I always felt like they didn't handle Santana's outing correctly. From Finn being the hero, to the lack of Brittany, everything was off. We should've seen Santana's parents reaction and we should've seen more of Brittany, because this affected her too. Mr Schuester will be a decent teacher/human being. Canon-ish (not really) but with my own twist. Excuse my incorrect use of commas and enjoy.
Also regarding Brittany's sexuality. (I want to state this because it can come across the wrong way). I don't mean to disregard bi people (there's too much biphobia happening), or to diminish Brittany's sexuality, but I personally have always felt that she was pansexual, but the writers were too pussy to make that happen back then. I hope it isn't rude or offensive and I'm deeply sorry if it is (please educate me or let me know if this is wrong :) ).
TW/ Mentions of ED, Drug Use and SA
She had really done it. She had slapped the green giant Finn Hudson. It's not like he didn't deserve it, because he really did; she had shocked herself. She didn't plan to slap him, as much as she wanted to. She was just so angry at him and he was sat there with a smirk on his face, thinking he was all high and mighty. Then Snixx took over and his face was met with a hard open palm.
"What the hell Santana?!" Finn shouted, gripping his reddening cheek with his hand.
"You- You..." She pointed her finger in his face, trying to get her words out; she didn't get the chance. Her whole body started to shake with sobs. She hated crying in front of people. Her abuela had told her numerous times how it was a sign of weakness, but at the moment she didn't have the energy to care.
She felt Brittany come up behind her, wrapping her arms around her and rubbing her back. She was whispering words of love into Santana's ear, but she couldn't hear her properly. She was too far in her head, thinking of all the things that coming out would do to her. She didn't hear the commotion around her, she just buried herself further into Brittany's embrace.
"What the hell did you do Finn?" Mercedes shouted angrily, standing up and making her way toward him. A majority of the club shouted in agreement with Mercedes.
"Why do you all think I did something? Did you not just see her hit me?!" Why was he the bad guy here? He had just been slapped and for what? Why didn't anyone understand that he was helping Santana and that it wasn't a big deal? And why did no one care the he had been SLAPPED?
"Finn look at her!" Everyone turned their heads toward Santana. Brittany had pulled them both to the floor and was rocking Santana back and forth, as heart-breaking cries came from her. Shelby was stood next to them, placing a sympathetic hand on Brittany's shoulder. "I have never seen Santana cry sober, never mind broken!" Mercedes continued. That was partly true. The only times Santana has cried in front of her was when she was under the influence, and when Mercedes made a comment in booty camp about her eating disorder. It had really hurt Santana's feelings and she'd gotten emotional in front of Mercedes. She'd felt awful about it, but she was quickly forgiven because Santana knew she didn't mean it.
"I hate to say it Finn, but she's right. What happened?" Kurt asked, trying to be fair and equal, which would definitely not last long.
"She's overreacting! This is what she does!" He said whilst waving his arms about angrily, deflecting from what he's done.
"Finn that's enough!" Mr Schuester yelled, cutting Finn off and causing everyone to turn silent. "What you've done is incredibly hurtful and I'm quite shocked that you'd do such a thing, especially considering some of your peers." He stared deep into Finn's angry eyes. "Something like this could ruin her life Finn. You don't know how people are going to react to this. She wasn't ready and there are reasons why."
Blaine gently puts his hand over Kurt's, giving it a loving squeeze. He has a feeling he knows what this is about and if it's true he knows Kurt is going to be way more pissed than he is. Kurt squeezes back, giving Blaine a confused look. He gives Kurt a stare and somehow Kurt understands to prepare himself for what's about to unravel.
"Please just tell us what happened Mr Schue." Quinn said, feeling extremely worried for her friend. She has an idea what's happened and she's just about ready to rip Finn's head off.
Santana couldn't listen any longer. She needed to get out of here, so that's what she did. She stood up from Brittany's embrace and bolted out of the room before anyone could react. She heard people shout her name, and she knew that Miss Corcoran and Brittany were following her. She didn't care, she just needed to be alone. As she got outside, she realised that her bag and her car keys were still inside, luckily her phone was in her bra. She didn't stop running though. She continued to run off the school grounds and down the street, silently thanking Coach Sylvester for her being able to run like this.
Brittany watched her as she sprinted down the road. She was about to chase after her, but Shelby caught her arm, stopping her from moving.
"Let her go, we wouldn't be able to catch her." Shelby said softly. Brittany just sighed and nodded. Even though Sue taught her well, Santana was way too far ahead to keep up with. "Let's go back inside and we'll try calling her. If we don't hear from her in 30 minutes we'll call her parents, okay?" Brittany just nodded sadly and followed Miss Corcoran back to the auditorium. As they got back, they saw that Burt Hummel, Kurt's father, was waiting outside the auditorium. He gave Brittany an understanding smile and together they entered.
"Dad what are you doing here?" All heads turned toward the top of the stairs, where the three were stood.
