"Don't look down on me, you mongrel!", by Flere821

Originally posted on December 2nd, 2011

"Don't look down on me, you mongrel!" Gilgamesh roared, noble phantasms shot up into the sky like the King of Heroes was trying to rip the heavens apart. Being forced to put on his armour simply because of a mere child sniping him from afar had enraged him - not as much as the faker, but nonetheless a irritable annoyance.

Above, Nanoha gritted her teeth and avoided the barrage directly impacting onto her, but the power of the projectiles meant even a glancing hit or a close call meant massive damage to her barrier jacket. As she wove in and out she gathered power in Raising Heart, aiming to settle this with one attack; Heroic Spirits won't be stopped by anything less than her most powerful technique, and the rate of damage she's taking on in the meantime means she won't have another chance for a second shot.

With what seemed like the wrath of a angry god has descended, a beam the colour of sakura blossoms as wide as the entire area of Ryuudou Temple blasted into the Golden King. Only the blind of Fuyuki city missed the spectacle of the pillar of light connecting the heaven and earth, lighting up the night as bright as day.


Impossible, Nanoha thought frantically even as she poured every last bit of magic into Raising Heart. There's no way-!


With a shriek that she didn't know if it was from herself or the air being ripped apart, her Starlight Breaker was torn apart and a wave of energy devoured both the remnant of her attack and herself.

Down below, Gilgamesh cackled like the mad king he was.

"Despite being women and children, you seem to have quite a bit of power," Gilgamesh said with a sneer. "Feel honoured, mongrel, that I deemed you worthy of laying your sight upon the magnificence of the King. Take it with you as a souvenir on your way to oblivion."

Directly killing someone as insignificant as her using his personal blade is insulting, so he merely watched as the girl in white - he left enough of her to survive his attack - fell into the forest surrounding the temple, letting gravity do the job beneath his station.

It's only fitting now he is the one looking down onto her.

Onsen Trip (Parts I & II Combined), by Heroslayer

Part I originally posted on February 18th, 2012

Part II originally posted on May 26th, 2012

Shirou was having a panic attack. He knew that this situation was just asking for trouble.

His parents had come home from their vacation in Europe just in time for the Takamachi's onsen trip. That meant that Shirou wasn't alone at the house while all his friends were out of town. That seemed like a good thing to him. Maybe he could get Kiritsugu to teach him some Magecraft or beg one of the maids to teach him another recipe.

Unfortunately when Irisviel heard the word 'onsen' she got a smile that Shirou recognized. The next thing he knew he was wrapped up in silver wire and thrown into the trunk with a bunch of luggage.

A few minutes later he was pulled out as Kiritsugu managed to explain that the trip wasn't for another few days.

Shirou had used those few days to plan every single escape plan he could think of. However every single one of his attempts to run away from home and hide until the trip was over was thwarted by the maids.

So now he was at a nice onsen inn with his family and his best friends' family.

He was at an onsen with his family which included Irisviel and his best friends who were all girls.

He was doomed.

"Geez, I wonder if Miyuki knows that you're a magic ferret." Shirou muttered to Yuuno who was shivering on his head.

He had barely managed to get the ferret away from Miyuki before she had dragged Yuuno along into the girls changing room. Nanoha's older sister had been pretty upset that Shirou had kidnapped Yuuno again and it had taken every bit of skill and Reinforcement for Shirou to escape her and get to safety.

The older sister had been scarily adamant on keeping the ferret with her as much as she could.

"Anyways, I should be okay." Shirou finished changing and glanced out at the male side of the onsen cautiously. There were a few people in there that he didn't recognize but it was a public place so that was normal. "Dad should be keeping Mom busy doing… 'parent stuff' I think he said, so nothing should go wrong."

Even Shirou knew that that statement sounded weak.

Still, it wasn't like he could live his life in fear or anything. He just needed to relax a bit and hope that Irisviel would tone it down with the embarrassment now that there were responsible adults in the area.

Shirou's thoughts that everything was going to be alright were smote quickly by the dividing wall between the male and female side blowing up.

"There, now that pesky barrier is gone." A cheerful voice cut through the panicked screaming from the male side. Oddly enough there was no screams of terror from the female side.

