Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail. I do own Alexei. He is my character.

"You need a haircut."

Laxus stated after brushing Alexei's bangs away from his face with his hand. This was the fourth time in 30 minutes Laxus had to push Alexei's hair away from his face. Alexei's hair was getting longer and a hassle to deal with. It came down to his shoulders.

"Abu." Alexei looked up at Laxus, his hair shifting in the process. His bangs were once again in his face. Alexei tried to blow his hair away from his face but failed in the task. He tried swiping it away from his face, succeeding in the task, but his hair was messy, sticking up in odd places.

"Maybe I should take you to a barber," murmured Laxus, helping Alexei dress for the day. He only knew how to shave, and Alexei's constant movement could end in a disaster. But a barber was someone unfamiliar, and he'd rather cut Alexei's hair himself than have a stranger do it. "Or maybe someone at the guild can do it." He could ask Mira. Mira would sometimes help Elfman with his hair and offer to do haircuts for the men in the guild. "Let's go," exclaimed Laxus as he grabbed Alexei's stuffed dragon, walking them to the guild.

"Why don't you wait for Lucy. She should come in soon," stated Mira, bringing a beer for Laxus and a juice box for Alexei. "One of her spirits specializes in hair and Lucy mentioned Cancer has been cutting her hair since she was a child. I'm sure he knows the tips and tricks of cutting Alexei's hair without accidentally hurting him or cutting the wrong place. Worst-case scenario, if a mistake happens, Cancer can just grow the hair back."

Laxus was about to respond when he felt the world shift, the ground shaking. This could only mean one thing. Gildarts was back. Laxus had some explaining to do before Gildarts jumped to conclusions. He hasn't heard or met Alexei.

The guild doors swung open as a familiar red hair with a cape entered the guild. At the sight of Laxus, he perked up and headed to the bar. "Laxus! How have you been?" As he approached the bar, he noticed the tiny figure sitting in Laxus's lap, sipping from a juice box. "Gosh, I haven't been gone that long, have I?" Gildarts scratched his head in confusion. "I can't believe you had a kid and didn't tell me! Who'd you knock up?!" He nudged Laxus's side with his elbow with a wolfish grin.

"I didn't knock anyone up," growled Laxus, covering Alexei's ears with his hands. "Why does everyone think I knocked a gal up or kidnapped him?!" He was more responsible than that. "His name is Alexei, and he is my little brother."

"Huh," said Gildarts, taking a step back to get a good hard look at Alexei, who handed the empty juice box to Laxus. He did see the resemblance between the two brothers. "I guess your old man's dick still getting action unlike you and clearly works. Ow," he yelped when Mira pinched his side. "What was that for?!"

Mira gave Gildarts a fierce glare, holding her spoon in the air as a warning. "Mind your language. We have a baby here." She glanced at the two brothers, Laxus, helping Alexei peel a banana so he could eat it. Alexei held the banana with both hands, taking tiny bits from it. The sight was so cute. "A very cute baby," she squealed in glee. "I can't wait for more babies to run around in the guild." If only her favorite ships got together and had kids.

"A lot has happened since you've been gone, old man." Laxus threw the banana peel in the garbage. "All you need to know is that Alexei is family and recently turned one."

"It's just so strange. Seeing you with a kid. Usually kids run away from the sight of your face," joked Gildarts, taking a seat next to Laxus, dodging the spark sent in his direction. "At least the kid isn't bald like you were." Gildarts leaned over to rub the top of Alexei's hair when Laxus set him down on the ground to stand.

Alexei swatted Gildarts hand away from his hair. "No! Badablubblub!" He didn't know this person, and they were touching his hair, bringing it into his eyes again. Plus, they were making his brother irritated. Alexei brushed his hair back again, making it stick up in odd places.

"Don't be mean like your brother," cried Gildarts dramatically. He was hoping to piss Laxus off by getting along with the baby, but his plan didn't work. So he had another idea. "My brother," he stated, placing an arm around Laxus's shoulder, giving him a firm hug.

Gildarts got the reaction he wanted, as Alexei gave him an angry pout. "Nooooo." He pulled Gildarts' arm off of his brother. "My bwoda," he repeated, raising his hand in the air to swat Gildarts' hand if it tried to touch his brother. Laxus was his brother and no one else's. Only a few people could touch his brother. "Nooooooo," he shrieked when Gildarts tried to hug his brother again. "Mine!" Alexei turned around to hug his brother, burying his face into Laxus's stomach.