"I was called in earlier today by Sue to speak to Santana and offer my help." He told everyone. His eyes stopped on Finn and he gave him sharp glare. "You're all probably wondering what happened. Mr Schuester, if I may?" Will gestures with his hands to take over. He's glad that Burt is deciding to take the the reins in telling the other glee kids, because honestly Mr Schue doesn't know where to start. "A few days ago, Santana and Finn got into an altercation of sorts. He let it slip that Santana is gay." Before he could continue, Kurt shot up angrily, Blaine's hand being thrown off in a flurry.
"You did what?! I can't believe you Finn! You outed her?" He asked, eyes full of rage dancing over Finn's reddened face.
"What's the big deal? Everyone already knew!" He tried to defend himself, but when he saw everyone's faces, he realised he shouldn't have.
"75% of us knew, yet none of us have ever said anything! We stayed silent for a reason Finn. You don't know how her family is going to react to this, not everyone's parents are as supportive as my dad!" Kurt couldn't believe that his own brother, he's gotten really close to Finn and sees him as his real brother, would do something like this. Out someone like this, knowing full well how much of a hard time Kurt had just for being openly gay.
"That's true. You don't think I knew?" Quinn slowly made her way over to wear Finn was sitting. "I've been best friends with those girls for so long. I've seen sides to them that they don't show. I've known about them since the summer before freshman year and I've never once said anything!" She was beyond livid. She knew how much San had been struggling with this. Santana had never actually spoke to her about it, but she still knew.
"Quinn, I understand your anger, believe me I'm there with you, but I don't think shouting is going to solve anything." Shelby said calmly, trying to diffuse the situation. Quinn stared down Shelby, hard. They had their own drama with the whole Beth thing, but she knew Shelby was right. Finn was a dumb oaf and he wasn't going to take in anything they were screaming at him. Quinn just nodded and took a step back. Shelby turned her attention back to Finn. "I hope you realise what you've done." She spun on her feet and went back to comforting a worried Brittany.
"Finn, I think it's best that you leave." Mr Schue said with a deep sigh. He looked around the room, watching as everyone's angry expressions turn into ones of relief. He realised he'd made the best choice. "You turned your back on one of your own and it won't stand. You're out of glee club."
"What?" He stood up angrily. He can't believe this. Santana gets away with everything, but when he does it he gets kicked out. "Rachel, come on, you can't let him do this to me." He spoke to the girl who had been unusually quiet during this whole ordeal.
"No Finn." She said gently. She turned to him with an unreadable expression on her face. "You knew that my dad was outed horribly, you knew! You knew and you still did this to Santana? Just leave Finn." Finn looked stunned. He wasn't expecting Rachel to side against him.
"Fine, whatever." And with that, he stormed up the stairs and out of the auditorium.
It'd been around 30 minutes now. Just after Finn had left, Burt continued the explanation of what happened. They all felt awful for Santana, because she wasn't just being outed at school, she was being outed to all of Ohio. Then after the explanation, most of the glee club had gone home, but Brittany, Quinn, Mercedes, Kurt and surprisingly Rachel all stayed back. Mr Schue and Burt had gone to Sue's office to discuss things about the campaign. They were all still worried, as she wasn't answering her phone and they didn't know where she went.
"Maybe she went straight home?" Rachel added hopefully.
"I'll have to call her parents." Shelby pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Even though it technically wasn't school hours, she still didn't feel right with Santana leaving as she did.
"Call their house phone, I'll pull the number up now." Quinn reached into her pocket and pulled her phone out. She quickly searched for the number and handed it to Shelby. "Her mom should be home by now."
Shelby dialled the number to Santana's residence and waited patiently for the phone to ring. It rung three times before it was picked up.
"Hello?" Maribel Lopez said as she answered the phone.
"Hello, is this Mrs Lopez?" Shelby asked, waiting for confirmation before continuing. "This is Shelby Corcoran, Santana's glee teacher, I'm just calling to see if Santana made it home okay?"
"I didn't see her car out front, I've only just gotten home, I'll check now." She was slightly worried. Why would Santana's teacher check to see if she made it home? Shouldn't she still be at glee? She placed her hand over the speaker and shouted up the stairs. "Santana? Mija, are you there?" Getting no answer, she moves up the stairs to Santana's room to find it empty. She uncovers the phone and resumes the conversation. "She's not here. Is she not at glee practise?" She was becoming increasingly worried now.
"No she's not." Shelby sighed. She didn't want to give too much away, as she wanted Santana to be able to at least have the chance to tell her parents. "There was a situation of sorts, and it left Santana very upset. She ran out of the school and she hasn't come back or answered anyone calls in half an hour."
"Oh dios mío," Maribel gasped into the phone. A million things were rushing through her head. Her daughter was missing, granted it had only been for 30 minutes, but she wasn't thinking of that right now. Her daughter was extremely upset and had ran away. Santana had a tendency to do that when she was upset, and no matter how many times she's done it, she always worries herself sick. "She does this a lot, she usually disappears for a few hours and comes back home. Her father and I have told her numerous times to stop this and just go to her room, but she gets overwhelmed and needs space to clear her head."
