Hi! I'll admit I've been avoiding writing this chapter…losing a brother and then seeing my family going through it was seriously the worst, so this one was rough to write from Ron's perspective. That being said, I kind of rushed through this, but thanks so much for the patience if you're still reading. I hope you are having a wonderful June :)

oOo

"She's cute."

Following Charlotte's gaze, Ron turned his head to look over his shoulder. A pretty girl with black hair and a blue sundress stood in line at the service counter adjacent to the coffee shop table where they were seated, her eyes meeting his for a brief moment before she smiled.

"Yeah," he agreed, turning back to Charlotte and taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well," she pressed, her expression exasperated, "Aren't you going to talk to her?"

"No," he said with a chuckle, feeling a bit guilty at Charlotte's obvious disappointment. "Why do you keep urging me to talk to random girls every time we hang out?"

"I just want you to be happy," she said with a small pout.

"I am happy," he said, hoping he sounded genuine.

"You're different."

"Is that such a bad thing, though?" he asked, giving a small shrug. "I'm….calmer than I used to be."

"But your eyes are sadder than they used to be," she shot back.

Not sure how to respond, Ron moved his gaze down to the cup in his hands before taking another sip. He knew he wasn't the person he'd been before. Yes, he was still Ron Weasley, but he'd changed a lot in the last eleven months. Sure, he was at an age where he was growing up and maturing, and these days he thought his decisions through before jumping into everything head first. Even so, for the first time since he was just a kid, he was 'Ron without Hermione' and he was struggling to find who he really was without her.

"Quit pestering him, Char," Dave piped in, to Ron's relief. "Ron'll go on the pull once he's ready."

Ron held his cup up in a gesture of thanks. "Here here."

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "That girl keeps looking over here, though. It's a perfect opportunity."

"Well I'm-" Ron's pocket started buzzing and he pulled out his phone. "It's Gin," he told his friends, who nodded. "Hey, sis," Ron answered, the phone to his ear. Ginny was shrieking on the other end of the line, her words unintelligible. Panicked, Ron jumped to his feet. "Ginny, what the fuck is going on?" Through obvious tears and difficulty, Ginny started again. Ron took several steps away from the table before his knees collapsed from underneath him.

oOo

"He just left the hospital? Without telling anyone?"

"The nurse said he just walked out without a word, even when they repeatedly tried to ask him where he was going."

"Then where the hell is he?"

"I don't know."

"Has anyone talked to him at all?"

"No. The hospital called about Fr-" Ron's dad choked back a sob before continuing. "But by the time I got there, George had already disappeared."

"Where's Charlie?"

"He went to check the flat. George isn't there."

"What about the shop?"

"No, I just came from there. He wasn't there either."

"Can you think of any other place he could be?"

"I called Lee, but he didn't know either."

"Fuck."

Ron sat in numb silence as his family spoke around him. His mum was nestled at his side, also saying nothing, her eyes glassy as she stared straight ahead, seemingly at nothing. He'd only been home for about ten minutes or so, Dave and Charlotte helping him get there as he hadn't been in the state to drive.

"We'll find him," Bill said, his voice hard yet reassuring. It was as if he knew he currently had to be the rock for the family. "He didn't just disappear into thin air."

"What if he hurts himself?" Ginny asked tearfully.

"He won't," Ron's dad said firmly as he placed an arm around his only daughter. "He'll be okay."

Ron's mum stood up, the room immediately hushed as all eyes turned to her.

"Mollywobbles?" Mr Weasley said, leaving Ginny to rush to his wife's side. "What are you-"

"I'm going to bed," she said, her voice flat and emotionless, almost robotic. "I'm tired. I need to take a nap."

The siblings shared looks, their grief over the loss of their brother changing to concern over their mum.

"I… alright," Arthur responded, his voice shaky. "I'll go with you."

"No need," Mrs. Weasley said, her tone the same as before. "I'll be fine." Before her husband could protest, she walked from the living area, her bedroom door shutting quietly behind her when she made it there.

"I don't know how we're going to make it through this," Mr Weasley said quietly.

"We will," Bill said, moving to help support his dad, who now appeared rather unsteady on his feet. "It'll be hard as hell, but we will."

