Boredom, thy name was Yang Xiao Long.

Being the life of the party sucked when there wasn't a party around.

Yang trudged slowly across the campus of Beacon Academy, and all around her were people doing things. With a sigh and a groan she lamented about how she used to do things. Things with people. People who she loved. People who had somehow all decided they'd rather be doing things today which didn't involve her.

Ruby was busy hanging out with Penny. The nerve of that shy and socially awkward sister of hers! Who did she think she was hanging out with people who weren't on her team? Who told her that she should go out and make friends with new people who weren't her sweet, caring, beautiful, fun-loving, intelligent, kick-ass fighter of an older sister? Certainly not her, that was for sure!

Weiss was studying. Or as Yang saw it, boning up on her nerd lessons. Leave it to the eggheaded leader of the Wiener Patrol to like her bookie wooks. Yang herself was a solid B- student without trying. Who needed to try anyway? They were here to learn how to kill Grimm, not teach Grimm how to do math. The only math Yang needed was the ability to keep score of how many of the little monsters she killed in a fight.

That left Blake. Her best friend. Her partner. Her sister from another mister. Blake, for all her abrasiveness, all her edginess, all her 'leave me aloneness'…

Was out with Sun. Sun! Sun! It was like a vampire had decided to go out on a date with the daylight itself! Blake should have been back in the darkness and loneliness of their dorm room reading erotic novels and brooding over the injustices in the world. That would be when Yang would swoop in, crack a few jokes, and convince the faunus girl to go out and have some fun with her. But no, no! Sun had to get there and do it first! That left Yang to have fun all alone.

I don't need anyone, she mentally griped. I'm Yang Xiao Long. I bring the party. I am the party. I don't need other people. Other people just water down the experience.

Like a zombie, her shoulders were slumped as she walked toward the campus airship terminal. Her steps were slow and clumsy. Denied the bright rays of sunlight which were her teammates, this tall and vibrant sunflower wilted and drooped in loneliness and boredom.

I don't need anyone. I don't need anything. All I need is-

She blinked, seeing an all too familiar face sitting at the station.

Jaune?

Seated by himself, the leader of Team JNPR appeared nervous with his hands folded atop his lap.

Yes! Social activity!

Yang had never moved quicker in her life than when she literally ran over to where the boy was sitting. He wasn't wearing his usual casual attire of jeans and a hoodie. Instead Jaune wore what she could only describe as a pretty nice looking blue collared shirt and black slacks. His hair was even combed, but even then it still appeared wild and untamed. That was fine. Yang was as untamed as they came, and it showed in her actions here.

As she neared Jaune glanced up and a look of pure horror grew on his face at the sight of the blonde bombshell bearing down on him. His arms came up slightly, as if expecting some sort of prank or attack, but none came as Yang skidded to a halt in front of him.

"What's up, Jaune?" she grinned, uncaring of how hard she was breathing after her brisk run. She glanced above at her bangs and blew up an errant lock of hair which had been hanging down her face.

Jaune blinked a few times, looking her head to toe before focusing on her face again. "Oh, um, nothing."

"You sound nervous. Hiding something? Porn? Is it porn, Jaune?"

An incredulous squint furrowed his features. "What? Porn?"

"I dunno. You just look nervous."

"Well I did just have a girl who's known for getting angry and hitting stuff run up to me for no reason. I think that would make anyone get kind of nervous."

Yang frowned and worked her jaw in thought. That was a good point. Usually after running that hard she would have punched something immediately afterward. Jaune wasn't one she wanted to punch. Ruby would kill her. Even if she wouldn't have, Yang still didn't want to punch him. Jaune was a good guy. A good friend. Even though they didn't really talk much. Neither did she and Blake, but Blake was the quiet type. Their friendship transcended mere words.

"Fair, fair," the blonde girl shrugged, and she spun around on a single heel before plopping down on the seat next to Jaune's. "So… whacha doing?"

"And who even buys porn anymore?"

She hummed. That was a good point too… Didn't people just get it all online these days? Not that she was a connoisseur or anything. Sure she'd done a little browsing here and there. Dicks weren't going to draw themselves on Professor Port's chalkboard, after all. She needed to get the anatomy of them down perfectly in order to leave behind the best art. Plus, you know, porn was hot. A lot easier to get off when you were watching it. Not that she'd ever tell anyone that.

"The lonely and desperate," she answered. "Which, by the way, I'm not!"

Little did Jaune know that she wasn't even discussing porn here. She didn't want him to know that she was bored out of her skull and only came running over here because she in fact was lonely and desperate. But what Jauney-boy here didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

"Um, sure?" he answered uncomfortably.

