CommisarGordon: I theoretically do commissions, but you'd have to make an account to talk to me about it. I also don't want to take on too many and then end up getting nothing done. As for prices… too many variables to post a price list, everything would be determined on a case by case basis.

Also, the next chapter of "Metagaming?" is nearing completion. Would have been done already, but I kind of blundered the middle a bit and had to rewrite some things, which delayed me.

This chapter was beta-ed by Joe Lawyer, all hail.

XXXXX

Shikamaru woke up at around 5 AM, as usual these days.

Being deprived of a computer could drive a man to all sorts of heresy, such as a consistent sleep schedule and an active lifestyle. It was almost like being a kid again, back when the real world was the most interesting thing around.

Well, he was a kid again, so that fit pretty well.

After contorting himself in ways that would make his old body beg for mercy simply for the pleasure of it – the lack of various accumulated aches and pains had never gotten old – he heaved himself out of bed and did a few more stretches to get the blood flowing.

Then he quickly got through his morning ablutions in his personal bathroom and ambled outside to get in some training.

His fellow Nara thought him an unnatural abomination for getting up this early when he didn't have to, but he just couldn't stay in bed any longer, not after going to sleep at around 8 PM.

He had known that going through puberty again would be a pain in the ass, but he had been thinking of rampant hormones, pimples and a cracky voice and completely forgot about the constant desire for more sleep and food. It took him nine hours of sack time to feel properly rested. He used to be wide awake after six or seven.

Granted, he could have gone to bed later instead of waking up so early, but he was more of a morning person than a night owl and there was nothing to actually do that would keep him up. The Elemental Nations had a severe dearth of frivolous distractions. Civilian children his age would be taught their parents' trades and he was already considered an adult as of yesterday.

So technically, he was being a responsible adult, which was funny because he still hadn't felt like a proper adult in his past life unto the day he died.

Maybe there was something to the old belief that a man wasn't a man until he killed something and fucked a girl? He never did get around to the killing part the first time around, thanks to all that pesky civilization and its rules.

But this was no time to be musing on the deleterious effects a lack of male rite of passage into adulthood might have! It was time to train his edgelord powers.

The Nara shadow techniques were definitely among the more esoteric shinobi abilities. The most basic technique, the Shadow Imitation, connected the chakra systems of the user and the target by using their linked shadows as a bridge.

Shikamaru had not been happy with this technique, deeming it to have too many downsides. The stronger the chakra of the target or targets was, the more chakra it would take to hold them in place, to say nothing of how it limited his own mobility.

It wasn't useless, but it was vastly inferior to the more advanced techniques that gave the shadows some kind of physical substance. Unfortunately, he had been denied access to those techniques thus far.

Apparently, the clan didn't allow just anyone, even the heir apparent, access to those if they weren't shinobi. Something about it being irresponsible and dangerous-. Hopefully the elders would stop being such stiffs about it now that he'd graduated.

That was part of the reason that he'd pioneered the Hiding-in Shadows technique in the first place – a desire to practice something other than the Shadow Imitation.

Taking a deep breath out of sheer habit, Shikamaru molded his chakra into Yin release and connected it to his shadow, making it deep instead of trying to stretch it out. With the abundant pre-dawn darkness, it was easily done and he slipped inside.

Seeing out his shadow pockets was always a bit weird, almost like watching a TV screen. Moving around was even weirder, in the sense that there was technically no solid footing and he had to 'swim' through the darkness.

He spent the time he had until dawn improving his speed and chakra efficiency and when the first rays of sunlight started burning away his territory, trying to jump between them without leaving his shadow space.

No dice, though. Shadow teleportation just didn't seem to be possible with this technique.

Feh, he'd figure something out eventually, because teleportation was too overpowered to not have.

But now that he had some proper light contrast…

Shikamaru kicked a tree and started chasing the shadows of the fallen leaves, working to improve his speed and precision with the more traditional Nara techniques.

XXXXX

Breakfast, the most important meal of the day. Also a time of long-settled awkwardness between mother and son.

Shikamaru didn't mean to cause his mother in this world distress, but it was kind of unavoidable when he couldn't properly bond with her the way a normal child would…

He had tried to act his physical age at first, but the effort of doing so had exhausted him inside of a day. After that he had just resigned himself to being a very unusual child. He had no doubt that Yoshino felt like she'd been cheated out of a proper motherhood experience. Children were supposed to be cute, not… whatever he was.

"When are you meeting your team?" She asked.

"In about an hour." He answered. "Asuma-sensei said he'll be taking us on our first mission."

More like their first chore, but Shikamaru would take it gladly. In fact, he would much prefer to keep doing D-ranks until he retired.

The S-rank shinobi Nara Shikamaru, who leaves no grass uncut, no dog unwalked and no cat unfound. All shall know him and despair. Tutorial mode for the win.

Alas that the world wasn't going to consult him as to when he was comfortable leaving the tutorial, or allow him to set the difficulty.

Why couldn't I have gotten Isekaid into a gamer world? The rules are so much easier to abuse when you know what they are.

"That's nice." Yoshino said, interrupting his lamentations. She gave him a smile that came across as a combination of sad, hopeful and supportive.

"Yeah."

Awkwaaaaard.

If he recalled correctly, this woman was supposed to be forceful, overbearing and sometimes downright tyrannical, but that had been when she had a passive and lazy husband to deal with. As a single mother taking care of a decidedly abnormal kid, she seemed almost desperate to appear approachable.

But Shikamaru just had no way to really close the distance between them. He didn't dare tell her why he was so weird and he didn't have the usual emotional needs that a child would have, nor could he fake them.

XXXXX

Potatoes.

A staple food of western civilization, originating from either South or North America. Probably South. Corn had come from the North, right? Not that they were mutually exclusive, but he was pretty sure potatoes were from the South.

Where the Elemental Nations got them was anyone's guess. His questions on the subject only got him confused shrugs. For all he knew, Kaguya had one day decided to yoink a barrel of seeds from another dimension on a random whim.

Whatever the case, they were here now, pulling potatoes out of the ground.

"Shikamaru!" Came his sensei's bellow. "Stop daydreaming and get back to work!"

Lazy bastard was chilling on the side with the elderly farmer that had issued the D-rank, both of them smoking while the three genin worked.

"Sorry, Sensei. I was just contemplating the origin of potatoes." Shikamaru said honestly.

"They come from potato seeds." Ino said snidely, clearly irritated.

The blonde was not at all happy to be doing this. Not because she thought she was too pretty to work in the dirt – Ino actually loved gardening – but because she'd been all hyped up for a real mission.

Still, that kind of sass couldn't go unanswered, so Shikamaru reached out and pinched her ass.

"Shikamaru!" Ino yelped, blushing furiously and staring at him in shock.

