"Why are you here?" Batman demanded as he used zip ties on the unconscious henchmen.

"Spotted the Joker and knew you would be en route, so I distracted him by asking a few questions," John replied.

"You could have easily taken him into custody."

"And if he switched his focus to me he'd be a lot harder to predict and make your job harder," John said.

Batman nodded. "I require any heroes that are active in Gotham to report to me and follow my guidelines."

"I have no problem with that, though most of what I do is non-violent," he said as he received a data burst of rules he was expected to follow even though he didn't see Batman activate anything.

"Your charitable works are impressive," Batman said, before turning and vanishing into the dark.

"Weird way to end a conversation," John said.

The Joker laughed, showing he'd regained consciousness. "Yeah, Bats is like that. How much of what you said was true and how much was you spinning him a line of bull?"

"About half and half," John readily admitted. "Part of it, a big part, is me not wanting to interfere in you guys' relationship."

Joker blinked and looked surprised for a second before grinning broadly. "That's mighty decent of you."

"I try," John replied. "Now, instead of dosing him with Joker gas, have you considered hitting him with helium?"

The Joker's eyes widened and he laughed like the lunatic he was. "Oh my stars and garters, that'll annoy him for hours if not days!"

John laughed as Joker started doing impressions of Batman exposed to helium between bouts of hysterical laughter.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

John sent a wave of green energy surging through the park, wilting and dying plants perking up as he subspaced all the trash and pollution his ring could identify. Floating over the duck pond he cleaned the water and used a touch of blue energy to treat the fish and ducks.

It was the fifth park he'd cleaned that day and the first one that didn't have a corpse buried in a shallow grave somewhere on the grounds.

"Transmission from the Watchtower," James announced and formed a holographic screen in front of him, displaying Martian Manhunter.

"Green Lantern, are you available for a medical emergency?" J'onn asked.

"Beam me up," John replied, knowing they wouldn't have contacted him unless it was serious as he wasn't a League member.

The world flickered and he found himself on the teleport pad in the Watchtower.

"Hold on," The Flash said, appearing in front of him and sweeping him up in a princess carry.

John blinked as the world blurred around him and The Flash set him on his feet in the medbay at the side of the bed of Ice. The white haired metahuman was in dire straits, she had numerous bleeding wounds and broken bones and was struggling to get up while her patrol partner Fire was holding her down.

"Get a sword now!" John ordered Flash as he used his power ring to diagnose her, almost wincing at the readings.

The Flash reappeared with a sword almost as quickly as he'd vanished. "Got it, though I don't know why."

John pressed the sword into Ice's hands and she stopped struggling, wrapping her fingers tightly around its hilt.

"What?" Fire asked, confused, as multiple green filaments sank into Ice's body, subspacing bullets and shrapnel.

"She was afraid she was going to die," John replied absently as he concentrated on pulling together torn and damaged flesh before using the blue ring to heal her.

"How does that equal sword?" Flash asked what both of them were thinking.

"It's a religious thing," John replied as he sent a final wave of blue light into Ice. "And done."

"Done?" Fire asked in disbelief.

"No pain," Ice said in disbelief as she easily sat up. "I feel... good."

John waved a hand and a half pound of bloody metal fragments clattered onto a tray. "I suggest a little less iron in your diet and a new costume, this one looks done for."

The three superheroes just turned and stared at him.

"It's not my best material, but it was a decent joke," he said, a bit offended that it didn't even get a smile.

"I was preparing for death, not jokes," Ice said, holding the sword to her chest, "you'll have to give me a moment."

"Oh, yeah that would have an effect," John admitted.

"I thought you were a Green Lantern," Fire said, "and I've never seen one heal someone like that."

"Oh, thank god they got you in time," Guy said as he flew to Ice's bedside and hugged her.

"Can I get an explanation for the sword and healing?" Flash asked hopefully.

"Sure," John replied. "Ice is a follower of the Norse pantheon, so dying in bed is the last thing she'd want. At the very least she'd need to die with a sword in hand to get into the VIP section of their afterlife."

The three heroes turned to Ice who nodded. "That's a bit simplistic, but true. Failing that, I'd rather die on my feet."

"And I'm a support type Lantern, so I've put a lot of work into being the best healer I can be," John explained. He held up his left hand, displaying the Blue Lantern ring.

"You married Supergirl?" Ice guessed.

John laughed. "No, I sought out a ring of Hope, which was made by the Kryptonians, thus the symbol."

"I didn't know about that," Guy said, "I just read the report about you bringing a freshly dead cop back to full health, so when I heard Ice was dying, I told them to call you."

"Thank you, I don't think I'd have made it without your assistance," Ice told him.

"Yeah thanks," Guy said, "I'm in your debt."

"You already promised me the moon," John reminded him with a grin.

"Still gotta get permission to charge four rings so I can pull it out, but when I do, it's yours," Guy promised.

"Or I could loan you four charged rings and we could get it done today," John suggested.

"I feel like I'm missing half the conversation here," Flash complained.

"He wants to terraform Venus, but it needs a moon and one of my ring's former wielders stuck one in its subspace storage pocket," Guy explained. "Still don't know how he did it, but I'm going to need a lot of power to get it out and since I broke his ring, I promised I'd give it to him."

"Every answer is just going to lead to more questions, isn't it?" Flash asked.

"Probably," John replied, "how we met was an interesting story."

"I'm still amazed that orcas hunt moose," Guy admitted.

"I'm definitely going to get the story from you later," Ice told Guy, "but for now I need a shower and a new costume."

"Same here," Fire said, "someone was so clumsy as to bleed all over mine."

The two girls giggled; the faintest edge of hysteria hidden in their tone.

"That they laugh at," John said with a pout.

