Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma 1/2, or any of it's characters. I do not own ANY King Arthur story, there are so many I wont name them all, just know that I made up the Triangle table but wont claim ownership of it because Disney or something would sue me, and unlike me, they can afford to bribe the judges.

A Dragon called Ranma!
Chapter One: The Past!

Ryoga Hibiki was on his way home to see his dog. Rarely did he get the chance to actually be at home, so of course when he noticed that he had somehow ended up in his own neighborhood, he decided to try and find home.
He didn't make it but Checkers did come to meet him after he got so far. But just then to his shock, horror and chagrin a tornado struck down and he and checkers were thrown back into the past.
Okay yeah that does suck . . . bite me!
Ryoga woke up in the middle of nowhere with a throbbing headache. He looked around and saw Checkers sitting next to him. "Checkers . . ." Ryoga whispered. "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore!"
"Ho there stranger!" A strange voice said. "Who art thou?"
Ryoga turned around and saw Ranma's father sitting on an enormous horse wearing polished armor with spikes sticking out of the shoulders and elbows with a huge axe slung over his shoulder. "Mr. Saotome!" Ryoga yelped.
"Well met Mr. Saotome! I am Gemnalot, first knight of his majesty the king Sounthur."
"Eh . . . wha?"
"Surely you have heard of king Sounthur! Lord of the triangle table?" Genmalot asked.
"Eh . . . maybe . . . yes . . . wait . . . no." Ryoga scratched his head.
"Well have you heard of the kingdom Rubadub?"
"You kiss your mother with that mouth?" Ryoga yelped.
"Eh?" It was Genmalot's turn to look confused.
"Look, Mr. Saotome, don't mess with me, I've got a monster headache, please just tell me: where is the Tendo Training Hall?"
"The . . . Tendo . . . what now? Oh! You must mean the Tendragon Training Hall!"
"Eh . . . that'll work." Ryoga frowned.
"Come then lad! Come and see the glorious capital city of Rubadub, the city Bubblybub."
"Who names these cities?" Ryoga asked. Genmalot ignored him.