Shikamaru just grinned. His mental age made pinching a twelve-year-old girl's ass a hilarious private joke.

"What?" He challenged his teammate, knowing that she wasn't really upset.

"Just… stop screwing around and get back to work!" Ino snapped to cover her embarrassment and turned her back on him.

Being a full grown man in the body of a small child had been incredibly tedious, but they were finally at the fun parts. Like just about anyone else, he had sometimes daydreamed what it would be like if he got to relive his younger years with a more mature mindset.

Children just had so many fucks to give that they cared about what everyone thought. It was a rather stressful existence.

He never would have had the balls to pinch a girl's ass the first time around for example, especially a girl like Ino, who would no doubt have been the most popular girl around. This time around, he was blessedly liberated of any unspoken social conventions.

Too bad about that 'mature mindset' thing, though.

Behold the field where I grow mine fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it. Thou shall see that it grows only potatoes.

"I think I like potatoes better when I'm eating them." Chouji huffed.

"As do we all, buddy, as do we all." Shikamaru commiserated. "At least Ino looks cute with that dirt smudge on her nose."

"What?!" The blonde girl stammered, instinctively covering her nose. "Sh-Shikamaru!"

It was like going back to the noob area with a level fifty character. Ino was a very confident twelve-year-old girl, but she was still twelve. If he had been standoffish and unresponsive, she would have felt safe being aggressively pushy with her interest, but because he was receptive and flirty she got flustered and defensive.

Girls, such contradictory creatures.

XXXXX

It was well after noon by the time their 'mission' was done and all three of them were getting hungry again.

"To celebrate our first completed mission together, how about I take you to Yakiniku Q? My treat." Asuma suggested.

"We accept!" Chouji immediately exclaimed, far more energetic than usual.

"You have awoken the beast." Shikamaru intoned.

"Chouji, don't just accept for all of us because you want to stuff your face on someone else's money!" Ino yelled.

Honestly, the girl got far too wound up over other people's personal habits and quirks.

"It's fine." Shikamaru said and put his hand on the small of her back.

Ino immediately snapped out of her irritation and stared at him shyly. "Okay."

Watching from the sidelines, Asuma grinned in amusement at seeing how the Nara kid was handling the loud blonde girl. He'd have to make sure that this budding romance didn't interfere with their duties, but otherwise he was already looking forward to the fun he'd have teasing them.

They made it to the restaurant without issue and took a table. Shikamaru and Ino took one side, while Asuma and Chouji took the other. The chubby boy started acting more hyper than Naruto in anticipation of food, but the jounin-sensei just smirked at the other two members of his team.

"So…?" The bearded man drawled, staring and Shikamaru. "You and Ino?"

"Mind your own business, Sensei!" An embarrassed Ino roared.

Shikamaru put a hand on her thigh under the table, withholding a grin at the way she jerked in place and froze.

"Why so interested, Sensei?" He asked calmly, not particularly embarrassed. His one and only girlfriend in his past life had been a classmate when they got together and the teasing back then had been much worse. "Looking for tips for your own love life? What's her name?"

The jounin looked just a bit startled at the lack of reaction and the retaliation, but still gave a dry retort of his own. "I think I'll manage just fine on my own."

"Oh? So there is someone?" Shikamaru pressed the attack, knowing that it would trigger Ino's gossip queen senses.

"Who is she?" The blonde demanded eagerly, although her face was still red.

Shikamaru had never stopped rubbing her thigh.

"Never you mind." Asuma wondered how it was that he found himself on the defensive. Weren't twelve-year-olds supposed to be awkward?

"Come on now, don't be shy, Sensei." Shikamaru was the one smirking now. "We could go on a double date."

"D-d-date?!" Ino stuttered, staring at him wide-eyed.

"Mhm." He hummed and side-eyed their sensei. "Unless Asuma-sensei is ashamed of this girl of his…?"

"Of course I'm not ashamed of her." The jounin said indignantly. "It's just that we're not quite dating yet."

"Just walk up to her and ask." Shikamaru advised, deliberately sliding his hand a little bit further up Ino's thigh. "Women like men with confidence."

Easy for me to say, I've got a few extra decades of life experience to draw on and my target is an inexperienced twelve-year-old. He privately acknowledged. Good thing he was the same physical age or this would definitely be straying into the realms of pedophilia. Loopholes, ahoy!

"Y-yeah!" Ino corroborated, blush deepening.

"I'll keep that in mind." Asuma said drily, obviously not taking a pair of twelve-year-olds seriously. "Now how about you two cool it a little with the flirting? This is a public space."

"Of course." Shikamaru acknowledged and removed his hand from his teammate's thigh. "Sorry if I've made you uncomfortable, Ino."

"It's okay." The blonde said, regaining some of her confidence and relaxing now that he wasn't feeling her up.

The waitress arrived, greeting Asuma with familiarity. "Asuma! Welcome back. Is this the team you mentioned you would be getting?"

"That's right." Their sensei confirmed. "Kids this is Sayu. Sayu, these are Nara Shikamaru, Yamanaka Ino, and Akimichi Chouji."

A few pleasantries were exchanged and then she asked what they wanted to order.

"Meat!" Chouji declared enthusiastically. Clearly, it had been on his mind the whole time, to the point where it was in question whether he paid any attention at all to the previous conversation.

What are you, Monkey D. Luffy? Shikamaru thought bemusedly as the order was made a bit more specific.

"Alright, I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere." Sayu said with a flirty wink and sashayed away, deliberately swaying her hips.

Ino didn't miss the waitress' obvious interest and zeroed in on it like a guided ballistic missile. "Is she your secret crush, Sensei?"

"What? No, Sayu is just being friendly." Asuma waved off.

But Shikamaru knew better, and he knew that Asuma knew. Sayu was definitely angling for something and he could guess what it was.

There were an awful lot of women whose mysteriously vague husbands had supposedly 'died in the line of duty' in the Nara clan and he would bet that most other clans had the same situation. If he was his actual age he wouldn't have thought anything of it – being a shinobi was a dangerous profession after all – but he was too cynical to fall for that one.

A good chunk of those women were probably one night stands that got pregnant. Ninja were still human and still liked to fuck, after all.

If the shinobi clans were regular noble families, bastard children would be a problem because they would complicate the lines of succession, but ninja were a practical sort. They couldn't let bloodlines get out of their control and killing them would be stupidly wasteful, so the obvious thing to do was quietly induct those one night stands into the clan and claim that the children belonged to some random male clan member who didn't actually exist.

But there was only so well that something like that could be hidden and it had obviously become something of an open secret, hence this waitress flirting with their sensei. No doubt she would prefer if he actually got interested in her, but Shikamaru thought that she would accept getting knocked up and living life on easy street as a Sarutobi clan 'widow' just as well.