"I never thought…I mean…it's not how it's supposed to be is it?" his dad said as he ran a shaking hand through his thin hair. "A parent shouldn't have to outlive their child…it's not right."

Ron nodded, his thoughts mirroring his dads. He, along with the rest of his family, were still in shock, the news not fully sunk in yet.

"Let's just focus on finding George," Bill said, "Right now, it's the only productive thing we can-"

A piercing wail filled the air, and ice flooded Ron's already heavy chest as he recognized it had come from his parents' bedroom. Without hesitation, Mr. Weasley followed the sound, closing the door behind him.

As if that would help us not hear anything, Ron thought bitterly.

Bill, Percy, Ron and Ginny shared a horrified look as the gut-wrenching noises continued.

"I'm gonna-" Percy managed before taking off towards the downstairs bathroom, presumably to vomit.

No longer able to stomach it any longer, Ron rose and headed upstairs to his bedroom, leaving Ginny and Bill, neither of whom said a word. When he made it there, he started to pace, not knowing what else to do. His mind was going a million miles a minute, every instinct he had was yelling at him, telling him to help somehow…to do bloody something.

He vaguely heard the front door shutting and looked out his window to see Bill and Percy walking down the driveway to Bill's car before getting in and driving away. He was sure they were going out to continue the search for George. As much as Ron wanted to help, he knew he would only be a burden at the moment, his anxiety so high he thought his chest was going to explode.

Resuming his pacing, he ran his hands through his hair, pulling it hard but he barely felt the pain. His eyes went to the window again and even though it was no longer there, all he could see was the pulley.

The pulley.

He wanted… no, he needed….fuck, he needed her…he needed Hermione.

Right now, it didn't matter that she hated him…he had to at least try. Ron was desperate to talk to her, to lean on her like he couldn't lean on his own family. They were all just as much of a mess as he was and he refused to burden any of them with his pain.

With shaking hands, Ron pulled his phone out of his pocket. Only when he went to dial her number did he realize he didn't have one.

"Shit," he swore, throwing his phone to the bed.

Thinking of something else, he grabbed his phone again to look up the number to the university she attended. It took talking to several different people and being put on hold a few times, but finally, Ron was able to get the number to her room from a nice sounding woman who pitied him.

He called her room over and over, leaving voicemails almost every time. He didn't say much, just things like, 'Hermione, it's me. Please call me back.' Ron knew his voice would be enough for her to recognize who it was, and the negative part of himself thought that was the reason she wasn't answering. Hermione knew it was him, but she didn't want to talk to him because she didn't care. If she really and truly didn't want to talk to him though, all she had to do was say so and he would leave her alone. Until then, he was determined, and he called about every 10 minutes or so, hoping she was just in class and would be back in her room soon.

Ron wasn't even sure what number call he was on when Hermione answered, but the sound of her voice momentarily stunned him into silence.

"Helloo?" she asked again, this time sounding a little annoyed.

"Hermione?" he croaked, still unsure it was really her, though he knew it was. The realization that he was finally talking to her after all that time unleashed the emotions he'd been holding back for hours. As he burst into tears, he heard Hermione start to panic on the other end of the line, repeatedly asking him what was wrong.

"Fred's dead," he choked out. "Please come. I need you."

There was a loud gasp, and Hermione sounded as if she were now in tears too as she replied. "Ron, I'm…I'm so sorry. I'm going to come, okay? As soon as I can, I'll be there."

Before he could respond, Ginny opened his door, her face red and blotchy as she stared at him.

"Please do," he told Hermione, "I gotta go."

"I promise."

He hung up the phone, hoping with everything he had that she hadn't been lying. Hearing her voice after all those months hadn't seemed real, and part of him doubted he'd actually talked to her at all because it already felt like a brief, hazy dream.

Pushing the thought aside, he sniffed and diverted his attention to his sister. "They find him yet?"

She shook her head and Ron's heart fell. "Charlie brought home some fast-food…said we ought to eat."

"M'not hungry," he said, rubbing at his swollen eyes.

"Neither am I, but we should try."

"I don't want to go downstairs….not right now," he admitted.

"I'll bring some up for you, then."

