Pg – 13
Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go so don't bother trying to accuse me of that.
Author's Note: Just a semi-short song-fanfiction between Hikaru and Sai.
Hikaru walked down the lonely path of the street. The buildings seemingly to have appeared to have whizzed passed by him in a white blur. Nevertheless whether it was him who moved or them, didn't cross his mind as the young Pro Go player of 18 steadily walked through the streets. Today he was in Innoshima and was on his way to visit Honinbou Shuusaku's home.
Hikaru slowed down his pace as he took the time to view his surroundings, in front of him was an old house made back during the Edo period. It was a wooden home with faded curtains and a cracked front porch.
Scratching the back of his head, the young man took one last quick look around him before striding forward to enter the home of the late Go player.
As he stepped through the door, he noticed that the inside had changed from his last visit. It had been updated in some areas with new finds; the objects as he took the time to look at them had been newly polished. And as he carefully walked through the home of the Shuusaku, the boy could almost feel a presence residing within the home.
His eyes rested upon an old Goban that resided outside of the room and rested upon the wooden platform of the back porch. A quizzical expression passed through his face before he stepped through the open doors and entered the outside. A small creak could be heard as the newly added weight was added on the aged wood.
"They really should remodel this place…" muttered Hikaru as he gazed upon the old timbers.
"They would, but the feeling that resonates within this place…it's different, is it not?" a voice answered.
Startled, Hikaru gazed outside and to his side but found no one there. Taking another step out, he headed for the old Goban and gazed at it. There were no markings from what he could see, but the words that the voice said to him were clear.
'This place did hold a certain presence…one that he was familiar with…'
Hikaru narrowed his eyes on the Goban and kneeled down in front of it. He was certain that if he concentrated hard enough he could probably see the stones that used to be placed upon this very Goban so many years ago.
'Here…this board…this very board was where Sai used to play against his opponents.'
As he thought of that, he saw a vision pass through within a flicker of an eye.
It was the face of Sai, his dark blue-almost purple eyes, set hard in a serious glare as he directed his moves with his fan to a young Torajiro. The 'pa-chi' of the stones resounding over the board as he set them against the opponent. White vs. black and white winning.
Seeing that image made Hikaru quake in fear intermixed with anticipation and excitement. The beauty of it, the power…the wonder…all of these feelings made him shake, up to the point he bowed his head in defeat. The feeling overcame him.
'Sai enjoyed his moments with Torajiro, didn't he? I wish…he felt the same with me.'
The boy squeezed his eyes shut, remorse and sadness, anxiety as well as fear entering him now as he recalled the past. His time with Sai were filled with fond as well as sad memories and with the last images diminishing tears could be seen falling from his face.
'I…I wonder…what you felt when you were with me. I never asked you, have I?'
Tipping his head back, he gazed at the blue sky.
Crisp, brown autumn leaves fell away from the trees sitting by and wafted through the air to fall right on the Goban board. Sitting idly in front of the tear-streaked Go player.
'I never even told you…what I felt…'
Another autumn leaf fell and this time it landed on his lap. Tenderly, he held it up to his face and let out a small smile. He could remember the first time he played Go with Sai against Touya Akira six years ago. His first…no their first game together, not including the one against his grandfather, that one didn't count.
Turning the crisp brown leaf over, he recalled back the day after they won their informal match against Touya. The row of trees side by side, the leaves falling and Sai right behind him with a happy smile on his face after getting to fight an actual match against an opponent. It was after that match that Sai would then help him with his history assignment.
"A game of Go in turn for History lessons, what a deal…" Hikaru laughed aloud, taking in some curious glances for the few people who were at the site as well from the inside.
Blushing a bit, Hikaru turned to get up and as he made a motion to go back in, he felt a familiar presence. This made him freeze up in his steps, the leaf falling from his fingers and to the wooden floorboard. His heart sped up as he turned his head to the side and at first saw nothing but the seasonal tree next to a small shrine that was implanted there after Torajiro's death. However, the young boy couldn't shake the feeling that had stirred itself inside of him and decided to see the small shrine up close.
Kneeling down in front of the shrine he began to pray, hoping with all his heart that wherever Sai might be that Torajiro was with him and together they were happy and at peace with one another.
'Sai, wherever you are…I want you to know that…'
He froze up, not knowing exactly what to say at this point. Therefore, he rose up and sadly gazed upon the shrine before turning to go.
These feelings I want to tell you
Are spilling out right now
But I'm hesitating, not knowing how to put it into words
As the 18-year old turned to leave he was met by a familiar form.