When the clouds of dust and rubble faded, Shirou peeked over from his hiding spot to see a grinning Irisviel and a gaping Nanoha both wearing hardhats on their heads with towels wrapped around their bodies.

Behind them Shirou could see a passed out Suzuka with Alisa trying to revive her and a weird red head cowering in the corner. Shirou thought he saw dog ears for a moment but he dismissed it as shell shock.

"Mom, why did you blow up the divider?" Shirou twitched a little at the sight of his friends in towels. He had a brief moment of phantom pain in his head when he looked at Nanoha before blushing and looking away. "And where's Dad?!"

"Huh, oh. Your father is talking shop with Nanoha's father. Something about guns versus swords or something silly like that." Iris smiled brightly before quickly wrapping her son in silver wire and dragging him over to the female side. Shirou had hoped to use the brief moment in conversation to get away. Unfortunately, Irisviel had experience catching Kiritsugu when he wanted to get away so Shirou had no chance in hell. The only reason Kiritsugu could get away from Irisviel was because of Innate Time Control and the reality marble like ability to accelerate his own time just barely let him escape.

"As for the divider, well I wanted to take a bath with my son and the wall was in the way." Irisviel cheerfully explained as if she hadn't just caused property damage to a vacation spot, nearly maimed several people and just tossed her son at his female best friend.

"Ack!" Shirou fell on top of her but quickly pushed himself away. Though he hadn't meant to snag her towel on the way up. "No wait, Nanoha, I'm sor-Ack!"

"Shirou you pervert!" Cue Raising Heart to the head.

"Hehehe, another flag get!" Irisviel cheered at sight of Nanoha panicking over the knocked out Shirou now that she had restored her modesty. "Hmm, I wonder if we can find that blonde girl again. Can't let Nanoha hog all the attention afterall."

Yuuno would have made a comment about how all earth magic users were crazy but he both needed to be silent as there were non magic users around and Miyuki had snatched him from Shirou had and was cooing over him. The proximity of a near naked girl in only a towel had caused the little ferret to pass out form embarrassment.

What? He's nine. He's not ready for that kind of exposure.

The assault had been quick and merciless. None of the Knights had really expected an assault on their home. They had been so careful not to let their master be exposed, yet this one had somehow come across the information.

Zafira was the first one to go done. The Guardian Beast had been standing watch outside (read: napping in the sunlight) and he had been run down before he could even react.

Vita had heard the loud noise of her fellow Knight's defeat and rushed out to defend their house (read: yell at the guy driving a car so loudly near their house) but she too was no match for the attacker, though she did manage to dent the armor of the beast.

Shamal not generally a front line combatant was taken out by surprise when the attacker had come through the house wall rather than any of the doors or windows.

And finally Signum had heard the sounds of attack and the sounds of her fellow knights defeat and ran to protect their master. Sword in hand she was ready for anything.

Anything except a car smashing through the hallway and ramming into her. To her defense, she had managed to get up after that and see the assailant pick up her master. She managed to use her sword to push herself to her feet and yell at the kidnapper before a large silver wired fist knocked her out.

"I'm sorry Signum-chan," Signum though she heard her attacker speak, the distant female voice barely penetrating the pain that was caused by the impact of- something. "... But you are a tad to old to join us on this onsen episode. I'll be taking Hayate-chan with us though so you will hear aaaaall about it next week!"

Signum decided that she must have been hit harder then she had though, because she was obviously delusional at this point

Don't Mess With the Eye Candy, by Tabron

Originally posted on January 25th, 2012

Vita thought that dealing with Shirou was going to be rather easy. True, ever since the incident involving a dangerous artifact called the 'Holy Grail' Shirou did gain a rather significant power up thanks to legendary weapons known as 'Noble Phantasms'.

It didn't mean that Shirou was unstoppable, pretty much every TSAB official knew that compared to the likes of Nanoha (or Rin for that matter) he was pretty weak in terms of overall mana reserves. The fact that he problems even generating decent armor meant that he was stuck doing legwork on the ground or supporting form the back.

Vita knew though that Emiya had 'Rho Aias' - a seven layer shield, each layer comparable to a fortress wall and you had to 'punch through' all seven even though it manifested as a seven petalled shield - but even that had two drawbacks:

1. Shirou's prana (as he called 'internal mana') would be constantly drained while it is active.
2. Any destroyed petals transfer damage to the wielder (read as Shirou).