"So tell me," she pressed eagerly, leaning over and smiling brightly. "What are you up to? You can tell your old buddy Yang. Tell me tell me tell me. What are you doing? Where are you going? And why are you extra fidgety today?"

On cue Jaune's hands linked together once more, fingers locked and thumbs toying with themselves as they rested on his lap. Yang watched them with great interest before looking back up at his face. A face which had lost all emotion as seconds of silence passed by.

"Well, um, I'm actually going down to Vale," he explained. His uneasy body language transferred to his face where she notices the subtle little details of his nose wrinkling and his eyebrows raising. "To meet up with my sister. One of them at least."

Yang pursed her lips. Why was this cause for him to worry? If she had been meeting up with Ruby somewhere it would just be business as usual. Apparently that wasn't the case for Jaune.

"And is that a bad thing?" she wondered genuinely. Though she didn't know Jaune too well, she'd never been made aware of any sort of complicated familial relationships he had with his parents or sisters.

"It's not bad," he shrugged. "Just… well… Saphron is kind of a… um, she likes to joke."

Yang quirked an eyebrow. "I like to joke."

The comment forced a chuckle out of him. "Yeah, I know. You two would probably get along great. Let's just say that growing up I was always one of her favorite targets when it came to pranks and jokes."

Someone who liked pranks and jokes? Yang's earnest interest had been earned. She leaned back in her seat, folding her arms across her chest as she stretched out her back. "Sounds like a fun and intelligent girl," she half-groaned as she felt her muscles being worked. "I'm sure you and Ruby could trade war stories sometime."

Jaune laughed again. "Yeah. We've done that before." He glanced over to her, and the amusement on his face betrayed his next words. "You're terrible."

It was Yang's turned to laugh now. She could only imagine what Ruby had shared with him about their childhood. Nothing but good memories, she was sure. Well, good for the blonde girl at least.

"So… yeah," he continued. "It's going to be the first time I've seen her in actually a couple years. She lives out in Argus now so I didn't get to see her all that much before coming to Beacon. And you know, with me being in Beacon now and all, she's going to want to hear all about it. All the stuff I'm doing, the stuff I've learned, new friends, teammates, and…"

Jaune paused, and his face fell dramatically. Yang's brow furrowed in concern. It was like he just found out someone he cared for died.

"And?" she asked, waiting with bated breath for the boy to continue.

"If I'd found myself a girlfriend yet," he sighed, slumping back into his own seat. "And all the teasing, not to mention the attempts at trying to hook me up with a 'nice girl', that will follow."

"Oof," Yang blanched, her face souring as if she'd just bit into a lemon. "And you don't have a lot of progress to report on that front, do you?" she asked, already knowing the answer. She knew how things had gone down with Weiss, after all.

"That's an understatement," he agreed. "I could tell her the truth about how I made a complete ass out of myself with Weiss, or I could lie and say I haven't been looking. Either way I'll get a bunch of attention I'd really rather not have. I really don't need my happily married sister to go around trying to find eligible girls to hook me up with. Can you imagine anything more embarrassing than pity dates who know your family?"

If Yang had a mirror on hand she would have loved to see the look of utter disgust on her face at the very thought of that. Imagine Ruby finding a boyfriend and then deciding that her poor lonely sister needed someone too, and started recommending potential dates. Poor Jaune. She could totally understand why he wasn't too eager on meeting his sister today. Even if Saphron did sound like somebody who she'd absolutely get along with.

Yang blinked. A light went on in her head. Yes. Yes. All of the yes.

She'd just found the cure-all to her boredom woes.

Standing up and turning to face Jaune, Yang placed her right hand on her waist and cocked her hip. She stared down at him with a predatory grin, while he on the other hand stared up at her in confusion.

"Congratulations, tiger," she purred, basking in the innocent confusion still etched on his face. "You just hit the jackpot."

"Um… I did?" he asked uneasily.

She reached out with an outstretched hand, and Jaune eyed it warily before accepting its grip. Yang pulled him up onto his feet. He may have stood a good half a foot taller than her, but right now he shrunk under her intimidating presence.

"What you've got right here, Jaune," she explained as her hands came up to his collar, straightening out the nice blue button-up shirt he wore. "Is one bonafide, certified, fun-loving and ready-to-please girlfriend who'll knock the socks off your sister." Her nimble fingers moved up to his head where she gently brushed Jaune's own blond locks away from his face. She tilted her own adoringly as she stared up into his deep blue eyes. "Isn't that right, honey?"

Confusion had turned to shock. Shock turned to horror. Jaune took a step backward. "Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no…" he gasped. "No. We- we can't. No way we can do that. That's just… it's just…"

"Am I not pretty enough for you?" she pouted sarcastically. Yang knew she was hot. Yang knew even without meeting Jaune's sister that she would gawk in disbelief at the sight of her brother with Yang on his arm. Yang's eyebrows fluttered exaggeratedly, and her lip protruded ever so slightly in a sad pout. "Am I not good enough for your family…"

Jaune sighed and shook his head. "You know that's not true at all. And you know why this is a bad idea too."

