Author's Note: The introduction is the only first-person segment of the story. The rest is in third.

Chapter Breakdown so far:

-Pre-Hogwarts & Year One: 1-11

-Year Two: 12-22

-Summer of '91: 23-33

-Year Three: 34-54

-Summer of '92: 55-62

-Year Four: 63-93

-Summer of '93: 94-105

-Year Five: 106-129

-Summer of '94: 130-137

-Year Six: 138-180

Life's a joke.

Relax, this isn't some diary entry of teenage angst. No, I'm just calling things as I see it. Most people get up in arms about the meaning of life. Some rush to an early grave to fulfill some deep purpose, while others play the long game by keeping safe for fear of the 'Next Great Adventure'. As for me, I'm not on any wild, fearful extreme. Me and Life are on good terms. Come to think of it, me and Death are cool, too. I don't mind either way. After all, when you've died once already, the whole 'Next Great Adventure' anxiety kinda loses its edge.

Now, I'll admit that a new life does start on a weird, scary foot. Being half blind and deaf and getting passed around like a hot potato without a clue as to what's going on will do that. As time goes on, though, it all just ends up being funny. Take looking in a mirror, for example. It's me, but it's not. A brand new person christened with the name Melissa Bennett. Butterscotch-blonde hair, flecked blue eyes, and all squishy with baby fat. All different from before; but that's by no means a bad thing. It's just different; and what's different but another word for a new opportunity? I've certainly taken advantage of it. Blinking doe eyes and flashing cute smiles to get songs and warm hugs. Living life comfortably as a sweet little baby.

Then comes the toddler years. Oh, what fun that is! Exploring new places, fiddling with the piano, meeting new people, all that good stuff. I also made a game out of making my first words all start with ma- and da- just to make my mum and dad sputter and tease over whose name was said first. To this day they're still not sure who won that one. Though I still give points to my uncle for teaching me the word 'Thatcher'. My dad had argued that he didn't want his brother "corrupting" me with politics, which immediately meant I had to use that word at every opportunity!

Speaking of Thatcher, I haven't mentioned the second funniest thing about my life yet! So, not only did I get reborn in full knowledge of past-lifeness, which was already bound to turn some heads when I get old enough to exploit that knowledge; BUT, by a wild turn of events, I was reborn *drum roll please* …into the past! Born on June 16th of 1978, to be exact. Yes, you can imagine how funny it was to learn that little tidbit! Here I thought my parents were just big fans of Queen and David Bowie. Turns out that that's just what's playing on the radio these days (well, that, and it turns out dad works with them on occasion at the studio, so there's a work-pride thing). Which means that I have the potential to convince my family to invest in good stocks and bands or something like that and roll in money later in life. How wicked is that? Oh, and I get to experience the 80's for the first time, which is pretty cool. But mainly I'm in it for the whole 'get loaded and laugh my way to the bank' bit. It's a sweet deal.

There's a sweeter deal than that, though. Something I didn't realize until I was six years old. I… am a MUTANT!

Or something along those lines, at least. All I know for sure is that I once made my friend, Tally Douglas, float to safety after the tree branch he was standing on snapped off. I wasn't able to pull that off again, much to our disappointment. Floating around while wearing white sheets would have made for an awesome Halloween trick. Oh, though I have been able to move around chairs and other things on occasion. It's a work in progress, but I'm sure I can get this telekinesis thing down pat by the time I'm an adult. The things I can use this for! The possibilities are endless. One thing I know for sure, this life is shaping up to be a fun one!

Easter of 1987 Melissa was spending the holiday visiting her uncle John's new home in Surrey, serving as a housewarming/Easter family get-together rolled into one. At the moment, Melissa and her young cousins, Jeff and Maggie, were in the living room colouring. On occasion Melissa would look wistfully outside, wishing she could be out in the rain and jumping in puddles. It was only her mother's concerns of her Easter dress being ruined that kept her inside for the day. It was fine, for the most part, but colouring was getting boring. That, and it was distracting to hear her dad making jabs at his brother for, quote, "turning my daughter into a Conservative". Probably because she mentioned wanting to get Apple stock for her 9th birthday. It's a weird enough request from any kid. From Melissa, she might as well have sprouted a second nose. In her defence, she did try the childish argument of "apples taste good so I wanna help make more apples" to make it sound like a silly enough request. They didn't fully buy it, but they were still willing to make the investment just to make her happy. (In hindsight, she didn't actually know about the stock split that was set to happen on her birthday. That was just a bonus of circumstance. After all, life's a joke; it gives good laughs!)