"Gildarts! Stop bothering the child," stated Erza with a dark glare directed towards Gildarts who shrank in his seat in fear. "Good." She nodded her head in satisfaction and approached the group. "I heard you guys talking about a haircut. As a matter of fact, I may be able to help you in that department." Erza pulled a sword out of thin air, the blade glistening menacingly.

Alexei, at that exact moment, turned around to face Erza. He was greeted by the sight of Erza brandishing a sword. Now, from the perspective of a child, things may seem different. To Alexei, especially with his baby mind and baby height, Erza wielding a dangerous sword that looks sharp looks a little scary.

Alexei let out a whimper and buried his face back into Laxus's lap, gripping tight onto his brother's shirt. "Scawy," he mumbles, his tiny fists shaking. Is this the haircut thing his brother was talking about? If it is, Alexei doesn't like it one bit.

Everyone in the guild froze with fear when Alexei said the word scary towards Erza. They all knew how Erza would react when someone called her scary. Slowly and carefully, they turn their heads towards the person in question.

Erza was sitting in the corner with a dark cloud over her head, shaking back and forth. She was muttering under her breath, "I can't believe he thinks I'm scary. I didn't mean to scare Alexei. I just wanted to help." She repeated this mantra over and over.

Mira beamed a bright smile towards Alexei and stood in front of Erza. She was hoping the negative energy wouldn't affect Alexei's mood. "Don't worry Alexei! Erza is just being silly. Everyone knows you can't use a sword to cut hair!"

Alexei looks apprehensive but slowly loosened his grip on Laxus's shirt, turning to face Mira. "No cut," asked Alexei in a hopeful tone.

"Buddy, you still have to get a haircut. It just won't be with a sword. We will use scissors this big." Laxus used his fingers to give an idea of how big the object was. He wasn't going to force Alexei, but Laxus wanted to see how far he could push the idea before Alexei became extremely uncomfortable. If Alexei still did not change his mind or got visibly upset, Laxus will drop it. For now.

"No! No cut." Alexei shook his head no. Why do they want him to get cut? Cuts cause pain and Alexei doesn't like pain.

"This reminds me of the good old days! Laxus was the same way." The Master called out, joining the group at the bar and standing on the counter. "Don't worry, my boy! How about you let grandpa trim your hair?" Seeing Alexei still not budging, the Master decided to go another route. "Why don't I demonstrate on Laxus first? Once you see there's nothing to worry about, you can get your hair trimmed next." The Master had a feeling the word cut was bothering Alexei, so he decided to go with the word trim instead and so far Alexei looks less worried.

"Bwoda too?" Alexei glanced at his older brother who, at that exact moment, turned ghostly pale with shock. Laxus was very particular about his hair and did not let anyone mess with it. That's why he went to the same barber for years.

"You'll be just as handsome as your brother. Even more! Don't you love your brother and want to be like him?"

Alexei stared at his older brother, pondering over the situation, weighing his options. He did love his brother and wanted to be just like him. Strong, handsome, brave. Maybe this isn't a bad idea as long as they both got their haircuts. After a few seconds of silence, Alexei nodded his head and told Laxus earnestly with a smile, "I wuv u!"

Aw dammit, thought Laxus, when Alexei gave him a beaming smile full of love. I can't say no to that face. "Fine," he said begrudgingly, getting up from his spot from the bar and sitting in the chair where he will be getting a haircut.

5 minutes later

"Gramps. You sure you know what you are doing," asked Laxus in a slightly worried tone when he saw the clippers in his grandfather's hand. A black cape was sitting around his shoulders to catch any stray hairs. Alexei was sitting in a tiny chair in front of him, looking on with anticipation, wearing an identical black cape. Mira put his hair in pigtails, to keep out of his eyes, which sparked an entire conversation about how adorable Alexei would look as a girl and Laxus would make an ugly woman.

"Of course your grandfather knows what he's doing." Gildarts placed a comforting pat on Laxus's shoulder. He wanted front row seats for this. "He's the one who shaved you bald as a kid!" To say Gildarts wasn't enjoying the situation would be an understatement.

"What?!" All this time Laxus thought his mother shaved him bald because of the old wives' tale.