Did she? If she did she couldn't think of it at the moment. Right now Yang was bored, and an unstimulated Yang was a dangerous thing. She needed excitement and entertainment. She needed things to challenge her. Yang was a thrill-seeker at heart, and this was going to be one heck of a thrill. Except for the fact that there would be no thrills unless Jaune agreed to them.

Yang took a step back as well, and her arms came to cross over her chest again. "Oh well, I suppose there's always the truth," she sighed dramatically. "You could tell her all about how you serenaded Weiss, got shot down repeatedly, and then deal with her going through the contacts list on her scroll trying to find a good match for you. So what if her friend's five years older than you? She's still seventeen at heart, right?"

The reaction on Jaune's face was so, so satisfying, and in that moment Yang knew that she'd won him over. A little no-risk consequence-free white lie wouldn't hurt anyone, after all. Besides, after today she'd never have to see Saphron again, and Jaune could always just play it off in the future as if they'd ended things amicably and were still friends. Easy peasy.

"So, um… you really want to pretend to be dating for today?"

"I do, I do," she confirmed, grinning happily, and yet somehow beaming even more brightly inside as she almost began to shake with excitement. She'd likely get a free meal out of this too, and if she played her cards right, maybe some fun dirt on the boy from his childhood which she could use for future funsies. "So, what are our plans for today?"

The next Bullhead was touching down, and in a few minutes would be ready for them to embark on for the ride down to Vale. Jaune and Yang stood ready off to the side, waiting for the announcement to board.

"Well, I- we're meeting her at a local coffee shop called the Brew Moon Café," he told her. "I have the directions here once we're down there. After that I don't know, she really didn't say anything specific."

"Mmmm, coffee," Yang mused. She wasn't exactly a coffee drinker like Weiss was, but she didn't hate it either. She could always get something loaded with sugar and cream. A sweet girl had a sweet tooth, after all.

"So if you wanna back out…" Jaune offered. Maybe he still wasn't convinced that this was going to be freaking awesome.

Yang would do no such thing. She had a long day of boredom she needed to kill, and when it came to killing things Yang was as much of a prodigy as her younger sister.

Linking an arm around his, Yang pressed her body against his, and she tittered with all the blissful vapidness of a real life trophy wife. "Jaune. Baby. We are going to have so much fun today! I can't wait to meet your sister! I hope she likes me!"

She genuinely giggled when she felt Jaune's body heave with a sigh. "Oh gods, this is going to be a disaster…"

Yang had no intention of embarrassing Jaune or causing him any sort of harm with their little stunt. However, if it did turn out to be a disaster, it would be an absolutely beautiful one. Yang Xiao Long didn't do half measures. She was going to be the ultimate girlfriend for him today.

Saphron Arc wouldn't know what hit her.

How did he get roped into this? Oh, right. Easy. His complete lack of success when it came to the ladies.

Jaune had been nervous enough today as it was. First there was the prospect of his motion sickness, which luckily hadn't acted up on the flight down to Vale. That was only the appetizer though, and the real challenge was meeting with Saphron and Terra. Now on top of all that, he was going to pretend like Yang of all people was his girlfriend? One energetic blonde girl was bad enough, now he had to deal with two!

His palms were sweaty as he walked side by side with Yang down the streets of Vale, and he couldn't blame the warm weather here either. His stomach was doing somersaults to the extent that it might as well have been his motion sickness. If Saphron managed to see through this, he was done. This would be way worse than getting teased or set up with one of her friends. To pretend like Yang was his girlfriend and to be called out on it would be the ultimate humiliation.

A glance to his right showed no signs of apprehension from Yang. If anything, the grin on her face told him that she was looking forward to this. Well, good for her! That made one of them.

"How much further?" she asked.

Jaune fished his scroll out of his pocket and tapped the map feature. Their location was a blinking blue dot, while the café up ahead was a solid red one.

"Another block," he sighed. He took a deep breath before letting it out again.

The presence of a hand on his shoulder caused him to jump, and a second later he caught sight of Yang's knowing grin. "Relax."

"Easy for you to say."

"Is it though?" she asked. Pressure on his shoulder halted him alongside her when she stopped walking. "I'm meeting your family for the first time, Jaune. This is kind of a big deal."

Jaune frowned. He couldn't tell if this was genuine on her part of if she was simply playing the role of girlfriend. The latter would be understandable, but the former? What did Yang care what his family thought of her? It's not like they'd ever see her again after today.

