You sigh as you head up the steps to your apartment. You've had a long journey, and you swear your briefcase gets heavier the closer to home you get. Despite that, you can feel the smile on your face go wider as well. Your latest case has you take a trip overseas, and while it's been a blast going to new places, learning about the differences in the legal system, and of course putting bad guys in their place… you miss home. Which is why when the case finished earlier than you expected you took the first flight back home.
Even though you remember the distance from the ground floor to your apartment, you tap your cane around just in case an unfamiliar object is in the way. You've face planted one too many times in your neighborhood to trust your memory. You neighbors leaving stuff behind irks you really.
Finally, you reach your door. Wearily, you fish for your keys in your pocket when you hear voices from inside. You idly twirl your cane around, ready to use it on the unsuspecting fools inside. As you plan out your entry and ambush on the robbers, you recognize one of the voices. Your smile returns as you hear Karkat speak loudly to somebody. He never did have an indoor voice. Your smile fades as you listen in on what he's saying though.
"GODDAMMIT DAVE JUST MARRY ME!"
You blink for awhile as you process what you hear your loving boyfriend said. Let's process the evidence once again shall we? You knew that he was looking around for a ring, try as he might to hide it from you. It's adorable how he thinks he can keep things from you. But you never once considered the possibility that the ring wasn't for you. Heck, if he didn't say who he was proposing to, you'd never would have guessed it would be for Dave. You'd have guessed Nepeta or Meenah. And maybe even Kanaya, as impossible as that one is. Then again, you've seen the rather palpable homoerotic tones of their interaction… though you would have bet cold hard cash on Egbert as the clear runner for the secret gay closet lover. Still, you've never felt that Karkat was lying all the times he said I love you. Even if most of the time it was in a roundabout way.
You mull things over for a bit, and you come to a conclusion. You take a deep breath, and test the door. It's unlocked. Then you proceeded to slam it open, garnering you the attention of everyone inside.
Let the proceedings begin.
SUDDEN PERSPECTIVE CHANGE TO KARKAT AND ALSO TIMEWARP TO A FEW MOMENTS AGO IN TEREZI'S APARTMENT
You set the box in the middle of the dining table, and open it for all the world to see. The world being you, Dave, and John at the moment. "SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK GUYS?"
John, ever the eager one, starts things off with a huge shit eating grin "Terezi is a very lucky lady Karkat. You picked a good Engagement Ring."
"Yeah, I gotta say, this is a nice piece of bling you managed to get." Dave said, examining it closer. "Not too extravagant so it distracts her from her work, but just distracting enough for everybody else."
"The Legislated engraved on the diamond was a nice touch." John added.
"THANKS, IT TOOK ME SOMETIME TO FIND SOMEBODY WHO WAS WILLING TO WRITE IT." You say proudly. You don't add that it cost you a lot extra and you're pretty sure you got overcharged.
"Why is it written backwards though?" John asked as he took the box and held it closer to his face.
"Obviously John so that it leaves a mark when Terezi decks a guilty guy." Dave said.
"Umm, I don't think Prosecutors are that hands on with dealing out justice."
"NO HE'S RIGHT, TEREZI LIKES TO ACCOMPANY THE INVESTIGATION, AND SOMETIMES SHE HAS TO DEFEND HERSELF. SHE LIKES LEAVING A MARK AT TIMES LIKE THAT."
"Wouldn't that cause problems with her superiors?" John asked, raising his eyebrows.
"YOU'D THINK THAT, BUT SO FAR NONE OF THE CRIMINALS EVER BROUGHT IT UP IN COURT, SO THEY JUST LET IT SLIDE."
John offers you the box back, and you close it and put it back in your pocket, shifting around in your seat to fit it in. Here you are, in your girlfriend's apartment, with two of your best friends just lounging around in the dining room. Terezi trusted you with her key to feed and keep company her pet iguana (you refuse to call it her dragon) Pyralspite while she's overseas with some case or whatever. You took this chance to let the guys in on your plan to propose to Terezi as soon as she lands, and showed them the ring.
"When is Terezi coming back anyways?" Dave asked, as he gave Pyralspite some more food.
"SHE SAYS SHE'LL LET ME KNOW, BUT IT SHOULD BE IN A COUPLE OF DAYS. I JUST NEED YOU GUYS TO HELP ME FINISH UP MY PROPOSAL SPEECH."
"Anything for our friends, right Dave?" John asked, nudging Dave, who nodded." So, what are you planning to say?"