"Hey in my defense, that style was intentional. Your mother wanted that look for you," said the Master as a matter of fact. "She believed it would make your hair healthier. I don't understand why you're complaining now. Everything worked in the end." Actually, Laxus's mother messed up while cutting Laxus's hair. The damage was unsalvageable, so the only solution was to shave it all off. He didn't expect it to cause trust issues when it came to haircutting for Laxus.

"Now Alexei. Watch and learn. This is an electric clipper and these are scissors. They are the tools we are going to use today," explained the Master as he pressed the switch to turn on the clipper. "We will start from the back and work our way to the front." The Master used his finger to show what areas he was going to use the clippers on. "It's just trimming and making it even."

"Hey! My hair is even!"

"Shhhh. I know that," whispered the Master, leaning close to whisper into Laxus's ear. "I'm just explaining the process here. Trust me."

"That's the part I'm worried about!" Laxus had a feeling his grandfather wasn't telling the complete story behind the haircut.

"Stop squirming Laxus. I am about to start. Any mishaps and it's on you." The Master turned the clipper and started taking some hair off the back. He lifted a piece that fell on the cape and showed it to Alexei. "See. Nothing to worry about."

"You know this isn't so bad," commented Laxus as his nerves went away and relaxation set it. "Sorry, Gramps, for doubting you." At the moment Makarov had the clipper close to the scalp, Laxus shifted in place. The result was a bad spot in the middle of his head.

"Ahem. No problem," coughed Makarov, quickly switching off the electric clipper. "Mira, can you come over here? You are an expert in this area, and I just want you to supervise my progress. You know, guide me along, so nothing happens. What do you suggest I do with the area?"

Mira scurried over to where the Master was and held in her gasp to not alarm Laxus about the state of his hair. He will shock everyone here. It looked pretty bad. "I would take a little off here. To balance it out." Mira tried not to cringe when her voice cracked and went a little higher than usual.

"Uh oh," said Alexei, who suddenly appeared next to them. He raised his hand in the air and pointed to Laxus's head. "Boo boo!" There was hair missing.

"Boo boo?! What boo boo?!" Laxus scrambled from his seat to find a mirror of some sort. When Alexei said the word boo boo, it indicated that something was wrong. Laxus was teaching Alexei to express himself when someone wasn't right or if someone was hurt. Boo boo was one of the words.

"Here. Pffft. This should help." Gildarts handed a mirror to Laxus, who examined the damage to his hair. He couldn't hold in his laughter anymore and let it all out. "Bwahahaha. I'm so glad I came back today. Looks like you're bald again, Laxus!"

"Gramps, fix this," hissed Laxus, trying hard not to raise his voice and control his anger. The last thing he needed was to upset Alexei and increase his anxiety over getting a haircut.

"Laxus, there's only one way to fix this." The Master turned on the electric clippers. "You'd have to shave it all off."

"I'm not shaving it all off."

"Come on Laxus! Being bald has its perks. You'll save time and money. No need to waste your money buying hair products."

"I'd rather spend all the money in the world than to be bald at this age! I'm 23 for God's sake. Give me back my gorgeous locks!"

"What's going on here?" A sweet angelic voice came from the guild door. There, according to Laxus, stood a blonde angel. His savior. "Oh my god, Laxus! What happened to your hair?!" Lucy let out an audible gasp when she saw the state of Laxus's hair. When Mira texted her to come to the guild with Cancer, it made her wonder what kind of hair emergency required his assistance. This was top priority.

"Bwoda cut," Alexei stated proudly, pointing to the bald spot again.

"Stop pointing at it, Alexei!" Laxus turned to face Lucy and grabbed her hands, looking intently into her eyes with a pleading look. "Please tell me your spirit can fix it." Laxus heard Cancer was the one who fixed Freed's hair when he cut it all off, growing it back to its original state.

Lucy gave Laxus a firm nod. "He will do the best he can. Please sit back in the chair. We will provide you with the utmost care." Lucy pulled out a key and waved it in the air. "Open. Gate of the Giant Crab, Cancer."

After the cloud of smoke disappears, a man wearing a blue striped shirt and sunglasses with cornrows appears. He has six crab legs on his back and in each hand was a pair of scissors.

Cancer turns to face Lucy. "What kind of hairstyle would you like today, baby?"

Lucy shakes her head. "Not today, Cancer. We have a priority one hair emergency." She gestures to Laxus and his 'current hairstyle.' "He needs the VIP treatment!"