Ron forced out a half smile in thanks, though he knew Ginny didn't buy it.

oOo

The rest of the night consisted of people coming and going, though Ron wasn't sure who. He didn't sleep a wink, though he tried. Every once in a while Ginny would come up and keep him updated on what was going on, but other than that, nobody else bothered him. He felt like a coward, hiding away in his room like he was, but the thought of going downstairs and again facing this new reality terrified him.

Fred was dead.

His brother was dead.

There was no coming back from this, Ron knew. How was life going to be from now on? Would he always feel as empty as he did now or would it eventually get better? And what about George? How was he going to get by without his other half? George was still yet to be found, even though his family had been non-stop looking for him. The thought of losing not one brother, but two, weighed heavily on Ron's mind, though he tried to stay positive that George would turn up soon.

It wasn't until the sun was starting to rise up in the sky the following morning that he felt his eyes get heavy, sleep finally taking over.

oOo

It was the smell that woke Ron. It wasn't strong, but it was a scent so achingly familiar that it took over all of his senses. It smelled like home, his lips curving up into a smile for a reason he didn't yet understand as he inhaled to get more of it. He became aware of someone's arms around him, and before he even opened his eyes to confirm who it was, Ron knew and half believed he was still dreaming.

Hermione.

She was really there, in his bed, hugging him tight. It was then that Ron's brain fully woke up, and everything that had happened the last 24 hours rushed back, the information overload making it hard to breathe as he remembered. Wrapping his arms around Hermione and returning her embrace, he clung to her tightly, terrified she would disappear again. His face was pressed into her chest as he breathed in, trying to again come to terms with everything as it hit him like a sack of bricks to his very core.

"Ron.." she whispered.

Just as it had done before on the phone, the sound of Hermione's voice undid him and Ron started to sob. Perhaps, he thought, at the end of the day she was still his safe place. Regardless of anything that had happened between them he'd never been closer to anyone else and no time or distance could change that. Losing Fred left him broken, but having Hermione there with him in his weakest moment was everything and more, something he would never be able to express in words.

Hermione said nothing and just held him, allowing him to get it all out. He wasn't sure how long he cried, but after a while he moved his face to the side so he could talk.

"You're here ," he said, his voice hoarse and almost unrecognizable.

"I am," she answered as she ran her fingers through his hair. "For however long you need me to be."

"You said you were coming," he said, "but I wasn't sure. I never thought I'd see you again, Hermione."

She didn't answer him and continued to stroke his hair.

"Mum won't leave her room. Dad has tried, but she refuses." Ron omitted the fact that he'd been doing the same. "We don't even know where the hell George is. Bill and Charlie have been running fort and taking care of things." He sighed. "It's a bloody fucking mess."

"What...what happened?" she asked quietly.

"Drunk driver." Ron swallowed. "They were on their way to work and he just came out of nowhere... t-boned them on Fred's side. There was nothing they could do, he was already-he was already gone by the time the ambulance got there."

"Oh, Ron, I'm so sorry."

"George got busted up a bit," he continued. "He has a broken arm, some bruised ribs, a small concussion. He left the hospital AMA and we don't know where he is. Dad and Bill are out looking for him now."

"I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry. Do you need me to do anything?" she asked.

He shook his head. "You being here is enough. Hell, I've missed you so fucking much."

He loosened his grip on her and she slid down until they were face to face. She reached out to gently stroke his cheek and he closed his eyes and sighed. "Are you just here out of pity, Hermione?" he asked. "All this time I thought you hated me and now I wonder if that was true and-"

"I could never hate you Ron! I was just upset and I thought you hated me," Hermione cried.

Ron opened his eyes to take in her appearance. She hadn't changed a bit, and neither, he realized, had his love for her. "Hermione, please promise me we won't stop talking ever again. I can't do it anymore, you have no idea what it's been like for me without you."

She nodded. "I promise. I hated it so much. Despite being constantly surrounded by other people, I've never been more lonely in my life. I need you."

Without a word, he planted a kiss on her forehead before pulling her into him.

"Ron, how did you find me?" she asked, looking up at him. "Who gave you the number to my room?"

"I called the school," he admitted. "They told me no at first, but I supposed they took pity on me."

Hermione appeared as if she might start crying. "You shouldn't have had to do that, Ron. I should have reached out to you a long time ago." She sniffed. "I'm sorry I left you alone in that motel room when I should've-"

He shook his head, stopping her. He couldn't have this talk. Not now. " Stop, Hermione. I don't want to talk about it. Everything…everything that happened between us…let's just forget it, okay? Nothing is worth losing you over, I know that now."

