THE BRAIN & THE BEAUTY (The R version)

Before you, is the R version of my original NC17 story
The Brain & The Beauty; those of you that wish the original uncensored
NC17 version, here's the address for it:

It can also be found on the site Mistress Daria's Dungeon,
different strokes for different folks, be it NC17 or R.
The choice is yours.
I hope I did my best in making my creation safe for R standards
for the likes of all sites that bar NC17 stories, so here it is.

First things first: Daria is a trademark of MTV, whatever you
like it or not.

Jill Sobule's I Kissed A Girl is (c) 1994 Warner Tamerlane
Publishing Corp. & I'll Show You Publishing & Left Right
Left Music, sub published by Bug Music (BMI)
Neil Young's Sample & Hold is (c) Silver Fiddle Music (BMI)

Here before you, is my first Daria hentai of
shoujo ai yuri, so if some of you Daria stalwarts
believe that concept of girls love turns
you off, don't bother. And for those of you that remain.........
behold my dream pairing, since the days of Gystex' The Passion
Club. Keep in mind that Daria and the gal she's earmarked to meet
would NEVER do such a thing, but like they say, never say never....
after all, no one thought a Jane/Quinn pairing was possible, until
along came Pseftis' Mornings Ever After. And how can we forget
LyinTamer's forgettable Night Of The Storm--now THAT (the Daria/
Quinn pairing) is even more unlikely than the one I've got in mind.
One could say that my story is my answer to Night Of The Storm,
but without the incest--but, no...........
Just advice is what I need, not flames. They could help if I should
improve as I go along, eh? When it comes to love, almost
anything is possible.
Anyhow, my story is dedicated to Mike Yamiolkoski, Ruthless Bunny,
Roger E. Moore, Martin J. Pollard, Brandon League, The Waco Kid,
Chris Oakley, and all the other Daria stalwarts that gave their all, or
words to that effect.....
--Weenie Hut Jr.

1: ON THE FIRST DAY (A Bet's A Bet)

On the first day of the week, in the halls of Lawndale High, it was
business as usual for The Partners In Crime, a.k.a. Daria and Jane.
"Did you see last night's broadcast of Sick Sad World?" asked Jane.
"You mean the article on lesbians?" said the bespecticled cynic
known as Daria. "Somehow that don't go in well with the stuff we
all knew and loved--cheese fries, video game soundtracks, Sick
Sad World, and glow in the dark stars and galaxies."
"While we're on the subject," said the only friend Daria had, "I
bought up a lot of those stick on glowing stars. I got plenty, so
if you like, I can sell you a hefty quota for your ceiling--I've
already placed several on mine, and it's like sleeping under the
"Sounds like something Quinn would do. But I'll give it a stab.
How much?"
"For you, true blue, not a thing." assured Jane. "So can you
believe that lesbianism is universal among 48% among
teenage girls per capita?"
"They're all cuckoo," muttered Daria. "Any girl that loves
girls is some kind of nut."
"Like that Alison at the art colony--she almost turned me
into one, given half the chance."
"I remember Alison. She sure came close to seducing you,
if not bringing out the lesbian within you--if any."
Jane frowned. "If you had been in my shoes, she'd
turn you into a lezzie to a tee."
"Wanna bet, funny gal?" said Daria. "Me loving girls?
No way."
Not content with just irking her friend a bit, Jane asked,
"Does that mean you've never kissed a girl? Not in the least
even after you kissed Tom?"
Shooting her partner in crime her meanest look, Daria
stated, "There is NO WAY in hell that I am going to kiss
a girl--not even if my life depends on it, not even if I was
drunk, not even if I was paid to do so, not even if pigs
fly--NOT AT ALL."
"I hear and obey, Mon Capitane. So what do you wanna
do when school's out?"
Thankful that the change in subject had been noted, Daria
replied, "I know they've just opened up that new hotel with
the giant clock tower. They say it's on its way to becoming
the 4th tallest building in Lawndale."
Jane was surprised. "4th tallest building? Did they say what it
was called?"
"The Red Barchetta Hotel."
"We're there, girl."

Inside one of Lawndale High's ladies' bathrooms, Sandi
waited for her fellow Fashion Club minions, a copy of
the latest issue of Waif in one hand. From the hallway,
the sound of Lawndale High's wall speakers, came the
voice of Charles "Upchuck" Ruttheimer III broadcasting
the school's radio program show:
"Helllllllllo, all you dudes an' dudettes in Lawndale High.
Have I got a tune for all you gals that were born to be--
rrrrrrrrrrrr, fiesty--Jill Sobule doin', I Kissed A Girl."

