Hello my dear readers, Nain Tarlow checking in.

I never thought it would come to this yet here we are, me trying to write a more matue themed story. Nerd and horny teenagers rejoice because it became a reality: E-girl Asuna.

You guys have TwistedFilms to thank for it, who I promised I will write it and he hounded my for 3 months until I made good on my promise. He was also kind enough to look over my work, correct the dozens of grammatical mistakes, so please appreciate his hard work.

Feel free to join our discord server, where the whole idea for this story was born along with many other: Ht tps / discord . gg / z9Pz3Jzc7y

I make no promises when a second chapter will be written and uploaded but it will be done. Sometime.


No Sex In The Shop

"Why do I have to suffer the company of completely brainless idiots all the time and end up with absolutely nothing to show for it?"

Asuna was shaking in rage as she charged into Lisbeth's brand new smithy, her long, chestnut hair flowing behind her, making her look like some kind of descending angel, ready to smite humanity in the low light of the forge.

"Why am I surrounded by misogynistic idiots who are too busy flexing their nonexistent muscles instead of being even slightly useful?" she ranted as she began to pace around, not at all worried about anyone seeing her little meltdown.

The resident smith only gave a small smile at her friend's attitude, carefully putting down the longsword she was currently working on. She was incredibly thankful that she had gotten used to her friend's occasional mood swings and gained the ability to remain completely focused on her work regardless, or else she would have ruined many weapons by now thanks to Asuna.

Patting herself down in pure habit, she regarded her friend who was still pacing and muttering to herself with a fond smile. With Aincrad's current gender ratio favoring males heavily, it was rare to find other girls, especially those who ventured out of the First floor to see what secrets this world held. Asuna was one of the most well-known female players to do so, and despite her occasional quirks, was a dear and trusted friend to her, hence the permission to barge in without even saying a hello.

"It's been a while since I saw you this worked up. What did Kirito do this time?" she asked with only a slight bitterness to her smile as she mentioned their mutual crush.

That lovable dork had barged into her shop and her life with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, sharing an adventure with her that had broken her out of the monotony of constant weapon forging and swept her off her feet. Yet here she was, silently cheering her friend on, even if she still vehemently denied having a crush to this day, and despite always talking about him in either soft, wishful tones or angry tirades.

Really, the things I do for a friend...

"No, for once he was actually acting serious and did nothing idiotic," Asuna huffed as most of her anger seemed to vanish into thin air, sitting down with her head held in her hands. "No, this time, I'm just annoyed with the male gender in general."

"That's most of the players in this game, so it must have been something big," Liz noted with a small grin, taking a seat next to her. "What happened Asuna?" she asked, a little worried.

Life on the frontlines was not an easy thing, and she couldn't help but be worried for her friend who ventured there daily.

"The idiots of the Divine Dragon Alliance found it beneath them to follow the orders of a 'girl'," she said with a growl, her eyes flashing with a dangerous glint. "And proceeded to completely ignore the agreed formations and simply rush the field boss. Of course, almost everyone else began to do the same thing, leaving the whole party a disorganized mess."

Her shoulders slumped as she lowered her head. "I can't even get mad at Kirito, he did his best to keep the idiots caught off-guard alive. Safe to say, it was a hard fight."

Liz winced in sympathy. She had heard enough stories from her friend to know how hard it could be to keep together a group after they got disorganized.

"Thanks to that, my rapier is all busted up," she said, holding up her weapon for the smith to see. It was one of her recent creations that Asuna had brought and had her level up in preparation for the recently opened new floor. It looked normal at first glance, but a quick check of its information showed that it was at the end of its durability, moments away from breaking. "Could I trouble you to fix it?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Man, you really did a number on it," Liz couldn't help but comment before shaking her head and giving a soft smile to her friend as she took the rapier from her. "But of course, you can count on me! You'll be back to killing monsters in no time," she promised as she jokingly flexed her arms.