"I've gotten to know her recently and she opens up to me sometimes." Shelby responded. Ever since she started The Troubletones, she's gotten to know all the girls better and Santana has really improved her behaviour. "When she finds herself getting really angry instead of lashing out, she leaves the room and calms herself down." Shelby said with a hint of something more to her voice that Mrs Lopez picked up on.
"I'm glad, her behaviour has been a constant topic of conversation ever since she was younger." Maribel sighed, from the tone of her voice Shelby knew it wasn't just her behaviour she was referring to, but her other issues as well; Maribel understood this and gave another sigh. "I should probably go call my husband now. Thank you very much for telling me Miss Corcoran."
"No worries, I want to keep all my students safe." They quickly wrapped up the phone call and once she hung up, she filled the other kids in on the conversation.
"Yeah her dad will probably drive around to look for her." Brittany said when she explained that Maribel was calling Mr Lopez. Mercedes gave her look as if to say 'How the hell do you know that?'. Brittany just blushed and shrugged. "It's what he usually does."
"Well kids, it doesn't look like she's going to come back. it's probably best that you all head home now." Shelby suggested, looking around at all the worried teens.
"That's probably a good idea." Rachel replied, before turning to Brittany. "How are you doing with all this? It affects you too you know."
"I'm angry. I'm not upset that I've been outed too, you know like a 'by-product'?" She asked, wondering if that was the right word to use. Rachel just brushed her off to let her know that she understands. "I mean, I've wanted our relationship to go public for a long long time and I'm kind of already out. I'm just so angry because Santana wasn't. She wasn't ready at all, and now she doesn't get to 'be ready'. Her choice was taken and that's why I'm pissed." She finished her explanation and Rachel could hear the anger behind her deep breaths. It was the angriest she had ever seen Brittany, she reminded her of a dragon in that moment. Rachel just nodded back at her. There wasn't really anything to say.
Santana didn't know what she was doing, she just knew she needed to get out of there. She just couldn't listen to them talk about it any longer. She felt like she couldn't breathe.
She knew she was having a panic attack. She has some anxiety issues, nothing major that corrupts her everyday living, but enough that she gets panic attacks and has to be on medication. She is a very closed off person and doesn't tell people a lot of things, so a lot of people didn't know this about her, unlike her eating disorder, which was an unspoken thing between the glee members. But this is why she needs to run when things get too much. She needs the space so she can breathe clearly.
Usually when she runs, she visits her good friend Mary Jane. She would go to Pucks, they'd smoke and then have sex, but she dropped the sex part months ago, and when he wasn't available, she would reluctantly meet up with The Mack and would smoke by herself at the abandoned playground. The latter sounded like the best idea for her right now.
When she ran from the school, she didn't stop until she reached the old rec centre, where the skanks usually hung out. She didn't have anything on her so she promised to pay them back and then walked away with 3 rolled joints. Luckily the rec centre wasn't far from the abandoned playground; she made her way there. She fished out her backup lighter that she keeps in her bra, don't judge it's good storage, and lit up the first joint.
For 10 minutes she smokes and refuses her mind to take her to the bad places. She focuses on the marijuana entering in and out of her lungs, and the way it makes her feel. Soon enough she feels a warm rush take over her, that's when she knows a good buzz is coming on. She does the same to the second one too. This is exactly what she needs to calm down. She finds her breathing becomes easier, ironic with the smoking, her head becomes fuzzier, drowning the jumbled thoughts away, and her whole body just relaxes. It's amazing.
Brittany hadn't gone straight home. She called her mom and told her that Santana had ran away. Her mom knew exactly what she meant as she'd known the girl for a long time, and knew everything about her anxiety troubles. However, she didn't expect Brittany to be so upset? Angry? Emotional? She didn't really know what word to use. Brittany hadn't gone into to detail about what happened this time, but she knew it wasn't good. She loved Santana like a daughter and Brittany reacting this way was making Susan Pierce extremely worried.
Brittany had called to tell her that she was going to go and drive around to try and find Santana. Mrs Pierce gave her the okay because it was still early and light out; Brittany also promised she wouldn't be out too late. So with her mom's permission, that's exactly what Brittany did. She grabbed both hers and Santana's things and made her way to Santana's car. She usually dropped Brittany home after school and was allowed to use the car whenever.
First she checked the area around the school, then she drove more towards the town, specifically Breadstix way, then she checked the mall, the big park and the Lima Bean but she kept coming up empty handed. She knew she promised she wouldn't drive around too long, so she headed back to the Lopez household.
She slowly walked up the porch steps and knocked on the door. She guessed that Maribel must've thought it was Santana because Brittany had never seen a door open quicker.
"Oh, hello Brittany," Her face fell slightly, and she had an embarrassed tone when she spoke. "Come in." She motioned toward the house and moved out the way to let Brittany step inside.
"Hey Mrs L," She waved at the older woman. "I tried to find her but I couldn't." She said dejectedly.