In other words, getting in close and smacking him in the ribs with Graf Eisen should deal significant damage to him even if he blocks with the only defensive Phantasm he has.
Works in theory, Vita found reality turning around and smacking her in the face with two shouted words which meant absolutely nothing...

"Rho Ferret!"

Only for Vita to realize that Shirou had thrown both his arms in front of her, his right hand open with Rho Aias traced, but in his left hand held a green eyed ferret which was waving his paws around in hasty fashion just before a Round Shield layered itself over Rho Aias, absorbing most of her attack making it so that only a few petals broke, and then caught off guard as Shirou threw the ferret at her face, which it desperately clung to with all it's might. She closed her eyes just for a split second to stop it from gouging out her eyes.

She felt a leg swept out from under her at the same time as someone grabbing her forehead, pushing her bodily to the ground in one fluid motion...

Vita opened her eyes as she felt the edges of swords against her neck. There was the ferret, perched on her stomach, with Shirou standing over her with Bakuya and Kanshou in his hands.

"Yield?" He murmered. Vita nodded. "Get off her, Yunno. She's fine." The ferret scarpered off and in flash of green light, Yunno appeared looking rather miffed. Shirou helped Vita up. "Not bad considering he hasn't been out of the Infinite Library much lately, right?"

"I was kind of surprised at you two did." Vita muttered, trying not to let something like 'beating a Wolkenritter in a spar' get to his head. After all it wasn't as if Shirou beat her by himself, now was it?

"Yeah, well don't expect me to help you again like that Shirou, I like being human with all of my organs intact, thank you very much." Yuuno sarcastically remarked. Shirou crossed his arms.

"I should have known that spending a couple weeks round Archer and spending all that time in the Library with Rin would wear off on you. You need to get out more." Shirou dispensed his opinion on Yuuno's new additions 'current circle of close associates and friends', Shirou was glad Archer couldn't stick around after the Grail War, who knows what that man could do...

"I remember the last time I left, I got caught up in something called a 'Grail War' all because of a well intentioned friend, and I still have nightmares." Berserker made Vita look like a D rank mage for crying out loud!

Before Shirou could reply all three of them felt a chill go down their spines, and turned slowly towards the source.

Stood there was Nanoha, dressed in her combat instructor outfit, Raising Heart in it's default gem-like state, wearing a smile which would have suited a mass murderer in a horror flick than any else. The three that were the focus of her wrath could swear they could see dark ominous shadows moving around behind her.

"Shiro Emiya..." Oh, this was bad, when Nanoha uses your full name you can tell she's mad. "What did I tell you about throwing your allies around?"

Yep, definitely mad, and when she gets mad...

Was the thought that the man responsible had, that is before turning his head so as not to look her in the eye.

"Um, 'not everyone has self-sacrificial tendencies as I have so I shouldn't do it'?" Shirou replied, sweat pouring down his face.

"Now then, time for your lesson, Shirou Emiya." By that time Vita and Yuuno was nowhere to be seen, using Shirou as a diversion for the 'White Devil's wrath. Shirou knew it was pointless to run, so he just stood there and let the wave of pink doom spread over him. His last thought was:

"Tou-san, have I become a hero?"

You Should Have Fetched Yuuno! Bad End?, by Tabron

Originally posted on January 28th, 2012

"What." It wasn't even a question that Shirou asked, it was simply a flat 'What.'

Of course, telling someone you met a week or two ago that the only way to increase the power of a Servant without resorting to human sacrifice was to do a 'prana transfer ritual' which is apparently another way of saying 'jump his/her bones' could cause some people to simply stare at you as if you just grew a second head, as Rin Tohsaka just found out.

She had expected Shirou Emiya to know about that ritual considering the fact that he seemed to rather friendly terms with the three female powerhouses (other than Saber his Servant) who turned up at the Einzbern mansion and proceeded to blow massive holes into it that obviously could only be done with A Rank Spells.

The reactions between the four females that have attached themselves to Shirou all have differing responses to her explanation:

The blond haired, red eyed one -Fate, if Rin's memory of the mad dash they did to escape Berserker by leaving Archer behind was right- was currently bright red, her jaw moving up and down in a rhythm one could set their watch to.