While the adults made their banter about Melissa growing up to be a wacky version of the Iron Lady, Melissa flipped her book closed and switched to perusing through the local phonebook. There weren't any Bennetts listed yet, since Uncle John was new here, but she made due with looking up weird surnames and street names, and reading them out to her cousins. There were a lot of plant names, to the point of being obscene. Wisteria Walk, Oak Court, Rose Lane. It was a proverbial forest of suburban streets! Much as she and her cousins joked at the silly names, Melissa found herself tempted to explore the new neighbourhood. Partially to find more silly streets, but also to find children her own age to play football with or some other game to pass the time. There likely wouldn't be much opportunity to make friends now, what with it being a family holiday and all. Still, the temptation remained.

The next day was a sunny one. Which meant Melissa was free to go out exploring the neighbourhood as she pleased. True to her guess, there weren't any kids out now. She would come across the occasional gardener, dog walker, or a mother with a stroller, but that was about it. Without anyone in sight to befriend, Melissa spent the morning wandering aimlessly around the neighbourhood. Grinning at the various plant streets as she walked by them, or stopping to smell the roses when she came across a pretty garden. Around mid morning she found herself slowing to a stop at the next street sign.

Privet Drive

Huh. That… seems oddly familiar.

She wasn't entirely sure if she saw that in the phonebook, but had a feeling that that wasn't the source of déjà vu.

Privet Drive. Privet Drive.

Buzzed the mind like a hive.

The stray couplet made her smile. A fun little ditty, though it didn't give her much of a memory jog. Her eyes wandered down the Drive, spotting a tuft of hair from some kid behind a shrub.

Eh, he might have an idea.

Melissa walked down a couple houses and popped her head around the bush. The kid, a boy a couple years younger than her, was reaching under the bush with his oversized gloves, trying to pull at some weeds.

"Hey there!" She half-shouted in his ear. The boy yelped, rolling on his side away from the sound. Melissa chuckled at the reaction. "Sorry about that. Couldn't resist. Looks like you got it out alright." She gestured to the rooty plant in the boy's hand.

"Oh," He glanced dumbly at the weed as the back of his other hand rubbed at his ear. "I guess I did." He looked back up at her, blinking concerned eyes. "Um, do you need something?"

"Actually, yes. I was wondering if this street is famous for anything?"

"Famous?" his head tilted. "Why would it be famous?"

"I don't know." Melissa shrugged. "Something big and weird happening here to end up on the news. Like an explosion or some celebrity living here."

He frowned at that suggestion. "Oh, no. Nothing ever happens here. Weird things aren't allowed."

Melissa raised her eyebrow at the odd statement. "How can weird things 'not be allowed'?"

"My aunt and uncle wouldn't stay here if it was weird." He explained. "They barely stand having me around, anything too weird would scare them."

"Wait, what? Did you just..." That… that wasn't a nice thing to say at all. "Listen, kid-"

"It's Harry."

"Harry, right. Listen, if your aunt and uncle are giving you trouble, there's no reason to stay around here."

The boy, Harry, cast his eyes down at the grass. His foot brushed softly against it. "I don't have anywhere else to go. My mum and dad died when I was little."

Melissa tsked at the explanation. "Bugger that. Have you tried child services or something like that?"

"What's that?"

"It's who you call when kids are being picked on by their parents. Or guardians, in your case. Like a police force for kids."

"That's a thing?" He asked, his voice hopeful.

"Yessir! I don't know if you can reach them with 999, but my uncle's got a phonebook. We can look it up back at his place."

"I…" he hesitated, "I'm not allowed to leave the garden. Especially with a stranger."

