Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or High School DxD
Author's Note:- This oneshot follows from my other fic 'Boarding School Ninja'.
It depicts what happens to Sasuke after he's dumped in another dimension by the Sage of the Six Paths.
That accursed Sage threw me in a barren wasteland. I have no idea where the fuck I am. No idea what the fuck to do. And no clue what the fuck to eat.
All I see before me is a desert.
What were the Sage's last words before throwing me in this shithole?
"Learn some humility and decency, Uchiha Sasuke."
Hah. Right. No way in hell would I learn humility. Who the fuck do you think I am? Naruto?
Spotting civilization and assaulting an unsuspecting woman like some discount mobster I was quick to demand where the hell I was.
Looking frightened, she rattled off some weird shit. I scowled and asked her where the hell was the place she just uttered.
"Uhh… it's in hell?" she said, confused. "The netherworld?"
What the fuck?
"Um, okay? Bye?" she said as I let her go in my confusion. She leaned close and slipped me a piece of paper. "Call me, hot stuff," she winked at me with a sultry gaze.
She then sprouted wings off her back and blasted off into the sky.
And I stared like an idiot.
I gaped in disbelief at the jagged bat like wings of hers.
It couldn't be right?
Did… did the Sage just dump me in…
How the fuck is this supposed to make me a good person!
I just shuffled along the city, pissed beyond belief.
I was divinity personified! How dare the Sage throw me in with devils!
Maybe… maybe there's a reason I'm here.
I smiled. Chuckling darkly as I snagged a hot dog from the vendor standing beside me.
Yes, there's a reason I'm here.
Uchiha Sasuke, ruler of hell… Had a nice ring to it, yeah?
"Hey! You gotta pay for that!"
I grabbed the throat of the devil which dared talk back to me.
"Bow." I said, ginning maniacally, letting out one of my patented crazed grins as the Mangekyo spun in my eyes.
The human-dog hybrid before me began shaking like a leaf, obviously in awe of the sheer size of my dick.
And that was when the that bitch assailed me.
"Stop right there, evil-doer! Levi-tan will be your opponent!"
I turned my head and my eyes immediately burned as pink sparkled in my Sharingan.
I screamed and let go of my victim, rubbing my eyes frantically to get the spots out. S-Shit! I can't see!
"Oh wow! I'm so cute you can't even bear to look at me!" said the chirpy voice, sounding beyond pleased. "Anyway! Don't be a bad boy okay! Or I'll be forced to spank you!" She then giggled and seemingly disappeared as I couldn't hear her voice anymore.
"So, umm. You gonna pay the cash or what?" said my victim. "Also, I'm not into those kinda plays, and I'm working right now."
My ego bruised for being beaten in a moment, I accepted my fate as the hot-dog seller's assistant for the day. Temporarily blinded by pink, I was rendered helpless.
But my mind churned with plans.
You're on my list.
I donned a black mask which went over my eyes and which had black feathers jutting out to the side from the direction of my nose. And I complemented it with something called a tuxedo, its color dark red, and a billowing black cape.
Magical Girl Levi-tan?
More like amateur.
Honestly, it wasn't difficult getting information on her. Her face was pasted all over these stores called cosplay boutiques, or those video stores. There was even a popularity contest going on. I smirked. I had voted for every candidate other than her.
Anyway, it was really careless of her to showcase her abilities to the world. For now I knew all her abilities.
And what's with my dress? Well, I thought it only proper to face the magical girl in the guise of her usual fare of enemies.
It was poetic.
I landed from the rooftop and onto the ground of the devil settlement.
"Bow, before your ruler!" I proclaimed and let out a weakly powered, "Shinra Tensei!"
The devils around me screamed in surprise as they were gently pushed off their feet and landed on their butts.
I admit, that was quite merciful of me.
My mercy only existed because you couldn't be a ruler without the ruled.
"Hey, asshole! What's the big idea!" said a brown haired boy, surrounded by a multitude of girls. All of them straddling him in some way or another as they'd all fallen over him.