She quickly opened up a window on her menu, checking the requirements before nodding to herself and getting to work. Restoring the durability of an object was an easy, if not slightly pricey thing to do, but when someone continued to fight on the frontlines, sacrifices had to be made.

Thankfully she didn't have any urgent work on her hands. Before Asuna had arrived, Liz had simply been grinding her smith skills a little so she could start with the sword almost immediately. After a few minutes, she swiped away the nonexistent sweat from her forehead before presenting Asuna with her repaired rapier.

"Ta-da! A freshly repaired rapier, with Lisbeth's signature quality, guaranteed to be your best partner out on the battlefield," she said with a flourish, the act ruined by her giggling like the schoolgirl she actually was, her friend following suit as she reverently took the rapier, inspecting it.

"Beautiful work as always, Liz," Asuna praised with an honest smile as she gave it a few practice swings. "I can't thank you enough. How much do I owe you?" she asked as she opened the menu with her free hand, quickly bringing up a trade window.

"70,000 cor," she answered with an apologetic smile. While it wasn't a large fortune, 70,000 was not something most people were able to gather in a single day. "The materials are a little pricey since they are only available on the newest floor, and the sword really was at the end of its rope so repairing it was a little costly."

Asuna waved it off with a smile. While it was a price that most players would balk at and would think about getting a new weapon instead, she usually kept most of her earnings rather than spend them, so it shouldn't put too much of a strain on her finances.

"Don't worry about it, it's the least I could give for such good craftsmanship. Just a moment and-" she started to say, only to stop moments later, her smile frozen in place as her eyes looked at her balance.

In her life before the start of this death game, Yuuki Asuna, daughter of the CEO of RECT Progress, was supposed to act as the perfect daughter, and as long as she delivered on those expectations, she had a certain level of freedom. Whatever she needed, she got, within reason. Money had never been a problem for her family, as shown by her brother getting both a NerveGear and a copy of SAO days before the official launch.

Safe to say, while she wasn't some girl who would spend what amounted to most people's yearly income, she never really had to worry about not having any money available to her.

Even in this game, as a frontliner, she made more than enough to afford the upkeep of her equipment, food, potions, and other supplies, yet still retain enough to have a little left over for future use. It was especially true for her as she wasn't like most other players, who went after every shiny and slightly better piece of equipment without a second thought, instead choosing to only replace her equipment when it was necessary.

Of course, that didn't mean certain things didn't catch her fancy from time to time, or that she wouldn't stand in front of a shop, looking longingly at a display, desperately wanting to buy something only to convince herself not to with cold, hard logic. She knew well enough that she didn't have monthly allowances or anything like that, so she could only manage with what she earned on the fields (and part of that even went into the guild's treasury).

Even if today's farming run had been a bust, she should have more than enough for the repairs and maybe a treat or two in that NPC cafe she frequented on the 50th floor.

That's why she was left frozen in shock as she looked at her balance and found less than a tenth of the repair costs staring back at her.

"Asuna? Is everything alright? You suddenly froze."

Her friend's worried voice reached her ears, breaking her out of her wildly running thoughts.

"I... I don't have enough Cor to pay for the repairs," she admitted in a low voice as her face slowly reddened. Never before had she felt so embarrassed, not even that one time she was with Kirito and Kizmel at Yofel Castle's great bath.

She couldn't even understand how she had so little money left. After all, she had been even more frugal than usual in the last few months after she found that lovely house on the 61st floor...

Realization dawned on her moments later. She had just bought that house earlier in the week after finally getting enough money to afford it, and had almost immediately afterwards went to stock her inventory full of ingredients since she now also had a proper chance to work on her cooking skills.

Today's income would have been the thing to put her back into a relatively comfortable zone financially, if not for the idiots at the field boss and the subsequent damage done to her weapon. And while she had a backup rapier, it was simply not good enough for the current floor when repairing the other one would be much easier. At least that's what she had believed.

