A/N: So first, a lot of people have been asking me how I feel about Jesse leaving CPD. I am very upset by it, because Jay is my favorite character and the reason I watch the show. I can't believe that they are letting him go due to budget restraints. My hope is that they don't kill him off, that they find a way to make it so he can come back when they realize how bad of a mistake they have made. I suspect it is going to have something to do with the Army. In the synopsis for episode 3 it does state that Jay meets a victim to their latest crime and they bond over their Army days, that Hailey confides in Voight worried about Jay. So I am going to predict that he leaves the CPD for the Army in some capacity. He doesn't have to be in active status, but maybe working on base somewhere or in an outreach position to help Vets when they get back. Which I would be ok with, because it matches his character.
As for Seal Team, OMFG! If you do not have ParamountPlus, you need it. The show has gotten so much better since they have moved and they are no longer bound by the rules of network television. The plots are more realistic and the characters are gritty and real. There is seriously like twenty F-Bombs within the first five minutes lol. They feel like real SEALs now and the show has only gotten better since moving to streaming. If you are holding out based on principles about not wanting to pay for another Streaming service, I get, but lose Netflix and get ParamountPlus, it's so worth it. Season 6 episode 1 was insanely good! I knew Max (Clay) had been signed full-time to Seal Team and his new show Fire Country (Which looks amazing, seriously if you haven't seen the trailer go watch it right now!), so I knew based on the trailer for season 6 they were going to do something to keep Clay in it, but not in a fully active season. The second I saw his injury I knew exactly what they were going to do and I was right. I am so looking forward to seeing how it all plays out. Plus, I am also excited because of the injury they gave Clay, it's not something that they can go back on, so they must be confident that his new show will be picked up for another season and that makes me happy. I will watch this man in anything! It's amazing, you have to see it. I am dying over here. Ok, here is the newest chapter and hopefully it was worth the wait. New episodes of my two favorite shows were exactly what I needed to feel that inspiration and excitement again to get back to writing.
Chapter 6
Today had already been a long day and it wasn't even noon yet. It started at nine this morning when Dr. Blake arrived to speak with Clay. Dr. Blake was the de-programming therapist that Trent was able to locate. She came highly recommended and she was the best within the State. They were only going to have the best helping Clay. She was here today and currently speaking with Clay alone so she can see what they need to do to help Clay heal mentally from the trauma. What would have made all of this easier was if the tension within the group had dissipated, but that was not the case. Sonny was still pissed at Jason, Full Metal and Yoder for keeping it quiet that Clay was had a lot that they needed to work through, but they were all keeping it professional with each other, because Clay needed them to. They were keeping their emotions to themselves and dealing with it when they were away from Clay. It was making for some tense and awkward moments so far, but Jason was happy to take that over arguments.
The guys were all anxiously waiting for when Dr. Blake would be finished with her assessment of Clay. Sonny had been pacing for the past hour and at this point Jason was ready to nail his ass to the deck. He understood though that Sonny was anxious and just wanted to get back in there with Clay. None of them liked having Clay out of their sights right now. What was making them worse was knowing that after this they would have to leave Clay, minus Yoder, and go to the base to fake confront Vic in front of everyone. Jason had made the call to have every DEVGRU operator that was in town there for it. They needed Vic to feel like he had no one else but Ray to turn to. At the same time though he also wanted to use this opportunity to weed out anyone else within DEVGRU that had a problem with Clay. All of the other Master Chiefs agreed that they needed to ensure that DEVGRU was a safe place for Clay. Even if he couldn't come back and be within the field, there was a chance he could come back and work on base or in HAVOC. They wanted to make sure no matter what Clay decided or what team he was helping, that he would be safe and around people that were there for him and would protect him.
The back door finally opened and Dr. Blake came out, before she closed it behind her. She gestured for them to move back so they weren't so close to the house. She didn't want Clay to overhear this conversation and it would be best to step further back to ensure it. She got them down closer to the waterfront and she could see they were all unhappy with being this far away from Clay even though he was safe within his home. Before they even had the chance to say anything, she held her hand up and spoke.
"He is fine. I know you would prefer to be inside with him, but he needs some time to calm down and you all need to hear what I have to say. He is with Cerberus, who is doing his job. I would like to discuss what else Cerberus could be doing for Clay."
"Like?" Brock asked, more than happy to train Cerb to do anything that Clay needed.