"ALRIGHT HERE'S WHAT I'VE GOT SO FAR, LET ME KNOW IF IT'S GOOD OR NOT." You say, before taking a deep breath and you begin.
"WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME THEY CARE ABOUT ME, ON SOME LEVEL IT'S HARD FOR ME TO REALLY BUY IT. THEY CAN LIST WHATEVER JUSTIFICATIONS THEY HAVE FOR LIKING ME AND IT ALL FEELS LIKE BULLSHIT. IT'S LIKE, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? YOU CAN'T REALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THIS ABOUT ME. THERE'S NO WAY YOU ACTUALLY SEE ME THAT WAY. YOU JUST FEEL BAD FOR ME. YOU'RE TALKING DOWN TO ME LIKE I'M SOME SORT OF PATHETIC BABY WHO NEEDS TO BE CODDLED. OR YOU'RE JUST IMAGINING I'M WHATEVER WAY YOU WISH I WOULD BE, SOME PERSON WHO'S BETTER AND SMARTER AND STRONGER AND KINDER AND MORE VALUABLE THAN THE PERSON I REALLY AM. I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE I CARE ABOUT WOULD EVER WASTE THEIR FUCKING TIME ON ME.
BUT WITH YOU, IT MAKES SENSE. I GUESS. WHEN YOU SAY SOMETHING NICE TO ME, I'M LIKE... YEAH? OK? THAT'S COMPREHENSIBLE? I SEE HOW YOU GOT FROM POINT A TO POINT B. I CAN KNOW YOU THE WAY I DO AND THINK ABOUT WHO YOU ARE AND I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'D WANT SOMEONE LIKE ME BESIDE YOU. I DON'T HAVE TO WONDER WHAT'S MISSING. YOU'RE ON MY LEVEL. AND I'M ON YOURS. I BELIEVE THAT YOU SEE ME IN FRONT OF YOU THE WAY I ACTUALLY AM, FOR BETTER OR WORSE, AND STILL LIKE ME ANYWAY. SO EVEN THOUGH IT'S STILL HARD FOR ME TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF A LOT OF THE TIME, I BELIEVE IN YOU, SO I DON'T NEED TO.
SO PLEASE, TEREZI, DO ME THE HONOR OF MARRYING ME." You finish of by opening the Box and showing it to the guys.
Silence. Then Dave opened his mouth "Karkat, did you just in a really runabout way, and when I say runabout, I mean like a fatass NEET man trying to avoid everybody on their way home so he takes the long way home, except that the nerd got hit by a truck and died and reincarnated in a different world as a... I don't know what the fuck as, let's say a Bugbear, and he has to complete a world saving quest before he comes to life except when he does so he's on the wrong side of the planet and has to walk all the way over there again, reference Gurren Lagann?"
"MAYBE?" Drat, you knew watching non-romantic shoujo anime was a mistake.
"Dude, sick referencing skills, but uh, maybe tone down putting down your friends you know?" Dave said, shaking his head. "Putting yourself down is also minus points. I give it a C, C at best."
"Karkat, are you ok?" John said, putting his hand on your shoulder. "Do you need someone to talk to about your self-confidence issues?"
You shake off Egbert's oddly comforting hand. "I'M FINE I'M FINE!" Well, maybe one of these days you'll take up that offer, but one problem at a time. "ALRIGHT SO LESS ANIME REFERENCES I GET IT."
"I think it also ran a bit long?" Dave said.
John snorted. "Weren't you the one that rapped for a full half hour when you proposed to Jade?"
"Yes, but unlike what Karkat planned to say, everything I said was to the point and not a wasted sentence in the whole thing."
"HAH! THAT'LL BE A START!"
"Jealousy of my wordplay is just sad." He said, shaking his head again. "But like I said try not to go off point so much."
You sigh, then you get into position again and immediately shove the ring towards Dave's stupid face "GODDAMMIT DAVE JUST MARRY ME!"
"Short and to the point, I can respect that. Just uh make sure you say the right name when you do it for real." Dave commented.
"That's a good point Karkat, make sure you didn't do what I did on my wedding." John said, his cheeks coloring.
"I STILL HAVE NO IDEA HOW YOU CONVINCED ROSE TO FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT."
"For the last time, Roxy was drunk and about to fall over and I just yelled in panic!" John said back heatedly. You were about to question his denial when you hear a loud bang.
