Title: Kindergarten

Author: trin_chardin

Summary: What if the characters of Reloaded went to kindergarten together?

Categories: AU/Humor

Author's Note: I've seen similar stories in other fandoms. That, a love for irreverent humor, and a crazy HL thread led to this. Hope you guys like it. ~_^

Disclaimer: I don't own the Matrix concept or anyone/anything in it.



Chapter 1 - Roll Call

"Good morning, class."

"Good morning, Teacher 'Racle," the class chorused.

"Now, today's your first day at school. And I'm sure you're all excited to get started learning. But, first, let's get to know each other."

The grandmother-ish figure's eyes twinkled as she smiled at her students.

"Who would like to go first?"

A hand shot up, eerily remeniscient of a Nazi salute.

"Well then, what's your name?"

The boy stood up and straightened his dark suit.

"My name's Smith. John Smith."

"Would you like to add anything else, John?"

"Smith will suffice," he retorted sharply.

"Very well." She smiled kindly.

The woman looked over the class and pointed out the girl in white.

"What's your name?"

"My name's Perse," the girl dimpled charmingly.

"That's a nice dress, Perse."

"Thank you." Another dimple.

"She looks like a marshmallow," a voice muttered.

"She does not!" The boy next to the girl shouted.

"No shouting, please," the teacher said, and turned to the boy. "What's your name?"

"My name's Mero, and I can curse in French," he said smugly.

"Uh...that's nice. But, we don't say bad words here." She turned to the other boy as Mero sulked. "We also don't call each other names, young man. What's your name?"

"Locke. ...But, she does! And Niobe's prettier, too!"

"Locke," the teacher warned. The boy fell silent. "I think you should apologize to Perse."

"Sorry," he grumbled.

"Now, why are you kicking Locke's desk, young man?"

"He's trying to steal my girlfriend," the other dark-skinned boy said sullenly.

The girl who sat on his other side just rolled her eyes.

"That shouldn't be an excuse. Don't do it again, okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"And what's your name?"


Then, the boy grabbed the hand of the girl beside him.

"And this is Niobe. She's faster than any girl here!"

"Well, that's nice, Niobe."

The dark-haired girl just smiled at the teacher.

"What about you, young lady?"

"My name's Trinity," was the prim response.

"Trin kicks ass!" The Chinese boy next to her shouted.

"What did I say about bad words?" The teacher asked.

"Uh...don't say them?" The boy answered sheepishly.

"Right. And your name is?"

"Ghost." He smiled widely.

"And what is your name?"

The teacher turned to the shy-looking boy beside Trinity.

"My name's Neo," he said softly.

"Neo's a dork," a British accent flatly stated.

"He is not," Trinity said, blue eyes flashing.

"See, he even needs his girlfriend to defend him," a similar voice seconded.

"Oh, shut up, albino boys," she said coolly.

"Now, now, children! What did I say about calling each other names?"

"Not to do it," they replied in chorus.

"Good. Now, what are your names?" She asked the twins behind Mero.



They replied at the same time.

"How original," Smith smirked.

"Hey, Neo, your kid brother's at the door," Morpheus whispered.

Neo flushed red and sunk low in his seat as the bald-headed boy in question waved wildly from the open door. A man dressed in white grabbed hold of his hand before he could enter the classroom. Keeping a tight grip on the boy, he caught the teacher's attention.

"Seraph, what's the matter?"

"The principal wants to see you," the junior teacher replied.

"Oh, Archie again. Great," the old woman sighed. "Could you watch my class for a moment? Thanks. I'll take this boy to his mother on the way."

Without waiting for a reply, the woman went off, little boy in tow. Left behind, the young teacher looked at the class. They just stared right back.

"Uh...so, what have you learned today?"