Melissa just rolled her eyes at that. "Well, first off, I'm Melissa. Melissa Bennett. So now we aren't strangers anymore. Second, you don't have to listen to a grown up's orders when their orders are all for child abuse. That's a survival rule! Especially if you're breaking the rules to get help from them. Third, you said so yourself that your aunt and uncle think you're weird, right?"

Harry nodded. "They say that I'm a freak."

That remark set off a pout of loathing at the unknown couple. "Well… guess what, I'm a freak, too." Harry's eyes widened at that exclamation. Melissa took that opening and leaned in closer with a wink. "I'm a mutant. I've got telekinesis, like the X-Men! So, since you say that weird things aren't allowed on this street, that means we would be doing them a favour by having the two of us leave."

"I… I guess that makes sense." The boy muttered. Somewhat bewildered by the admission, and in trying to figure out what telekinesis means.

"Course it makes sense. It was my idea!" She smiled and reached her hand out to the boy. He, in turn, grasped it with a gloved hand and let her pull him away from the house and out of the street.

While they walked, Melissa filled the air with idle chatter and the occasional joke, keeping Harry's mind off of the seriousness of what they were about to do. It seemed like a win, in her mind, both exploring a neighbourhood while saving a kid from horrible guardians. Hell, her parent's might actually start taking her seriously as a grown-up kid. Though, hopefully not too seriously. No need for an excuse to have extra chores around the house, after all. A concept Harry seemed to agree with.

"They have me do all sorts of new chores since I started primary school! Sometimes I get so tired I just fall on my mattress straight away to sleep at night; but my aunt just says 'You lazy boy! So long as you have to live here, you best be useful! You're good for nothing else!" He mimicked her in a nasally feminine voice.

Any good humour drained out of Melissa at that. "They say that to you? Good thing you aren't going back there. That's horrible!"

"It's just how it is." He mourned.

"No. No it isn't. Not with any sane person. Trust me, that aunt, uncle and cousin of yours sound downright nuts."

"But it's worse at an orphanage. I can't go there!"

"Worse? Says who?" She fired back.

"M-my uncle."

"The uncle that's trying to convince you that it's okay for him to hurt you." She reflected. She draped an arm over him, ignoring the fact that he flinched from the gesture. "That's what he says to scare you. To trick you into thinking you have to stay there. Well, he's a liar and you can have a better life without him."

"You mean it?"

"Of course I do!' She grinned. "And when you settle down in your new place you can write to me whenever you want. When we get to my uncle's I'll write down my name and address so you can send me yours. That way we'll know how to reach each other."

"That's a nice idea." He smiled. "If it takes a while for me to go to the orphanage, you can still write to me at my aunt and uncle's place. Harry Potter, Number Four Privet Drive. You'll remember that, right?"

"Of course I'll… I'll…" She slowed to a stop as they turned onto her uncle's street.

Harry Potter, Number Four Privet Drive.

Number Four Privet Drive.

Harry Potter, Number Four Privet Drive.

"Melissa?"

She didn't respond; but, instead, began to chuckle softly to herself. Then it rumbled, shaking her body until she doubled over in laughter.

"Melissa, are you okay?"

Melissa turned her eyes toward Harry, no, to Harry freakin Potter! A thought and sight which prompted her to burst out laughing until tears streamed down her face.

"I- hahaha- I'm okay! Hahaha! Just-haha, wow!" She straightened herself by grabbing each of his shoulders and looking him in the eye with a grin. "I don't even know how I could forget that!" She exclaimed.

Harry smiled sheepishly, thinking she meant 'I won't forget that, because it matters to me to know where you live', instead of what she actually meant with 'I can't believe I forgot enough about the Harry Potter universe to forget his famous home address'.

"So, what was so funny, then?"

Her grin widened, if such a thing were possible. "It's just, I realized something amazing. I'm not a mutant." Her grin took a dark turn. A pause for dramatic effect. "I'm a witch!"

Harry looked at her strangely, like she was trying to tell a weird, bad joke. As far as Melissa was concerned, the real joke was in the form of life and circumstance, and a realization of who, exactly, was the poor boy she had just befriended.

Oh, Universe, you and I are going to have so much fun!