"That's alright Brittany. You know Santana, she does a good job to hide herself." Ain't that the truth, Brittany thought silently. "Brittany?" She asked quietly. "Should I be worried?"
Brittany thought about that for a moment. Should she be worried? Well that all depends on how Maribel will respond. She doesn't know what the Lopez' opinions are on homosexuality. All she knows is that they're more conservative than Brittany's parents. So Brittany went with the truth. "It depends. Something happened. Something big, and I don't want to tell you what because that's up to Santana, but it's big and she's so so scared." Brittany was getting more emotional as she explained to Maribel.
"Shh don't cry, come here Brittany." She didn't even realise she was crying. Maribel pulled Brittany into a hug, giving her the motherly embrace she needed at that moment. She inwardly giggled at the height difference. Maribel was around 4'11 and she was 5'8, it looked more like Brittany was the one comforting her, but she appreciated it nonetheless.
After a couple seconds, Brittany pulled away, wiping the remaining tears on her face. "Sorry, I guess I'm just scared for her too."
"Brittany cariño, nothing she could tell me would make me love her less. She's my baby and I love her unconditionally." Maribel responded dearly. She loved Santana so much and she always would. Their conversation was interrupted when the front door swung open, and in walked an angry looking Antonio Lopez and a guilty looking Santana.
"I couldn't find her so I decided to come back home and as I did, there she was stumbling down the side of the street!" He was so angry. Livid to be exact. This isn't the first time he's caught her inebriated and it probably won't be the last.
"Really Santana?! You're drunk?" Maribel shouted with disbelief. It was then that Brittany really looked at Santana. The girl's eyes were glazed over and she looked extremely dazed.
"She's not drunk. She's been smoking, look at her eyes." Antonio stated loudly. Brittany looked closer and saw how her pupils were dilated, and her eyes were red.
"Again?" Maribel sighed. They'd caught her smoking cigarettes, drinking, and smoking cannabis in the past. Antonio had wanted to send her to rehab, but Maribel thought that would be a terrible idea as Santana's anxiety was at an all time high due to the fact that she was in recovery for her eating disorder. They had been lenient and gave her one final chance. She had gotten high since then but she had been careful not to get caught, however she didn't really care at this moment. She wasn't an addict, by any means, she just loved to blaze.
"Santana I'm sick of you doing this! We gave you a final chance and-"
"Tony! Stop shouting at her. She's obviously really upset about something and I want to hear what she has to say before we jump down her throat." She loved her husband but he was never good at reading between the lines. Much like Santana, he tends to let his anger get the best of him and just let out his frustrations with no filter. Maribel knew her baby girl didn't do this for 'fun', when she walked through the front door, she could see the terror and brokenness written all over Santana's face. She made her way over to Santana, who hadn't said a word or moved a muscle, and embraced her in a warm hug. "Come and tell me what's got you so worked up."
"I-I can't-" Santana had reached her limit. She just started breaking down in her mother's arms. Weeping and weeping, trying to rid the anxiety through her tears. It wasn't working, obviously, in fact it was just making her even more tired.
"Shh mija, it's okay. Your papi and I love you so much." After a while, Santana's cries and muttered apologies had stopped. She was sat down on the couch, curled on her mother's lap, just like she used to do when she was younger. Feeling Santana's breaths even out, Maribel looked down to see that her daughter had fallen asleep. Santana often would when she had a big panic attack or got very emotional. She softly brushed her fingers over Santana's face, moving some of her long hair out the way. She turned back to Brittany and her husband. "I think we should let her sleep for a little bit so she can try and sober up." Brittany nodded her head in response. That made sense. Pausing slightly, Maribel asked Brittany another question. "Has she eaten today?"
Brittany thought about it. Had she eaten? She declined when Brittany offered her some banana this morning. She'd been chewing gum all day. She didn't eat anything at lunch either. Now that she's thought about it, Santana hasn't had lunch all week. Brittany groaned guiltily. Why didn't she notice? "She hasn't had lunch this week. I'm sorry."
"Don't you dare apologise Brittany." Maribel said sternly. Maribel sighed again remembering this morning. "She didn't eat breakfast either. Do you think she's relapsed?" She watched as her husband flinched and his eyes grew stormy. She looked at the girl in her arms and teared up a little bit. It pained her that her daughter couldn't see how beautiful she was.
"I hope not. I think it's just the stress surrounding this big thing." Brittany said, trying her best not to out Santana, like that lump of lard Finn.
"Whatever it is has got her really worked up. Her anxiety is high, she's back to smoking and her eating disorder..." He choked up as he said the last word. It was a sore spot for the Lopez'. Every time he saw or heard something about the topic, his mind took him back to last year when Santana was hospitalized. It was an image forever ingrained in his head. His daughter looking so fragile. Weak. Broken. It haunted him. "I just want her to be okay."
"We all do mi amor and we'll make sure she is." Maribel sent her husband a gentle smile, which he returned. He was going to do everything to make sure his princesa would be okay. Brittany glanced over at the grandfather clock and realised she had to be home in ten minutes. Maribel noticed and said something. "Do you need to leave sweetie?" Brittany blushed and nodded. She didn't want to seem rude and leave but she really needed to get back. "You're more than welcome to stay you know."