Jenny came over and told me about Fred,
"He's such a hairy behemoth," she said.
"And dumb as a box of hammers,
But he's such a handsome guy".
And I opened up and told her about Larry,
And yesterday how he asked me to marry.
I'm not giving him an answer yet.
I think I can do better....

One by one, Sandi's fashion drones--Quinn,
Stacy and Tiffany--entered the bathroom.
"So, Sandi, what's the big dire dilemma?"
said Quinn.
"And why you called an emergncy meeting?"
said Tiffany.
"And why you said it was a state of
emegency?" said Stacy.
Opening her copy of Waif, Sandi stated dramaticlly,
"It's THE MOST dire moment in our long history. I,
like, just got my latest issue of Waif, and, suddenly,
there was a major article on lesbians; according to
the report, lesbianism is universal among 48% among
teenage girls per capita. It's even worse in Lawndale's
teenage girl community."
"EW!!" said Stacy. "And you think there may be some in
Lawndale High?"
"Brr," said Tiffany. "Lesbians in's SO WRONG."

So we laughed, compared notes....
We had a drink; we had a smoke,
She took off her overcoat....
I kissed a girl.
I kissed a girl.

"Just a moment!!" said Quinn. "You don't think there may be a
lesbian in The Fashion Club?"
"I hope not," said Sandi. Even so, her eyes still drifted from
one girl to another. "And yet, I still ain't convinced."
"It can't be me!!" said Stacy. "What girl in her right mind would
love a crybaby like me?"
"Can't be me, " said Tiffany. "People say I am so clueless and vapid."
"Well, it sure couldn't be me!!" said Quinn. "Not with all the guys I
"You don't know that," said Sandi. "I bet you're a bi on the side,
meanin' you love both girls an' boys. And I wouldn't doubt it, huh,
Quinn? You're S-O---------beautiful, you could make.....sigh.....
anyone, girl or boy melt, with your long red hair, your sweet mouth,
those entrancing brown eyes, your enticing face, and your gorgeous

She called home to say she'd be late.
He said, he worried but now he feels safe,
"I'm glad you're with your girlfriend,
Tell her 'Hi' for me."
Then I looked at you,
You had guilt in you eyes,
But it only lasted a little while.....
And then I felt your hand above my knee.

"Now THAT I wouldn't doubt," said Quinn. "But what of you? You're
just as sexy and gorgeous as me----and YOU never had a boyfriend."
Her eyes narrowing, Sandi demanded, "QU-INN, you casting asparagus
that I may be a lesbian?!?"
"Well, I don't know.....There's a lot 'bout you that neither me, nor Stacy,
nor even Tiffany know of....."
"And you're saying to that effect, that I never even kissed a girl?!?"
Quinn mulled over that before saying, "No........but the thought did
cross my mind......"
"Sandi never kissed a girl......," said Tiffany. "Imagine that."
"Hooboy.......!!" said Stacy.

And we laughed, at the world.
They can have their diamonds,
And we'll have our pearls.
I kissed a girl.
I kissed a girl.