I turned to him with a smirk, my cape billowing. "Foolish devil! Tremble before me, for you speak to Karasu-"
"Heey! It's chicken-kun!" The familiar chirpy voice said from the rooftops. "Are you a new villain! Do you want me to show you the ropes?" She burst out of a magic circle in front of me, in an explosion of sparkly pink. "I'm Levi-tan, the cutest girl in the whole underworld! Vote for me!"
I laughed haughtily. "I voted alright." I smirked. "But not for you."
Her smile froze. "What?" a hint of steel in her voice, and her eyes narrowed a fraction.
I grinned, going all in for the psychological warfare. "Want to know a secret, Levi-tan?" I leaned in and whispered, "I rigged the votes." I smirked, "every vote for Levi-tan, gets ten votes for everyone else. I have my clones on the job." I smiled like the handsome bastard I am, delighted at the devastated expression on her face. Her whole frame shook, no doubt from the terror that is me.
The brown haired boy spoke to his female company, "like wow. Is this really happening?" He gave me a thumbs-up. "Good luck, dude. Let's have lunch if you survive."
Levi-tan decided to speak up. Her smile looked strained as she chuckled in a low tone. "Hehehe. Chicken-kun, you want my attention that badly?" She hopped on her feet and her smile looked happy and excited again. "Don't worry!" She grinned. "I'll make you my biggest fan!"
Actually, I did not have time to scoff as the girl suddenly blurred and kicked me up in the air.
I blinked, the pain taking a second to register as my jaw lay broken on my face.
Feeling blood pooling in my mouth, I quickly summoned the King of Hell using my Rinnegan and had him consume me. I could feel my jaw being repaired as I breathed heavily in the darkness, trying to come up with a plan.
Levi-tan was strong.
Much stronger than my calculations, which involved watching children's cartoons and making grandstanding conclusions of my superiority based on them.
"Heey! Chicken-kun! Where did you go!"
I smirked. Good thing only the possessors of the Rinnegan could see the King of Hell.
I frowned. What the hell-
The King of Hell's teeth started creaking.
My eyes widened.
"Come out, come out, chicken-kun."
They slammed open, and the magical girl poked her head in with a grin. Her hands held the jaws open.
She grabbed my hand and threw me out.
"Aaaaaah!" I screamed as I fell. As you can tell, my jaw was perfectly healed. I quickly bit my finger, drew out blood and slammed my hands together.
A empty cloud of smoke popped.
…where the hell were the hawks! Were those fuckers on a break! I lost my shit for a few seconds, stewing in anger and cursing the Sage. Wonderful! Summons don't work here!
"Woohoo!" the girl shouted in excitement. I turned back and saw her free falling along with me. She was a few feet above me and had her arms spread wide, as if she planned on grabbing me and then doing something that would probably hurt a lot more.
Cursing, I quickly pointed my hand at the ground. Intent on Shinra Tensei-ing and and soften my landing-
My eyes spotted a group of children huddling together and shaking with fear as a large man in a mask loomed over them. They were in a building diagonally to my left.
My hand went from pointing at the ground to pointing at the air, shifting a few angles up and down as I estimated my trajectory. And then-
"Got you, chicken-kun!" Slender arms grabbed me across the waist as the girl slammed into me. Her bubbly voice said, "now, let's go for a dive bo-"
I cut her off, and let out the full might of, "Shinra Tensei!"
"-oooomb!" She shrieked in surprise as we suddenly rocketed in full force towards the building I'd seen. Leaving a blast of sound with the sheer power behind my thrust.
We crashed into the building.
"What the- gah!" the large man was lifted off the ground as I quickly ricocheted off the floor and slammed him with a roundhouse kick to the head.
I grabbed his leg and pulled him back towards me, drew my hand back, "Shinra Tensai!" I let out the chakra shockwave right behind my fist, multiplying the force behind my punch by a thousand. The resulting power was enough to cave in the bastard's chest and bury him halfway in the opposite wall as he blasted away from my punch.
I frowned. I was expecting my punch to turn him to mush. I suppose devils were much more durable than humans. I grinned with grim satisfaction, as expected of my future minions.
"Wooow!" The devil children immediately surrounded me. Their grabby hands all sought to hug my legs as they beamed up at me. "Thank you, nii-san! Are you a superhero!" Came their shouts.