"I know Mrs L. I just need to get back to my mom. Now I know that San's safe, I feel better going home." She would have been worrying herself sick if Antonio hadn't of found Santana. She probably wouldn't have slept either.
Mr Lopez offered to give Brittany a ride home, which she accepted. She really didn't want to walk, even if it was only for 15 minutes.
5 minutes later they pulled up outside the Pierce residence. Brittany thanked Antonio and made her way inside.
As soon as she stepped through the door, her nose caught a huge whiff of the spaghetti bolognaise her mom was making for dinner.
"Michael! Ashley! Dinner's ready!" Susan moved from the kitchen to the bottom of the stairs, which just so happened to be by the front door. She wasn't paying attention to the door, so when she turned around she jumped in fright at the sight of her eldest daughter entering the house. "Brittany honey, you scared the life out of me!"
"Sorry mom." Brittany giggled as a cheeky smile made its way across her face.
"You're home just in time, dinner's ready!" Her mom rushed back into the kitchen and Brittany followed eagerly, stomach rumbling on the way.
The four all sat down to dinner and had dug right in. Susan had avoided asking Brittany about Santana knowing that Brittany would speak about it when she's ready. Brittany took another bite of her spaghetti and looked up at her mom. She knew her mom was dying to know what was going on so she decided to get it over with. She carefully put down her knife and fork, cleared her throat and watched as everyone stopped eating and turned toward her.
"I need to tell you guys something and I know that we've already spoken about it before, but there's more to it, so please let me finish without interrupting." Brittany rambled. Her mother was very over the top and tended to blurt things out, much like Brittany. She watched as her mother and father both nodded whilst her little sister shrugged and continued eating her dinner. She took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm bisexual, maybe pansexual. I don't know, I just like who I like."
She looked up as her mother and father smiled at her. Sexuality was something the Pierce's had been very open about with their kids. Brittany had been 'out' to her parents for years. They never saw it as something different about her or something she had to tell them. When she was younger, it was never 'Brittany what boys do you like?' or 'What prince are you going to marry?'. It was always 'Do you like any boys or girls?' or 'You'll find a prince or princess when you're older Brittany.'
"I know that you know this but I just want to say it out loud to you guys." She gave them a warm smile, which they gladly returned. "Now that that's out of the way, I actually have a girlfriend." Brittany did a little wiggle in her seat as she thought of Santana.
Her mom let out a loud squeal that closely resembled a beach ball deflating. "I know you said not to interrupt, but I'm just so happy for you! Tell me everything!" She excitedly looked over at her daughter and then to her husband, who had a knowing smirk on his face. "What's her name? How old is she? Does she go to your school? What is she like? When can I meet her? What is her-"
"Mom!" Brittany shouted out. Her mom muttered out a sheepish apology, whilst Brittany had an amused look on her face. "Well, you guys actually know her. Very well actually." Her mom raised her eyebrow in question. Michael still had his smirk. "It's um...it's Santana."
Everything went silent for a moment. Her dad finally broke this silence "Pay up Susan." The smirk on his face grew even larger. Susan let out a huge groan before pulling a 10 dollar bill from her pocket. Michael accepted the money with a smug smile.
"Woah, what just just happened here?" Brittany said with a frown on her face, looking between her parents.
"Well Britty, we've always suspected that there was something more to yours's and Santana's relationship." She said while looking to her husband for help.
"And uh-," Michael rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Your mother and I made our own bet on when you would tell us."
Brittany's frown stayed on her face for a little while longer whilst she processed this information. "Is it really that obvious?"
"Yes Britty!" Ashley sighed and rolled her eyes, fed up with her sister. "Even I knew!"
Her parents both giggled at their youngest daughter, causing her to frown.
"We're sorry Britty, it's not a bad thing. We've just seen the way you both look at each other and it's magical." Susan smiled at her husband's words and quickly chimed in.
"It's how we used to look at each other when we were your age too." Susan took another bite of pasta and decided to tease Brittany again. "And besides you two are not as quiet as you think you are."
Brittany's face flushed bright red in embarrassment. She looked down at her food, using her fork to have some.
"Please Susan, I don't need to hear about this." Brittany looked up seeing her dad's face was just as red as hers, making both her and her mother laugh.
They finished up the rest of their dinner with small conversations, including her parents asking Brittany to invite Santana round for dinner one day, which she agreed. They ate some homemade pie that Susan had made for desert and were now in the process of clearing up the dishes.
"Thanks mom but I can't do the dishes, I need to go and feed Mr Sprinkles!" Ashley took off running out the kitchen and the other Pierce's laughed when they heard her little stomps up the stairs.
"Why did we get her a hamster again?" Michael joked and brought his plate to the sink.
"Beats me honey." Susan laughed along with him and grabbed his plate from his hands.
Now that Ashley had gone, Brittany realised it was the perfect time to finish explaining what happened with Santana.