"There, there Asuna... Don't worry about it, we can work something out."

Liz patted her friend's shoulder, consoling her after she calmed down a bit from the realization that she didn't even have enough money to eat at her favorite cafe.

Consoling Asuna was not an easy thing to do, by the way. Despite usually being so composed, the sub-leader of the KoB fell apart when she found herself in an embarrassing situation she had never encountered before. Liz momentarily considered writing to Kirito to ask for help, but figured it would only make things worse, so that left her to look after Asuna alone.

"It's not the end of the world, Asuna," she soothed while trying to think of something... anything... to do. If it were up to her, she would have waved it off, telling her that she could pay for it later, but unfortunately, she knew Asuna would never accept that.

Her friend had an independent streak the size of a football field, and did not like being in debt or relying on others. That personal quirk of hers made her a force to be reckoned with on the frontlines for sure, but it also made her a little hard to work with. Liz usually found it endearing, but now, it put her in quite the conundrum.

That's when she got the idea of the century. An idea that would not only help ease Asuna's conscience, but also be incredibly funny at the same time.

"I got it!" she suddenly cried out with a large smile, Asuna raising her head to blink at her in confusion. "Why not pay me back while working at my shop for the day?"

"What do you mean?" she asked back, tilting her head. "I don't know anything about smithing, and I don't have any skills related to it."

"You don't need to have. I just need someone to man the counter and accept orders so I can concentrate on working in the smithy. You also have enough knowledge on weapons that you could give advice or steer the customer away from wrong choices while giving me the ability to work on my skills in peace. It's the perfect solution," Lisbeth stated, with fire in her eyes at the thought of how much she would be able to work on her skills, which would make her weapons even higher quality, leading to her getting more income at the same time as she would help her friend not feel too bad about her current financial troubles.

Asuna couldn't see anything bad with the idea, either. It would allow her to work off her debt to her friend and, starting tomorrow, she was free to go farming to raise her funds again, no matter how tiring it would be. She also had nothing else to do for today, freeing up her schedule.

"Deal," she agreed with a large smile, shaking the smith's hand.

"Alright. Time for us to go find you a uniform then."

Before she realized it, Liz was dragging her out of the smithy by the hand, and she had to run to keep up.

"Wait, what?" Asuna's face lit up as her friend's words finally registered in her brain.


"How is my favorite employee doing on the front desk?" Liz asked with a sly smile as she poked her head out from her smithy.

Asuna didn't say anything, resolutely looking ahead from her spot behind the counter, acting as if she didn't hear her 'boss'. Despite that, Liz could clearly see that her whole face from her neck to the tip of her ears was a blazing red color, the usually calm-looking girl now resembling a tomato. And it was all because of the uniform she was wearing.

It was supposed to be the same one that Liz wore, a uniform more suited for a waitress than a blacksmith, but for some inexplicable reason, it looked slightly different. Asuna wore a dark red top with puffed sleeves and a flared skirt of the same color, combined with a pure white apron on top of it, but that's where the differences ended. The skirt was a lot shorter than the blacksmith's, more of a miniskirt than anything, and the top was also very tight on her, which highlighted her modest assets. The cherry on top was that instead of going all the way up to her neck, it showed a very small hint of cleavage, which was already more than the chestnut-haired girl wanted to show.

Lisbeth hated to admit it, but her friend was rocking the uniform look, probably even better than her, despite being so different from her usual clothes that were styled after the colors of the KoB. Asuna had a certain elegant allure to her that Liz felt she herself lacked, and that definitely showed in an outfit more geared towards looking good than one used on the frontlines.

Walking next to Asuna, she grinned at the embarrassed look in her friend's eyes as she stubbornly turned away from the pink-haired girl, continuing to act as if she wasn't there.

"Oh come on, don't be like that. You look really good in that outfit!"