Nanoha, the brown haired one who seemed to be the strongest (or at least the most experienced with ranged spells) was also blushing but also trying to comfort Fate by rubbing her back, which seemed to be make her worse.

Hayate on the other hand had a Cheshire cat like grin on her face, all the while something eerily like 'fufufufufu' could be heard coming from her direction.

Rin did not feel sorry Shirou, the one she felt sorry for was Saber, she trying to avoid eye contact everyone, with a faint pink dusting on her cheeks.

It wasn't the first time Shirou was the focus of her ire, after all it was his fault that three mages that seemed to easily surpass her were here in the first place, it would have been easier to deal with if they openly mocked her but no, they had to slink around town doing as they pleased...

"Calm down that isn't the time for that." Rin thought. The three girls were pretty much useless now, even though they were strong enough to take at least three lives off Herakles, Godhand made him immune to everything that they had that could through except for Nanoha's 'Starlight Breaker' whatever that was, Rin refused to accept their explanation for it, and Saber's Excalibur.

Which made her worry about that Hayate girl, ever since she found out that Saber was King Arthur, she's been acting funny. Getting Saber to dress up in all kinds of weird outfits, getting her to act out certain comedy lines, groping...Rin nearly ended up with a nosebleed just from remembering!

"Enough fooling around, just jam it in all ready, Emiya!" Rin yelled, making everyone jump. Fate tried to say something but it just out as a stutter, Hayate pretty much threw herself across the room grabbing Shirou and tossing him onto the bed without caring for his exclamations.

It amazed Rin just how she managed to get them all to do as she said whilst maintaining her cold, distant demeanor. It wasn't as if she and Shirou were childhood friends or anything, she barely knew the guy...

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't fun for Shirou or the girls, it was *ERROR*

Shirou blinked, wondering just what the hell happened. He was pretty sure that Hayate had declared 'first dibs' and now he was here floating in what looked like outer space. Stars, planets, even the odd spaceship.

"What is this? I don't even..." Only to see a dozen or so distant stars flare brightly for a moment before being hit with shockwaves from dozen sun's worth of supernovas.

"Ow! Just what the..." His voice trailed off as the back drop of space shifted and warped into a very realistic impression of the grim reaper.

Black robe, scythe, glowing red eyes with a wide smile as it reached out, grabbed him and lifted him up to eye level where he found himself drowning in those haunting red eyes...

Only to be replaced by a large red dragon which proceeded to swallow him whole and he witnessed first hand what it was like to be digested by a large reptile...

Tiger Dojo

Shirou found himself wapped upside the head by that overly cheerful teacher who introduced herself before the Holy Grail War began as 'Miss Fujimura'. But for some reason she dressed in kendo gear and carried a shinai in one hand.

"You're an idiot Shirou!" She yelled. "Just because you're the focus of four lovey ladies romantic affections doesn't mean you can handle them all, you need a wingman!"
...Romantic feelings? What on Earth is she talking...


"It's amazing that Oni-chan's that dense that he didn't realize it until he died in the arms of his loved ones right?" For some reason that white haired girl who tried to kill him several time already was here as well.

Just where is this place anyway? And what was that about a 'wingman'?

"You're not the only man in the TSAB are you? Surely you have a male friend who you confide in, someone you could take with you on the anniversary of your father's death, Right?"

Why did that matter, he was dead right?

All that got Shirou was another wap on his head from the shinai.

"This a place which lets you go back to one of your save games to try to fix what went wrong, that is if you haven't screwed up in saving that is!"

I've saved plenty of people, dammit!

"Not that kind of saving, Oni-chan." It the the girl's turn to be hit.

"No breaking the fourth wall, apprentice! Only I'm allowed to do that!" Tiger yelled. "And don't call me 'Tiger'!"

What is she talking about?

"Pay no attention to that. It's time for a restart!"

Infinite Library

Shirou stood there looking at Yuuno, who was waving his hand in front of Shirou's face. Shirou frowned.

"What are you doing?" Yuuno had a look of relief on his face.