Almost all the wealth in the village was owned by the ninja clans, and every clan used to be its own village with its own infrastructure. They might all be part of the entity that was 'Konoha' in regards to outside threats, but internally they were as fractured as it gets. Some people in the clans, notably the non-combatants, had never even left the compounds.

It could even be said that the non-clan civilians and ninja acted as a buffer zone between the clans, as the clans were acutely sensitive about their territory. The Nara had trained freaking deer to sense chakra and attack anyone that didn't have or wasn't with someone who had the distinctive Nara chakra signature for fuck's sake.

Just thinking of how much effort that took for the clan of notoriously lazy bastards told you all you needed to know about the matter.

Shikamaru had as of yet not been able to confirm this, but he was pretty sure that the non-clan women of the village frequently tried to baby trap any male ninja from the clans.

It made him wonder if Asuma was really Konohamaru's uncle, seeing as the kid's parents were never mentioned in the anime.

"Hey, Sensei, how old are you?" Shikamaru asked.

"Twenty-seven. Why?" Asuma asked, curious about the out-of-the-blue question.

How old was Konohamaru at this point again? Eight? Nine? Something in that ballpark. Either way, Asuma would have been exactly the right age for a 'youthful indiscretion' that he didn't want to take responsibility for. And with his father being Hokage, sweeping it under the rug would have been the easiest thing in the world.

"Just curious." Shikamaru shrugged.

XXXXX

"I can't believe Chouji ate three whole portions." Ino complained with a sort of disbelieving exasperation.

"A story of true love between a man and his food." Shikamaru said sagely.

"Well his 'true love' put him out of commission for the rest of the day." The blonde scoffed.

Indeed, Chouji had stuffed his face with so much barbeque that they had needed to half-carry him home, moaning and groaning in pain the whole way.

"She also cost Asuma-sensei a lot of money." He hummed. "Truly, Barbeque-chan is a woman with no morals."

That surprised a giggle out of her. "Don't let Chouji hear you say that or he'll challenge you to a duel to defend his lady's honor."

"He might actually do that." Shikamaru agreed, knowing how seriously the Akimichi take their food.

"Would you defend my honor?" Ino asked shyly.

"You're a kunoichi now, Ino, you're not supposed to have honor." He retorted drily, evading the question.

"You know what I mean!" She huffed, slapping his arm.

"Hmmm, I don't think it's my place to defend your honor." He hummed thoughtfully. "I mean, it's not like we're in a relationship or anything."

Ino's face suddenly acquired an angry red coloration. "Then what was that back in the restaurant?!"

"You're pretty cute when you're angry, you know that?" Shikamaru smirked.

Ino instantly lost steam and sputtered. Ah, the joys of being a New Game+ character with hidden knowledge, charisma and wisdom modifiers.

"Anyway, that in the restaurant was me returning your obvious interest." He continued, flustering her yet again by calling out her crush so blatantly. "So, you want to go on a date with me?"

"Yes." Ino squirmed, apparently trapped somewhere between awkward and pleased. "But this wasn't romantic at all!"

Damn right it wasn't. Shikamaru had brought a lot of advantages with him from his previous life, but an affinity for sappy romance was not one of them. He knew that Ino was big on flowers and their meanings, so maybe he could do something with that, but he really didn't want her to start expecting grand romantic gestures at every step, so it was best to keep it low key.

"Cool. Come on, let's go see if Team Seven is already done with their exam. I want to either congratulate Naruto for passing or mock him for failing." Because that's what friends do.

"Are you ignoring what I said?" Ino asked/demanded, trailing after him.

He pretended not to hear and kept walking.

"Shikamaru?"

Hmm, had romance really been a good idea? With a new chance at life and a renewed burst of puberty, it had certainly seemed that way, but did he really want to deal with Ino's juvenile craving for teenage drama?

"SHIKAMARU!"

Eh, it should be fine. Their profession didn't really allow for long-term brattiness and he liked to think himself pretty patient.

XXXXX

Their first C-rank arrived faster than expected. It was barely two weeks since graduation. Perhaps he should have expected it, given that D-ranks were mostly meant as a way for newly formed teams to get used to working together and they had that covered already.

Still, Shikamaru was nervous. Noticeably so.

"Being vigilant is good, but there's no need to be that tense." Asuma said amusedly. "You're acting like you're expecting us to get jumped at any moment."

"I suppose it is unlikely." He conceded. The odds of a fresh genin team getting into a fight with A or S-rank ninja was very low… as long as you weren't a shounen protagonist. Perhaps basing his expectations on what was likely to happen to Naruto was a bit unrealistic.

"Honestly, I'm surprised." The jounin continued conversationally. "Out of the three of you, I figured you would be the most relaxed."

"Shikamaru takes being a ninja very seriously." Ino said proudly.

If you can call being bored and not wanting to die yet 'taking things seriously'... Shikamaru thought to himself, holding back a snort. He trained a lot because chakra superpowers were cool and there was literally nothing else to do that interested him.

Then there was that whole 'karmic balance' thing. Granted, the asshole god-thing might have been full of shit and there was no such thing – in fact, the odds were fairly high seeing as it took the form of Optimus Prime and then blathered on about a Hindu/Buddhist religious concept – but the bottom line was that some irresponsibly powerful asshole was playing silly buggers with his existence and might be tempted to do worse next time if he lived another 'unimpressive and inoffensive life'.

Coincidentally, that was another factor in his paranoia about how this mission might go.

"Good to hear, but there shouldn't be any trouble on this one." Asuma chuckled, lighting up a cigarette. "Just a simple escort mission."

XXXXX

"Welcome to my home, Shinobi-san." The client greeted them, smiling tightly in a way that felt condescendingly superior, but in a more general sense than towards them in particular.

Shikamaru had never met an aristocrat before and was already wishing that the trend could have continued. This guy was annoying to be around even when he was just being himself.

"An honor to be here, Hanamura-dono." Asuma returned the greeting neutrally, probably not meaning a word of it.

"Yes." The nobleman nodded as if to say that of course it was an honor to be in his presence. "Now that you are here, we can get underway and escort my Yuriko-chan to her new home."

Shikamaru eyeballed the girl in question. She looked to be around seventeen or eighteen, with the traditional Japanese dark hair and dark eyes. She was also sitting in traditional seiza just behind and to the side of her father, but the dull, downcast look on her pretty face was pretty much screaming how much she hated what was going on.

The father also seemed to be in something of a hurry, not even affording them a chance to rest or offering them something to eat or drink. Either he was one of those 'shinobi are just tools' people or he was worried about something.

"Are we expecting any trouble?" Asuma asked shrewdly.

"Perhaps." The client said vaguely, frowning. "One of my guards turned out to be a scoundrel and attempted to make off with Yuriko along with several of his cohorts. They were driven off, but may try again while we are on the road."