The blacksmith tried to win her over with compliments, before going with a different tactic. "And if you think about it, it was you who suggested this kind of uniform for me, so if it's good for me then it's good for you. If you don't like it, you have no one to blame but yourself."

Shoulders slumped, the sub-leader of KoB lowered her head and began to grumble to herself in a very unladylike manner. It was lucky that it was only the two of them and the patiently standing NPC shopkeeper that were currently in the shop. Liz leaned in close to listen to her friend's muted rambling.

"... I feel so unclean... Those eyes as they looked at me... Didn't even look away or anything...I've never been this embarrassed in my whole life..."

There was more, but Liz felt she had gotten the gist of it.

She gave Asuna a small smile of support as she patted her shoulder. She didn't know if it was because a large part of the playerbase were hardcore gamers or simply because they were teenagers, but many of them tended to simply stop and stare at girls with an unnerving, unblinking gaze. It had not been easy to get used to this when she started her business, and later when she started wearing this uniform at Asuna's behest.

"Well, they are teenagers who have been trapped in a stressful game of death for more than a year now. It also doesn't help that the female to male player ratio is really low and that amongst the few female players there are, you are definitely one of the prettiest. It's perfectly natural. You will get used to it," she consoled her.

Asuna glared at her with teary eyes before collapsing on top of the counter, her head buried under her arms.

"I don't want to get used to it. I never had this problem before, at least not blatantly. What's wrong with these people?" she asked in a muffled voice as she tried to let out her frustration in a non-violent way for once.

"Well, in your defense, you are usually in scary sub-leader mode that would make most people afraid to even look at you. Add to that the fact that the frontliners are usually more busy staying alive than looking at your legs or other parts, and you have yourself an explanation. Unfortunately, this is a natural part of being a girl in a video game. It just... took a little time for you to experience that."

"You are not helping, you know," Asuna grumbled before she went back to hiding underneath her arms.

Her pity party was broken up by the sound of a bell, signaling that someone had just opened the front door. In the quick second it took for the door to open fully, Asuna was back up again, acting as if nothing had ever happened, a fake smile plastered on her face as Liz blinked at the sudden change. That plastic smile turned a touch more genuine when instead of another creepy idiot coming in to stare at her, a familiar cloaked figure walked in, throwing a lazy wave to the two girls.

"Oh, hey Argo! What brings you here today?" Asuna asked as the infamous information broker walked up to the counter, eyeing her new uniform with a look that made her want to hide behind Liz.

"I just came to pick up a new set of throwing knives, but it would seem that I get a treat as well. Looking good, A-chan," she replied with a toothy grin, shamelessly ogling what little of Asuna's form was visible from behind the blacksmith who looked a little uncomfortable. "I mean, I'd heard the rumors, of course, but I have to say I was feelin' a little sceptical. Seems I was wrong to feel that way, though. Do you plan to change professions, A-chan?"

Argo's grin threatened to split her face in half as she circled the counter, shamelessly invading Asuna's personal space as she inspected her from up close.

"N-No way. It's only for today. This is the one and only time I will be in this revealing uniform," the chestnut-haired girl protested as she turned away from the Rat's invading gaze with her face resembling a tomato and her arms unconsciously shielding her chest.

"What a shame. All those little boys who got excited at the thought of seein' Asuna in a maid outfit will be so disappointed."

She roamed her eyes over Asuna form yet again, this time more suggestively. "Well, at least I got my treat out of it."

"Okay, that's enough, Argo. Stop teasing Asuna." Lisbeth finally stepped in to save her employee from the clutches of the infamous information broker. "I have your knives ready, did you need anything else?"

"Party pooper," Argo pouted in response before giving up the act and shrugging. "Not really, my armor's durability is still in good shape, though I may make another visit in a few days."

She grinned, causing Asuna to look at her in alarm. Anyone who knew Argo knew that grin spelled trouble. "Almost forgot my souvenir. Say cheese, A-chan."