"Cerberus is Clay's most powerful tool in terms of his mental and emotional health. As Clay moves forward on his journey to healing Cerberus will be a huge asset for him to have. I would like to see if it would be possible for Cerberus to learn how to wake Clay up from nightmares and how to detect an anxiety attack before it happens so Cerberus can calm Clay down before it gets too bad."
"You think Clay will get anxiety attacks?" Jason asked, he didn't even think about that and he was kicking himself for it right now. He had been so focused on getting Clay healthy physically, he didn't think about long term effects.
"He will have anxiety that might need to be treated with medication. That will depend on how his mind heals. The more tools he can have early on the easier it will be for him when the anxiety gets bad." Dr. Blake explained.
"I can teach Cerb anything that Clay will need." Brock said confidently. He knew Cerb would do it because it would be for Clay.
"That would be great. Anything that Cerberus could learn to help would be wonderful moving forward. Right now he is a military K9, it would be good to get Cerberus to learn how to move into a service dog capacity. So waking up from nightmares and detecting anxiety attacks like I said, but also for him to be able to turn light switches on and off, bringing medication bottles to Clay. Service dogs can help with tasks around the house, even putting groceries away and helping with laundry. They can be trained to call 9-1-1 or a specific person if their person needs help. With Clay's hearing, he might need Cerberus to alert him if someone is at the door or if his phone is ringing. I can get you a book if you'd like and you can go through it and see what Cerberus might be able to learn." Dr. Blake said, more than happy to offer any help that she could.
"I would appreciate that. I can go through it and see what might be helpful for Clay to have." Brock easily agreed.
"I like that we are talking about long-term, but what about the short-term. What do we do right now to not screw him up?" Sonny asked, because that was his biggest concern. He didn't want to do or say something that was going to hurt Clay.
"In terms of right now, it is not going to be easy. Currently, Clay is in this state of limbo if you will. He's not back in that hole, but he's also not back home either. Because he's so physically sick and rundown, everything within him is focused on getting his next breath, literally. Due to that, his mind isn't able to process everything that has happened. He's not able to fully conform to the conditioning that has been tortured into him for those six months." Dr. Blake started.
"So he's half-assing it?" Full Metal asked.
"Essentially, yes. He's speaking a different language because that's what he is used to. His mind is able to handle that and do as he is told. He's not sleeping in a bed, because he knows he's not supposed to. However, he is drinking out of a cup and using a straw. He is allowing you to spoon feed him instead of him eating and drinking out of dog bowls." Dr. Blake continued.
"But that's a good thing though." Ray stated.
"It is, but it also gives you a false sense of success. Right now Clay's body is too weak to even think about the conditioning that he has programmed into him. However, once his body has healed up some, then he is going to be hit by a tsunami of memories and emotions. All of that will have him reverting back to the conditioning and that is where things will become dangerous. From the conversation that we just had, Clay was treated like a dog. He was only called Pet, he thinks that's his name. He was kept on a leash, made to walk on all fours, forced to eat and drink like a dog. He was praised with a pat on his head by his captor, whom he refers to as Master. When he was good and pleased his Master, he was taken for walks on a leash and again on all fours." Dr. Blake explained, but Sonny cut her off with a growl.
"That son of a fucking bitch."
Dr. Blake could see that they were all furious at learning this, but they needed to know, because they needed to know how difficult the situation was. How fragile Clay's mind was.
"I know you are angry and you all have every right to that anger. However, you need to keep it under control when you are around Clay. He can't see it, he can't feel it, or he will start to associate you as his new Master and he will revert back. His mind is extremely fragile and you have to follow my recommendations if you ever want him to be healthy again."
"As long as he stays out of a facility, we'll do anything you say." Jason easily said on their behalf. It didn't matter what this doctor told them, they would do it.
"And keeping Clay out of a facility is my goal. I don't want to have to place him in an in-patient facility. The only way to ensure that does not happen is how you handle his deprogramming now. I am going to give you my recommendations and some of them you will be happy to do, but there will be ones that you won't want to do. But you have to do them. You have to hold strong and remember the end goal is for your brother and your son to be healthy. You need to be as determined to get him back to one hundred percent mentally as you are with his physical health. If you don't, then he will regress and you will have no choice but to place him in an in-patient facility and you will lose him possibly for the rest of his life."
