A/N: I have no idea where this came from. But I had to get it out of the way before I could finish the next chapter of 'Hero Worship'. It just popped into my head, I wrote it down and...well. Here it is. It's kind of strange...and it's mostly made up of dialogue. Enjoy!
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"So, I'm accidentally in love with you," Tai started as he waltzed in. Before even saying 'hello'.
"I'm accidentally in love with you. What a bitch that is, huh?"
"I'm not saying it again. You gotta learn to listen, Yama. What flavour chips are these?" he asked, taking one and biting into it before I could answer. "Mmm...barbeque," he decided after swallowing and reached for another, which he just managed to grab before I swiped the bag out of his hands.
"What the hell are you talking about you're in love with me? And those are mine."
"It can't be that hard a concept to grasp. And I told you, it's accidental. Accidental falling for someone."
"Is falling for someone ever purposeful?"
He shrugged. "How should I know? All I know is that this fall wasn't. It was accidental."
"Will you stop saying that?"
He shrugged again, took the potato chips back and threw himself unceremoniously onto the sofa. I sat next to him for lack of anything better to do and watched dumbly as he slouched and flipped the channels as if he was in his own home.
"Are you drunk?" I asked finally, to which he looked at me, scandalised.
"Do I look drunk?"
There was silence as he turned his attention back to the TV.
"I'm not," he informed me eventually.
"I'm really not."
"I said okay, didn't I?"
He grunted in response.
"So...what exactly does it mean, you being in love with me? Do I have to do anything?"
"Nah. You're fine."
"What was the point in telling me then?"
"Figured I might as well."
"How did you work this one out? Maybe you're wrong?"
"Nah. I'm never wrong."
I snorted with disbelief. "I beg to differ."
"Well maybe I am occasionally."
"How do you know you're not wrong on this one?"
"Dunno. I just know, I guess."
"Well, were you in love with me yesterday?"
"Can't remember. Maybe."
"God. I can't believe how crap at this you are."
"You what?" he said, his attention leaving the TV in favour of me again.
"If you're going to be in love with me, you'd better make a better job of it in future."
He stared at me for a moment before saying, "Okay. Whatever. You want to watch something?"
"Do you not think we should maybe talk about the love thing first?"
"Do we have to?"
He sighed dramatically and shifted himself round to face me, pulling his feet onto the sofa to sit cross-legged.
"Go on then," he said, flicking the TV onto 'mute'.
"Why should I go first? You're the one who's in love with me."
"Yeah. And that makes two of us."
I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not in love with me."
"Well maybe a little."
"You should still go first."
"I don't have anything to say."
"How can you have nothing to say?"
"Like this," he demonstrated by sitting silently for a few seconds. "You see?"
"You think you're being funny?"
"No. I just...don't have anything to say. I'm in love with you...by accident...and that's all there is to it."
"That's quite a big thing though, isn't it?"
"What do you mean 'what'? Being in love with your male best friend, that's what."
"If you say so."
There was a pause during which a possibility occurred to me that should have occurred as soon as Tai had stepped through the door.
"Is this a joke?" I asked, feeling stupid for having been fooled this long.
Tai frowned. "No."
He shook his head.
"A contest? A stunt? A prank?"
"It is. It's a joke, isn't it?"
"No. I just said that."
"Well I can't think of any other words it could be."
"Maybe it's not any word. Maybe I'm just telling you the truth."
"Oh yeah. Because that's so likely," I blurted sarcastically.
"Hey. I'm offended that you'd think I'd lie about something like this."
"Why? You lie about everything else."
"No I..." he began but stopped, seeing my expression, "Okay. Maybe I do. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm lying about this."
"Okay. So...say you aren't lying..."
"Which I'm not..."
"...Are you planning to do anything about it?"
"Not sure. I hadn't really thought about it."
"Do you not think you ought to think about it?"
"Dunno. What do you think?"
"I think you owe it to me to think about it."
"Because you've told me about it. And I'm going to have to think about it now and it will probably keep me up all night."
"You don't have to think about it."
"Yes I do. Just because you can ignore huge friendship-threatening things like this, doesn't mean I can."
"It's not friendship-threatening. How do you figure that?"
"It's potentially friendship-threatening."
Another shrug. "If you say so."
"I do. Which is why you'd better do something about it."
My turn to shrug. "You work it out. You got us into this, so you can get us out."
"I did not get us into this."
"Yes you did. You were the one who decided he was in love."
"I didn't decide I was in love. I told you already, it was-"
"...An accident, I know."
"There you go. So it isn't my fault."
"Well it's not mine."