Given the look on the girl's face, Shikamaru got the distinct impression that this attempted kidnapping would be better described as a rescue mission from her perspective.

Did I just get cast as a mid-level villain in some feel-good Disney bullshit about true love?

"My students will be able to handle that easily, and I'll be here in case they managed to bring in any extra help." Asuma said confidently, like the Disney villain's main enforcer that he was.

"As expected of Konoha shinobi." The shitty Disney parent smiled in satisfaction, giving the three genin a quick once over. "Kunoichi-san may ride in the carriage with my daughter."

"I will protect your daughter with my life, Hanamura-dono." Ino said politely and confidently, but Shikamaru could see the uncertainty in her. She had noticed that something was off as well.

"See that you do." Hanamura said, a clear tone of dismissal in his voice. "Let us be off. The sooner we deliver my daughter to the daimyo, the better."

Ah, the daimyo. Who was married. There was realistically only one thing that the married ruler of the Land of Fire could want a pretty young girl for.

Shikamaru took a deep breath and just… sighed.

Troublesome. This world was really bringing him in touch with the traditions of his new family.

XXXXX

"I don't like this, Shikamaru." Chouji said with an uncharacteristic frown on his face.

They had been walking for hours already and should be keeping an eye out for possible hostiles, but the chubby boy clearly felt a need to talk about the mission.

"Neither do I." Shikamaru shrugged. "But a mission is a mission."

The Akimichi boy's frown deepened further.

"I thought we'd be saving princesses." He muttered.

Shikamaru sighed. Yeah, all the indoctrination propaganda in the Academy had been about protecting people against 'evil' enemy ninja and daring espionage missions to get vital intelligence that would save the day. Even assassinations had been framed as killing off the bad guys.

"We might be saving her from herself." He said with another shrug.

"Huh?" Chouji blinked at him owlishly.

"She's lived a very sheltered life." Shikamaru pointed out. "Running away with a handsome guard to escape life as a concubine might sound romantic, but what happens after that? How will the guard, now a criminal, support her? Are they going to live as bandits in the woods? She'd probably regret running off with him the first time she had to take a bath in a cold stream or shit in a bush."

The chubby boy had obviously not thought about it from that angle and the doubt on his face cleared up. "That's a good point. You're really smart, Shikamaru."

They split back up and returned to their vigilant watch of the surroundings.

Of course, it could also be that she carefully considered the situation and decided that giving up her privileged life would be a worthy sacrifice. Shikamaru mused privately. Not knowing anything about their charge or her level of intelligence, it was impossible to say.

He was really hoping that she was just a spoiled brat with her head full of romantic nonsense. A vapid girl like that could hardly hope for better than a life of luxury with her only responsibility being to occasionally milk the daimyo's yogurt dispenser. He'd probably get bored of her in a month or two anyway.

About an hour after that conversation, it was Ino stomping up to him. The client had insisted on stopping for lunch, which meant that the sole kunoichi of the team got to spend some time outside Yuriko's carriage.

"We can't go through with this mission!" The blonde hissed at him quietly.

Shikamaru sighed yet again. "That's not for us to decide."

"Shikamaru, Yuriko deserves better than this!" She insisted. "It took me hours to get her to open up to me, but she's a smart girl. Too smart to be some pervy old man's plaything!"

Goodbye, sweet ignorance. I'll miss you. Shikamaru mourned. "Well unless you're willing – and able – to murder Asuma-sensei and become a missing-nin for her sake, I don't see what we can do."

The blonde recoiled at his sour retort and a hint of desperation entered her tone. "We could talk to Asuma-sensei about it, convince him to… I don't know, let that guard take her or something? Pretend that they got one over on us?"

A bunch of guys with no chakra training getting one over on a shinobi team, that was a good one. Maybe for an encore they could go give Uchiha Madara a wedgie or steal Kaguya's panties right off her backside.

… Did Kaguya even wear panties or at least one of those traditional fundoshi things, or did she let the kitty breathe? A mystery for the ages.

"Ino, Asuma-sensei used to be one of the daimyo's Twelve Fire Guardians. He knows what the girl is in for better than we do and is obviously not bothered by it." Shikamaru pointed out. "I don't think there's going to be any wiggling out of this one, not for her and not for us."

XXXXX

They had known that the attack would be coming ever since sussing out what the situation was. Young men had been risking their lives for women since the dawn of humanity. The odds of some lovesick guard deciding that Yuriko wasn't worth the trouble had always been low.

The journey to the capital would only take about two days, with a single night spent on the road. And so, when the 'surprise attack' came just before dawn on the second day, nobody was all that surprised. Conventional wisdom said that would be the optimal time to attack.

Their sensei had taken the first watch and Shikamaru had been voted as the unlucky bastard to get the second. The client had insisted on Ino sleeping next to his daughter, so Chouji got the third, but the reality of it was that all three genin were too tense to sleep at that point and kept watch together.

With their senses strained for any hint of the coming attack, the rustling in the tree line immediately caught their attention. Konoha shinobi were taught to move silently through the brush and to recognize when someone was failing to do it, so their supposed ambushers might as well be banging pots and pans together.

Shikamaru locked eyes with Chouji for a moment and the chubby boy give him a tiny nod to indicate that he had noticed them as well. Surreptitiously using the basic Clone technique to replace himself, Shikamaru vanished into the darkness around him and began making his way behind the 'ambushers' through it. Once he was in position, he waited for the fun to start, heart hammering in his chest from the adrenaline rush of his first real life or death battle.

Honestly, he was feeling pretty wound up despite knowing objectively that these guys probably weren't any kind of real threat.

They were just as nervous as him, though. He could see their hands shaking even in the pre-dawn gloom. They had to know that if their initial ambush didn't work out that they were dead. That was some impressive loyalty to their friend.

The sound of an owl echoed through the night, clearly fake if you knew what to listen to, and the two guys he was hiding behind nocked arrows to their bows. It was too dark and they were too far to notice that his clone was being suspiciously still, not even breathing in its feigned sleep.

But things went even more sideways than that.

The door of the carriage opened and their charge ran out, rushing towards the tree line. Shikamaru was surprised for only a moment before noticing that 'Yuriko' was moving a bit too quickly and smoothly for an untrained civilian in a heavy formal kimono. She ran right towards the source of the owl sound.

The two guys in front of him panicked and fired arrows at his clone. Shikamaru emerged from the darkness and knocked both of them out with swift hits to the back of the head.

Meanwhile, he could see Chouji twist away from the arrow aimed at him with deceptive nimbleness. Chakra training conferred plenty of passive benefits, among them being superhuman perception and reaction speed. With the chubby boy knowing that the attack was coming, there was never any chance of it landing. He charged towards the origin of it, not even bothering with any of his clan's ninjutsu. There was some yelling and the sound of a short scuffle and then all was quiet.