The serious tone to her voice had all of them standing up straighter. They were more than prepared to do whatever was needed to ensure that Clay got to be back to himself. Whether they liked it or not, agreed with it or not, they were all going to do it because they were committed to getting Clay back and not letting the assholes that did this to him win.
"I can speak for all of us Doc, when I tell you that we will follow your plan to the letter. We just want him healthy, no matter what it takes." Jason said with strength to his voice.
"I am glad to hear that, because right now is the best time to start to deprogram him. His mind is fragile, but it is also more impressionable because his body is so exhausted. We won't be able to fix everything before his mind catches up, but we can get him to see that he's not a dog, but a person. Later on we will have to manage his anxiety and the nightmares. There will be times when he backsteps as everything gets overwhelming, but if we can have the programming broken, he will be able to stay here and do out-patient therapy."
"Ok, so what's the plan then? Outside of using Cerb more." Sonny asked, more than ready to get started. Trent pulled out his phone and hit record so they could have this for later when they might need to refer back to it.
"The first few things are simple. He is used to being called Pet, so you call him by his name. Every time you speak with him, you call him Clay. For example, Clay, how are you feeling? How did you sleep, Clay? Use his name as often as you can. If there is a nickname that you used for him, use that as well. Refer to him as brother and son; this tells his mind that he is a person, that he isn't a pet that is owned. We have to humanize him mentally and in order to do that it involves a lot of repetition."
"That makes sense." Full Metal as they all took it in.
"Next, you can utilize Cerberus, when Clay eats something, give Cerberus something in his dog bowl. Pets eat out of bowls, people eat off of a plate. When you can when he's eating, use dishes and utensils, even if it might be easier to let him drink the soup when it's no longer broth, get him to use a spoon. I know he doesn't have much strength, but you can place the spoon in his hand and you can guide his hand up. Essentially you are feeding him, but his mind gets reminded of the process of eating like a person. We are triggering those memories and overriding the ones that have been placed there by the conditioning. The next step is praising, but you have to be careful that you don't make it sound like you are praising a dog. We want positive reinforcement as we are going against the rules. His mind will be waiting to be punished and the only way to correct that is by making sure he feels like he is behaving, doing something right to recondition his mind."
"Ok, how do we praise him without making it sound like he's a pet still?" Ray asked.
"The same way you have always done it. I am sure there have been times since he's been on your team that you have told him he was doing something right or did a good job. I would also encourage positive touching. He is positive touched starved. The only time he has been touched during his captivity was when he was hurt. His mind is associating touch with pain and punishment. You need to help his mind remember that touches can be a good thing. From what Clay said, you have already started to do this. He likes sleeping on Sonny's leg, it makes him feel safe because he can physically feel one of you there with him. You will find as he starts to heal that he can get clingy and that is because you all make him feel safe and he is desperate for that feeling. He won't like being alone for a while, it's something that Cerberus will be able to help him with. It will be connected to his anxiety that will come."
"Doc, I don't care if he needs to sleep on me every day and night for the rest of his life." Sonny easily said.
"Well, not for the rest of his life. It's ok for him to be clingy for a while, but he also needs to learn how to be able to be on his own. Sleeping on his own. As he starts to heal physically then you will need to put more energy into helping him heal mentally. When it is time for him to start sleeping alone you can do it very much like you would with a child. You can be there while he falls asleep, but once he is asleep you would move away and let him sleep alone. Another thing you can do to help him is by giving him choices. For the past six months he hasn't been allowed to decide anything for himself. There is naturally going to be some anxiety around making choices for himself now. How we counterout that is by giving him small choices that he can make and start giving him control of his life again." Dr. Blake continued to explain.
"What type of choices should we be giving him?" Trent asked, not wanting to push Clay too far by mistake.
"Small things at first. Never ask if he wants to eat or sleep right now. Once he's more stabilized physically then you can start to ask if he's hungry or not. For now, stick with simple options. If he needs to eat, ask if he wants chicken soup or rice. If you are going to read to him, ask if he wants book one or book two. Does he want to wear the black shirt or the grey shirt? The end goal for you all to keep in mind is a healthy, independent man."
"And all of this sounds good Doc, I'm not really hearing anything that would be hard for us to do." Jason said, a bit worried about what it was that they weren't going to be happy doing with Clay. So far all of this was sounding really good to Jason and he was liking this plan. He was liking Dr. Blake and how she was handling all of this. All of these were good positive things that he was very happy about.
