Felix is going crazy,

Oscar's filthy and lazy.

Felix doesn't know what to do,

Oscar's threatening to sue.

Felix just wants to clean,

Oscar can't stand it and is being mean.

Felix is wiping down the walls,

Oscar is stomping up and down the halls.

Felix has a bottle of Clorox,

Oscar has a drink on the rocks.

Oscar spills his drink on the floor,

Felix just can't take it any more.

Soap and water all over the carpet,

Oscar just wants to pitch it.

Bubbles all over Oscar's shoes,

Oscar's mad and full of rue.

Felix is cooking dinner,

Oscar's gambling like a sinner.

All their friends are playing poker,

Oscar's laughing like a joker.

Felix stumbles and drops his pan,

All over the kitchen the food lands.

Oscar grumbles from his chair,

Oscar is angrier than a bear.

Now the kitchen is in a mess,

They're putting each other to the test.

All Oscar wants to do is fight Felix,

All Felix wants to do is get sick.

Their friends can't bring them to rest,

Guess their life's just a big mess.

What do you do when you're this mismatched?

Guess there must be some catch.

Oscar leaves his sandwich on the table,

Felix is feeling totally unstable.

Oscar flicks his ashes on the ground,

Felix lets out a panicked sound.

Felix runs and gets the extinguisher,

Oscar screams that he's a vanquisher.

Felix sprays foam all over Oscar,

Oscar's feeling off his rocker.

The telly is on, the horses are racing,

Oscar is cheering, Felix is pacing.

And just when his horse is about to win,

Felix stops in the middle of his pen.

He just happens to be in front of the screen,

So Oscar's big race goes unseen.

Now Oscar is screaming,

And Felix's head is reeling.

They just can't take it any more.

Someone's gotta go out the door.

The window is wide open,

Felix is panicked and choking.

Oscar is shouting and flailing,

All the neighbours are wailing.

Felix is having an attack,

Oscar thinks he's a quack.

The world is turning and spinning,

Quite frankly no one is winning.

Their friends are at a total loss,

Guess they gotta be the boss.

Now Oscar's in a corner,

Felix is secluded at the burner.

Oscar is mad and yelling,

Felix is sad and telling.

Oscar's gonna kick him with his leg,

Felix just tosses up an egg.

Their friends can't get them to calm down,

Guess they gotta get one of them to leave town.

What do you do when you're this mismatched?

Guess there must be some catch.

What do you do when you're an odd couple?

Gotta get therapy on the double.

Don't know what they're gonna do.

Gotta do something with these two.

What do you do when you're their friends?

There's gotta be some end.

So what do you do when you're this mismatched?

Certainly, there's some catch.

So what do you do when you're an odd couple?

How do you deal with all this trouble?