"You zoned out when you was talking about your dads anniversary. I know the two of you were..." Yuuno trailed off, he knew how much Shirou's relationship with his dad meant to him, after all Shirou wanted to become a 'Hero of Justice' just like him.

Shirou frowned, why was he getting the strangest sensation of deja vu?

"So, why did you come here?" Now Shirou remembered why he was here.

"I want you to come with me." Shirou told Yunno. Yunno blinked.

"Shirou, are you taking pity on me? Just because I don't go on dangerous adventures with you, Nanoha and Fate anymore doesn't mean I don't leave the Library at all you know. If it is out of pity, you'll be better off talking to Hayate." Shirou was annoyed but he kept calm, losing his temper now would be poor show.

"I'm not, it's just that you, Nanoha and Fate are the only ones who knew Dad before he..." Yuuno realized there was no need for him to be so uptight, Shirou was genuinely sentimental.

"I apologize, Shirou. It's just that my workload has been somewhat..." Yuuno gestured to the collection of what looked like junk. VERY very old junk. And a lot of it.

Somewhat ironic, considering that Yunno once joked about avoiding joining up with the TSAB to avoid all the paperwork that seemed to be finding Hayate's desk.

Shirou understood, he had generated quite a bit himself doing the occasional freelance job as well as stepping outside of mission parameters.

"I can't help you with those." None of them were 'sword' related or appeared to be any kind of bladed weapon, so Shirou's help in regards to those were somewhat limited.
"Maybe a couple of days off would help me. Thanks Shirou." Shirou smiled.

"Anytime, buddy."

Crisis averted?

A Thousand Years of Chasing Ideals, by Tabron

Originally posted on January 29th, 2012

The first signs were easily missed. After all in this world with strong enough Linker Core and more advanced medical technology than Earth one could easily hide or slow down the effects of aging.

So when Shirou Emiya still looked as he did when he was twenty five, where as Nanoha his wife and his friends reached thirty nobody really batted an eyelid, it was simply an everyday occurance.

But when Vivio Emiya his adopted daughter reached the age of fifty years, they had already noticed and yet tried to hide it. It was easy considering the fact that her dear 'Shirou-papa' had lost the vibrant red colouring of his hair due to over use of his magecraft. But still it pretty much plain as day to any of those that knew him as a child.

The man named 'Shirou Emiya' had not aged a single day.

The cause was easily traced to Saber, as long as she existed in this time frame avalon would not only keep her looking young but by extension because it resided in his body, Shirou would also benefit from the anti-aging affect of avalon. Coupled with the fact that there was still a jewel seed inside his body that was attached to avalon meant that it was impossible to remove. But the jewel seed itself was partially responsible, as the decades passed advances in trying to regulate how much prana the jewel seed gave off at any given time appeared and those allowed it to respond to Shirou's ideals that had been so firmly planted.

The first one of their generation to die was sadly Nanoha, she died peacefully in her sleep surrounded by friends and family.

The effect it had made Shirou somewhat of an outcast even to his own family. After all, people start asking questions which can't be answered properly when they find out that a hundred and two year old man with several grandchildren and a couple of great grandchildren barely looks twenty five. Shirou responded by slowly cutting himself off not just from his own family but that of his friends, pouring himself into those ideals that governed most of his life.

Saber had agreed to disappear from this time when Rin, her 'master' stopped supplying her with prana either by choice or by death. Considering at this time Rin was pushing a hundred and two, not far behind Shirou (or Nanoha for that matter), most people expected it to be only a short matter of time.

Alas fate had other plans. As a last favor to Rin -no command seal used- Saber tracked down Shirou. She found him as a hollow shell of the man he used be, like his father he had turned his mind into steel.

He stared at her with same eyes his father did during the fourth war, completely devoid of emotion.

Part of her knew that under normal circumstances he would have never wanted this for himself, after all he raised a family with tender and loving care and had even fought against a bitter future version of himself who detested the path his ideals and beliefs led him down.

Killing him here, whilst they stood in silence staring at each other upon a hill in a middle of a wasteland as the sun set would have been a mercy.

...And yet, even though it was her fault that he was like this she could not bear to lift her sword against him. There was only one way for her to deal with this situation and time was running short.