"In that case let me get the sword back to Shining Armor before he comes after it," Flash said, taking back the sword and vanishing in a blur of speed.

"Who?" Ice asked.

"I think he meant Shining Knight," Guy said with a smirk. "Apparently someone watches My Little Pony."

John just grinned at Guy as Ice got up.

"What?" Guy asked.

"Fluttershy is best pony," John replied seriously.

"Bag that, Rainbow Dash all the way!" Guy snapped back. "Um, can we pretend I didn't say that?"

"Sure," John agreed, "just know your opinion is wrong."

"Broke the sound barrier under her own power," Guy said firmly, "no amount of vet work beats that."

"Tamed Discord and terrifies dragons," John countered as he waved for Guy to follow him.

"I really don't know what you see in him," Fire joked.

"He has a warrior's spirit," Ice replied, "and a great ass."

"When he isn't busy being one," Fire teased as she led her friend off. "Tonight we are getting very drunk and you are going to booty call that man. We have a week of mandatory downtime and I intend to use it!"

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"I'm just saying I feel more for Luna and Celestia gives off Dumbledore vibes," Guy finished as they came out of FTL in orbit around Venus.

"Fine, I'll concede that if we remove Twilight from the running because she's the main character and thus gets an unfair advantage, Luna is clearly best princess," John admitted.

"Good, and if anyone asks, we never had this conversation," Guy said. "Okay, pass me some rings and let's get this done."

John chuckled and pulled four Green Lantern rings, charged with Will, out of storage. "Here you go."

"You got more rings than a pimp," Guy said as he put them on, his aura getting brighter as he connected to them.

"Seventeen... Eighteen," John counted off. "Yeah, I do like my jewelry."

"Eighteen?!"

"I can make permanent copies and since I'm not nearly as power efficient as you are I like to keep fully charged ones ready to switch out as needed," John replied.

"Sounds a bit paranoid," Guy said absently as he focused, suddenly shining like a new star given birth in the sky.

"Whoa," John said, shielding his eyes with his hand.

"Done," Guy announced as John blinked away the spots in his eyes.

John looked at the perfect sphere. "I wonder why it's so smooth?"

"No idea," Guy said, "I couldn't locate any records on which Lantern stored it or why." He took off the four depleted rings and handed them back. "Thanks, that was a bit of a rush."

"No problem," John replied, "thanks for the moon." He stuck the empty rings back into his subspace pocket and handed Guy a charged one. "Here, in case of emergencies."

"But how will you survive with just seventeen Green Lantern rings?" Guy asked sarcastically.

"Sixteen," John corrected him, "one is blue." He pulled a green ring out of his subspace pocket and ordered it to create a duplicate. "There, fixed."

Guy just shook his head. "I can see why they don't let us make multiple copies. Someone would probably have a hundred fully charged rings stored 'just in case."

"If there's a problem I can't solve with a dozen or so rings... I'm giving up," John said with a chuckle.

Guy's ring pulsed and he began to grin. "Looks like I know what I'm doing tonight. Just got a call from Ice, she wants me to come over." He turned to John. "Thanks for healing her, I really owe you one."

"I'm sure I'll need another moon at some point but for now I'm good," John said.

"Still, thanks," Guy said. "Catch you later."

"Later," John said before Guy vanished into FTL.

"Why have you given Venus a moon?" an annoyed and weedy voice asked.

John turned around and found himself facing a hologram of a short bald man with pointed features, almost goblin-like in appearance. "Venus deserves to be a lush green paradise," he replied, "this will help with that."

"There is some truth to that," the figure agreed, "but if there is any terraforming to be done, I'll handle it."

"If you're Dr Sivana, then I'll leave you to it," John said, recalling that in Zoat's story the scientist had retreated to Venus and basically retired.

"You're very accommodating for a superhero," Dr Sivana noted.

"I'm more a handyman with a power ring than anything else," John replied. "I like to fix things, not punch people and preach about my moral superiority."

Dr Sivana chuckled at that. "They do tend to do that, don't they."

"Well, if that's taken care of, I believe I'll be off," John said and vanished into FTL only to find himself inside a massive laboratory, trapped inside a large yellow bubble of energy.

"Not quite yet I think," Dr Sivana said. "I have a few tests I want to run and since Venus has a lack of superheroes to test things on..."

"I've read stories like this," John said. "Do you at least have a beautiful daughter I can seduce to help me escape?"

Loud laughter burst out from behind him and John turned and saw a pair of young adults with features similar to Dr Sivana's, showing they were likely his children but a fair bit more attractive. The young man was clutching his sides while the young woman just glared at her brother.

"Did you really just compare this situation to something from a juvenile fantasy novel?" Dr Sivana asked in disbelief.

"Are you going to put me inside some sort of Colosseum and have me fight killer robots for your entertainment?" John asked.

"That is the general idea, yes," he admitted dryly.

"Then I am definitely going to do my best to seduce your daughter," John replied.

"I don't know how to feel about this," the young woman in question admitted, idly kicking her brother who had literally fallen over laughing.

"We can discuss it over dinner," John suggested.

Typing By: Abyssal Angel

Beta By: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Shadows

TN: "...and Celestia gives off Dumbledore vibes," Guy finished before a sudden shiver went down his spine and he suddenly found himself tied to a chair unable to move with a screen in front of him. Before he could start moving to free himself, a video started playing, and he spent the next several minutes forced to watch Inkrose's 'Little Sunshine' and 'Lullaby For a Princess' back to back, while a shadowy figure watched from behind, glaring evilly at the man for daring to insult Best Sun Princess by comparing her to the real Dark Lord of Harry Potter. He'd originally planned to punch the man repeatedly, but then decided kicking him right in the feels would be a much better revenge.