"So, like, I never kissed a girl, big deal!!" said an irate Sandi.
"All right....I'll bet that I CAN kiss a girl, here and now. Better
still, to ante up the challenge, I'll bet my eyeshadow that I
can kiss the first girl that steps in here."
"But Sandi.....," said Tiffany, "not every girl here may be.....
well, you know."
"And what if you get sent to Ms. Li's office?" said Stacy.
Sandi thought it over before replying, "Then it'll be a small
price to pay for winning the bet. Agreed?"
"Everyone knows you don't stand a chance," said Quinn, "but
let's give it a stab. You got yourself a bet."
"AAAA-MEN!!" said Stacy and Tiffany.
But even so, Tiffany then turned to Stacy and murmured, "I
got a bad feeling 'bout that...."
"Poor Sandi....." said Stacy. "She's asking for trouble."
Stacy was so right.......for outside, a few yards up the hallway,
Daria and Jane were heading down that way.
In fact, they entered the bathroom--and right before the surprised
Fashion Club. In fact, you can imagine their shock upon seeing
Daria and Jane enter.
"Oh-oh," said Jane. "I sense trouble in paradise."
"A close encounter of the Fashionista kind," agreed Daria.
"Let's head to the next land of the talking toilets."
So Daria and Jane started to depart--
--and Sandi called out, "Daria, wait."
Surprised, Daria asked, "Now what? Don't tell me you spotted
some Fashion Don'ts on me and Jane?"
"It's more than that," stammered the brunette. Then, turning
to her friend Quinn , she hissed to her, "Quinn!! Don't you know
THAT is your geeky, brainy unpopular sister? And I should
kiss HER?!?"
"Th-think I don't know that?!?" said the redhead. "I don't like it
any worse than you do--but you DID say you'd kiss the first
girl that entered here--and Daria was the first."
Sandi was agahst. "Must I........?"
"A bet's a bet. For the sake of not only The Fashion Club, but
for Stacy and Tiffany."
For Sandi Griffin, it was a no win quandry. It was bad enough
to kiss a girl to prove her bet with Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany,
but the idea of kissing Quinn's geeky unpopular cynical sister,
a. k. a. Daria was even worse. Her darkest hour. And right
there before the rest of The Fashion Club. And the
brunette was torn. If she backed out, she would lose the bet,
not to mention her reputation. But if she kissed Daria,
she'd never hear the end of it not only from the rest of
The Fashion Club, but also from the other popular and snobby
and cliquey communties of Lawndale. Worst still, it might sever
the ties twixt her and the only friend she had--Quinn, who would
rightfully never forgive the brunette, when it came to her best
friend kissing her sister.
Shaking her head in despair, Sandi muttered, "What did I do to
deserve such a fate?" From there, she cupped Daria's surprised
face and said, "Like, forgive me, Daria.......I hate what I've got to
do, but I can't go back on my word to The Fashion Club--even if it
means risking my reputation."
"I take it you made a bet with them," said a nervous Daria.
Behind her, a quizzical Jane asked, "Hey high an' mighty Sandi The Griffin,
what chuu got in mind for my friend here?"
In reply, Sandi dredged all her remaining courage....before placing a big kiss
on Daria's mouth--to the shock of Jane, Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany. And
Daria as well.

I kissed a girl, her lips were sweet
She was just like kissing me
I kissed a girl, won't change the world
But I'm so glad, I - I kissed a girl!!

"Yipe!! I can't look!! EW!!" said Quinn.
"Oh my, oh me....!!" said Stacy.
"Unbelieveable.....!!" said Tiffany.
"Momma, hold my hand!!" said Jane.
At first, the feel of kissing another girl, Quinn's sister, a geeky
unpopular brain, felt revolting, but for Sandi, it felt so good, like kissing
a silken pillow, a sweet fruit, while the heightened sensations it brought
stirred her whole body to a peak level passion from within.

And we laughed, at the world.
They can have their diamonds,
And we'll have our pearls.
I kissed a girl!!
For the first time,
I kissed a girl!!
(And I may do it again!!)

For Daria, the feeling of another girl--not to mention Sandi, the
egotistical, snobby, cliquey, narcissistic head of The Fashion Club,
and Quinn's best friend--that felt atfirst repulsive, so it was no
wonder that the auburn cynic was trying to pull away, beating her
fists at the brunette, who not surprisingly refused to let go, much
less stop. But even so, not even a cynic like Daria could resist the
overwhelming feeling of kissing a girl. Not since that first kiss with
Tom Sloane, who was at the time, Jane's beau, had the auburn felt
so high on emotion, her body tingling all over, feeling passive, wanting
to fall limp and drift into a vast fog bank, high above the clouds.
There WAS one difference--while Tom's way of kissing was muscular,
Sandi's was soft and sweet, with the taste of strawberry, like dew
on rose petals. As such, despite herself and her better judgement,
Daria found herself kissing back, almost drawing herself close
to the Fashion Club brunette.

I kissed a girl!!
I kissed a girl!!

I kissed a girl; her lips were sweet,
She was just like kissing me.
But then; I kissed a girl,
I kissed a girl.....

Kissed a girl, won't change the world,
But I'm so glad,
I kissed a girl!!
Kissed a girl....
Kissed a girl....