"It'll be fine," he reassured her. "Saph and Terra are really nice. They're… they're going to love you."

"Aww, that's sweet." Yang took a step back and placed a hand on her hip. The other brushed through her long blonde locks and flipped her hair back. "So? How do I look?" she asked expectantly.

Jaune eyed her up and down. Wearing her favorite attire of very short black shorts and a yellow tank top covered with a brown short sleeve jacket, Yang was hot. Unbelievably so. So out of his league that he wouldn't have been surprised if Saphron laughed him out of the café the moment he introduced her as his girlfriend.

Of course, he could never tell Yang to her face that she was hot. That would just be weird. "Fine I guess," he answered instead. Totally cool. After all, they were just friends.

Yang gasped and placed a hand over her heart as if she's just been stabbed. "Jaune! I am your girlfriend now!" she chided. "You're supposed to say, 'you look as beautiful as a sunset on a late summer's eve'. Or 'I could stare at you forever, but even then I would never get bored'. You know, cheesy crap like that."

Jaune physically cringed at her outburst. "Do girls actually like stuff like that?"

"Well, no," she shrugged. "But we do appreciate the sentiment. It's the thought that counts."

"That was so bad. Have you been reading some of Blake's romance novels or something?"

The blonde scoffed, obviously put off by the thought just as much as he was. "Heh, no way. Hers are all dark and moody with like, vampires and stuff. The guys in those couldn't sweet talk their way out of paper bag. They're all, 'I promise to love you for every moment until the end of all time. And then I will still love you. And then I will keep loving you'."

That explanation was a little too detailed for Jaune's liking. He frowned, and his eyebrows rose in disbelief. "...so you have been reading them?"

"Shut up! I was curious, okay?"

"You could be curious about how a blender works but you shouldn't go sticking your fingers in there."

Yang snorted a soft laugh. She flashed a smile as bright as the summer's sun, shaking her head softly. "Oh, sweetie, you're so funny!" she gushed. She reached down and snatched his hand in hers, linking their fingers together. "If your sister is anything like you I just know we're going to get along super great!"

She took a step and in no time was practically dragging him behind her. Just another block until they'd reach their destination, and then the main event would begin.

Jaune could hear his heart thumping inside his chest, and it wasn't just from the prospective meeting. Yang's grip on his hand was absolute, and this was the first time he'd ever held a girl's hand for so long. His was sweaty, and he hoped she didn't mind that. If she did at least she wasn't saying so. Her hand was also much smaller than his, and incredibly softer. That was an amazing feat considering that her fists were her primary weapon in battle.

"But seriously, how do I look?" she asked, and this time her tone made it clear that she actually did care about his response. "Will she think I'm dressed a little too casually? I didn't dress up like you, after all."

Jaune's semi-casual outfit clashed big time with Yang's hot pants and low cut top. On display were long, toned legs, a bare midriff, and cleavage which would tempt the eyes of any man. Or in the case of Saphron and Terra, any woman.

"Nah, she's not the conservative type," he reassured her. "And this is your huntress gear, after all. Lots of huntresses wear stuff that normal civilians would think is different."

Yang hummed in thought. "I guess. Still, I wish I'd had time to change into something a little bit more appropriate." She purposefully bumped her shoulder against his bicep. "Next time give me a little warning, Jaune."

"Warning? You came up with this idea on the spot."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Not like there's going to be a next time or anything."

The pair turned the corner, still hand in hand. Then he saw it. The quaint little coffee shop which was able to compete with the likes of Schneebucks through word of mouth alone. The Brew Moon Café.

The boy took a deep breath and turned to his date. "Ready?"

Yang grinned. "Yeah. Let's spark this Arc."

Jaune frowned. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know. It sounded cooler in my head."

He forced out a nervous laugh. "Right. So…"

"Let's do this."

Approaching the café and its outdoor patio in front of its main entrance, Jaune saw a pair of familiar faces seated at one of the tables behind a hedge of bushes. Blonde hair and blue eyes on one. Black and brown on the other. They sat next to one another, obviously expecting Jaune as their guest to be their third and sit across from them. Were they in for a big surprise.

Snaking his way around the line of bushes, Jaune and Yang stepped inside the patio area and approached the table. When Saphron's eyes met his her face immediately lit up, but as soon as she realized that he wasn't alone divided her attention between the two newcomers.

Jaune smiled at his sister and sister-in-law as they reached the table. "Hey, Saph. Hey, Terra."

"Jaune, it's been so long!" Saphron gushed, standing from her seat and moving to wrap him in a tight embrace. If not for his Aura he might have been crushed in his sister's vice-like grip. "Oh my gods you're huge! What have they been feeding you?"