"Yes honey?" Brittany's mom wasn't really paying attention as she was filling up the sink with dish soap and water.
"I didn't really tell you guys the whole story before." Their ears perk up and they both turn their attention to their daughter. "She's being outed."
Brittany went into an in depth explanation about what had happened with Sue, the campaign and school. Her parents were both shocked, upset and angry that someone had let this happen in the first place.
"I just-I don't know what to do." She said brokenly.
"Oh sweetie." Susan whispered sympathetically, bringing Brittany in for a hug. "All you can do is be there for her. At the end of the day, it's going to be you she comes to for love and support. You should just show her how much you love her and how much you care."
"I love her so much." Brittany finally let the tears she'd been holding out. She was crying for Santana. She hated that this was happening to her and that there was nothing she could do about it. All the damage had been done.
"I know Britty. She loves you too."
The faint sound of a phone buzzing caused Santana to rouse from her sleep. She slowly sat up, rubbing her eyes, before opening them. She was immediately confused. How the hell did she get into bed? She tried to recall what had happened and then remembered. Finn. Mash-off. Running. Smoking. Stumbling. Yelling. Crying. Then, well, sleeping. That explained the headache she was nursing.
She remembered what had woken her up and reached into her bra to receive it. She saw she had over 50 missed calls and texts. They were from Quinn, Shelby, Rachel, Mercedes, Brittany (She smiled as she saw her girlfriend's name) and her parents. But none of them were the ones to make her phone buzz. It was The Mack and it simply read: 'You still owe me Lopez'
She scoffed and threw her phone down beside her. She knows she can't avoid it any longer. She has to tell her parents, it's eating her up inside. Also her dad will probably send her to rehab if she didn't tell them but still. Why did Finn Hudson have to open his stanky mouth?
She just sighed, pulling herself off of her bed and making her way downstairs. She walked slowly, with a huge grimace on her face, thinking of everything that could go wrong. As she reached the bottom, she peered around the door frame to look into the living room where she knew her parents would be. They were sat next to each other, drinking their coffees in silence.
Santana let out a deep breath and braced herself for what was about to come. She cleared her throat making two pairs of eyes turn toward her. They both looked extremely upset and worried. Santana gulped loudly knowing she caused this. She moved closer to them so that she was stood directly in front of them both.
"You deserve an explanation." She looked down at her fingers that were snapping against her thigh. It was one of her anxiety tics that she got frequently. Her mom also noticed and lent forward to reach for her hands, but Santana pulled them back quickly. "Don't...don't touch me." She turned around and started pacing, brushing her hands through her hair.
"Santanita stop." Antonio said gently. "You're working yourself up even more. You don't have to be scared to tell us anything okay? Anything."
She nodded and took one final deep breath and stopped her pacing. She looked straight to the floor though. She didn't want any eye contact. She couldn't stand to see the looks on their faces.
"There's something I need to tell you both." She started. "It's something I've kept from you for a long time. I'm still not ready to deal with it but I have no other choice." Her breathing picked up when she thought of the ad, but she quickly pushed it down. "I've tried so hard to stop it, forced myself to change. I can't anymore. I need to come to terms with it and I hate myself for it." This was it. This was the moment that could determine the rest of her life. "I'm...I'm gay." She said it so quietly it was almost inaudible but she knew her parents had heard it.
She shut her eyes as soon as the words left her mouth. It wasn't even a second later that Maribel jumped off her feet and pulled Santana into the biggest hug. She still didn't open her eyes but she heard her mom sobbing and her dad come up behind her and tightly wrap his arms around them both.
"Mija, open your eyes." Her dad whispered. Reluctantly she opened them and turned to stare at her father. She was expecting cold, hatred filled eyes, but all he saw was warm, compassionate ones.
"You're supposed to hate me." She said bewilderedly, her voice choking up slightly. She refused to cry though.
"Baby we could never hate you. We love you so much." Her mom cried next to her. She couldn't believe that this is what Santana had been destroying herself over. She felt so guilty that she and her husband didn't do enough to make their own daughter feel comfortable to be who she was. "God Santana. We're so proud of you."
That was all it took for Santana to break. It started with intense body-shaking crying. Then she let out a scream so full of pain it frightened her parents. She just cried out, her body giving way with the intensity of it all. Luckily Antonio had been able to catch her before she could hit the floor. All of the pain caused by years of struggling with her sexuality was being released from her body.
He held is baby girl in his arms as she screamed apologies at both of them. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I tried to be normal. I'm sorry." He didn't register his wife crying next to him or his own wet cheeks. His princesa in his arms had his full focus. How didn't he see she was deeply struggling with this? Both him and Maribel knew about Santana's sexuality before she did. Should they have done more to help her feel accepted? He couldn't think about that now. His own guilt could wait.
"Never apologise for being who you are mija. We love you. We're so proud of you." He murmured these words over and over again as her crying came to a stop. He vowed to say these words to her a whole lot more now that he's seen the depths of her self-hatred.
