders in a graceful shrug. "So what?"

Watari was about to burst out but Tsuzuki beat him to it. "Perhaps you should stay with us? I mean, you probably might be hungry. I can take you out to eat or…You can come to my place if you need somewhere to rest or—"

"Are you asking me out?"

Tsuzuki blushed furiously. "What? No! No! I'm just trying to be friendly! Really!"

Watari snickered but said nothing further. He watched Hisoka grunt in disapproval and head back towards the dark alleys, strolling with the grace of someone who was asking for trouble.

Tsuzuki gave a disappointed sound and looked to Watari with a shrug. "I…Guess we better head back?"

"He'll be following," Watari assured Tsuzuki as they walked alongside each other.

"What makes you say that?"

Watari smiled proudly. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

His friend gave him a peculiar look before bursting out into a small fit of snickers. Tsuzuki rolled his eyes, and endured the laughter. Watari managed to relax his laughter and finally straightened out. A few moments later his grin widened.

"Really. Watch this….5…4…3…2…1…"

"Hey! Idiot!"

Watari shot Tsuzuki's a thumbs up and placed a mask of seriousness upon his usual cheerful features. The sight was almost unbearable from laughter so Tsuzuki looked away struggling to conceal a smile.

"Hey you!"

Tsuzuki narrowed his eyes continuing his walk. He did not slow his pace.

"Hey, you idiot! I'm TALKING to you!" a voice snapped, clutching to the back of his coat in a desperate attempt to halt him in his tracks.

Tsuzuki slightly adjusted his position to meet the jade eyes. "I do have a name."

"….I…I guess I'll join you, idi-er…Tsuzuki," Hisoka gasped, staring up at him. "Only because I doubt I'll be getting any decent meals when I return home. Don't think it's because I like you or anything."

Watari patted Tsuzuki teasingly on the side.

Tsuzuki ignored him, and smiled at Hisoka with warmth of compassion. "Of course. Now, unless you want to drag me on top of you on the ground, you might want to let go of my coat."

Hisoka blushed at the words and disentangled his long fingers from the soft cotton.

Tsuzuki patted the boy's head, who in response, attempted to bite him.

Within a few minutes after escaping the dark alleys, they passed apartments, a few homes and approached the clean streets flourished with restaurants, shops, people, and a growth of plants inhabited by all sorts of animals.

Tsuzuki gave a small tour about the area they were currently entering with the occasional interested grunts from their company. They headed off towards the food courts.

The three walked silently for a moment longer, Tsuzuki in the center with Hisoka on his right, when Watari began giggling.

"On top of you…."

With a start, Hisoka mumbled something inaudible to Tsuzuki and his lovely face behind his hair, walking a tad quicker than average speed. Tsuzuki eyed Watari critically.

With a slap on the arm, he asked, "What's so funny?"

"Do you know how wrong that sounds?"

Tsuzuki's eyebrows knitted together as he pondered on the thought. After a moment, he cursed and hid his own flushing cheeks by passing Hisoka in a much faster speed.

"Um…Let's go have some burgers, eh?" he stammered trying to regain control over his humiliation.

"Oh! Fries too?" chirped Watari coming close behind Tsuzuki with pleading eyes.

Tsuzuki grinned. "Sure. How about it, Hisoka?"

The boy raised his head slowly and slowed a bit down to glimpse at the pair of eyes watching him with a questionable look. He nodded in approval.

Only a matter of seconds later did he realize something. He paused and waited for the men to follow suit. They turned to him with that perplexed countenance. Hisoka cocked his head to the side and bit his lip in thought.

"What's a burger?"


A/N: ^_^ I wanted to make the first chapter rather "nice". The next chapters won't be so pleasant o_O;

Hope you enjoyed.

Again, review and I'll respond to them individually. ^_^