Shikamaru disarmed his two takedowns and hoisted them on one shoulder each. It was super awkward because they were grown men and he was a none-too-large twelve-year-old, but he was at least strong enough to carry them.

Chouji did the same for his own two and Ino brought what was likely the leader, now back to her normal appearance.

"Nice work." Asuma praised, showing up out of seemingly nowhere. "You handled that really well, all things considered."

Chouji and Ino preened at bit, but Shikamaru couldn't really bring himself to. Yeah, it was an ego boost to pull off their first successful counter ambush, but now that they'd caught these guys…

"Shinobi-san, what is going on?" Hanamura demanded to know, waddling out of his own carriage in his impractical kimono. "I heard yelling."

"These five tried to attack us and my students caught them." Asuma explained, gesturing to the 'ambushers'.

Said five men were now waking up, the knocks they'd taken only causing short-term unconsciousness.

"I see." Hanamura said, a pleased smile stretching across his lips. "So, you were brazen enough to try again, Hitoshi-kun."

The guy really was a Disney villain, he had the smug gloating tone down perfectly.

"I couldn't let you sell off Yuriko-chan like a cow in a marketplace." The now named leader of the ragtag band spat back.

"Fool, having one's daughter chosen to become the daimyo's concubine is a great honor for our family. I took you into my household and this is how you repay me?" Hanamura sneered, and turned to Asuma. "Kill them, Shinobi-san."

… That. Shikamaru had known that they couldn't lug around prisoners that had no value and they couldn't let them go either. Shinobi pragmatism said that killing them was the best thing to do. And that wasn't even taking into account the client's opinion on the matter.

Ino visibly flinched at the demand and directed pleading eyes to their sensei.

Useless. She had already tried to talk Asuma into arranging for a Disney happy ending to happen, only for the jounin to be unsympathetic. This was happening.

"My students will do it." Asuma stated casually. "This is a good a time as any to get your first kills."

Of course. Jounin were assigned genin teams so as to ease them into the shinobi lifestyle. Why would Asuma pass up on such a perfect chance to teach them a valuable lesson?

Somehow, that didn't really make Shikamaru feel better. He could rationalize it all he wanted, but his formative years had still been spent in a culture that shied away from bloodshed. No amount of cold logic was going to stop his hands from trembling at the thought of murdering someone just to get in some experience doing so.

Ino was just as distressed, albeit not for quite the same reasons. Her formative years had happened in a culture where killing was largely normalized and those formative years were still ongoing besides. However, she also had a strong romantic streak and it sat terribly wrong with her to be murdering Yuriko's 'true love' and then delivering her into a harem.

Chouji was the least affected of the three of them, but that wasn't saying much. He was no more enthused about their sensei's command than his teammates.

"But, Sensei…!"

"No, Ino." Asuma interrupted firmly, staring at her with hard eyes.

Shikamaru ran through his list of options.

Argue some more? It would make them look bad in front of the client and Asuma didn't seem like he would budge.

Refuse to obey? Asuma would just kill these five men himself and then possibly have them brought up for insubordination.

Try to save them? 0% chance of success and a fast way to be declared a missing-nin. If they got really lucky, Asuma would just kick their ass and not report what they did to the Hokage or the Shinobi Council, but they would still have dug a deep hole for themselves.

"Alright." Shikamaru said, clenching his fists several times in preparation.

Ino gave him a betrayed look, but he could only return one of helpless sympathy. This wasn't fun for him either, but compliance was the only realistic option.

"What is happening?" A young, female voice demanded. Yuriko had woken up and was now stepping out of the carriage.

Because of course she would. Why should anything about this be easy?

"You should go back inside, Yuriko-sama." The carriage driver urged, but the girl had already seen the five defeated men kneeling on the ground.

"Hitoshi?" She asked, full of hope and fear.

"Yuriko." The man spoke her name in tones of deep shame and regret. "I'm sorry."

The girl quickly figured out what was going on and tried to rush forward, but was restrained by the driver and her father. "Hitoshi!"

"Best get it over with." Asuma sighed, lighting up a cigarette. "It's not going to get any easier, trust me on that one."

Shikamaru stepped behind Hitoshi before their sensei could get any bright ideas about further toughening Ino up by making her kill half of the star-crossed lovers duo and grabbed the man by the head and chin.

He could have done it with a kunai, but that would get blood all over him. The Academy had taught them how to properly break someone's neck.

"Sorry about this." He felt compelled to say, despite knowing how useless the sentiment was, and quickly twisted the man's head around before he could chicken out.

A heavy sense of numb horror settled into his gut when the toppled over, warring with a completely inappropriate adrenaline rush when his lizard hindbrain detected distress and identified it as dangerous. There was the sound of four men angrily cursing at him and a woman wailing in his ears.

Ah, Yuriko had apparently managed to catch sight of what was happening after all. Lovely.

Being a Disney villain is kind of depressing. Shikamaru thought inanely, turning to look at his shaken teammates.

"Well done, Shikamaru." Asuma praised, unperturbed. "Alright, you two, pick one and kill him. I'll take the remaining two."

How considerate of him.

XXXXX

They made it to the capital without further issue and delivered a grieving young woman to her future harem life. The daimyo had been happy to see Asuma again and insisted on throwing a small feast in their honor.

Shikamaru didn't expect to have much of an appetite. Even if he wasn't a paragon of moral fiber, this entire mission sat very wrong with him. Once the initial emotional impact of his first kill had worn off, he was able to rationalize it away, because he wasn't a paragon of moral fiber, but the fact that he had been on the asshole side of things was harder to deal with.

He'd always been more of a 'don't mess with me and I won't mess with you' kind of guy. Being hired muscle for a greasy political maneuver driven by a man's lust for young girls was very far removed from that stance.

His teammates weren't happy about it either. Ino had been sullen and quiet ever since and Chouji had gone through his stash of snacks even faster than normal. Asuma had been kind of lukewarm on the mentoring, apparently preferring to give them time to process.

The three of them had gone for a walk through the daimyo's palace garden while their sensei and the daimyo got reacquainted and now sat quietly in one of its gazebos. The mood was not great at all and none of them were up for talking. Ino just scooted close to Shikamaru and he threw an arm over her shoulder while Chouji demolished the last of his stash.

The peaceful atmosphere of the vaguely depressed genin was interrupted by the arrival of a strangely frantic-looking brown cat with an obnoxious red bow pinned to its ears. The feline ran up to them and, rather unusually, tried to cram itself behind their backs.

Given their location, Shikamaru had some suspicion as to who the cat belonged to.

"Tora-chan! Tora-chaaan! Where are youuuu?" A strident voice approached.

Suspicion confirmed.

The cat hissed and flung itself out of the gazebo, running as if Hell itself was on its heels. Maybe it was.