"In order to break conditioning, especially this type of conditioning, you have to focus all of your energy and power on cutting the largest thread that is keeping the conditioning tied down within Clay's mind. Often that thread is connected to the first rule that they were conditioning into the person. In Clay's case, the first rule he was conditioned for was that a bed is used for servicing the clients." Dr. Blake began cautiously to explain. She knew they weren't happy about where she was going with this.
"Right, it's why he won't sleep in a bed, but we got him to sleep on the couch." Sonny said, not really following where Dr. Blake was going with this.
"No way, he's not ready." Jason instantly said though, because he knew where the doctor was going with her statement.
"He has a panic attack every time he's on one. We had to sedate him to even get him home." Yoder added.
"Wait, you want us to put him on a bed?" Sonny asked, slowly coming around to what was being said.
"You are not going to like it, but you have to do this. You have to break the power that a bed holds over him. Now, I am not saying you should throw him in a room and lock the door. I also have been briefed by Mr. Sawyer, that he was raped in his room prior to being kidnapped. His bedroom would not be the best place for him to get used to being in a bed. Is there another room that he could be in?" Dr. Blake asked, trying to get them to get on board.
"There's multiple bedrooms that he could be in. I can change rooms too." Jason said, more than happy to do whatever it took to get Clay better.
"If you are open to it, the best place for Clay to be would be in your bed right now. Don't change anything or the sheets. Your smell will be comforting to Clay. Your sense of scent isn't very strong, especially compared to your other senses; however, it does trigger memories and emotions. When Clay smells your scent it will trigger memories of you and feelings of safety and comfort. It will help to keep him grounded." She paused looking at the torn and conflicted faces on the brave men that stood before her. They were war torn veterans. Men that faced all sorts of evil in this world and all of them were feeling lost on how to heal their brother. "It won't be easy, especially at first, but all of you have to stick with the plan. His mind is the most vulnerable right now, this is the perfect time to strike. If we wait until he is more stabilized, the trauma will only cement even more and he will not be able to handle the de-programming. He will revert back to following all of the rules and essentially become a pet once again. He will have to be placed in a long-term, in-patient mental facility until they are able to break the programming, which could take years or even his whole life. I am trying to prevent that."
The reality of the situation was fully settling in now for the guys. They knew Clay needed help, but they didn't think it could get to that level. And it would be because they screwed up. It was a lot of pressure and they didn't know how they were going to do this, they just knew they had to. They had to make sure they followed the recommendations to the letter no matter what, because if they didn't they were going to lose someone they loved all over again and that wasn't something any of them could handle. They all looked at each other and regardless of the hard feelings and the internal drama going on within the team, they all gave a nod and were in complete agreement.
"We're no strangers to making hard decisions and doing something we're not happy with Doc. All we want is our little brother to be ok. If this is what we have to do, then we'll do it." Sonny said on their behalf, but they could hear the hurt in his voice at knowing he will have to cause some discomfort to his best friend.
"It's not going to be easy, especially at first. He has been tortured into following those rules and in his mind right now, he still expects for his Master to come back. He does not believe he is fully safe. He's following the rules as best as he can so when his Master does show up for him, he won't be punished as severely. At the same time, he's doing what you are telling him to do, because he is afraid you will punish him for not doing it." Dr. Blake began to explain, knowing that hearing some of this will be harder on them, but they needed to understand the seriousness of the situation, as well as the delicacy that was needed.
"What? No, we would never do anything to hurt him. I didn't think he was struggling with that." Jason instantly said, hurt that his own son thought he would do something to hurt him. He was trying to help him and get him healthy again.
"And on a subconscious level he understands that. He knows that he is safe with you all and that you would never hurt him. However, on a conscious level, there is that voice of the Master in his head telling him he is going against the rules. Telling him he is going to be punished. Clay has been conditioned to expect to be punished right away for going against the rules. And with his Master not here, that punishment would fall on you all to execute. It's why you have to be extremely careful of your emotions and reactions to him. Especially as you move further on within the healing process. There will be times when Clay tests you, when he does something he knows is wrong and will anger you. The need to be punished will grow and if he doesn't have his Master, then it has to be you and if it's not you, he will resort to punishing himself because his mind is screaming at him that he needs to be punished to repent for his wrong doing."
"Just so I am clear here Doc, but you're not actually telling us to punish him right?" Trent asked, getting worried now about where this was going.