Over the weekend, Santana and her parents had had numerous un-Lopez-like talks. After Santana had woken up from crying herself to sleep, again, she told them about Brittany and they were over the moon; they adored the girl. Her mom had wanted to have a 'girl talk', as she put it, to talk about her relationship. Although Santana had been cringed out by the idea, she appreciated it, but she couldn't accept anyway, as she still had to talk about the campaign ad. To say her parents were furious was an understatement. Her mom was a lawyer and was preparing to legally take down Reggie 'The Sauce' Salazar, whilst her father was preparing to physically take him down.
On top of that, her parents were also implementing a change. Her mom was going to take a few weeks off from work and work at home on the weekends. Her dad was taking the weekends off from the hospital, unless it was a desperate emergency. They wanted to stay home and 'babysit', as Santana put it, that wasn't the case though. They just wanted to help her get back on track. They had planned to have regular 'check ups' to see how everyone was doing, mainly Santana. It was a thing they did last year when Santana's issues were at their height. They thought it was a good idea to bring it back now to prevent things getting that bad again. Santana was also going to have these 'check-ups' with Miss Pillsbury, the guidance counsellor. Even though she was as mentally unstable and kooky as the teens she helped, she was a highly trained counsellor.
She had also been banned from Cheerio's. Santana was expecting that as well. She had kind of been relapsing with her anorexia, and the Cheerio's were not a safe space for recovery. It was so toxic, especially with things relating to weight, appearance, food etc. She didn't re-join last year for this very reason, but she was doing really well during the summer and with a lot of debating, Maribel reluctantly let her re-join. Maribel had called Sue up and updated her on Santana's condition, and with the snap of her fingers she was benched.
On the bright side of things, Brittany came round for family dinner on Sunday. They all had a blast watching movies, playing board games and eating a ton of junk food, which Santana ate some of. Things turned sour though when they all decided to watch some TV. During an episode of Jeopardy, Reggie's campaign ad had aired. It came on during the commercial break and everyone went silent. Santana felt so violated. They had actually exposed her throughout all of Ohio. Her parents were outraged and immediately got up to sort it out whilst Brittany stayed with her and comforted her.
In conclusion, her weekend wasn't very good.
So now here she was on Monday, walking through the hall, avoiding everyone's stares, wishing that she could leave. Luckily she wasn't wearing her Cheerio's uniform, so she didn't stand out as much; people still found her nonetheless. Snide remarks had been made, cruel ones at that, all featuring a homophobic quip. Numerous guys had come up to her and offered to have sex with her, or ask to watch her have sex with Brittany. The glee girls had stepped in when the worst one had happened. Josh Coleman. But that didn't stop him from roughly feeling her up and rubbing on her under the bleachers whilst she was pinned against a fence. Coach Beiste had found them before it could get too far and with a threat to kick him from the rugby team, he said he'd leave her alone. Coach told her to go to Miss Pillsbury's office whilst she called her parents, so that's where she was headed now.
"Santana, come in and take a seat."
"Miss Pillsbury I'm fine really. You don't need to do all this." Santana sighed as she sat down in front of the ginger woman.
"I don't think you understand the severity of the situation." She replied honestly. Santana obviously didn't understand how horrible what happened really was.
"It's not a big deal." She brushed off defensively. "It's not like he raped me or anything."
"Santana what he did to you was sexual assault. Who knows how much further he would've gone if Coach Beiste wasn't there to stop him."
She was speechless. She hadn't thought of that. Was it really sexual assault? He did touch her there underneath her clothes and she was pretty scared, no, terrified, but that didn't mean it was something so serious did it? She always presumed it was normal when making out with boys, even if she did say no and didn't want it to happen. The realisation hit her like a truck and she suddenly felt dirty.
Miss Pillsbury noticed the shift in her eyes and demeanour. A wave of sympathy washed over her. She could tell that her words really hit Santana and showed her the truth to the situation.
"Santana I know you might be scared, but what matters now is that you're honest with me, your parents and even possibly the police. We need to keep you and other students safe." The doe-eyed woman said gently, trying not to overwhelm Santana, but failing miserably.
A few tears escaped out of the teenager's eyes. "Is my mom here yet?" Her voice cracked with emotion.
"She'll be here any moment." Emma handed over the box of tissues to Santana. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to overwhelm you."
"S'okay." She mumbled through her tears, trying to calm herself down. "I-I-I..."
"You don't have to say anything." Emma soothed, knowing Santana was only going to work herself up even further. "Let's just wait until your mom arrives okay?"
"Okay." Santana nodded and sniffled, desperately wanting her mother.
Maribel tried to get to the school as fast as she could. She'd received a call that her daughter had been assaulted by another student and she was furious. So when she finally arrived at McKinley High, she practically ran down the school hallways until she reached the guidance counsellor's office. She watched through the window and immediately ran inside when she saw how upset Santana was. She was trembling with tears running down her cheeks, whilst her body was involuntarily performing its anxiety tics.
"Oh mija!" She sighed, making Santana's whole body whip around.