"Of course, ebi!" Cancer put his scissors away to get to work. The first step was restoring the hair back to its original state. Cancer activated his magic and started to massage Laxus's scalp. The massage will stimulate the hair follicles and promote blood flow, helping with hair growth.

Ohhhhh this feels like heaven, thought Laxus, closing his eyes and holding back a groan from the wonderful massage Cancer was giving him. He could get used to this. He might borrow Cancer from Lucy on days he wanted to relax.

"Ooooooh," said Alexei with wonder when he saw hair sprout out from the bald spot.

"Hair restoration complete, ebi." Cancer stood back and handed Laxus a hand mirror so he could assess his hair.

"Thanks man." Laxus lifts the hand mirror and looks at his reflection from different angles. "We should have waited for you in the first place." Laxus directed a glare at his grandfather.

"Meh." The Master shrugged his shoulders. "You win some. You lose some."

"In this case, it was Laxus's hair," Gildarts boldly stated with a grin.

"I guess we can move on to Alexei." The Master hopped down from his place on the bar and he was about to head upstairs when someone stopped him. It was Lucy.

"Actually, we are not done here," said Lucy, with a weird glint in her eyes. "We promised Alexei a demonstration." She turned to face Alexei. "Alexei, would like to help Cancer give your grandfather a makeover?"

"Yes, he will." Laxus quickly answered for Alexei. It was time for him to exact revenge on his grandfather. Not just for the terrible haircuts, but for all the other bullshit his grandfather did to him.

"No! Mira! Gildarts! Help! Don't let them take me," wailed the Master as Lucy tied Master to a chair and wrapped a black cape over his shoulders. She placed Alexei on a high chair and stood close to him so he wouldn't fall off since it didn't have bars. "Are you ready to give your grandfather a makeover?"

"Yeah," replied Alexei excitedly. He enjoyed being a part of things.

"First, we need hair to work on." Cancer used his magic on the Master and gave him a head full of hair. (Think of Fabio XD)

"Lucy," whispered Laxus. "How is this getting revenge?! You gave him a gift instead! Long luscious hair!"

"Be patient and just watch," Lucy whispered back. "Cancer knows what he's doing. Besides, it's not like we're going to let him keep it."

"Woah. I didn't think you had this side, Lucy. Give something to someone and take it back. That's evil. I like that." That was pretty diabolical, in Laxus's opinion. Simple but effective. For a few minutes, his grandfather would experience having wonderful hair only for it to get taken away.

"No! Laxus- ugh! Just watch." That wasn't Lucy's intention at all.

"Alexei. We are going to dampen the hair to make it easier to cut." Cancer handed Alexei a spray bottle and showed him how to use it.

Psh. Psh. "Hehehehehe." Psh Psh. Alexei giggled as he sprayed water in his grandfather's hair. As he was distracted with this task, Cancer would snip a few strands here and there.

"This is a comb. You use it to brush hair and make it neat. I'm sure your brother combs your hair. Do you want to comb your hair?" Cancer got a nod in response. He let Alexei comb his own hair with Cancer guiding him and let Alexei comb his grandfather's hair. When Alexei was distracted by the task again, Cancer did a couple of more snips here and there.

"Damn, he's good," Laxus says in awe as he watches Cancer cut Alexei's hair without the child realizing it until he was done.

"Of course he's good." Lucy couldn't help but brag. She gestured to her hair as she grabbed a strand and twirled it. "This hair isn't fabulous on its own, you know."

"And we are done." Cancer removed the black cape from Alexei's shoulders and the cape from the Master's shoulders. He stepped to the side so that everyone could get a better look at Alexei's hairdo. "I hope you like it, ebi." With a bow and a poof, Cancer went back to the Celestial Spirit World.

"Wow Alexei, you look so handsome," gushed Lucy as she handed the little boy a mirror to take a look at his reflection. "That wasn't so bad, now was it. Did you have fun being a barber, and do you like your new hair?"

Alexei copied Laxus's movements from before, turning his face to the left and right before giving a nod. "I wike it." Guess this haircut thing wasn't so bad after all.

"Noooo! Lucy! Tell your spirit to come back!" The Master wailed once more as he looked at his appearance in the mirror. When Cancer went back, he dispelled the magic cast on the Master. His new hair was gone and back to its usual appearance. "Give me back my gorgeous locks! This was my only chance at having hair at this age! Lucy! Lucy!"