"Oh absolutely not. Quite the opposite actually. No matter what he does or says, you can't punish him, you can't yell at him or get upset with him. If you come home and he has completely destroyed the place, you ask if he's ok and you help him clean up. You don't talk about it, you don't bring it up, you act like everything is normal. It will confuse him and make him more on edge for a few days, but his mind will slowly start to learn that no matter what he does or says, he's not going to be punished. It's when that realization hits him that we have to be careful. Because that is when he could turn to punishing himself. He could not sleep, refuse to eat, he could physically cause harm to himself. That is when it becomes dangerous and what we are trying to avoid by working so hard to break the programming now."
"And the strongest connection to the programming is not sleeping in a bed. So how do we break it?" Yoder asked. He knew it was going to be hard, but he didn't care. He wasn't going to quit, not now, not ever.
"You can do it one of two ways. The first, is by getting him to be in the room and sitting on the bed while he is awake. The pro would be that he is aware of his surroundings at all times. The con is the fact that he is awake for it and therefore his mind will instantly assume that he is being brought in there for sex by whoever is carrying him. And given that he sees all of you as family, his protectors, it will instantly cause more anxiety as well as fear. The second way is for you to wait until he falls asleep on the couch before moving him to the bed. The pro is that he is asleep and gets to experience being in a bed again without the traumatic memories hitting him at the sight of the room. The con, when he wakes up he will be confused and not understand what is happening. He will undoubtably have been raped while unconscious before and he could assume that is what happened, even if he wakes up dressed. He could also awaken before someone checks on him and he will be scared of what will come for being in the bed. He will either think he is going to be punished for being in the bed without his Master's permission or he will be scared that one of you will be coming in to join him for sex." Dr. Blake explained.
"I don't like either of those options, so what else do you got?" Jason demanded. There was no way that he was going to ever have Clay thinking that him or any of them was looking to have sex with him. Was looking to rape him. There had to be another way, any other way.
"Unfortunately nothing. He either has to be awake or sleep to be in the room." Dr. Blake said sympathetically.
"Ok, so say we do it awake. How do we do that?" Ray asked, trying to get all of the information.
"You would bring him into the bedroom and place him on the bed. You would distract him by conversation to try and calm him down. You can sit on the bed with him and then when he does eventually calm down you continue to talk or read to him and then after a few minutes you can bring him back out and then do it again the next day until eventually he doesn't have any reaction or anxiety about being in the room or on the bed." Dr. Blake explained.
"And the second way?" Brock asked this time.
"Once he falls asleep you would bring him into the room. You can check on him as time goes by and once he is awake you talk with him, calm him down, again you can read to him if that helps. Then once he has calmed down and a bit of time goes by you bring him out. Again, you do that until being in the room no longer bothers him and he falls asleep in bed on his own. Either option you go with will be hard at first for everyone, but you have to pick which one you are going to do and stick with it. Everyone has to stick with the routine regardless of how bad the day is going, because even one day of a break in the routine can set him back."
"What one would you recommend?" Trent asked.
"I can't answer that. You know him best, so you have to trust yourselves with that answer."
"What if one of us was sleeping next to him, so when he woke up he wasn't alone and saw us sleeping there?" Yoder asked.
"I suppose you could do it that way if you'd like. It might ease his fears a bit to see someone sleeping next to him, it wouldn't have happened during his captivity. However, you would have to always have someone sleeping next to him and then eventually fade that out. It wouldn't be simple, especially with him sleeping close to twenty-two hours a day."
"Right, but we could take turns being in the room with him." Sonny easily countered, more than happy to spend the day in bed with Clay if that's what was needed.
"You can, but I think you need to consider how this will work long-term. Eventually you all will go back to work, back to missions. Depending on when that happens, Clay will need to be with caretakers until he can be self-sufficient again. If you are in his bed all day and night long, he will grow attached to that and when you leave for an operation, he will be on his own and the problems will still be there. As hard as it is, you have to think long-term with his mental health and the steps you can take in the present that will empower him in the future. It is going to be a life-long struggle for Clay and he needs to be able to have coping mechanisms that will help him during the bad times. The end goal isn't that he is back to his old self. The end goal is for him to be able to be an independent adult that can function in society. That is the best outcome you can hope for in this situation. Have you registered him for disability yet?"