The manifestation of said Hell waddled into view a couple of minutes later, layers of fat covered in expensive silk and thick makeup.

"Oh, you must be Asuma-kun's genin team." The corpulent woman said, surprised to see them. "I am Madam Shijimi, the daimyo's wife."

"A pleasure to meet you, Madam." Shikamaru lied, fully understanding why her cat would run as far as Konoha in its attempts to escape this hambeast's 'affections'.

"Did you see my darling Tora-chan come through here?" She asked, looking around.

"Who is Tora-chan?" He played dumb, subtly signaling his teammates to play along.

"My cat. She's brown and has an adorable red bow between her ears."

"We haven't seen any cats at all. Sorry, Madam." Shikamaru shook his head.

"Help me find her." The fat woman commanded. "I will pay the cost of a D-rank mission, of course."

"We aren't authorized to take missions." Shikamaru evaded. "Only Asuma-sensei can do that."

"Oh." Shijimi grumped, obviously displeased by the inconvenience. "I'll go talk to him, then."

The fat woman waddled off, body jiggling with every step. He hadn't seen anyone this fat since reincarnating, it was almost nostalgic. The Akimichi didn't count, they were all muscle beneath the chub.

"That poor cat." Ino spoke up after a few seconds, traces of humor in her tone.

"A truly cursed existence." Shikamaru agreed.

"You don't think Asuma-sensei is going to make us look for it, do you?" Chouji asked.

"Hard to say." Shikamaru frowned. "I guess it depends on how pissy that tub of lard would get if he refused."

It wasn't, after all, as if it was the money that would make such a mission unrefusable.

"I can't believe I was actually looking forward to spending some time in the capital." Ino huffed.

"A wretched hive of scum and villainy." Shikamaru quoted with a grin.

His teammates laughed a bit and the mood improved slightly.

It was not to last, however, as their sensei found them about half an hour later, looking distinctly unhappy.

"Come on, kids, get up. We're leaving." Asuma said without preamble.

Shikamaru raised a questioning eyebrow, making no motion to get up just yet. "I thought we were staying for the feast and setting off in the morning?"

"Plans change." The jounin responded shortly, making a hand gesture urging them to get a move on.

"Did something happen?" Ino asked, standing up and frowning in concern.

Asuma grimaced under their expectant stares, but finally decided to clarify. "You could say that. Yuriko killed herself. Hair ornament through the neck."

There was a moment of silent shock before Shikamaru replied in tones of droll sarcasm. "Surely not? Who could have possibly seen that coming?"

Yes indeed. Grieving, resentful people staring down a bleak future were usually too optimistic to consider suicide. Especially in a culture where it was considered honorable in certain situations.

"Stow the sarcasm, Shikamaru." Asuma retorted irritably. "We have to clear out so that the daimyo and Hanamura can cover up the scandal."

"There wouldn't be a scandal if they just left her alone." Ino muttered, not quietly enough to go unheard.

"Ino, I wasn't happy with this mission either, but we don't get to pick and choose what we want to do." The jounin said in exasperation. "If shinobi only did missions they were comfortable with, the hidden villages would never survive, then we'd be back to the warring clans era and things would be even worse."

And on that cheery thought, they quietly exited the capital, heading home with a missions that was technically completed successfully.

XXXXX

Early on in his quest to make the Konoha 12 (or 11, depending on Sasuke's meltdowns) friendlier with each other as a means of making the future less dicey, Shikamaru had realized a problem.

He was an introvert and simply wasn't very good at maintaining social bonds.

Fortunately, this conundrum had a solution. And that solution was to make the extremely extroverted, starved-for-contact orphan do most of the legwork in keeping the friendships going. Getting Naruto to do so was about as difficult as getting water to flow downhill. Thus, Shikamaru was spared the exhausting and frequently baffling task of maintaining friendships with more than one or two people. All he had to do was nod and agree to whatever the blond Jinchuuriki suggested – occasionally offering amendments if something was too out there – and it was smooth sailing.

That being said, this method did have its downsides. For one thing, it made the hyperactive blond the de facto 'leader' of the group. Good practice for his stated goal of being Hokage, but…

"Alright, is everyone clear on their role in Operation: Smack Some Sense Into Sasuke?" Naruto asked energetically.

… That. Nice alliteration, though.

"I remain unconvinced that this is a good idea." Shino spoke up.

"Nah, it's fine." Kiba dismissed the voice of wisdom. "We need to bring that smug bastard down a notch or two."

Shikamaru had gone over his memories, both of this life and what he could recall of the anime, to get a handle on Sasuke's personality and was a bit startled to discover that he actually wasn't that bad of a guy. In fact, he was remarkably patient and even-tempered… aside from that giant, brother-shaped berserk button he had. And the brother-shaped tunnel vision.

Then again, that was to be expected when said brother deliberately traumatizes you at a young age in some convoluted family redemption plot. Itachi was not a very smart man. They said he was, but he really wasn't. Or maybe this was a case of an idiot savant.

"Kakashi-sensei will never let us go on a C-rank unless we can start working as a team." Naruto argued, implicitly agreeing with Kiba. "And Sasuke only works with us when he really has to."

And there was the motivation for this 'mission'. The blond was getting frustrated that both Teams 8 and 10 had gone on a couple of C-ranks already while Team 7 was still stuck doing D-ranks in the village.

"Still, wearing masks and assaulting a Konoha shinobi seems like a good way to get stabbed by ANBU." The bug user pointed out.

"It should be fine." Shikamaru said, ignoring his own misgivings. "As long as Naruto cleared it with the Hokage… you did clear it with the Hokage, right? Like Shino, I, too, would prefer to remain unstabbed."

"Of course I talked to gramps about it!" Naruto said indignantly. "Now get ready to gang up on him so that Sakura and I can jump to the rescue and show him the power of teamwork!"

It was a plan worthy of a child, or perhaps the protagonist in a romantic comedy. Shikamaru didn't expect it to work, but maybe it would accomplish something, because this 'lone avenger' shtick of Sasuke's had way too high odds of ending really badly. There was no guarantee that Orochimaru would go out like a chump the way he did in the anime and Sasuke was kind of necessary for that whole business with Kaguya.

XXXXX

Sasuke was heading to a training ground after yet another frustrating day.

Their sensei was late as always and took them on a useless D-rank mission, as always.

His teammates… well, they weren't useless, he could admit that. Naruto was decently strong and quickly growing stronger using that trick with the shadow clones – which Sasuke was still annoyed at being told he couldn't use himself. Sakura was smart, if annoying with her persistent notions of romance.

Sasuke had no time for romance nor thought to spare for it. He had to avenge his clan and he had to do it himself. Even if they were a 'team', Naruto and Sakura weren't part of his revenge.

Deep down, in a place that he didn't acknowledge even to himself, he was also irrationally afraid that Itachi would come back and kill anyone else he got close to.

