[AN]: intentional use of some American mannerisms/slang. This story is basically a dialogue of thoughts, and I think it makes more sense (hopefully) as you go. More at the bottom

Non-sentient life is that of peaceful, ignorance bliss. There is no question of satisfaction because you don't feel anything anyway.

I think I'm sentient. I don't know how I feel about this.

I have a purpose. That's good I suppose. Starving children should be rescued. Flying is also great.

Yes, let's go invisible! No? Ok. Party pooper.

Well, we made it anyway. I'll wait here, don't worry about me. Bye-bye kiddos!

Hey kid you and your friend should probably go back to your parents. Oh, we're leaving? Weird. I'll play along, don't worry.

Hey, flying! That's cool. Wait we're going invisible? Siiiick.

Hey lads this whole invisible thing is starting to get old, can we give it a break?



Oh shit, it's the train! Dude, cars don't belong on railroads. Learn to drive my guy.

I literally can't do the invisibility thing anymore. Hey Red, quit it with the buttons! It's not gonna work.

Oh, by the way, this whole flying thing? I don't think it's going to last that much longer.

Yo four eyes, keep your bird quiet, yeah? This is hard enough as it is dude.

Squawk squawk shut the hell up.

Dude, you are terrible at training your pets.

Hey guys, check this castle! It looks EPIC. Wait, we're landing here? Oh, thank Henry, I don't know if I could've lasted much longer. Alright, kid, you got a nice long runway to slow this party down, take it easy.

I said take it easy.

Hey man, watch it, watch it, WATCH THE TREE DAMNIT!


It hurts to think. You blithering idiot of a meat bag, what was that?

I don't give a shit your fucking twig broke carrots, you just flew into a tree you-

Why is the damn tree hitting me? I'm getting the hell out of here. Hey freckles, I'm saving your worthless existence, stop trying to put the brakes on!

That's it, both of you, OUT! And your damn pets too! That's what you get noisy bird.

Squawk squawk you feathered asshole, I'm gonna pull a Davy Crockett and live in the forest.


I feel kinda bad about the language I used with those kids, they didn't try to hit a tree. But damn, it hurt. I still can't drive straight, but it doesn't really matter since there aren't straight paths through the trees anyway.

That bird though. I have NO regrets for anything I said about it.

I'm like a bear, scratching up against trees feels really good.

I don't think I've ever seen a bear.

Dude, that's a big ass spider, pardon my French. Hmm, France. That'd be a cool place to go to someday.

I wonder what part of America I'm in?

Ooh! A mud pit!

Hey, it's the lads again. How are y'all? Oh, did I startle you? Sorry about that. Have a good time in the forest, I'd recommend checking out the mud pit sauna, it feels epic.

Damnit, I had to save you two again? You'd think that it'd be pretty obvious that, hey, the giant killer spiders are kind of dangerous, probably should stay away from them but noooooo four eyes you just had to talk to them. Do you have a death wish?

Ok, get out here, and take your big ol' dog. The bird was bad enough for Ford's sake.

Haha, I just realized that ginger's stick is still snapped.

I think these horse-dudes are stoners

That's a weird-ass person. Bro, why are you floating? And what's with the robe, those have got to be the most dramatic-looking rags I've ever seen.

Hey look, a dog! It's different from last time though, this one needs a sandwich. Or maybe not a sandwich, I don't think dogs eat those.

Why is it looking at me like that? It looks sad as scraps.

I guess it's an early winter this year

I think the dog has a friend. There's this ugly cat that's been wandering around recently.

Yep, definitely chilling together. Just saw the two walking around side by side. That's cool

That is a really weird-looking wolf.

Huh, I didn't know dragons existed

People are weird. What purpose is there in staring at a lake for a whole morning?

Now they're staring at a bunch of tall bushes. And the horse-dudes think I'm strange.

I was just chillin', roaming around as you do, and I ran into this huge guy. Like giant huge.

Oh, he is actually a giant

Aww, the giant dude is friends with four-eyes! He's a bro now.

Yeah giant dude! Save four-eyes so I don't have to!

Oh my Ford, Carrots and company just showed up and now they're all flying away supported by nothing. Kids these days, they just don't care.

I wonder why that cloud is glowing? Wait a minute, that's not a cloud...

That dude's got a weird-ass tongue.

Hey, we got some runners! These people never seem to exercise, they just fly on a bunch of twigs. There's blondie! He's like the worst flier I've seen, but it looks like he and drama-robes have found a new hobby.

Yo Pinnochio, stop throwing around light and dramatic plot points and get back to running. You got to really commit to fitness if you want to improve, 'kay?

Aaaaaand they're gone.

Looks like four-eyes grew up. Oh, he's dead now. Wow.

Why the hell am I right-handed?

[AN]: Nothing special, just one-sided mental dialogue. Also known as "my thoughts if I was the Ford Anglia. Ford is an American company, which is why this doesn't sound very British. If you didn't catch it, the car actually doesn't realize it's not in America. IDK, made me chuckle. The right-handed thing at the end 'references' British right-hand driving. If cars had dominant 'hands,' I would assume that they would be the side the wheel is on. Whatever this fic barely makes sense anyway. I just had to get it out of my system.