"What? No, he's on medical leave for the Navy until he's healed up and can come back." Jason said, not happy with the thought of Clay being on the disabled list.
Dr. Blake gave them a sympathetic smile as she spoke. "I understand this is hard, and it's not something anyone wants to think about. But Trent came to me because I am the best in my field. I specialize in de-programming captives. After speaking with Clay, reading his medical file and his military file from his time in Africa growing up. Clay has complex and compound PTSD. He had PTSD from growing up and more psychological trauma was piled on with each bad mission. More trauma was added from everything that lead up to him being raped that first time and then everything from the past six months. He's always going to have PTSD. He's always going to have anxiety that realistically will turn into an anxiety disorder. The reality is, Clay is never going to be able function well enough to have a steady job. Even something as simple as working in a fast food place, he won't be able to handle being out that long in public or around people. It will be a struggle for him to go to the grocery store. It's why I am recommending that you teach Cerberus everything you can so he can be a huge asset to Clay."
"You think he'll never be able to work ever again?" Sonny asked, sadly. They all knew that Clay was never going to be able to be in the field again due to his health and hearing. However, they thought he might be able to be in an office on base or even in HAVOC, now they were learning he might never be able to function enough to work anywhere.
"He might be able to work part-time if it was from a job he could do at home. It would have to be low stress and he would have to be able to make his own hours so on the days that he's not doing well he doesn't have to try and work. It is why I would recommend that he is placed on full-time disability so he doesn't have to worry about trying to work and make money."
"He writes though. He wrote a book before all of this and it's a bestseller. He was in the middle of making a second book. He could do that though. The house is paid off, and he still has royalties coming in from the first book. Couldn't he write for a living?" Jason asked, with a sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach over all of this.
"He could. Writing is a huge asset for someone who has gone through trauma. If that is something that he enjoys and finds peaceful, he can completely do that. You said he was on medical leave, how long is the leave for?"
"It's open for right now. He will be on it for at least six months, until he has recovered from his double lung transplant. He's getting his full salary and they have also approved the paperwork to have him back paid for the past six months." Jason answered.
"Ok, so he has some time. I would stay the course and let him be on medical leave until they force a decision. Once that happens then I would still file for long-term disability. That will protect him until you have a better idea if he is still interested in writing, if he has the motivation to write every day. If everything works out and he is able to make enough money to live off of and he is still writing and working on his books, then you can have his disability placed on hold and they can reactivate it should Clay hit a rough patch and can't get back into writing. When he does start to feel better, I would recommend some encouragement on your part for him to get back into writing. Perhaps you could read to him the first book and that might get him interested in reading the book he was working on again. Writing is a great escape for people who have gone through a trauma."
"And you are sure there is no hope for him returning to work, even in an office capacity on base?" Yoder asked.
"It's not really a matter of could, it's should. Could he push through the trauma and go to work every day, I am sure he could. I am sure he could do it to ensure you all are happy and feeling good about everything. However, should he push himself to do that every day? No. It will only add more stress and anxiety to his already fragile mind. It will make him worse, bit by bit every single day. It would be like someone who is bleeding out on the battlefield and they keep putting a bandage on it thinking that will stop the bleeding. No one wants to accept that the person they love is forever altered, but he needs you to accept that, because then you can help him be the best version of his new self. He will need to hear it from all of you that it's ok that he doesn't go back to work. He needs to see that you are there for him regardless of what he does for a living."
"Look Doc, all we want is for him to be healthy and happy. We don't need him working for the Navy. We just need him to be alive and healthy. If not being in the Navy is what is best for him, then we'll make sure he does that. We just want him to be ok. You're the expert and we will do whatever you recommend to get him to being ok again. Even if we don't like it." Jason said. He knew things were going to be hard, but he didn't care. He was going to do whatever it was recommended to get Clay back to being able to have a good life. He didn't care what pain it could put him through, he would go through it if it helped to heal his son.
"I am glad to hear that. Do any of you have any questions about anything that we discussed today?" Dr. Blake knew that she gave them a lot of information and they were going to most likely need time to process it all and then questions would come up later.
"Not right now, but I am sure we will have some by the time you come back." Jason said on their behalf.
"When will you be back?" Sonny asked.