All so soon, it wasn't until Daria and Sandi came back to
their senses, and broke off the kiss, stepping back, their
faces almost in shock. Quinn was shaking her head in
disbelief, Tiffany was muttering, "Oh, wow.....", Jane
was half surprised and half amused and Stacy had her
eyes stretched as wide as two wheels. Finally Sandi
pulled herself together, went to one of the sinks, pulled
a traveler's bottle of Listerine, gargled, then turned to
the others and demanded, "Well?"
"I wouldn't've believed it if I hadn't seen it," said Tiffany.
"WOOOO-------------OOOOW....!!" said Stacy. "You won
the bet...."
"Oh boy.....!!" said Jane. Then turning to her partner in crime,
she asked, "Hey Daria, how's if feel to kiss a girl?"
In a trance like way Daria replied, "What a long strange trip
it's been." Then shaking herself out of it, she went to one of
the sinks and gargled and washed her face before saying to
Jane, "Did I.....?
"Yup," said the artist.
"Shades of Jill Sobule--I kissed a girl...."
Staring at the least of The Fashion Club's members, Sandi
spoke crisply, "OK, I won the bet, so you two hightail it to the
cafeteria, and save me and Quinn a table!! Get going!!"
Nodding in reply, Stacy and Tiffany headed out the door
before Quinn turned to her friend and asked, "You OK,
"Couldn't be better, Quinn," was the reply.
"Sandi......I just couldn't believe you went through and
kissed a girl, not to mention my cous--er, my sister."
"Neither did I."Then, giving the redhead her most strictest
look, the brunette added, "Like, as of right now, I am calling
for another state of emergency. Now that we got what we
came for, I want you, Tiffany and Stacy NOT to breathe a
word regarding what just went on here. I've got reputations
to protect--not only for me, but also for The Fashion Club.
"Absolutely," said Quinn. "I'll get it through to them."
"Fine." Then turning to Daria and Jane, Sandi said, "And
that goes for you too. Like, I got a reputation here, and
the last thing I want is to lose it."
"We hear and obey, O most exhalted potentate," said Daria
in her deadpan way.
"OK, boss," replied Jane.
Nodding to each other, Sandi and Quinn left the bathroom--
though not before the brunette turned to the auburn cynic
and said, "Like, I didn't think brains like you could kiss."
As soon as they could, Daria and Jane went to each one's toilet stall.

Little did Daria and Sandi know that even while they acted like the
kiss they shared never happened, their troubles were far from over.
For in kissing each other, they had triggered long hidden passions,
if not the lesbian, if any, within themselves. Two girls, with
two different lifestyles, two different ways of life, and two
different personas, as well as two different reputations.
One cynical, brainy and unpopular, and one popular, shallow cliquey
Princesslike stuck up diva. For Daria Morgendorffer and Sandi Griffin,
far worse was in the works for them.........