Before any of them had a chance to react, a camera-like object materialized in Argo's hands that she immediately turned towards the stunned Asuna, who was soon blinded by the bright flash that the camera let out.

"Ah! What the heck was that, Argo?" the fencer demanded in an angry tone as she blinked rapidly, her eyes tearing up as she turned away from the smug-looking information broker.

"Why, I just took a picture, of course. You know how much money I can make with a single picture of you in a sexy maid uniform from these sexually repressed idiots who populate Aincrad?" she asked with a snicker as she examined the photo she had just taken, not noticing how Asuna froze up at the mention of money.

"Don't be ridiculous! A few of them may be desperate enough to buy it, but I doubt it would be a hot commodity," Liz said, stepping in front of her employee to shield her from further pictures. It may have been a bad idea, putting Asuna in that particular outfit, considering the headache it was causing her. "And please, stop embarrassing Asuna."

"But it's so much fun," the cloaked girl said with a giggle, before turning slightly more serious, still retaining that wicked gleam in her eye. "And you would be surprised at how starved of attention people can get after bein' imprisoned inside a video game. It's not like we have an internet browser available, which means no porn."

She laughed at the disgusted expression on Liz's face but continued.

"That leaves players and NPC's, but you can't do much with the latter. Just watch at a distance because of their status as immortal objects."

"Just how would you know something like that?" Liz asked with narrowed, wary eyes. Meanwhile, Asuna was still trying to process the fact that pictures of her could be worth a lot of money, prompting an internal debate with herself.

"Don't underestimate the ends a professional goes to to verify all kinds of information. I would be a very bad information broker if I offered false info, Argo told her with a secretive smile. "Anyway, that only leaves players to mess around with, but thanks to everyone wearing their original look and gender, the gender ratio got a bit skewed. Of the original 10,000 players, the females only make up about 1000 of them. And if we are going deeper and only count the good-looking or gorgeous girls, the number would be closer to 60 at most, with both A-chan and you among the top contenders, since you are well-known thanks to your contributions."

Liz felt the urge to ask once again how Argo knew this information or who would have any need for it, but quickly convinced herself it would be better to leave it in the dark. She was probably better off not knowing. After all, knowledge was a powerful weapon. Thank God that despite her dubious nature and quirks, Argo still retained some semblance of a moral code.

"Anyway, since people are desperate enough to pay for even the slightest show of skin from a girl, this little picture could easily be worth half a million Cor at a minimum if I advertise it in the right circles," she told them proudly, waving her camera in her hand.

"H-Half a million?" Liz cried out in shock, not noticing Asuna echoing her sentiment with a similarly gobsmacked expression.

The blacksmith was barely able to stop herself from drooling at the mere thought of so much money, and even then she was only able to hold it in thanks to the minimal lag the system had when trying to translate more complicated expressions to their avatar's face.

Her pride and joy, the shop with the smithy attached cost only a little more than 300,000 with all of its furniture and everything else that was needed to set it up properly. 166% more than that for a simple picture... she couldn't even imagine what she could do with that much money.

"It's a lot of money, right?" the information broker smirked, waving her hand around as if she was holding a physical copy of said photo. "And that's only for one single photo. Imagine what it would be like to have more."

Her grin widened as both girls seemed gobsmacked by the idea.

"But I can see that you are not interested. A shame, really, but I respect your choice. I'll be on my way to turn this beauty into a lot of money. Toodles!''

With that, she stepped away from the counter and left the two girls alone.

At least, that's what she tried to do.

She suddenly found herself rooted to her spot as two hands slammed down on the table, trapping her in their embrace, with Asuna standing in front of her, her face unreadable. She was so close that their fronts squashed together even as Argo leaned back a bit, put on the backfoot by the out-of-character move from Lightning Flash.

"A-chan?" she asked as she looked up at the taller girl.

"Seventy percent," the girl muttered quietly, looking into the information broker's eyes. She was dead serious even as she leaned forward, not letting Argo get away. "I want seventy percent of the profits."