"Given the seriousness of Clay's condition, I would like to see him for an hour every other day to start and then as things progress I may see him twice a week or I may see him every day. It just depends on how Clay heals and how the trauma manifests. I will be his therapist until he decides he doesn't need one anymore. I am not going to recommend a different therapist after the de-programming. I find that switching patients after the de-programming sets them up for a potential relapse when the new therapist doesn't understand all of the warning signs. So all of you will be stuck with me for a few years most likely." She said with a warm smile.
"As long as he gets better, Doc, you can come over for Christmas dinner." Sonny commented.
"Real quick, Clay is on the spectrum, on the high end. He is just kissing it, but will that cause some issues as we move forward?" Yoder asked.
"Right, so for anyone that is on the autism spectrum, even someone that is just barely on it like Clay, there will be little quirks that will appear. He will have already had quirks before all of this, you may have noticed them and you may not have. It just depends on what they are. You will find that they will be more apparent now. Don't try to change the quirks or go against them, just roll with it. I don't know what his quirks were before this, but some of the common ones are being over stimulated, not liking certain textures, people that he didn't really like before this, he will be more sensitive to them, so try and avoid having them around."
"That's easy enough." Full Metal commented.
"One more question Doc. He has a younger sister and brother and they know he's alive and both want to see him, but I've been holding off. Would it be good for Clay to see them?" Jason asked, because he knew Emma especially was chomping at the bit to see Clay.
"How old?" Dr. Blake asked.
"Emma is eighteen and Mikey is twelve."
"Ok, so I would avoid that for right now. I can understand completely their need to see their brother, to see that he is alive with their own eyes. However, Clay is the older brother and given his job I have to imagine he's very protective of them. If he sees them while the programming is so strong within him, he could start following all of the rules no matter what you say. That is because his mind still believes his Master will come and he could be worried that his Master will take them as his new pets. So he will do everything he can to ensure he follows the rules as a way to protect his siblings from that fate. What you can do though is mention them. Tell him about them and in a few weeks we can re-evaluate and maybe do a phone call with them."
"Alright, thanks Doc." Jason knew it was going to be easier to keep Mikey pleased with the updates, but Emma really wanted to come down and see him and Clay wasn't ready for that. She wanted to help and it was hard for her to stand around and do nothing.
"We appreciate you coming here and helping Clay." Ray said with a kind smile.
"I'm happy to help. I will see you in two days, does this time work for you?"
"Yes, Clay has an appointment in the afternoon with an audiologist, so this time again works perfectly." Trent answered, as he had Clay's schedule in his mind at all times, going over it to ensure he hasn't forgotten anything.
"Perfect, I will see Clay then. I hope you all have a good couple of days."
"Thanks Doc." Jason said on their behalf.
Dr. Blake headed back towards the house and the guys all turned to each other. They needed to get back inside to see Clay before they would go to the base and take care of Vic. Right now though they had to make a decision and it had to be one they all could live with.
"Ok, so awake or asleep?" Yoder asked reluctantly.
"Don't really fancy either option. Do we really need to do this right now with him? Can't we wait until he's feeling a bit better?" Sony asked, not likely the idea of hurting Clay.
"I understand where you're coming from Son, I don't want to do this either. But the Doc is right, we have to do what she recommends because if we don't, we could be the reason that Clay never gets healthy again. We have to do this for him, no matter how much it hurts us." Jason said, hating this but he wasn't going to be the reason his son never got healthy.
"Trent, what do you think?" Ray asked, trusting in Trent's medical knowledge.
"There's pros and cons to both. I think we should try it both ways first and see how Clay reacts to them. We can do it on two different days and see which one Clay handles the best and then stick with that option."
"Alright, I'm good with that. Today I can try and bring him in when he is awake and see how that goes. Tomorrow we can do it when he is asleep. That at least makes me feel like we aren't picking the wrong one." Jason said, happy to be going with that plan.
"Brock, how hard will it be to train Cerb?" Yoder asked next.
"I'll pick up a book on my way back today, but it shouldn't be too bad. I can pick up the book and we can go through it and see what we want Cerb to be able to do. It's for Clay, so he'll do anything for him and it shouldn't take too long for him to learn. With him not going on operations he'll enjoy the activity and stimulation."
"We gotta get going for now and get to the base." Full Metal stated.
"Let's get inside and say goodbye to Clay and I will let him know where we are going. Yoder is going to stay with him while we're gone." Jason ordered.