He looked away in embarrassment. "I dunno. Protein?"

"Well it's working! You're nearly as tall as dad now!"

Maybe he was, but height was only one way in which he hoped to match his dad. When it came to sheer skill, knowledge, and experience, he still had a long way to go in that regard.

"Nice to see you again," Terra said, stepping in to give a much more subdued hug.

"You too, Terra."

The pair stepped back, and an obvious question was on both their minds. Saphron was the one to voice it. "Soooo? Who's this?"

Well, here goes nothing. "Saphron, Terra. This is my… girlfriend." It almost hurt to say the word aloud. "Yang Xiao Long."

He was met with silence, or at least with as much silence as could be had in an outdoor patio with other patrons. Terra's eyebrows rose in surprise. Saphron though… Saphron… her entire face changed. Her jaw dropped. Eyes widened. Shock would have been an understatement.

"Girlfriend?" she echoed, looking between him and Yang. Arc-blue eyes settled on Yang. "Holy sh-"

"It's nice to meet you," Terra interrupted, offering her hand to the other blonde. "Terra Cotta-Arc." She glanced over at the still malfunctioning Saphron. "And this is my wife, Saphron. I'm sure she'd introduce herself, but it looks like she's just a little bit-"

"Hot!" Saphron squeaked, interrupting her wife this time.

Terra cleared her throat. "I was going to say surprised." She stole another look at her wife. "We'll discuss this later, dear."

Well this had certainly turned awkward in no time flat. Jaune thought that he or Yang would have been the ones to make the first mistake, but nope. Leave it to his sister to insert her foot in her mouth. In front of her wife no less.

To her credit, Yang took it in stride and giggled. Jaune had never heard such innocent and melodic laughter from her. Was it all part of the act? Or was this how she would have reacted to an actual married person blurting out the first thing that came to their mind?

"It's okay. I get those reactions sometimes," Yang offered helpfully. She glanced down at her clothing. "I may not have dressed appropriately for this. Jaune kind of sprung this on me at the last minute." She playfully slapped him on the shoulder. "Such a dork, am I right?"

Jaune cast an evil sideways glare her way. He sprung this on her? Yang was either blissfully unaware of the look he was giving her, or blissfully laughing her ass off inside her head at making him the bad guy here.

"No, please, don't blame yourself," Terra replied graciously. "I think you look beautiful. It's just that some people," she said, giving a glare of her own at her wife who had by now shrunk back down into her seat. "Should learn not to gawk in public."

So Saphron had not only become the focus here, but the main offender too? Jaune would take that any day! As far as he was concerned this was a win! Not only had the notion of Yang being his girlfriend not been laughed off immediately, but his sister's potential teasing had been staved off by Terra putting her in the doghouse!

However, all good things had to come to an end, and as the rest of the them took their seats at the table, Saphron asked the next logical question. "So when did this happen, Jaune?" she wondered. "You didn't mention anything about her when we talked earlier."

He scratched the back of his neck nervously. "Um, it was a surprise?"

"I'll say! You do realize you're going to have to tell us all about this, don't you?" Her eyes shifted between both him and Yang. "I'll take anything. Please, someone, anyone, throw me a bone here!"

"No no, I mean, we don't want to make this all about us," Jaune insisted. "How was your flight?"

Saphron laughed. "Oh sure, and next we'll talk about the weather," she said sarcastically. "Nuh uh. I want dirt, and I want it now. Right, Terra?"

"I am a bit curious myself," the dark-haired woman agreed, resting her chin atop her interlocked fingers. "Are you a huntress too, Yang?"

"Sure am," she smiled.

"Then there must be an interesting story behind this. How did the two of you meet?"

Jaune felt his blood run cold. They hadn't planned for this. They hadn't planned anything at all. Unlike any real couple out there, they had no story of how they met. Nothing about what made them fall for each other. No stories period.

"Um…" he stumbled nervously. He glanced over at Yang, searching for help. Something. Anything. "Well, you see…"

"He threw up on my boots."

And like that, the conversation ground to a screeching halt.

Terra's eyebrows rose once more.

Saphron burst into laughter. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Yup, true story," Yang continued, not missing a beat. "So we were both on the airship heading to Beacon for the first day. I was standing there talking to my sister, and out of nowhere this blond kid comes running past holding his mouth looking like he was about to puke. Well, turns out he did. Right on my boots."

Terra's palm met her forehead. Saphron looked horrified. The sad part was… this had actually happened. It was all true.

"So after we get off he comes over and starts just apologizing like crazy and offers to buy me new boots."

Okay, so that part hadn't happened…

"And I mean air sickness is a thing, right? Can't blame a guy for getting sick. He did try to make things right too."