I snorted and kept trying to push away the annoying leeches. "I'm your worst nightmare!" I said, hoping to scare the kids. "I am Karasu!"
The kids' eyes shone with adoration. "Nii-san, you're soo cool!" The kids exchanged a look among themselves and nodded. "You're our favorite hero now, nii-san! We were gonna vote for Levi-tan, but now we're your followers!"
I sneered at the kids, "just get outta here, brats!" I sighed as that just made them squeal how badass I was. I know I'm badass, but the universe doesn't have to throw that in my face every few seconds. Sigh. The perils of being an unpraised god. Thankfully, the kids dispersed, citing their parents losing their shit if they were gone for much longer. "Stay safe, you imbeciles! Don't make me rescue you again!" I shouted after them, to which they giggled and nodded with bright smiles.
I sighed and turned around to Levi-tan. "Sorry about that. Now where were we?"
"Ne, Ne, Kara-chan. Are you trying to steal my fans?" Said Levi-tan, sitting on the floor with a demented grin on her face. "Your badass vs my cute? Is that what this is?" She chuckled without much mirth in it. She then began looking panicked, "wait, girls like badass right?" She slapped her cheeks in horror, her terror rising by the second, "y-you're trying to get my sister, aren't you!"
I blinked in surprise. A smirk immediately rose to my face. The opportunity to unsettle the pink peacock was irresistible. "Of course, Levi-tan. You figured me out." I laughed like an Uchiha. "With your sister in the palm of my hand, how could you ever bear to get in my way again." Levi-tan glared at me. I smirked, that was a good look on her. "I can just picture it, 'oh, sister! How could you do that to the boy I love! Don't talk to me again!'"
Levi-tan paled. She shot up to her feet and stammered. "Y-You're pure evil!"
The mook I'd beaten up decided to groan in pain. Drawing our attention to him for a brief second.
Levi-tan glanced at him and pursed her lips. She looked back at me, "…but you also have good bits." She crossed her arms and thought for a few seconds. Her face brightened and she nodded to herself. "I got it! I know what to do!" She got into a fighting stance and grinned at me, "I'll set you straight, Kara-chan! I'll make you forget about charming other girls!"
I crouched into my own stance. Scoffing at her claiming to make me do anything. "Yeah, righ-"
My eyes widened as she blurred and slammed into me, knocking us both off our feet and knocking us to the floor, with her lying on top of me and hugging me with a snicker. H-How fast is she?!
She continued with a bright grin,
"I just have to seduce you to fall for me instead!"
I blinked. Wha-
Levi-tan slammed her lips on top of mine, putting a hand behind my head and pulling me in deeper.
My eyes went wide with surprise as her lips smacked wetly against mine. Her bosom pressed firmly against my chest as she cuddled with me. Which… didn't feel that bad all things considered.
I shivered as she moaned happily into the kiss. I blushed, staring at her face close up. S-She wasn't that bad a looker was she… Why… why the hell wasn't I pushing her off.
Just as I mustered enough sense to kick her off me-
She parted and ended the kiss, looking down at me with a smirk and licking some saliva off her lips. I blushed again, extremely hot under the collar and chagrined at myself beyond belief. Why was I acting like a utter fool!
"Hehe~. Someone's inexperienced with women~" she chirped and started pinching my cheeks. "That's so cute!" I tried to stammer a reply, but she continued beaming at me. "So, so, have you fallen for me! Are you my number one fan now!"
I blinked heavily twice before I put up a weak sneer, hoping to the gods above that my blush had receded. Uchiha Sasuke would admit defeat to no one. I scoffed, "no way-"
I jerked in surprise as the magical girl's face was suddenly an inch away from mine. She smiled as she eagerly awaited my next words. I… I think she's planning on invading my mouth again depending on my answer.
…let it be said that Uchiha Sasuke would never admit defeat.
But he knew when one had to lose a battle to win a war.
I smiled genially at her. "No way that didn't work, Levi-tan." Her eyes sparkled with delight at having snagged another fan. I chuckled, "can I get your autograph?" I asked with an excited smile.
