Title: A Day for Coffee
Author: Jade Hunter
Disclaimer: The characters and properties of Gilmore Girls do not belong to me
A.N: Written just because.
There were days in a person's life when the worst thing that you could do was wake up and get out of bed. For the Gilmores, those days involved consumption of coffee in quantities that should have been made illegal.
Today was one of those days.
Lorelai knew it the moment her eyes opened, and landed unerringly on her planned outfit for the day. Oh, there was nothing wrong with the outfit itself, to be sure. It was a beautiful dress, an almost black, pine green number, along with matching accessories – pumps, purse, wrap and all. It was what the dress represented that made her want to roll over and go back to sleep.
That dress was the dress she would wear to Boston, a city she never wanted to see, for a wedding, one that made her feel like hurling every moment she thought of it.
She would wear that dress to Christopher's wedding.
Yup, there came that nausea again.
If it were up to her, she would spend the day moping and drinking a gallon or two of coffee. Rory could drive herself to the wedding. It didn't matter that her conscience would nag at her, or that her daughter would whine about having to go alone. Damn her conscience, and a teenager's whining was nothing she couldn't take.
In the end, it was the thought of Christopher's face, disappointed, that made her drag herself out of that comfy bed and into the bathroom to clean herself up and get ready. He hadn't even invited her personally, Sherry had done that, but she knew that he knew of her invitation, and expected to see her. It was selfish of him, and Lorelai knew that he knew that, too, but he expected it all the same, and she couldn't let him down.
Sometimes, it sucked, knowing someone so well.
She was going for Christopher. For Christopher, no matter how she felt about it.
Lorelai repeated that mantra in her head as she put on her makeup, did her hair, and slipped into the dress. It kept going through her head as she properly admired her daughters looks – and vice versa, as she made sure the stove was off (even though it was never on and she was stalling by that point), and as she stepped out of her house and headed to the car.
By the time they reached the church, Lorelai was controlled enough to smile brightly at Sherry's parents, who nodded at her politely, at the Haydens, who raised their brows at her coldly, and at Christopher himself, who looked very sharp and very calm.
Too calm, she knew. Normally, she would have sent Rory off to pop in a quick greeting to Sherry and chattered out a confession of hidden nervousness from him, but she couldn't.
Not today, not for this.
Let him suffer.
Immediately, she felt guilty for thinking it, but she pushed that aside. Besides, it was painful enough being here against her wishes, just so she could make Christopher's fake smile fall off his face and see it replaced with one of his blinding ones, ones that he reserved for her.
She could not, absolutely could not make him feel more comfortable for his impending marriage with another woman. She could smile and act nice, she could sit through the wedding quietly without snarky comments on the side to Rory, she could hold her peace and let him go through with it, but she couldn't help him with his doubts.
It was the limit of her selflessness.
So she sat, on the groom's side, of course, and let Rory sit on the aisle side, just because the girl wanted to pop one of those confetti things at the end.
So she smiled, acting nice, when the couple exchanged their vows.
After it was over, she dutifully gave Sherry and congratulations hug, and a chaste kiss on the cheek for Christopher, who smiled rather painfully at her.
She ignored it.
It wasn't until after the traditional first few dances – the bride-groom dance, the bride-father dance – that she caught a few minutes alone with Christopher. He asked her for a dance, and she accepted. Even when he was married, really out of her reach now, she couldn't say no to his electric blue eyes.
They danced in quiet for a while, both enjoying the contact and wanting to prolong it.
Finally, she said, "Wanna know something that completely ruined my day?"
"Yeah?" he smiled.
"My mom was actually right about something," she sighed, completely serious and in desperate need to coffee. "I realized it this morning as I was driving here."
He recoiled from her in mock terror. "My God!"
"I know," she agreed, smiling a bit. "Almost drove off the highway in shock."
"The day Lorelai Gilmore admits Emily Gilmore was right about something," he shook his head. "I think you just cursed my wedding day."
Immediately, the smile dropped off both their faces at the mention of their present predicament. Although it was hard to forget when they were dancing at said wedding, both always lost track of everything else when they were with each other. Time and age melted away, until they were sixteen again, bantering playfully. It would always be this way, they knew. They could see each other for the first time in ten years and still pick up right where they left off. It was the beauty of their relationship.
The silence between them was not-quite-awkward after that, until he was leaving for his honeymoon. After he helped Sherry into the car, he turned back to view the crowd again and locked eyes with Lorelai. It was a charged moment for both of them, a finality in it that shocked both and made them want to run away someplace where there had been no wedding and Christopher could still be with Lorelai.
But there had been a wedding, and it was Lorelai who broke off the gaze first, turning to Rory with a forced smile. She kept her eyes averted until she heard the car drive away.
After that, it was easy enough to mingle and go home, because Christopher's presence, with Sherry glued to his side, was not distracting her, taunting her.
That night, as she lay in her bed, the dress thrown haphazardly into her closet, she closed her eyes in helpless sorrow.
Her mother had been completely right.
It should have been her up there with Christopher, her in the white dress and the veil (although she might have used a tiara), her slipping that gold band onto his ring finger. Exchanging vows with him. Kissing him. Going on her honeymoon with him.
It should have been her.
Should have been.
But it wasn't. It had been Sherry, pregnant with the future Gigi, dressed in a strategically cut dress that hid the emergence of her new maternity figure.
And Lorelai could accept that. She didn't like it – in fact, she hated it – but she could accept it.
After all, it was her own fault that she wasn't the one up there, her own fault that Rory had grown up without her dad, her own fault that Sherry was even in the picture.
That didn't make it any easier, though.
Sighing again, she got up and reached for her robe.
She needed some coffee.
Today had been one of those days.