Terra wasn't the only one face-palming. Jaune had to hide his embarrassment at the memory of throwing up and getting some on Yang. Sure, the rest of the story might have been a fabrication, but the fact that he had in fact puked on her boots and earned his infamous moniker that day was beyond mortifying.

"After that the ice was broken and both being new to the school we kinda gravitated toward each other. We talked a lot. Hung out a lot. Our teams are both really close to each other. And it just… well…" Yang reached up to take one of his hands that was covering his face and brought it down with hers, pressing it onto the table's surface before interlocking her fingers with his. "It just kind of happened, you know?"

"Aw, that's sweet," Terra cooed genuinely. Jaune was surprised to see the normally reserved woman so taken with a romantic story like that. "And incredibly generous to even give him the time of day after doing that."

"Oh, what can I say? He's a dork, but he's my dork," Yang smiled genuinely.

But it was all a lie.

"You're the only guy in the world who could puke on a girl's boots and get her number," Saphron grinned. "You unbelievably lucky dork."

"I mean… I could say the same about you and Terra, couldn't I?" he offered up in a weak defense.

Terra chuckled at that. "He's not wrong, dear. There's just something so endearing about dorky Arcs, as Yang is finding out."

The pair shared a laugh at the expense of their respective Arcs. Jaune and Saphron both pouted at being called dorky, but then again it wasn't really untrue. Especially in his case.

"So, yeah, love at first barf," Yang continued, and it was obvious that she really enjoyed telling that little amended story of hers. "It even earned him a nickname with all our friends."

Saphron perked up at the mention of his nickname. No, surely she didn't mean…

"A nickname?" his sister beamed. "Oh please, please don't leave us hanging."

Jaune was regretting this decision more by the minute. He could have just come out and said it was all a lie, but that would still be more embarrassing than what Yang was about to reveal to them.

"Mmhmm," Yang nodded. She turned her attention onto him, and a devious smile disguised as a lovingly playful one sent a shiver down Jaune's spine. "Vomit Boy."

Saphron cackled. Terra chuckled softly. Yang's teeth flashed in unbound satisfaction at his expense. Jaune sank down lower into his seat.

"Vomit Boy," Saphron repeated, her chest heaving with laughter and a fist slamming down onto the table's surface. "Oh my gods. Jaune. I'm so happy you brought her along. I love her."

Right now that made one of them. And not the one who was supposed to.

A waitress came to their table with four cups of coffee, setting one down in front of each of them. At least now Jaune could have something to hide his face with. This little reunion with Saphron had not gone at all how he'd hoped. Yang was supposed to be there to prevent him from being embarrassed, not the cause of it.

She was having way too much fun with this.

Yang was having way too much fun with this. Who knew that Jaune's sister would be so much fun?

As she took a delicate sip from her hot drink, she gave her companion and 'boyfriend' a little glance. He was probably miserable right now. Oh well, that couldn't be helped. As a big sister herself, she knew how much fun it was teasing Ruby. The same rules applied to Saphron as well. Honestly, Jaune should have known better. Yang was bored, and this was an excellent cure for her boredom.

Honestly she found herself enjoying this little gathering more than she would have thought. Meeting new people, especially friends and family of one of your friends, was often awkward. You were an outsider to an established group or family. However, Yang felt no discomfort or apprehension around Saphron and Terra. It wasn't just that Yang was a social butterfly, but Saphron herself was just so laid back and easy to get along with. She'd even let it slip how hot she found Yang.

The blonde smirked to herself. Just one of many. She could hardly fault the woman.

"So, Yang," Saphron said, placing her cup of coffee back on its saucer. "Has Jaune let you braid his hair yet?"

Yang blinked. Never before had such simple words had such a powerful impact on her. "…what?"

"Oh. So he hasn't?"

The aspiring huntress found herself leaning forward, pressing her stomach against the edge of the table. "What are you talking about?"

"Saphron… please…" Jaune whimpered.

Lilac eyes were laser-focused on the woman across from her. Never before had she needed a conversation to continue more than this one. "Saphron. Please," she urged, wanting, no, needing to hear more.

"So, you know how you play with dolls when you're little?"

"Hey, this coffee is pretty good!" Jaune interrupted, trying desperately to derail the conversation. "Terra, isn't this coffee good?"

A valiant effort, but one which was in vain.

"Yes…" Yang grinned in anticipation.

"So my sisters and me, we just thought, what if we had a life-sized doll who could model all our real life clothes for us?"

"Oh my gods yes…"

"And we could do his hair…"

"Saph, I'm dying here," Jaune groaned.

Yang didn't care. Yang needed this. She'd buy him ice cream or something later to make up for all these sick burns he was suffering.

"And makeup…"

Yang was on the edge of her seat listening to the other blonde tell the tale.