They all made their way back into the house and they saw Clay laying on the couch with Cerb curled up against him. He was trembling still and it was clear that talking with Dr. Blake had been a lot for him. Sonny and Jason went over to the couch and they all pulled up the translation app on their phone so they could know what Clay was saying. Both Jason and Sonny bent down and Sonny placed his hand on Clay's thigh to offer some comfort as Jason spoke.
"Clay, the guys and me have to go onto base for an hour or so, but then I'll be back. Yoder is going to stay with you. Do you need anything before we go?"
Clay gave the smallest of shakes and they could see how hurt and exhausted he was. His eyes were red and it was clear he had been crying. They hated that they couldn't make him better; that they couldn't take this from him.
"Ok, we won't be long Son." Jason went and placed a kiss on the top of Clay's head before he stood up. Sonny stood as well, but he stopped when he felt Clay's very weak hand on his wrist.
Sonny bent back down as he spoke in a gentle tone. "You ok Clay?"
"በጃኻ ኣዕርፍ" (Stay, please) Clay said in a very soft voice.
"You want me to stay with you instead of Yoder?" Sonny asked gently. He was surprised that Clay would want him and not Yoder, but Dr. Blake did say that Clay could cling more to one person over another.
"በጃኻ/ኺ?" (Please?) Clay asked in an even softer voice, clearly afraid that Sonny would punish him for asking.
"If you want me here, then I'll be here Little Buddy. We can watch some TV if you want or I could read you a book. Which would you like to do?" Sonny asked, trying to stick to all of the recommendations that Dr. Blake said.
The guys could all see the conflict and confusion within Clay's eyes at being presented with choices. They knew that Dr. Blake said that he wasn't used to making choices for himself, but they didn't expect for it to be this hard for him. It was something they were all going to have to make sure they worked on with him.
"መጽሓፍ?" (Book?) Clay said, completely unsure about how well his answer would go over.
"Sure, why don't I pick one and then we can get comfortable." Sonny said with a warm smile, to which Clay gave him a small nod.
Sonny got up and went over to the bookshelves as Jason spoke. "I'll be back real soon son, ok?"
Clay once again gave a small nod and Jason and the others all headed out. Once Sonny picked a novel that he could read, he went back over to the couch and carefully lifted Clay's head up and he sat down before he placed Clay's head back down. Cerb easily curled back up with Clay as Sonny spoke.
"You comfortable Clay?"
Clay's eyes slid closed and he gave a small nod and Sonny could tell that the exhaustion was kicking in. Sonny opened the book as he spoke. "Alright, A Tale of Two Cities."
As Sonny's gruff voice flooded the area around Clay, he found himself slowly drifting off to sleep, enjoying the comfort that Sonny's presence always brought him.
A/N: I had two ideas for more crossover stories between Seal Team and Chicago PD. Here are the summaries and please let me know if either of them appear interesting to you or not. Thanks!
Story 1 Summary: With the unrest in the Middle East reaching an explosive level, the military has no choice but to draft retired servicemen to send over into Afghanistan to try and stop the Taliban from overtaking the Country. When Jay is drafted and forced to leave Intelligence he has no choice but to say goodbye to his friends, his brother and his wife. But Jay isn't just going to Afghanistan, he is being promoted to Commander and being placed in charge of running the Korengal Valley stronghold. It's more unstable and volatile than ever and Jay knows he's most likely never coming back home. He didn't expect for his number two to be Clay Spenser within DEVGRU. Jason is not happy that Bravo is being sent into J-Bad, but Clay was being ordered to the Valley. He hated that his son was going to be on his own without his brothers as back up. But when the Valley grows too unstable and the stronghold is attacked, it's a race against time for Bravo to get there and save their brother. Will they be able to save Clay and Jay or will two families mourn the loss of their family's heart? - This will be more heavy on the Seal Team character side with Jay, Will and Hailey being added in. There won't be much of the CPD characters outside of those three within it.
Story 2 Summary: It all started off as a normal day for both Clay Spenser and Jay Halstead. But that normal day quickly turns into a nightmare, one that they will need to work together to escape. Both teams are feeling the disappearance of their dearest member, but if they want to find them, they'll have to work together to track down an organization that has done this before. But finding them is only just the beginning. Can Clay and Jay survive the torture and the aftermath? Or will they both succumb to the darkness that is trying to swallow them whole? One thing is for certain, two families are about to become one and they will stop at nothing to get their brothers back. - This will have an equal split between the Seal Team characters and the CPD characters.