You turn towards the front door, and seeing your girlfriend walk in you swallow down the manly yell of surprise you were about to do (and not at all a girlish scream no matter what the other two say shut up). She closed the door, and strode in without a care in the world, looking as beautiful as you remember her.
Then you remember how good her hearing is.
"Guys," John whispered. "As long as we don't move she won't notice we're here."
"SHE'S BLIND NOT DEAF EGBERT! SHE CAN HEAR US!"
"Well NOW she can." Dave muttered.
Terezi, for her part, just put her briefcase down, made her way towards the dining room, and tapped Dave with her cane. Dave scrambled out of his chair, to be replaced by Terezi. There you are, in kneeling position with the box outstretched towards her, while John is staring wide eyed looking back and forth between you, and Dave is doing his best to act aloof and nonchalant.
"Karkat…" Terezi said softly.
"TEREZI I CAN EXPLAIN!" You started.
"No need to explain, you're obviously practicing for the real thing." She began, idly tapping her cane to the ground. "I knew you wouldn't cheat on me, so relax Karkat."
You just stare at Terezi's face. Her beautiful, cute face. She's a merciful goddess.
"Do it properly and I'll answer you properly." She said with an air of finality. She has that eager look on her face betraying her calm facade.
You stare dumbfounded at her, before hastily shoving the box towards Terezi and saying what you've been practicing to say.
"GODDAMMIT DAVE JUST MARRY ME!"
Silence followed, broken by the sound of Egbert facepalming, and was yet again broken by Dave after a few moments. "Dude, what did I just say?"
Terezi sighed. "Obviously, you're too panicked to do it right. Look, can you guys leave? I had a long flight, and I need to rest." She said.
You wonder if she included you as well, but better safe than sorry. You can the other two guys hurriedly gather your things before marching out the front door, Terezi slamming the door as soon as you clear the threshold.
The three you of you march on in silence to your respective rides, and your friends respectfully gave a quiet thumbs up of encouragement and gestured to call as soon as you got home. You wave to them as their car drove off, and you get into your car.
You don't immediately drive away though, you sit there silently, ruminating on where your life went right before it went horribly wrong. You smack your head a couple of times on the steering wheel for good measure. As you start to feel like you've got a concussion, you notice somebody messaging you.
You pull out your phone expecting condolences from Strider or Egbert, but you let out a gasp as you saw that it's from Terezi.
TEREZI: 1 B3L13V3 YOU'V3 B33N PUN1SH3D 3NOUGH, Y3S?
TEREZI: 1T'S 4LR1GHT K4RK4T, 1 UND3RST4ND YOU MUST B3 TOO D1STR3SS3D WH4T W1TH M3 B4RG1NG 1N ON YOUR PR4CT1C3.
TEREZI: DON'T G3T TOO D1SCOUR4G3D OK4Y?
TEREZI: WH3N YOU DO 1T R1GHT, 1 PROM1S3 1'LL 4NSW3R Y3S
TEREZI: GOOD N1GHT, DR1V3 S4F3, 4ND TH4NKS FOR PROPOS1NG TO M3 4ND T4K1NG C4R3 OF MY DR4GON
Your heart soared from the abyss it was in previously. You text back, and make your way home, the happiest you've been in your sometimes miserable life. Other than one idiot on a bike nearly hitting you and making you rant.
ANOTHER SUDDEN PERSPECTIVE CHANGE TO TEREZI AND ALSO TIMEWARP TO A FEW MOMENTS LATER IN TEREZI'S APARTMENT
You let out a long sigh as you slowly emerge from your bubble bath. That was what you needed to get all the stress out, and now you're feeling refreshed and ready for bed. Or you could play games until you fall asleep. Either or.
You take a moment to pet Pyralspite after you dress yourself. Karkat kept his promise as always. You daresay that she's looking more relaxed than under your care. Ungrateful lizard. Your momentary displeasure disappears as Pyralspite makes a soothing sound. You live another day my dragon. Yawning, you make your way to your room.
As you finish your bedtime nightly ritual, you notice that someone messaged you. Must be Karkat, you wonder if you're in for one of his long winded rants.
Short. Sweet. Just like Karkat. You do so love that man.
TEREZI: BE YOU BUT MUCH LATER
Much later, Karkat wowed and infuriated you by proposing at one of your trials, saying that you were both guilty of stealing each other's hearts. The judge threw you both out of the courtroom, but after making sure he'll be presiding over your wedding. You cackled all the way home, hand in hand with your love.