Tai was suspiciously quiet for a moment before saying, "Well...I didn't fall in love with you all on my own."
"Are you saying that it is my fault?"
"How the hell do you figure that?"
"You're always there. Being all...attractive. It's really annoying, actually."
There was a silence as I tried to comprehend this. "So basically...you're blaming me for...what exactly?"
"You can't do that. It's stupid."
"It is. You should stop doing it."
"Being attractive. I just told you that."
"Well it's hardly my fault." I said, feeling a pout coming on.
"You're doing it now!"
"I just told you! Being–"
"Alright! I get it."
"Good. I'm glad we understand one another."
"But...what do you expect me to do about it?"
"Yeah. That's helpful," I muttered sarcastically.
"You think of something then."
"Okay. How about I go and smash my face against the wall until it's unattractive enough for you?" I made to stand up but found my wrist to somehow have become trapped in Tai's hand.
"I don't think that's such a hot idea, you know."
"Oh you think?"
"Yeah. Then you wouldn't be pretty."
"I thought you didn't like me being 'pretty'."
"I never said that."
"What did you say then?"
"No idea. But I wouldn't have said that. I like you being pretty."
"Oh. Okay." I considered this for a moment. "Can we think of a different word for it than 'pretty'?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes. 'Pretty' is a word you use for a girl. Or a pet bird."
"What would prefer I said?"
"Something that isn't 'pretty'."
"Hm. Alright. I'll put some work into thinking about that."
"I'll inform you of the results."
"So...are we done talking now?"
"We haven't talked anything through yet."
"Yes we have. We've talked through the pretty thing."
I passed my hands through my hair in a gesture of frustration. "You can't just expect to waltz in here, make a statement like 'I'm in love with you' and then not expect there to be any repercussions."
"Because you can't!"
"Okay then Yama, what exactly do you expect me to do? Apologise?"
"What would be the point in that?"
"I don't know, do I? You're the one suggesting it."
"No! You suggested it, idiot!"
"Alright, calm down."
"I am calm!" I blurted in a very un-calm way.
"I don't know what you want me to say," Tai said, after a pause.
"I don't care what you say. I just want you to say something. This is a big thing."
"Yeah. For me."
"For me too! You're my best friend and I just...It's a big thing, alright?"
"Alright. Okay. It's a big thing."
"Yes. It is."
"So now what?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
The images on the TV flashed away cheerfully in the muted silence.
"I don't understand why this is a problem," Tai said eventually. "Does it bother you if I'm attracted to you? I didn't think you'd mind that kind of thing."
"Of course I don't mind…"
"Well so what's the problem?"
"I don't know, Tai."
"You don't know what the problem is?"
"No. And that is the problem."
"What is? The problem is that you don't...know what the problem is?"
"That doesn't make any sense."
"I don't care."
"You know...I don't think you've thought that whole argument through very well."
"Right. Thanks for that."
I sighed in annoyance.
"I wish you hadn't told me this."
"I'm sorry. I won't do it again."
"Are you sure you aren't drunk?"
"Well...can't you pretend you are? That will make things a lot easier to stomach."
"No. I'm not going to pretend I'm drunk. That's so pointless."
"Please. You fancy me. You have to do what I want."
"No I don't."
"I'm not drunk!"
"Well why not?"
"Because it's..." he paused to check his watch, "one o' clock in the afternoon, that's why."
"Okay. So maybe that's not all that plausible."
"Can we come up with a different excuse then?"
"No! What is wrong with you? I'm not going to make excuses for telling you how I feel."
"Look, if it makes you feel any better then we can pretend it didn't happen. Alright? We can completely ignore it and I'm sure it'll only be a matter of time before I get over it. Everything's dandy. How does that sound?"
"We shouldn't ignore it..."
"Matt, do you want to pretend it didn't happen or don't you?"
"Well...Yeah, I guess. Let's do that."
"Okay. Consider it done."
Another silence fell and this time it was long enough for Tai to bother turning the sound back up on the TV. I let the noise wash over me for a while, as my mind was too foggy to think properly about anything. Well, about anything except how much it was going to annoy me to pretend it hadn't happened. It only took about ten minutes for me to decide what the problem actually was.
This time I was the one to mute the TV. Tai turned to look at me questioningly.
"Is it okay if I just try something?"
"Um. Yeah. Sure."
I leant forward, slid a hand behind his head and pressed my lips against his. It didn't feel at all awkward and strangely, I wasn't at all surprised that it didn't. When I drew back, he studied my face for a moment and then licked his lips.
"Cool. I was hoping you were going to do that," he said and draped an arm around me.
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A/N: Feedback is always nice! ^_^