"Shirou Emiya, would be my master?" She did not need to hear the quiet reply to her question as the familar blade of rulebreaker came down upon her.

Shirou Emiya had been known by many names, some flattered him whilst others scorned, others made jokes at his expense whilst others held him in high esteem, he was even made a patron saint in honor of his role in raising 'the second coming of the Saint Kaiser'.

And now he was known as 'The Immortal Knight', constantly moving from disaster to other, from hunting down one megalomanic to other, trying to stop any wars from starting all while trying to save everybody.

Through it all Saber stood at his side, always lending assistance even when he pretended he didn't need it. She could only support him as she watched him being kept alive by the same ideals, the same beliefs that had very nearly broken him, knowing full well that no matter how long it took, Shirou Emiya would never completely recover due to one inescapable fact...

His body was made of blades, and his heart was made of glass...

The Reason Why Shirou's Harem Stopped at Three..., by Tabron

Originally posted on February 2nd, 2012

Chrono stared at the spar/duel/no holds barred beat down that was happening in front of him. Yuuno was sitting next to him, straining at trying to stop the attacks from Nanoha, Fate and Hayate from hitting something they shouldn't or too hard against the sides. They had just finishing repairing this particular training room just yesterday after Nanoha and Fate trashed it.

"Just why are the two of them fighting the newbie, Yuuno?" Chrono asked.

Yuuno smiled, while rubbing the back of his neck.

"Well, apparently Hayate expressed interest in Shirou." Chrono understood that, after all Shirou did get caught up in the Book of Darkness incident. It didn't explain why the two Aces were trying their hardest at beating her up though. "So Nanoha and Fate challenged Hayate to a two on one fight." Yuuno explained.

"Then what are the Wolkenritter doing?" Yuuno just pointed over his shoulder, there sitting at a further distance from them was all of the Wolkenritter. Who all appeared to be passing popcorn around.

"Just what is going on here?" Chrono was confused, nobody was really telling him anything of importance.

"You know how Shirou has the tendency to go off on his own and do stupid things that get himself hurt?" Yuuno asked, Crono nodded. It wasn't unusual to hear about something along those lines from Nanoha or Fate.

"Nanoha and Shirou are childhood friends and she had promised him that she'll try her best at stopping him from hurting himself, and after the two of them made friends with Fate she expressed the same desire. Now that Hayate had expressed the same thing..." Yuuno went quiet, allowing a wave of his hand towards the series of three different colored explosions ripping through the training ground.

"They're just testing her out, something about 'not getting an accurate gauge of Hayate's abilities' or some such." Yuuno continued.

The 'match' ended, with all three of them covered in dirt and bruises and some damage to their Barrier Jackets. But all three of them were smiling. Chrono sighed, he found it frightening that he was used to the idea that Nanoha only made friends/family with people she beat up. Already there was a couple of rumors going around about that, including an 'unofficial' nickname for her thanks to Vita... This was bound to generate some more...

As they left Chrono asked Shamal about the match. Even though she wasn't a front line fighter she could make some very interesting observations. Which just made Chrono even more worried, because Hayate had placed extreme pressure on her Linker Core and was expected to rest up for at least a week before she did anything strenuous.

"Why did she go that far?" Chrono muttered. Shamal just smiled.

"That's because my Master is powered by perversion, Chrono." She walked away, leaving Chrono rather disturbed.

He was right about the match starting rumors, or at least one rumor...

'To have any chance at romance with Shirou Emiya, you need to be able to beat up Nanoha, Fate and Hayate at the same time.'

Because of that, no female even dared approach Shirou when they found out he was trying to adopt Vivio...

Maze Run, by Tabron

Originally posted on February 25th, 2012

The four of them stared at the white walls that had been erected in one of the training rooms.

It took them only a moment to realise that it was in fact a maze.

Yuuno stood at the gap which was labeled 'start' and was currently staring at Nanoha, Fate, Hayate and Emiya Shirou.

"Right, I want the four of you to run this maze." Yuuno said to them. Nanoha looked at him blankly.

"Why? What has this got do with training?" She asked.

"It's not actually training, it's more of a evaluation of how you handle... shall we say, certain situations?" Replied Yunno. "So each of you take turns, okay?"