Sounthur Tendragon sat in the Tendragon Training Hall with his three daughters, Kasumian, Nabiatrix and Arkane. He had been meaning to change their names. Or at least Arkane's.
With him were his finest knights and his beautiful new wife (the old one stopped working and had to be buried) Nodokavere. Despite being surrounded by friends and family he was greatly distressed. "The blasted dragon keeps terrorizing my people! What am I to do?"
"Send a brave knight to slay it!" Arkane cried.
"Nay! Doth ye not remember what cruel fate befell sir Mikadahad?"
"Yes, it was quite entertaining." Nabiatrix shrugged.
"Perhaps we could try a more powerful knight." Nodokavere offered.
"Yes! Sir Genmalot is the finest knight in the land! I shall send him!" Sounthur declared.
"Er . . . no, he's sorely needed here." Nodokavere sighed. "But perhaps another knight . . ."
"Alas, what other Knights are there? The dragon has eaten all but Genmalot, none of the others can be spared and cursed wizard Happerlin went mad when lady's undergarments were invented." Sounthur began to wipe tears from his eyes.
"M'lord! I have returned from my patrol!" Genmalot announced, marching down the hall.
"Eh . . . patrol of what?" Sounthur frowned.
"I . . . patrolled . . . er . . . I have returned from my patrol." Genmalot tried again.
"Wonderful!" Sounthur cried.
"And I have with me a strange young stranger."
"Not another one! I told you Genmalot, no more threesomes!" Nodokavere cried. Everyone stared at her. "Eh . . . is what . . . I would be saying . . . if er . . . if I were having an affair with Genmalot and of course . . . I . . . am not."
"Queen Nodokavere!" Kasumian cried.
"You're not fooling anyone old lady." Nabiatrix sighed.
"Now, now girls, you know your new mother enjoys role play, no doubt she was role-playing the part of the mistress of Genmalot, our bravest and most attractive knight."
"You're in denial, daddy." Arkane sighed.
"And you three are all confined to your quarters!" Queen Nodokavere cried.
The three young women stomped off.
Sounthur looked at the young stranger. He was brawny, dressed in strange garments and had no weapon. He had with him a strange black and white wolf. "Who art thou?"
"Come again?"
"Ah! Young master Come Again. It is a pleasure."
"You are mistaken my lord, his name is Saotome. Mr. Saotome." Genmalot interrupted.
"What? Why did you lie to me?" Sounthur demanded.
"I didn't! My name is Ryoga! I'm not Mr. Saotome, and I'm not Come Again."
"Who are you then?"
"I'm Ryoga! Don't you recognize me?"
"Hmm . . . you do resemble . . . no. No I have never seen you before in my life . . . and yet . . . no . . . no I don't recognize you." Sounthur struggled with that simple question.
"What business have ye in our fine kingdom?" Nodokavere asked.
"I was trying to go home, but then a tornado blew me away, so now I'm trying to find the Tendo Training Hall so I can challenge Ranma Saotome to a duel, a fight to the death as I do just about every week." Ryoga said.
"Y-you have faced Ranma and lived to tell about it?" Soun cried.
"Uh . . . yeah." Ryoga frowned.
"You face Ranma once a week no less?" Nodokavere demanded.
"Well no, I challenge him once a week. For reasons beyond my control I don't actually show up at each one and I'm often weeks late. But once a month at least, I have fought him once a month for a while now." Ryoga said.
Sounthur squealed. "Wonderful! You will be our savior! Our champion! You will fight Ranma and save our kingdom!"
"Wait . . . you want me to fight Ranma to save your kingdom? Are we talking about the same Ranma here? The Ranma I know doesn't have anything to do with your kingdom."
"Nonsense!" Sounthur cried. "Ranma was once a brave young prince engaged to my daughter Arkane, but then some evil magic turned him into a giant evil dragon, he's been terrorizing my kingdom! Digging up lawns, chasing cats and knocking over trash cans with a single swish of his tail!"
"Are you sure you're not thinking of a dog?" Ryoga asked.
"Of course, those haven't been invented yet." Sounthur said.
Ryoga looked at him and blinked. "So I have to destroy Ranma the dragon? Not Ranma Saotome the human? What do I get out of this? Are you going to take me home if I do it? Offer me lordship? Give me a sword or something?" Ryoga demanded.
"I do love it when they expect simple payment! I can grant you a night and a day in the bed of my wife like I gave that last guy to save my kingdom!"
Ryoga looked at Nodokavere and shook his head. "I think I'll pass." He said.
"Then take one of my fine young daughters, the kingdom's virgin princesses! Er . . . incidentally only two of them really *are* virgins! I'm not sure which two, so you might end up with the non-virgin . . . whatever those are called."
"Huh? What?"
"WWWEEEE! I have my knight! Daughters! Daughters come!"
"Yes father?" Kasumian said.
"Ready to sign the kingdom over to me and die?" Nabiatrix asked.
"Can I be fitted for chainmail?" Arkane asked.
"Behold our savior! The valiant Knight Sir Ryoga!"
"Sir Ryoga of what?" Nabiatrix scowled. "Don't tell me he's so poor he cant afford a tittle. Bah, I'll be saved by no poor knights."
"Er . . ." Sounthur inspected the young man. "Er . . ." he looked at the wolf. "Fang! Sir Ryoga of Wolf Fang."
"What a lame title." Nabiatrix scowled. "Now sign the papers old man!"
"Nonsense! Girls this is our savior, he has fought Ranma and lived to tell of it, what more he eagerly plans to do so again. So I will give him one of you as a wife, so that he can know how grateful the kingdom is for his bravery."
"Right! What?" Ryoga frowned.
"Well . . . hmm . . . is he rich?" Nabiatrix asked.
"If he can afford to dress so badly, he must be." Kasumian noted.
"Hey!" Ryoga protested.
"But he'll probably die if he fights Ranma again!" Arkane cried. "I don't want to be a widow twice!"
"Twice?" Ryoga seemed confused.
"Hey yeah! He probably *will* die!" Nabiatrix said with excitement. "Leaving his fortune to his darling wife!"
"WAK!" Ryoga was running around in circles now. Sounthur wasn't exactly sure why . . .
"I'll marry him!" Kasumian proclaimed.
"Hey! I was gonna-" Nabiatrix protested.
"Shouldn't he choose?" Arkane asked.
"Indeed! Young man choose your wife." Sounthur said.
"Er . . . hmm . . . you all look exactly like people from my own town . . . and your names resemble theirs . . . so I'm going to guess that your personalities are the same . . . to test this out I shall ask each one a question."
"Go ahead." Sounthur nodded.
"Kasumi-look-alike, if you had the choice would you rather cook or sleep?"
"Cook!"
"Nabiki-look-alike, if you had the choice between marrying a very handsome man with no money and a hideous man with a lot of money who would you-"
"I'd marry the hideous man, murder him then take the handsome one as my man-slave-thing!" Nabiatrix scowled.
"So shockingly and disturbingly similar . . ." Ryoga frowned. "Akane resembling one! If you had the choice between fighting for honor or having children and being a contented house wife which would you choose?"
"So women cant be fighters and wives as well! You sexist monster!" Arkane cried.
"Eh . . . right. Okay, they are *just* like the ones I know. I want to marry Arkane." Ryoga nodded.
"Oh . . . I'm afraid I cant allow that, she's in mourning for Ranma." Sounthur said.
"Eh? Curse you Ranma! Fine then, Kasumi, she can cook."
"Kasumian? Congratu-no . . . no she's engaged to the Chiropractor."
"Darn it!" Ryoga sighed. "Fine then, Nabiki."
"Who?"
"The middle one with the nice rack." Ryoga clarified.
"Oh! Oh Nabiatrix! Nice choice, I'm sixty percent sure she's the virgin."
"Hey!" Nabiatrix yelped.
"Oh . . . sorry, eighty percent."
"Bah! As if some one as pretty as me would be a virgin!" Nabiatrix said with a sarcastic tone Sounthur just didn't catch.
"GAH!" Sounthur's jaw dropped. "What? What!"
"Wait, isn't she engaged to Principal Regent Kunobir's son?" Genmalot scratched his head.
"Oh right!" Sounthur yelped. "Sorry, she's not available either." He looked at Nabiatrix. "How could you forget you were engaged?"
"I didn't. I was hoping you had." Nabiatrix shrugged. "I don't like him very much." She grumbled. "Always spouting poetry and playing with that stupid wooden sword of his!"
"My daughters are all engaged, you'll have to choose something else." Sounthur apologized.
"Right . . . so . . . eh . . . can my reward be going home then?" Ryoga asked.
"OH! Of course! Why didn't you ask for that in the first place? Honestly, demanding one of my daughters, you brute!" Sounthur cried.
"What? I didn't demand-curse you Mr. Tendo-like person! Just point me towards the dragon! Oh . . . and maybe give me a guide . . ."
"We'll give you a detailed map." Sounthur said.
"No, I think I'm going to need a guide." Ryoga said. "You see . . . I can't really eh . . . never mind just give me a bleeding guide!"
"Right. Guide!" Sounthur cried. The guide from the ground of accursed springs showed up. "You are to guide Ryoga of Fang to the lair of Ranma and then come back with news of his victory, or his charred lifeless body, whichever." Sounthur said.
"Yes my king!"
"Oh, and one other thing. He wanted a bloody guide, so . . . Genmalot, if you could do the honors."
"Right my liege." Genmalot chased after the frantic guide with his axe.
"Eh-no! No I didn't mean bloody, I mean healthy, completely healthy with all his limbs!" Ryoga cried.
"Oh . . . eh . . . right." Sounthur said as Genmalot chased the guide out of the chamber. "I wonder if Sir Genmalot heard that . . . oh well. We shall give you a new guide. Who volunteers?" Sounthur demanded of his knights.
No one moved.
"I'll take him." Arkane and Nabiatrix said together.
"Right fine, you can both go."
"Eh . . . husband, you really think it wise to send your two youngest daughters to their doom like that?"
"Eh? Oh nonsense, Ryoga will guard them." Sounthur glared at Ryoga. "You darn well better lad!"
"EEP!" Ryoga jumped.