Argo simply giggled in response, putting on a sly smile as she stopped her retreat and started pushing back against Asuna. It led to the strange effect of their breasts squishing together, resulting in an interesting power struggle as Asuna's firm but larger ones clashed against the smaller pair that was Argo's.

"Don't be greedy now, A-chan. I can agree to give you a cut of the profit since I like you so much, but you wouldn't bleed poor little Argo dry now, would you?" she asked with a pout, but the effect was ruined by the smile that peeked through her expression as she raised her head toward Asuna. "After all, I would be the one doing all the groundwork, and let me tell you, it can really wear down my cute little feet."

She almost purred loudly when she saw Asuna develop a small blush, either because of her words or the fact that the two of them were unintentionally mashing their breasts together.

"How about this? I can give you twenty percent," she whispered into Asuna's ear in a sensual voice, delighted by the shiver it evoked in the chestnut-haired girl.

She felt her happiness recede a bit as Asuna backed off a little and took a deep breath, visibly calming down. That wouldn't do, flustered Asuna was best Asuna, after all, and she wanted to savor teasing her a little more.

"Sixty percent," Asuna spoke up, once again feeling in control of the situation. "It's my picture that you would profit from, after all, so it only makes sense that I get the larger cut since without me, you would have nothing."

"Now that's just pushing it. Why would I simply give up more than half of the profit? It's not like there are any laws in this world that prevent me from using the photo for my own purposes even if you're the one in it. Be happy with thirty percent, I won't give you more," the Rat fired back, never losing her confident smile as the two of them leaned even closer to each other, to the point where they could feel each other's breath on their faces, neither willing to back down from the challenge.

"Um, g-guys... I know this is my shop and all, but... Should I step out for a bit to give you two some privacy?" Lizbeth asked as she watched the two of them fight for dominance, her face beet red and her hands in front of her eyes, which was more of a gesture than anything else since she was peeking through her fingers regardless.

Much to her continued embarrassment, however, neither seemed to even take notice of her presence, and, since she did not possess the bravery to move, was left standing a couple of feet away from them, watching the rather interesting spectacle in silence.

It seemed Argo would have her way in the end when, suddenly, Asuna's smile turned at least twenty degrees cooler and sharper than her sharpest sword. Such a cold look was more than a bit intimidating on the vice-commander's face, and Liz wisely took a few steps back, hoping they would continue to ignore her.

"But if you want more pictures of me, then you have to accept my conditions, Ar-go-chan."

She punctuated every syllable with a seductive purr, enjoying the way the information broker's eyes widened.

"Just think about it... There is so much money to be made here, even at forty percent, that you could easily become one of the richest people in Aincrad, she enticed with a beautiful smile that would have convinced countless male (and female) players to jump from the edge of the map if only to bring her a tiny moment of happiness.

"Finally, you're speakin' my language."

Argo's expression turned lustful as she raised her hands and entwined them behind Asuna's head, pulling the girl closer to her to the point where she was practically grinding herself on the taller girl.

"You really know what buttons to press, A-chan, but you know just as well as I do that you need me as much as I need you if we want this to work," she breathed, licking her lips as she continued to stare into the female fencer's eyes.

She let out a moan as Asuna pushed against her, forcing her to sit on the table behind her, and used her knees to push her legs wide, eliciting a gasp.

"How about fifty-fifty then?" Asuna asked softly into her ear, a predatory grin on her face.

Asuna had always known how to go after what she wanted, even as a little girl. Of course, she made sure to stay within the rules set by her parents, especially by her sometimes overbearing mother, but whenever she wanted something badly enough, she could be very decisive.

Argo whined when, suddenly, the leg that nested between her own made very intimate connection with a certain part of her. She opened her lustful eyes to look at Asuna who returned the stare with equal fervor.