Immediately everyone looked at Nanoha and said:

"I think Nanoha should go last." Nanoha's reply was simply:


Yuuno sighed, he should have known, especially considering her reputation for pretty pink beams of...'don't think about it, don't think about it!' Yuuno repeated inside his head, he didn't need a flashback right now...

Fate was first, her actions regarding the maze was expected, she followed the rules. No flying or slicing through walls even she got stuck.

Hayate on the other hand made it look like she going to follow Fate's example...only to quickly jink left and run around the edge of the maze to the finish.

Emiya Shirou followed Fate, only difference was at the moment he got lost...

He closed his eyes. One of the rumours that had spread in the TSAB was that he had a weapon for (almost) every situation. It was and wasn't true, it wasn't simply the weapons themselves that came in useful but the fact that Shirou could for a limited time/amount actually copy whatever skills and abilities the previous wielder had.

"Trace on." Trigger set, the image of the weapon firm in mind. Everything he needed was stored and pulled from Unlimited Bladeworks. Including the skills and abilities of it's wielder.

In a flash of orange prana, a red, twisted and double pronged spear appeared in his hands.

It once belonged to a Irish hero who killed his brother and son with it.

'The Spear of a Thousand Barbed Deaths' otherwise known as 'Gae Bolg'.

Normally Shirou wouldn't use it in combat for two reasons:

The weapon itself seeks blood, using it combat was too risky in terms simply losing one's sanity and going on a killing spree.

He had met the owner/user of Gae Bolg, and realised for all his legend, he was an ass.

But Lancer's athletic ability was all Shirou needed to scale the wall of the maze and run along the one inch thick top, jumping across the gaps to the finish.

Nanoha simply stood at the start, knowing roughly in which direction the finishing line was. She simply pulled out Raising Heart.

[Full set up, limiters disengaged] It was nice, Nanoha thought for a moment, the fact that she did not need to say anything for Raising Heart to do what she wanted.


Maze, meet Pink Beam Of Doom/Befriending(TM). Pink Beam Of Doom/Befriending(TM) meet Maze...

I think we all know what happens next.

Fate, Shirou, Hayate, Yuuno and Chrono (who turned up, worried that his little sister had gotten lost) stood there at the finishing line watching Nanoha stroll through the hole/tunnel she made as if she had all day to do it.

"I can see why you all wanted her to go last." Chrono muttered under his breath.

Claus and Shirou, by Yasanagi

Originally posted on June 26th, 2012

I just can't leave you two alone now, can I?" asked an exasperated Olivie Segbrecht.

"Shurr ya can…! I means… we had things under control!" replied Claus Ingvalt as he and Shirou stumbled along the streets in a drunken state, albeit a bit roughed up from the bar fight they had participated in earlier. "I wuz all like Hegemon Sky… super punch and stuff! Instant win, man! Instant win!"

"And you could have gotten someone seriously hurt in there. If I hadn't shown up and dragged you two boys out, I bet this whole town would have been turned into a crater probably over something silly!"

"It wasn't silly! Dose guys were saying stuff about how Shirou here can't sing! And when he sang shumthing, dey still laughed!" Although his speech was a bit slurred, the burning passion could clearly be seen in those mismatched eyes of Claus. "As a man and his brotha, I couldn't let it slide!"

Her left eyebrow twitched slightly. "… singing?"

"YEESH! Shirou, let's belt it out again!"

This caused the red head to look up in an unfocused state. "You mean-HIC! Ah… how did it go?"

It took a few seconds before he finally remembered the basic lyrics and started singing at the top of his lungs with Claus.

"Bier her, Bier her, oder ich fall um, juchhe!
Bier her, Bier her, oder ich fall um!"
Soll das Bier im Keller liegen Und ich hier die Ohnmacht kriegen?
Bier her, Bier her, oder ich fall um!"

Seriously, if Olivie ever found out who came up with that silly Belkan drinking song, she was going to smack them a new one.

And somewhere on another world and in the middle of another operation to gather Linker Cores, a certain Guardian Beast sneezed.

Nosebleed, by YeOfLittleFaith

Originally posted on April 13th, 2012

Fate squirmed madly and waved her arms around as her face reddened to a color similar to a lobster's shell. Her tongue rolled around in her mouth and pronounced a cacafony of uncomprehensible sounds. Her blush more luminescent by the second.