"Sure!" she bounced off me and magicked a pen and paper into existence. She spoke to herself as she wrote out her autograph, "to my beloved fan, Kara-chan. Keep doing good! From, Levi-tan, Serafall Leviathan." She handed it over with a beaming smile.
I got to my feet, took the proffered paper with poise and eagerness, and spotted a shoe store in the distance, which was rife with things for me to swap places with. I smirked. Time to throw down.
"Serafall Leviathan?" I said, nodding at the name. I looked up at her with a grateful smile. "Thank you, Levi-tan. I was unaware of your real name." I snickered. "Now finding your sister will be much easier! She'll be my fan in no time!" I laughed like a bonafide Uchiha.
Levi-tan gaped. She then vibrated on her feet with disbelief and immediately threw herself at me-
She glomped a rack of shoes instead as I swapped myself. I grinned as I saw her confused face turn here and there, trying to spot me.
And just to make the deal sweeter-
I pointed at her from the street, and shouted as loudly as possible. "Oh my Satan! Levi-tan is stealing this good devil's shoes!" I said with the owner of the shoe shop standing beside me. "My admiration has been destroyed and my day is ruined!" I sobbed crocodile tears.
Levi-tan gaped down at me from that building. "W-What! I didn't-"
The kids from before began congregating around me, looking at the pink peacock with glares. "It's okay, nii-san. You know what they say. Never meet your heroes." They patted my back comfortingly, "you're a better hero anyway. So cheer up!"
Other devils began muttering similar things around me as they gazed up at Levi-tan with disappointment and ruined expectations.
She glared. "O-Oi! What the heck! This is a misunderstanding-"
Two devils in uniforms then made their way up the building, accosting her. Looking uncomfortable, they said, "u-uuh, Leviathan-sama. W-We need to take you in for questioning."
She stammered, "b-but I got a show recording soon! A-And I gotta keep the streets safe!" She shook her head frantically, "s-screw that! I didn't do anything!"
I smirked, delighting at this turn of events. And also the ammo she keeps giving me. I cupped my hands around my mouth, and shouted, "don't worry, Levi-tan! In honor of your crime-fighting days I'll fill in for you!" Her eyes widened. I winked at her. "I'll speak to the show managers and replace you as the hero. And don't worry about the streets. I got it!" I gave her a debonair smile and a thumbs-up.
"Y-You're evil, Kara-chaaan!" I heard her scream in despair as I walked away with a spring in my step, the devils around me looking at me with approval. I smirked. Rulership of hell, here I come.
One foe beaten, many to go.
Levi-tan shouted again, but this time her voice sounded sultry and melodic, "you know, Kara-chan. This just means I gotta try harder in seducing you. I'll be back, Kara-chan. You're gonna be mine~."
I stumbled over my step and quickly recovered.
S-Shit. If she was gonna come after me, I better train.
I don't want to be manhandled like I was today.
The smack of her wet lips and the softness of her embrace invaded my mind and I immediately felt my face flush.
I growled and slapped my face.
Get it together, Uchiha!
Be a man and ask her out straight!
…no wait! That's not right!
I meant be a man and show her how big your dick is!
…what the fuck! Aaargh!
Damn you to hell, Levi-tan! How dare you confuse my maniacal psyche with your feminine charms!
I vowed to hit my head against my Susanoo later to recover my insanity.
Hey, I don't want to think straight. Do you know the kinds of demons that roam my head? Better to be lost in a maze of madness than to face them in the throes of clarity.
I then smirked and gripped my fists. Anyway, this would be a good challenge.
If I wanted to rule hell, I better be able to beat a mere magical girl.
I later found out that Serafall Leviathan was one of the rulers of hell. And felt like an utter idiot.
M-Maybe I should retreat to the human world before I challenge her again? I still need a shit-ton of practice, and the looming danger of being discovered by a ruler in their own domain wasn't appealing.
And so I escaped to the human world and joined a school to keep up appearances.
Kuoh Academy or something.
Pretty sure I'm safe here.
Sitting in class, I then smirked as I day-dreamed about the day of my ascension.