Many hours later, Daria, Jane and Tom were standing on Dega St.,
observing Lawndale's 4th wonder--the 30 level (story) white stucco
and plaster high rise building known as The Red Barchetta Hotel.
Its base spanned four city blocks, there was a fountain located
between the steps that led to the main entrance, but the main
attraction was understandably the clock tower itself; its roof, made of
Spanish tile roofing, showed one huge bell, surrrounded by a series of
carillon bells. The clock face, on all four sides of the tower, had normal,
NOT Roman, numbers done in a University type font, with wrought iron like
clock pointers, and, in the upper part of the inner circle of the face, was a
second hand, in its own face, counting down the seconds, just like on a
grandfather clock type face. Across the front of the concrete canopy
which was over the driveway and the main entrance, were the words in
colored neon, on a black background: THE RED BARCHETTA HOTEL.
Not surprisingly, the hotel stood across the street from The Zen,
where Daria and co. stood.
"What do you think, Daria?" asked Tom.
"A bona fide Michelangelo," replied the auburn cynic, "and I don't mean
the turtle."
"I'd like to see any giant monkey climb THAT building," said Jane,
"It took a lot of money to build that, and just to prove," said Tom,
"that even Lawndale can rate a high riser building. You should hear
the carillon bells; they play a great Whittington melody."
"Turn again, turn again, Lord Whittington, Mayor of Londontown,"
said Daria.
At that moment, Brittany, Kevin, Jodie and Mack came on the scene.
"Well, if it ain't the four skinnies," said Jane.
"Ha ha, Jane," said Brittany. "So, what do you think of the new hotel?"
"It's got to be THE coolest building, anywhere in Lawndale, don't you think,
Michael?" said Kevin.
"Michael?" said a surprised Mack. "What ever happened to Mack Daddy?"
"You told me not to call you that, bro."
"Well, at least NOW you're showing sense."
"Hey, that clock's ready to strike," said Jodie.
It was true. The second hand was counting down the seconds, and then
it hit the number 60 (or was it 00?), and at the same moment, the
hour hand touched the number 4. Instantly the carillon played the full
Whittington melody before the huge bell rang out four times.
That was when Trent, Jesse, Nick and Max, a. k. a. The Criminales,
a. k. a. Mystik Sprial, along with its newest member--and Trent's babe--
Monique arrived on the scene and were booing and hissing at The Red
Barchetta Hotel.
"Hey, don't be a sour ball," said Jane. "For a high rise building, it's a work of
art by my standards."
"Why do you think we're sour balls?" said Trent. "That hotel just got rid of
another piece of the old neighborhood."
"I liked it better when The Kaboom Fireworks Factory," said Jesse, "used to
be there."
"That sucks," said Monique. "I loved the explosions from that place each
time someone there made a goof. WHOOMP-WHOOMP!!"
"Those firecrakers ruled," said Nick.
"So did their Roman candles," said Max.
But while the Mystik Sprial bandmates were bemoaning progress, Daria
was in a reverie.....for ever since she and Sandi kissed, she hadn't, from
time to time, been able to get the memory out of her mind. The feel of
kissing another girl, the feel of a girl's mouth, the silk, sheer creamy feel
of Sandi's mouth, her long jasmine scented brunette hair.......and the fact
they had pulled close, their bodies almost touching. So it was no wonder that
Daria felt hot and flushed----until she heard Tom call out:
"Daria? Hey, Daria!!"
Shaking herself out of her trance, the auburn said, "Huh? What happened?"
"What happened?" said Tom. "You looked like a zombie."
"I did?"
"What you do," said Jane, "step into The Twilight Zone?"
Before Daria could reply, a woman in a skirt and blazer stepped foward--
and it turned out to be her favorite aunt, Aunt Amy Barksdale. "Daria!!"
she said jovially. "How's my favorite niece?"
"Couldn't be better," replied the auburn somberly.
"Oh, what's wrong? Did your mother try to bribe you again?"
"No, let's just say I had a bad day. So what brings you here?"
"Believe it or not," said Amy, "I got a job--desk clerk and part time
concierge Amy Barksdale--" here, she gestured at the hotel--" of The
Red Barchetta Hotel, at your service."
"You work at that hotel?" said Jane. "How come?"
"For one thing, it could be just the place to date a fellow--and there's
plenty of them there at the hotel......who knows?" Then turning to
Tom, she said, "So that is the boyfriend you've been talking of to me right?"
"Yup," said Tom. "Name's Tom Sloane." He shook Amy's hand.
"Amy Barksdale, Daria's aunt and part time confidante."
For Daria, it was good fortune that her aunt and her boyfriend got along
well. When Amy started to depart, she said to her auburn niece, "Listen,
I got to get back to work and snare a hopeful fellow, but if you and/or your
family need anything here at the hotel or whatnot, feel free to call me."
"Uh......sure," said Daria. "Thanks again."

As luck would have it, Daria reached home ahead of Quinn, Jake and Helen.
Once there, Daria showered, dried and dressed before her sister and her
folks came home, one by one.
For the rest of the day and the night, everything went well, Jake ranting
over his pop and military school, Helen talking over a day in the life with
a case she worked with Eric and Quinn doing her fashion and dating ramblings.
But for Daria Morgendorffer, that day was a strange one at that when it came
to the feelings she had--for something else..... And the auburn hated it, didn't like it
and most of all, DIDN'T want it at all. And yet........
Why did she have those feelings? And just because of one kiss? Just one bet?
Why didn't Sandi call off the bet? For that matter, why didn't she kiss Quinn?
For the moment, the auburn was puzzled over why that happened.

And then late at night, the nightmares came.

Ye gads!! Daria and Sandi, the most unlikely two, kissed each other!!
What could result from that?!? True, Daria and Sandi would NEVER
do that, but even so, what if there WERE hidden feelings stored within
themselves for years, until a quirk of fate triggered them?. And what far worse
awaited them? The fact that Daria and Sandi were of different worlds....could it be?
Though they were the most unlikely sort that would NEVER, in any shape or form,
be in some kind of love. Yet behind the cynical and stuck up masks they respectively
wore, they were women none the less. And what if, be it an alternitive universe or the
universe as we know it, something like that was discovered? A hidden talent or passion?
Who knows?

Next: 2: On The Second Day (Yes I Am)