So he kept them at arm's length and trained alone, despite numerous invitations to hang out or train together. Today was another such day.

Or so he thought, because he had barely finished his warm up when he abruptly had to dodge a flurry of shuriken.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as six black-clad figures jumped in front of him. They had their faces completely covered, but by their height they obviously weren't adults. Four boys and two girls. What the hell was going on?

Before he could wonder about it any further, he had to dodge again and fend of a taijutsu assault by all of them. He might not be able to see their faces, but he could recognize their styles just fine.

Why the hell were his former classmates attacking him while disguised as some faceless enemy ninja?

Sasuke didn't ask, because this was actually a pretty good training. He'd never been up against so many people at once before and it was really hard to keep on top of things.

He had to keep retreating to keep from being surrounded and had taken a nasty kick to the side when he tried to counter-attack, so he was now a lot more cautious.

"Sakura, look!" A familiar, irritatingly loud voice announced in badly faked shock. "Sasuke is being attacked by villains. Let's go help him!"

"Right!" Sakura said, managing to sound somewhat more genuine.

Sasuke, however, could only jump back from his 'attackers' and stare at his teammates in deadpan.

"Alright, what's going on?" He demanded.

"What do you mean?" Sakura and I were just taking a walk when we saw you being attacked." Naruto explained unconvincingly.

It didn't help his credibility that said 'attackers' had stopped and were now just standing there awkwardly.

"Ah, give it up, Naruto." Shikamaru said with a shrug, pulling off his hooded mask. "It was always a bit of a longshot that it would work."

"But you said it was a good plan!" Naruto protested.

"I said it was a plan." Shikamaru corrected.

The blond pouted and Sasuke had just about enough.

"What was the point of this?" He demanded again.

"Those guys were going to jump you and then Sakura and I would come to back you up and you'd see the value of teamwork. Then Kakashi-sensei would finally start taking us on C-rank missions."

Sasuke was stunned by the abject stupidity of it all and could only stare.

"I just went along with it because I really wanted you to start working with us, Sasuke-kun." Sakura laughed nervously. "Sorry."

"I was roped into it by my teammates." Shino chimed in.

"I just wanted to smack you one." Kiba added his own brash justification.

Come to think of it, he had been the one to get that kick in, hadn't he?

Hinata just blushed and looked away. If Sasuke had to guess, she did it because it was Naruto's idea. Her inexplicable crush on the blond idiot was hopelessly obvious… to everyone except him.

"Well, this may not have gone as planned, but all's well that ends well." Shikamaru shrugged, his own teammates looking a bit sheepish. "How about we go get something to eat together to commemorate this embarrassing episode?"

"I have to train." Sasuke grunted.

"Alright, then how about some team versus team training?" The Nara refused to give up. "You want to do something other than D-ranks, right? Your sensei will be more likely to take you out of the village if he sees that you can work with your team."

That gave Sasuke pause. It was true that the D-ranks had been annoying and pointles. And he did want to go on more challenging missions that would help him grow stronger.

It was just the fact that it required teamwork that bothered him. His revenge had to be done alone, so there was no point in wasting time training with his team.

But he had caved in and worked with Naruto and Sakura during Kakashi's bell test when it finally dawned on him that just getting the bells wasn't the actual objective. He could treat this the same way.

"…Fine." He conceded grudgingly.

Naruto looked shocked for a moment at his capitulation, which was kind of insulting, actually.

"Alright!" The annoyingly loud blond cheered, jumping into the air with a fist pump.

Sasuke already regretted his decision.

XXXXX

Ino was excited. Team 10 had a day off and Shikamaru had suggested they have themselves a picnic.

It was an idea that she had jumped on, but not one that could be carried out without telling their parents. Even if she was legally an adult now, she was still living with her parents. Her very nosy parents. It was hard to keep secrets when your dad was the former head of Torture and Interrogation and your mom was the gossip queen of her generation. They'd had the situation figured out almost immediately.

So now their parents knew that they were dating. She had no idea what Shikamaru's mom thought of it, but hers was entirely too happy with it, while her dad looked like he couldn't decide whether he still liked Shikamaru or not.

"And it's going to be just a picnic?" He asked, trying and failing to come off as casual.

"Pretty much." Ino sort of lied, feeling as if the bikini at the bottom of her backpack got heavier in response to the words.

Shikamaru had asked her to bring a bathing suit and she was both thrilled and nervous about the reasons.

"Enough with the overprotective dad routine, Inoichi." Her mother scolded and handed Ino a bento box. "Here you go, dear. I know you two made your own lunch for this, but you can never go wrong with a few extra treats."

"Thanks, Mom." Ino accepted the box from her entirely too enthusiastic mother. At least one parent approved of her choice of boyfriends. "And I want to hear all about it when you come back."

What was with that weird smile?

"Come back before it gets dark." Her father called out one last instruction before she managed to get away.

Ino shook her head and sighed in relief. Parents were so embarrassing.

The agree-upon meeting spot wasn't far and Shikamaru was already waiting there, his own backpack on his shoulders.

"Hey, sorry I'm late." She said by way of greeting. "Got held up by my parents."

"Don't worry about it, you're right on time." He dismissed in that same comfortably laid back manner that he'd used for as long as she could remember and took his right hand from behind his back. "Here, this is for you."

Ino's face began to bake when she saw the flower he was holding out. With the Yamanaka clan owning a flower shop, a flower was more than just a flower to her. It had meaning.

Shikamaru was holding out a lily.

"D-do you even know what you're saying right now?!" Ino demanded, severely frazzled.

There was no way that even someone as cool as Shikamaru could be holding this out to her and looking so collected! Sure, he had the slightest hint of some embarrassment on his face, but other than that he was as composed as ever.

"Ummm, beauty, passion and drive?" He asked more than stated. "That's what your mother said it would mean anyway."

Yes, it could mean that… if you picked the right type of lily. Other meanings also included purity, fertility and motherhood and were not uncommonly associated with weddings. Due to them being in a relationship it could, if you squinted a bit, be considered a marriage proposal to be given a lily like this.

Shikamaru must have seen something in her face, because he gave a long suffering sigh and tilted his head towards the sky. "Your mother played a prank on us, didn't she?"

That would explain the weird smile, like something between an evil grin and an attempt to force down laughter. Damn it, Mom!

"I'll get her back for this." Ino swore vengeance, still steaming red.

"Just make sure to keep her alive, we'll need a babysitter eventually." Shikamaru snickered.

The bastard was making it worse! He always enjoyed messing with her, but this was going too far.

Ino lunged for him with intent to harm.

XXXXX

Well, being chased by his girlfriend in an embarrassment-fueled rage was certainly one way to get to their destination quickly. Fun, too. Ino's reactions were always good.