"And he was so compliant. Such a good little helper. It was just the most fun ever. So maybe if you ask him really nicely…"

Yang's head slowly turned like some sort of creepy living doll in a horror movie. A maniacal grin curled up on her lips as she regarded the boy next to her. "He might just let me play dress-up with him?" she finished.

"Mmhmm," Saphron agreed happily. "He's always just been so eager to please, and you'd be willing to do anything to please her. Right, Jaune?"

By now Jaune had slumped down into his seat with his head hanging back. The boy appeared to be dead, and Yang couldn't blame him. He'd just been murdered by his own sister right in front of his own girlfriend.

Gods, Yang couldn't wait to tell Ruby about this. Ruby had never been interested in playing with dolls or dressing up when they'd been younger. Yang was sure she'd get a laugh out of this as well.

She gave his shoulder a few pokes to earn his attention, but Jaune remained slumped with his eyes closed. It took breaking out the big guns, a pair of them in particular, to earn the boy's attention.

Yang wrapped an arm around Jaune's and pressed her chest against it. She smirked when that finally woke him from his coma. "You'd model clothes for me. Right, Jaune?"

He glanced over weakly at her. Blue eyes which were so normally filled with life did indeed look dead today. Poor guy.

"Maybe we can talk about it later?"

In other words, an out so that he wouldn't say anything too incriminating in front of his sister and her wife. Yang decided not to press the issue. She was here to have fun, not send Jaune into a spiral of depression.

"Okay, honey," she sang sweetly, reaching over to ruffle his hair with her free hand.

She'd throw him a bone for being such a good sport about this. After all, she was here to talk him up, not humiliate him. Operation Girlfriend was still in effect.

"Well, maybe it was because of all of the stuff you did back then that made him turn out how he did," Yang said, turning her attention back to Saphron and Terra. "He's really actually…" she trailed off, faking a little bit of embarrassment of her own. "Quite romantic."

The compliment revived Jaune's corpse, and he sat up a little bit straighter. He still wouldn't look at her, and instead stared down into his cup of half drank coffee.

"Really?" Saphron wondered genuinely.

"Mmhmm," she confirmed. "There is another nickname I call him." She turned to gaze longingly at his face. "Lady Killer."

That made Jaune finally meet her stare, and her expression must have been contagious. Gone was the pouting, and instead it was replaced by a reddish tint on his cheeks as he fought to suppress a tiny smile of his own.

There it is, Yang thought triumphantly. Told you I'd be the best girlfriend ever.

"Awww," Saphron cooed, her pitch so high that they were lucky their cups didn't shatter. "Jaune, you dog. Why didn't you tell me you were such a lady's man?"

Yang smiled, though this was tinged with a hint of sadness and guilt. Because he's not. Just ask Weiss.

Still, that wouldn't make her fiction any less powerful. "He may be a goof, and a dork, and a vomit boy, but that's just what's so amazing about him. He's real and genuine. Flaws and all. Not putting up some fake version of himself like some boys do. When it comes down to it…" she said, returning her adoring gaze onto him. "He cares. He really genuinely cares. He's nice, and sweet, and a good listener, and he can even dance. He's like… all the most attractive things you can find in a guy."

That wasn't a lie. Too many boys, especially those around their age, wanted only one thing. They thought about only one thing. It wasn't their fault or anything, they were just immature and going through puberty.

Yang knew she was hot. She knew she had the assets boys drooled over. That was exactly why she'd never had a boyfriend. She had to be very picky about who liked her for her, and who liked her for her looks. So far she'd never found a guy she felt comfortable enough with to actually date.

"See, Jaune?" Saphron smiled, her face absolutely beaming with pride. "All the torment we put you through as a kid paid off! You totally know how to please a woman now!"

"I'll say," Yang said softly, and intentionally so. A moment later her eyes widened and she covered a hand with her mouth.

Saphron stared wide-eyed at her, and then at Jaune. "Jaune? Oh my gods!"

Yang glanced down at her shirt and grinned. Damn, I am so good.

Jaune leaned in closer to her. "Yang, do we really have to talk about that kind of thing?"

"So it's true!" Saphron shouted accusingly. "Oh my gods, my baby brother, my sweet, innocent baby brother…"

Yang hoped she wouldn't be accused of being some sort of home wrecker, not that Jaune had any sort of home to wreck. She'd kind of just dropped a big bomb here, though the specifics of it were never made clear. A person could imagine quite a lot with a few vague implications, and Yang could always 'correct' Saphron's misunderstandings if things got too bad.

"Well, at least he's in good hands," she finished, flashing a knowing grin Yang's direction. Saphron's hands folded neatly atop the table. "I like you, Yang."

