Title: Still Here
Neo/Trinity, angst, romance, post-Reloaded, pg
Summary: Being the One means people are constantly afraid for you. But in reality, it is you who lives in fear - in fear of losing all of those around you. You're indestructible. They're not.
Author's Notes: My first Matrix story. There are so many talented Matrix writers around, I feel rather intimidated! I hope you like this.
You think to yourself how much harder it is to be you sometimes. You know those close to you feel fear, fear for your safety, but, thinking about it logically, it makes sense that you are probably more scared than they are. Not about yourself, no, of course not, but you fear for them.
You are indestructible, or so they say, if not then you have amazing powers and are just blessed with good luck, but them, they could die in an instant. And where would that leave you? Alive and alone.
Most of the time you believe that it would be better to die right along with them rather than be left in the shattered world alone, without them, without her.
Trinity. You revived her once, you could do it again, right? Maybe. Maybe not. The fear still grips you. You still have nightmares you wake up from in a cold sweat, you arm securely wrapped around her waist, afraid to ever let go. She notices the extra pressure, the need you have to reassure yourself that she's still there, alive and breathing in and out beside you. She knows you have nightmares, she wakes up when you do, wraps her arms around your neck, talks to you, tells you she's alright, she'll always be alright as long as you're lying there beside her.
You want to believe her. You want to believe that it'll always be this way, that she'll always be beside you, and you her. But you can't. Your mind has become too cynical, you distrust everything but yourself, her, and your unique connection, nothing is safe anymore. You don't know who to believe, who to trust. She is the only constant in your life, and you cannot lose her. If you lose her, you might as well lose yourself.
Life is like a candle. One gust of wind, even a light breeze, eradicates the flame, kills the light. Death eradicates the heart beat, kills the shell of the body, but not the soul. Never the soul. But the soul moves on, waits somewhere if necessary. But you don't know if you could wait. You'd rather be with Trinity in death than have to live the remainder of your life by yourself.
You hope it doesn't come to that.
When you realised that Trinity had entered the Matrix, to save you, your world stopped. This was your nightmare all over again. Only this time it was real. You were paralysed, stuck in place as you listened to the Architect ramble on about choice, and how you had already made yours. Of course you had.
Trinity. How hard a choice could that be to make? But you know that you will have to suffer the consequences.
But you can do that. As long as you have her by your side. What nobody else seems to realise is that you being the One has no power unless she's right there standing next to you. You and Trinity are one and the same, and you know that you would cease to function were she not there beside you. So technically, it's the One and Trinity saving the day. When you made your choice, you chose love, personal gain, but at the same time, you saved as many people as you could.
Because the One without Trinity is no One at all.
You made your choice. And you're content with it. Because you know that you saved as many people as you possibly could, in a way that no one else appears to understand. But it doesn't matter to you. She understands, just about, and you understand. And you're both still here.
That's all that matters.