(This is fanfiction. Disney owns the Haunted Mansion. Yes, the referenced video exists.)

Just Bein' Helpful

It was a drizzly, kind of nothing day..the sort of day when hairy little cacti ghosts make absolute pests of themselves following you around , complaining that they're bored from lack of anything to do. Ezra was at wits end.

"Gus, I'm not your mother," the tall drink of water growled.

" 'Course not, you're clean shaven," sighed Gus, He'd been sitting beside Ezra on the sofa while the tall ghost was reading, trying to entertain himself by dropping his heavy iron ball on the wooden floor, but after an hour or so, the game had somehow lost its magic.

"What on earth is going on up here?" a voice sounded. "Ah, I see.." Phineas said, appearing on the sofa between them. "Gus, why don't you go down to the wine cellar and finish the game of mahjong I started with the captains wife?"

"No thank you, them wall sconces down there is always putting their two cents in," said Gus, dropping the ball again.

Phineas and Ezra looked to each other, conceding that pretty much all the light fixtures in the mansion had this unfortunate tendency.

Ezra lowered his head, and narrowed his eyes."You like educational stuff, dontcha, Gus?" he said.

"Yea," said Gus, as though he was reminding himself.

"Well, there's this really great documentary on paint drying online..very informative," Ezra grinned.

Phineas tilted his head 'really?'

"It might take a while, though," said Ezra, "It's a ten hour video."

"Well, it's an investment, isn't it?" said, said Gus, happily floating off to Ghost Hosts office.

"When are you going to tell him that it's a ten hour long still shot of wet paint ?" asked Phineas.

"I'm not. With any luck, I can get him to watch the sequel next time he's bored," Ezra grinned.

"You're a mean one, Mr. Bean, " Phineas chuckled.

"Just tryin' to be helpful," Ezra said, going back to his reading.


Gus is not unintelligent, there are some things that he may not be aware of, as he's 'been away' for a while, and at other times he will pretend to not understand things, as he likes leading people a merry chase...that's just Gus being Gus. He simply went to Ghost Hosts office to run him 'round the Maypole a bit.