"Okay," she agreed, much to his relief. She nuzzled back into him as he pulled her even closer.

They laid there for hours, drifting in and out of sleep, their bodies close as they shifted and took turns holding one another. It was as if they were making up for the months they'd missed, neither willing to let the other go even for a second.

Although there were several kisses exchanged, they were on foreheads, hands, noses, cheeks, but never lips. Although there were still tears, Ron felt comforted and very little words were said.

At some point, Fleur brought lunch up to them and relayed the news that Charlie had found George and that the brothers were at George's flat. Ron's shoulders deflated in relief and he was able to eat for the first time since he'd gotten the call from Ginny.

The weekend, and then the rest of the week flew by. When Hermione wasn't upstairs with Ron, she was helping out around the house, mostly with the cooking and cleaning. Eventually, Ron started helping out too, going wherever Hermione went, his eyes following her at their own volition.

The funeral took place four days after she'd arrived, and other than using the bathroom several times, she didn't let go of his hand the entire day. The funeral had been harder than he'd expected, so much that he'd only wanted to lay in bed for hours afterwards, Hermione joining him and holding him as he once again fell apart.

oOo

The next night, around midnight, she finally talked him into taking a shower, which, to his surprise, did make him feel better.

"When will you go back to school?" he asked afterwards as they lay in his bed, Hermione running her fingers through his still wet hair.

"Well, I told all of my professors I would be gone for a week, but if you need me longer, then I can stay longer."

"Won't you have a shit-ton of work to catch up on if you do that?"

"Yes...but I'll manage."

Ron shook his head. "I'm not going to be selfish and ask you to stay any longer than you need to. You have a life to get back to." And it was true. As much as he wanted Hermione there with him, he knew keeping her away from school was only stacking up the work she'd have to catch up on once she returned.

Her eyes were sad as she nodded, though Ron could tell she wanted to stay just as much as he wanted her to.

"Hermione?" he asked hesitantly. He wasn't sure if he should bring this up right now, but the guilt from that night with Lavender had been eating him up for almost a year now and he knew he needed to apologize.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry," he said, "for that night."

Hermione's breath hitched and Ron realized he hadn't specified which night he'd been talking about and that she'd probably thought he meant that night at the motel.

"Shit -no! I only meant that night… that night with Lavender-" he stuttered, trying to fix his mistake.

"Oh. Yeah…" she said, seemingly unsure how to respond to the apology.

"It was immature, and yeah, as you said, I was being disgusting."

It was silent for several minutes before Hermione responded in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry I cut the rope."

Ron took a deep breath. "I reckon after what I did, I deserved it. But, I'm not going to lie, when I saw what you had done I…I've never felt more awful. I thought that was it, that we would never talk again."

"At the time, I think I sort of thought that we wouldn't."

"D'you think we would've?" he asked, "If Fred hadn't-"

She nodded. "Yes, I do. I think we would have. Apparently we were both miserable. We need each other, Ron, I see that now. We would have realized eventually."

oOo

Eight days after she'd arrived, Hermione was leaving once again. After breakfast and a round of goodbyes, Ron walked her to her car. To resist the temptation to grab her and haul her back upstairs to his room forever, he jammed his hands into his pockets.

"Thank you for coming," he said quietly, his eyes on the pavement. "I don't know how I would have gotten through all of that without you. Hell, I don't know how I'm going to manage now that you're leaving again," he admitted.

"I wish I could stay with you, Ron, If there was a way that-"

"Shhh," he cut her off, his left hand coming out of his pocket to cup her cheek. "I already know, you don't have to explain."

Hermione nodded, her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"Call me every day?" he asked.

"Every day," she confirmed.

They stepped into each other for a hug, both sighing at the familiar and comforting contact. Ron forced himself to pull away first, and tried to keep it together for her benefit even though he felt like falling apart.

"I'll come back soon, Ron," she said. "I promise. "

He nodded and leaned forward, his lips lingering on the top of her head as he squeezed her one last time. After one last small smile that he didn't return, Hermione climbed into her car and drove away, his heart breaking for a second time as she drove down the street and disappeared from sight.