"F-Fate?" Emiya Shirou asked uncertainly. One could not help but wonder if the awkward edge in his voice was a result of Fate's panic, the fact that she was straddling his shirtless form on top of a bed, or that he was chained to the aforementioned bed with binds of her making.

Possibly all three.

Suddenly Fate's full body fidgeting halted as a cloud of steam made its way out of her body, and she unceremoniously flopped down and dropped her head on his chest.

"Shi - Shirou..." she whispered longingly against his flesh.

Shirou swallowed dry and managed to muster the ability to ask her what she wanted. "What... is it Fate?"

Fate shakingly unglued her forehead from his chest and lifted her gaze up to meet his while laying a hand on his shoulder for support. It did not escape Shirou how her lips were glossy and tempting, her cheeks were slightly flushed, her eyelashes fluttering, and small tears were gathering at the edge of her enchanting, brilliant red eyes.

"Teach me... how to-to-" she began, her mouth moving slowly, even as it changed into a pout mid way trough her words. She drew in a breath and prepared to complete her sentence, completely unaware of the deadliness of it.

"... make babies." she finished pleadingly.


Emiya Shirou twitched. His whole body convulsed for a single, deadly, painfully long moment -


Before over half the blood in his body left him in a rushed spray of red flowing from his nostrils.

Shirou was brought to the hospital in critical condition, and upon recovering conscience following a few very needed blood tranfusions, wondered out loud how he had ended up in a hospital bed to begin with. He obtained no response from his gathered comrades except a luminescent blush forming on Fate's face.

L#rd(?), by crystalwatcher

Originally posted on August 18th, 2013

The ground was solid as she struck it. The ground was always solid... a single constant in a life that had quickly degraded into a chaotic tumble that had seen the end of a long series of happy days. But she had known that this was coming hadn't she? One horrific fight after another, all of them trying their hardest to make it one more day, one more step towards their final goal? They had promised to follow and protect her with all their might. To help her attain that convoluted, twisted dream she had marched towards without hesitation, and in turn she had sworn to herself if not them that she would take care of the as if they were her own children.

She had only been nine at the time, so the foolishness of the silent promise had never weighed on her mind until recently. Until she failed to keep it.

Her knights were dead now, and for what? A book she couldn't even use properly? A book that still had forty pages to go until completion? If it was complete then she could resurect her knights... but now, incapable of forcing her shattered body to stand before the Golden King that looked down at her contemptuously all she could feel was rage at her inadequacy. Rage at the insufficiency of her body in the face of a Hero from the ages. The armed device she had built, using the knowledge she had unlocked from the book and her own research lay shattered and in pieces barely out of reach of the tattered remains of her arm, her red blood staining the ground around her.

"Is that all?" The question was blank. No more amusement from the King that had originally allowed her to live so he could see the completion of the book, no more contempt, or anything. It was as if he was talking about the weather. "I had honestly expected more of one that had been lauded as a Queen in the making... but I will admit you provided far more entertainment than your pitiful father did."

A growl rumbled out of the pits of Tohsaka Rin's lungs as she forced the battered remains of her mortal body to crawl out of the mud that rain around the two was creating. Pain from shattered bones were ignored, pain from shredded muscle was labeled as irrelevant. She forced broken hands to pick up the Tome from where it had fallen during the last failed attempt at defending herself had failed, a blood red triangle, filled with white light, burst to life at her feet.

"I-I'm not finished y-yet!" Her circuits, strained to the breaking point, and the linker core she had only recently discovered, nearly as fragile as glass itself, both channeling what little magic they had left to give to her hand. "I can still breath... I can still stand... Until I can do neither of those... this Master of the Night Sky is far from finished!"

She didn't bother focusing the mana at all: she was past having the capability of doing that. Instead she released it as an unfocused wave of force that broke concrete and bent steel. A wave that burst apart, barely ruffling the King's hair. Rin charged forward, snatching up a shard of what was left of her staff, swinging it with as much force as she could at the King, ignoring the fact that her shattered bones and torn muscles couldn't support such an attack, that it was meaningless to continue fighting.

Just this once she channeled that idiot she had seen jumping that bar all those years ago.