A white and purple konoshi. The familiar long white sleeves over silky white smooth arms and hands. And as the boy studied the figure longer, he noticed the black tate-eboshi hat adorning long raven hair. Smooth and glittering against the afternoon sun just before sunset. The dark blue-almost purple eyes that glittered with familiarity and contentment.
'Hikaru…it's been awhile, ne?'
So many seasons passed by since we met
I miss that time we stayed up all night talking
"Sai!" Hikaru cried out, startled but he didn't take a step back but merely widened his eyes for a brief time before it returned back to normality. His previous shocked expression changed to bewilderment and then to acceptance with happiness fleeting through his façade.
'You've grown…' the past Go-player smiled but didn't move from his spot as he studied his friend.
'Sai, I missed you. I never told you what I felt…never asked you…what you felt…'
Tears formed from his eyes as he fondly gazed up at his old friend.
All that the spirit could do was put up that familiar smile…that nostalgic smile that put the young Go player's mind at ease.
'I enjoyed our times together Sai, all of them…the good and the bad. Because…because you're with me. Without you…I..'
He stopped at his words as he stared at him, Sai merely stood there listening to what he had to say. It seemed that after all that he had thus said prior to their first meeting didn't need to be voiced into words. Merely, to stand there and look on.
'I understand, Hikaru…' Sai uttered out.
As I walk towards my dreams
I learn what vanity is
'All this time, you've known haven't you?' Hikaru softly uttered.
This time Sai responded as he began to move, silent as always and full of grace as he crossed the distance between the two of them.
'Known what has happened, known what I have done. All my losses and all my wins; everything I have ever played because…you're in my Go. You're…in me.'
'Hikaru, I'll always be with you. Always from now on, even if I'm not here spiritually or physically…'
Hikaru looked up and gazed into his eyes that he remembers so well. Never had he really thought about them as he had with Touya's and it's now that he felt a cringe in his heart. How could he not have noticed their beauty before until now? Filled with so much wisdom, warmth, and kindness.
'I'll be with you forever, because I love you….Hikaru…'
Hikaru widened his eyes in shock before it resettled itself again. The one he was thinking of had just spoken the words he was looking for: Sai.
'Those words, yes…those are the words I couldn't speak…Sai.'
Let's start each of
Our departure here.
'I love you, too! I always have…'
Sai's smile widened at his words making Hikaru's heart beat even faster. His words seemed to have unleashed a whole new wave of emotions and thoughts. The world around him appeared to have changed as if…as if everything was nothing. As if he could accomplish all the obstacles that would set themselves against him. And as he stared at Sai, he knew he would overcome them because everything he does would be for him.
'Even if we can't be together right now, we will…someday.' Hikaru stated and reached over to touch the ghost only to have it pass through.
'It's different from before, my body isn't as it was when we were together…my presence here is weak.'
Hikaru's face saddened at his words.
'Promise me that from now on, you won't give up the things that you desire?'
Hikaru gazed up at Sai who awaited his words.
'I made that promise years ago before my return to the Go World. I won't give up, never. I'll play…for you and for me. In memory of our time together.'
Sai nodded in acceptance and leaned in. His tender lips touching Hikaru's for a brief moment in time.
This sudden action shocked him but he relented as he closed his eyes. A cold tingling wave was sent throughout his body, as if a gust of wind passed him by. The brief moment sent excitement and fulfillment into him. And as he opened his eyes, he noticed that Sai's form was no longer there just as the first star was sighted over him.
A small smile graced his lovely lips as his fingers lightly touched it before he turned his attention away from the very spot that he was sighted not too long ago and then up at the stars.
I'm not like I was before
I won't give up anymore, I'll keep on walking,
No matter what the future is.
So that I can become stronger.
'I'll become stronger and I won't give up. Never will I give up, just for you…'
"…I love you."
Shindo Hikaru closed his eyes and turned away from gazing up at the stars. His feet carrying him past the Old Goban and the multitude of objects that lay around the old house of Honinbou Shuusaku to the outside world. Today he visited the old site of the greatest Go player of the Edo period. It was also today that he managed to visit his dearest friend, beloved, and the one who helped him in Go: Sai.
As he walked back the way he came, he couldn't help but smile. He was glad for his day and he was sure that he would remember it for always.
"…no matter what happens…yes."
'Tomorrow is a new day, I'll be returning back to Tokyo and from there, I'll become stronger! I'll never forget, Sai. Never!'
The smile on his face didn't leave that night nor the day following. He would surely keep his promise.
Well, there's that…hope you enjoyed it. ^^