"Well . .. we've got a big day ahead of us Checkers . . . escorting two princesses while they escort us to the fiery keep of the Dragon called Ranma . . . it's sickening how much this place resembles Nerima . . . maybe we're in some alternate universe." Ryoga muttered.
"Egads you stupid fool! You went back in time!" Happosai said.
"Eh . . . did you have to call me stupid *and* a fool?" Ryoga frowned.
"Silence! I am Happerlin! Mystical wizard of this palace!" Happosai scowled. "And I was the one who created the Dragon called Ranma, and it was I who transported you back here to defeat him."
"Say what now?"
"It is a complicated story."
"Then don't tell it." Ryoga said.
"But I must. Anyway a few months ago prince Ranmorgan of the kingdom Dirt was engaged to princess Arkane of Rubadub, and I didn't want them to wed, for you see I greatly desire princess Arkane to be my own wife."
"Right. I'm going to sleep now." Ryoga said.
"Silence! If they wed the two kingdoms would become one, they would become the kingdom of Clean!"
"Huh?"
"If you scrub dirt it becomes clean." Happosai-er Happerlin said.
"Oh . . . right."
"Anyway I turned Ranmorgan into a vicious two headed dragon and now I can no longer control him. Now I need you to defeat him. Do it, and I will make it so you can marry princess Arkane."
"That doesn't interest me as much as going home." Ryoga noted.
"Then I'll fix it so you can go home. And I will cure you of your magical curse."
"Deal!" Ryoga cried.
"Good!" Happerlin said with a wicked sneer.

Meanwhile . . .
"Nabiatrix," Arkane said, "why do you want to go with Sir Ryoga? Do you still want to marry him?"
"Of course not! But I got to thinking . . . Prince Ranmorgan has been turned into a dragon, yes?"
"Indeed." Arkane nodded.
"And dragons have hordes of gold, yes?" Nabiatrix grinned.
"Yes, but they are jealously guarded, you'd have to kill the dragon to get even a coin!"
"That's what Sir Ryoga is for. Even if he doesn't kill the dragon, his noble sacrifice will distract your ex-fiancée long enough for me to make off with some of the gold. And if Sir Ryoga pulls through and becomes a hero he wont have any need for *all* the gold anyway. Indeed, I doubt he even knows about it, so no matter what happens I stand to make some money."
"Or die trying." Arkane noted.
"Don't worry, I'll have you to shield me from the fire as I run for my life."
"Right . . . hey!"

To Be Continued . . .

I wrote this a while ago but didn't put it up because of the character names. I'm still not 100% comfortable with them, but I couldn't just call them all by their real names now could I? Anyway I also no longer care if you don't find the names funny, 'cause neither do I. Remember to review you silly earth monkeys!