Shikamaru was still a bit dubious about this whole 'relationship' idea if he was being honest, but it would be nice to not be a complete social recluse in this new life. He could have waited for Temari, but trying to stick to canon sounded both boring and dumb, especially when he already knew it would be different. Besides, he didn't do long-distance relationships and wasn't a fan of older women.

Plus, Ino would grow up to be super hot and it turns out that having puberty-level hormones made that feel a lot more important than it had been for a man creeping towards middle-aged. No doubt it would have made for a fascinating experiment on how much influence the body had over the mind.

"Alright, we're here." He announced, stopping so that Ino could catch him.

"Huh?" The chase had, ironically, cooled the blonde down and she stopped focusing on him and looked at their surroundings instead.

It was nothing too special, just a small clearing next to an equally small lake fed by a tiny little waterfall, but it was secluded and easily appropriate for a little romantic outing. With the Land of Fire being so heavily forested, places like this were relatively common, if you knew how to find them.

"This is a great spot." Ino said happily. "How did you find it?"

"One of Naruto's exploration trips." Shikamaru snorted in amusement. The Jinchuuriki had at one point wanted to explore all of Konoha's territory, and that meant a lot of blundering through the woods. "I always liked this spot, so I thought I'd bring you to it."

"O-oh, that's really sweet." Ino stammered a bit, then appeared to summon a reserve of anger. "But I still need to punish you for embarrassing me!"

Fortunately, taijutsu wasn't her strong point and she wasn't serious anyway, so he was able to maneuver her into a hold that was more of a hug, taking the opportunity to place a quick kiss on her neck. "None of that now. Calm down."

"O-okay." Ino mumbled, relaxing.

He could almost hear her blushing. It was going to be a real shame once she got used to this and developed a resistance. "Good, now let's set things up."

They laid out the blankets and food in comfortable silence, but pretty soon Ino started glancing at the lake with looks of nervous anticipation.

"So, were you thinking of having us do a little swimming?" She asked, trying to portray cool confidence. "Maybe get a look at me in a bikini?"

Oh? She was going to try teasing him, was she? An effort doomed to failure at this point.

Shikamaru stared her dead in the eye as he responded. "Yes."

Sure, Ino was only twelve at the moment, but she was coming along nicely and it was a whole new world. When in Rome and all that. Morality was contextual anyway.

Well, he wouldn't actually do anything too forward with her right now – the plumbing still wasn't all properly installed yet, for either of them – but he was more than willing to lay the groundwork.

Ino's faux confidence playing the role of a tease evaporated like morning dew in sunlight at his unflustered reaction.

Shikamaru smirked, fully aware that it was no great achievement to get one over on her when he had more than thirty years extra life experience to draw on, but not really caring. It was fun being the confident guy in his technical age group for once.

"I think we can agree that running all the way up here worked up a bit of a sweat." He said leadingly. "So how about we change and do some swimming to cool off?"

Ino narrowed her eyes at him, clearly fed up of being embarrassed and teased.

"Sounds good to me." She said casually. "But no peeking, or I'll kill you."

"Duly noted." He drolled and dug his swimming trunks of out his backpack, then start addressing right there.

"W-w-what are you doing?" Ino stammered in surprise.

"Changing." Shikamaru retorted casually over his shoulder, dropping his pants and snickering at how quickly she turned around so as to not get an eyefull of his ass.

It was just so ridiculous how big of a deal she was making out of it. There wasn't even anything really worth seeing on his twelve-year-old-body. No real muscle definition and certainly not about his underdeveloped genitalia, which was turned away from her anyway.

… Or maybe all that time spent as a toddler with full cognitive function had skewed his perception. Perhaps no man passes unscathed through the trial of having his nappies changed, or having his mother's friends cooing at his helpless naked body.

Shikamaru told himself that the shiver he experienced was a result of the wind cooling the sweat on his body.

"How do I look?" Ino's voice brought him back to the present, bless her.

Shikamaru turned around and took her in. She was blushing and standing there a bit awkwardly in a purple bikini that did a good job of displaying her developing curves and lean body. Still a twelve-year-old girl, though.

He deliberately gave her a thorough once over, knowing that she would be insulted if it seemed like he wasn't enjoying the view. In truth, he was more interested in seeing what she would be like in a few years than what she was like now.

"Well?!" She demanded, blush intensifying.

Shikamaru smirked again. "Looking good." He said and jumped backwards, landing on the water. "Come over here and join me."

Not to be outdone, the blonde jumped after him, landing with the smallest of splashes, although her footing wobbled a bit on the surface. She wasn't regulating the chakra flow to her feet with sufficient skill.

Shikamaru frowned and looked at her feet. "Have you been neglecting your practice?"

"No." Ino asserted.

"Is that so?" He asked skeptically. "Then you won't sink if I tickle you?"

"Don't you dare?" The blonde took a defensive position.

Too bad for her, because this sounded like a great opportunity to have fun while training, and Shikamaru was always a fan of completing multiple objectives with the same action.

XXXXX

The sun was going down by the time they returned to the village, bathing everything in a red-orange glow. One could even call it romantic, if one was so inclined.

"Hey! Shikamaru! Ino!" Came the loud yell of greeting from a certain troublesome blond.

Even after years of work to socialize him properly and get it into his head that maximum volume wasn't always the correct volume, Naruto was still prone to being too loud.

"What's got you so excited, Naruto?" Shikamaru asked patiently, having long since gotten used to it.

Ino was a bit more annoyed at having their 'romantic walk home' interrupted, but she was still in a decently good mood.

"It worked! Kakashi-sensei is finally letting us take a C-rank mission. We're heading out tomorrow morning." The Jinchuuriki reported smugly.

"That's great, what's the mission?" Shikamaru asked, feeling a smidgeon of worry crawl up his spine. Canonically, the Wave mission happened right after Team 7 did the Tora retrieval D-rank and he wasn't sure if that had happened yet.

"Some rich guy from the capital is going on a hotspring tour across the Land of Hot Water and he hired a shinobi escort." Naruto explained, his enthusiasm dimming markedly. It was obvious that he had hoped for something with more action.

"What?!" Ino squawked in outrage. "Sakura gets to soak in hotsprings on her first C-rank?! THAT'S TOTALLY UNFAIR!"

No doubt she was comparing their own first C-rank experience, but Shikamaru was too busy thinking about the fact that Team 7 wasn't being sent to Wave. Probably because his meddling had scrambled the timing.

He had a real bad feeling about this.

XXXXX

I was so distracted advertising for my book the previous chapter that I forgot about my resolution to mention my Subscribe Star on (at least) the first and last chapters of any new fics, so I'm doing it now.

Anyway, if you're the type to give money to fanfiction authors, you can find me on the adult section of Subscribe Star under "Noodlehammer".

Don't do it if you don't have extra money, though. That would be dumb.