Fake or not, Yang appreciated the acceptance from her fake boyfriend's sister. "Thanks. I really like you and Terra a lot too."

Yang had told many lies today, but that wasn't one of them. She did in fact like Saphron. Jaune's sister was fun and funny. Terra was more on the serious side, but she liked her too. Especially how she and Saphron acted together.

Saphron pulled out her scroll and glanced at it for a moment. "So Terra has this whole CCT technician conference thing this weekend. It's actually why we're here. She has to make this speech thingy coming up soon, and she's super nervous about it."

"Thanks for reminding me, dear," Terra sarcastically replied.

"But yeah I'm going to be in the audience for moral support and all that. I couldn't ask you two to tag along. Super boring stuff and all…"

"I'm sorry, is global communications boring to you, Saphron? Is the ability to speak in real time to your family on another continent boring?"

"I mean… all the technical jargon is," Saphron smiled weakly.

Yang giggled. They really were an old married couple. One in their early twenties or so, but yeah. Totally a married couple.

"Anyway," Terra continued. "What she's trying to say is that we'll have to be leaving for the conference soon. After that we'll probably be wiped out and just want to head back to our hotel room."

For some nice married couple fun, Yang mentally added.

"But you guys should definitely hang out with us again tomorrow," Saphron said. They really were doing that whole finishing each other's thoughts thing. Was that really what it was like to be married? "We could get lunch after Terra does her thing for the conference, and maybe go out and do something fun after. I mean, if you want, that is…"

A double date with Saphron and Terra? Yang looked over to Jaune. Interesting. Very interesting…

"Oh, um, that's a nice offer," Jaune replied. "But-"

"We'd love to," Yang answered instead.

Jaune's head whipped around to stare at her. "We would?"

"We would. We so would," she grinned back. "I would just love," she said as she began walking a pair of fingers up his arm. "To go out with your sister and her wife." She finished by booping him on the nose with the final word.

Saphron clapped her hands together eagerly. "Then it's a date! Oh I can't wait. I'm sure you have more fun stories to tell about my little brother at Beacon."

"And I'm sure you have more to tell about him at home."

"Trade?" Saphron offered.

"I thought you'd never ask."

No further words were needed as two blonde women conspired together. It was Terra who had to break them from their mutual enjoyment as she stood up and placed a hand on Saphron's shoulder.

"Hate to spoil the fun, but we have to go." She placed a number of lien notes on the table as she moved. "Yang, it was wonderful to meet you, and wonderful to see you again, Jaune. I suppose we'll be seeing you again tomorrow."

Jaune nodded nervously. "Yeah… I guess so…"

Saphron practically had to be dragged from her seat, and as Terra led her away she turned around and waved excitedly. "Bye, Yang! Bye… Lady Killer!"

The older woman winked knowingly at Jaune, causing him to shrink into his seat once more. As soon as the happily married couple got out of ear range, Yang burst into laughter.

"Oh my gods, Jaune, that was amazing!" she cackled, hardly able to speak as she laughed. "That… that… Jaune! I can't believe so many things right now!"

Jaune oddly enough didn't find it at all amusing. Well, not oddly at all, really. Yang knew that she'd done him both a disservice and a service here. On one hand she told his sister an embarrassing story about him. On the other, he had a hot girlfriend. One he'd even managed to get a little lucky with.

Oh, the things she did for her friends. Let it never be said that Yang Xiao Long was not the epitome of generosity.

"So, looks like we've got another date tomorrow," she said excitedly. "I need to find something nice to wear. And we," she said, poking him in the shoulder. "Need to work on our backstory some more."

They'd been lucky with the vomit story, but in order to be a more believable couple they'd need a lot more than that.

Author's Note: Special thanks go out to my buddy Paulternative for being the inspiration to write this story, as well as one of the key contributors in brainstorming it. Also to the rest of those in the Work in Progress Discord for helping out.

Here we are starting the new year off with a Yang. Originally I was going to hold off on releasing this story, but I just wanted to make that pun so badly that I decided to post it early. The plan is to make it a short story, only seven chapters, but they'll be some nice and lengthy chapters. So there'll still be plenty of good content to be had.

I've kind of developed an affinity for Dragonslayer lately. Ever since I posted that one shot Let Me Feel You Tonight, I've been in a mood for that ship. Little known secret, way back in the summer of 2016 before I'd published anything I was trying to decide what my OTP in the fandom would be. White Knight or Dragonslayer. The former ultimately won out, and I've really not touched Dragonslayer since. Until now.

Anyway, hopefully you've enjoyed what you've seen so far. More is coming. Expect the next chapter this coming Wednesday. Until then, please feel free to let me know what you think so far. How am I handling Yang? Saphron and Terra? I'd like to know.

As always, thanks for reading.