"So, fifty-fifty?" she asked again, going as far as to nibble seductively on Argo's ear, earning herself an uncharacteristically loud moan from the girl who was now acting a lot more shy than usual.

"Yes..." Argo whined softly, having finally had enough to the point where she tightened her hold on Asuna, drawing her close as she raised her head, fully intent on stealing a kiss.

The two girls probably would have gone through with it as well, had it not been for the sound of the front door opening, causing both of them to freeze in place. Soon afterwards, a couple of very familiar voices reached their ears.

"Are you sure this is the place? Seems kinda remote," a male voice complained as its owner, the red-haired samurai Klein, walked into the shop, his attention fixed on the player walking behind him.

"It's because of the water wheel, but I promise you that Liz is the best blacksmith you can find to..."

Kirito was lazily following his friend, but soon trailed off as the two of them got a proper look at the scene inside of the small shop.

Asuna and Argo were in a very compromising position. The info broker was sitting on the desk, her back facing them, the fencer standing just in front of her, their bodies almost made one as they pushed against each other. Even from their position, they could see Argo's legs wrapped around Asuna's waist and her arms around her neck, the two of them looking a moment away from tearing each other's clothes off.

"I don't know what I did to earn the privilege of seeing this, but thank you, Gods of Fanservice, for making this fantasy of mine into reality," Klein muttered with a stupid smirk on his face, blood dripping from his nose.

"Not... the... point..." Kirito muttered, unable to look away as his pale face gained a very red color.

Liz was also in the room, but escaped notice due to her hiding spot behind the counter. When she had noticed Kirito entering the building, her face had turned an unflattering shade of red, and in her panic, she had jumped behind her desk, her hands coming up to cover her mouth to prevent herself from squealing. Oh, the humiliation.

Argo and Asuna on the other hand remained in their places, frozen by the sudden interruption. This disruption also had an interesting side effect, though. It was as if a switch had been pushed, the dynamic between the girls changing with the situation.

Asuna, who had been pretty dominant and suggestive when it was just the two of them (and Liz), seemed to develop a full-body blush that turned redder by the seconds, her eyes fixed on the stupefied face of a certain black swordsman.

Argo, on the other hand, seemed to regain her usual charm as she sent a sly smile at Asuna, enjoying her sudden discomfort when she leaned forwards to remind her of how close their bodies currently were.

She especially liked the embarrassed sound she was able to elicit from the fencer, before she arched her body, retaining as much contact with Asuna as she could, whilst also making them look as sexy as possible for their audience.

Her smile grew as she saw the dumbstruck look on Klein's face, but her eyes quickly sought out the real target and grand prize itself, a certain swordsman who liked wearing black to an unhealthy degree. She made sure to emphasize the contact between her and Asuna's breasts as she caught him staring at them.

"Aww, no fair, Kii-bou! I was so close to scorin' with A-chan! No one likes a cockblock, you know," she stated in faux anger, earning herself a mortified look from Asuna and causing Klein's eyes to widen to the size of dinner plates. She gave Kirito a saucy smile as she very slowly licked her lips, sending him a wink.

"Though I wouldn't say no to a sexy threesome with you, too. Might be able to keep up with me, at least."

That seemed to be too much for the already overworked brain of Kirito, who fell backwards, welcoming the blissful silence of unconsciousness as a geyser of blood escaped his nose.

Asuna gave a hard-to-describe sound from the back of her throat, starting to pull away from Argo. Whether it was to check on her not-so-secret love interest or simply hide away in embarrassment was not clear, but she didn't reach far enough as Argo immediately tightened her hold on her, pulling her body back to hers, enjoying the physical contact.

"None of that, A-su-na-chan," she whispered seductively into her ear, eyes shining with glee. "We were in the middle of negotiations, and I oh so hate leaving things half-finished."

"No sex in my shop!"

Having finally had enough, Liz stood up, pointing at them. The commanding undertone was ruined by her red face and inability to look them in the eye, but at least she could say she tried.