"Mami!" She cried, falling into the arms that had opened up for her.
"Shh you're okay, I've got you." She stroked the raven locks of her daughter, attempting to sooth her and calm her down.
Santana was starting to feel a lot better now that she was in her mother's arms. She was thinking clearly and her breathing was starting to become more controlled.
"Mrs Lopez, you probably want to know what happened." Emma decided to speak now that everyone had calmed slightly. "A member of our staff found Santana being assaulted under the bleachers. A sophomore student appeared to be forcing himself onto her." Maribel willed herself to not cry after hearing a little bit about what happened to her baby. When she received the phone call and heard 'assault' she thought that Santana may have been jumped or even just slapped. Never in a million years did she think her baby would be assaulted sexually. "I haven't asked Santana to speak about it yet as this is very serious and I wanted to have a parent here to help her feel more comfortable."
"Nita is this true?" She squeezed her daughter's hand in anticipation.
"Yes." She looked down biting her lip, too afraid to make eye contact with anyone. "H-He told me earlier that he wanted to 'straighten me out' a-and the girls from glee defended me and yelled at him. I'm guessing it made him angry or something." The hand that wasn't holding Maribel's began to tap against her thigh. "We went to glee and everything was fine, then lunch came. I was going the c-cafeteria to try and eat something b-but then he came out of nowhere. He grabbed my arm and t-told me..." She stopped herself. She didn't want to say what he told her.
"Santana what did he say?" Maribel said gently, grabbing her daughter's hand that was tapping against herself with her free one. Santana looked up hesitantly and bit her lip.
"H-he told me to come with him and I said no. I tried to walk away but when I turned around he tripped me and I fell to the floor." She really didn't want to say the next part in front of her mother, but she knew that she had to. "I shouted at him and he s-said 'come on Lopez, everyone knows a slut like you likes being on her knees'." A few more tears slid down tan cheeks and she felt her mother's hands grip tighter around hers . "He asked me again to come with him, but he didn't let me answer. He just said 'I can always ask your dyke girlfriend.'"
"So you went with him?" Emma finished for the young student. Santana nodded, but refused to look at either adult.
"We're not angry Santana. I understand you're probably embarrassed, angry and upset, but that doesn't mean that we are with you, okay?" Maribel tried to reassure her daughter that she wasn't in trouble. She knew Santana was heavily embarrassed by what she told them, but Maribel wasn't. The truth was, the older Latina had known that her daughter was sexually active. As much as she didn't like it, she couldn't stop her and just made sure that she was at least being safe and responsible.
"Okay." Santana nodded again, but continued looking at clasped hands on her lap.
"What happened under the bleacher's Santana?" The ginger counsellor asked quietly.
"He pushed me against the chain fence and started to kiss me. I-I tried to push him off b-but he was too s-strong. He kept whispering things in my ear like 'you're gonna love this' and 'you just need a real guy'." Her legs started to shake and bounce on their own accord. "H-He started to t-touch my chest and I kept saying stop but he wouldn't listen. He g-gripped me by the neck and told me to be quiet." She let go of one of her mom's hands and touched her neck, scratching it nervously without realising. "H-He made me...H-He put his fingers in my m-mouth and then touched me there until Coach Beiste showed up."
Her whole body was now trembling. Now that she had said it out loud, she truly understood the seriousness of his actions and it scared her. She didn't want to see him ever again, the thought of it making her nauseous.
"Cálmate mija, te amo mucho cariño." Maribel soothed comforting Spanish words into her daughter's ear. She pulled Santana into her own body, attempting to stop her nervous twitches and comfort her. She gently took Santana's hand that had been scratching her neck and brought it away, making the faint scratches Santana had left there visible. She could also see bruising starting to happen on where she assumed this Josh had strangled her.
"M-m-mami..." Santana cried when her head hit her mother's shoulders. She could feel all of her anxious energy in her chest. Her body was trembling and her chest was getting tighter. She tried to listen to what her mom and Miss Pillsbury were telling her but all she could hear was her own heartbeat beating rapidly. The tunnel vision started to kick in, disorienting the cheerleader and making it difficult to see. This only caused her panic to worsen.
Her breaths came in with short, sharp and painful gasps with her chest feeling like it's being stomped on. She couldn't breathe. It was becoming too much. Her vision was closing in on her and she was oblivious to her surroundings and the people trying to help her, until a foreign object was pushed into her mouth. Instead of freaking out and pushing it away, she took a moment and realised it was her inhaler. She tried to calm herself down, being a lot easier with the puffs from her inhaler, and took as many slow-deep, albeit shaky breaths, as she could.
Her vision slowly began to return and the thump of heart wasn't the only thing she could hear anymore. The voices of two concerned adults washed into her ears. The cheerleader slowly brought her head up from where she'd tucked it into her mother's chest and saw two sets of worried eyes.
"You're safe Santana." Miss Pillsbury assured, knowing that right now the young girl needed a sense of safety.
"I wanna go home." Santana mumbled, tears filling her eyes quickly.
Maribel caught Emma's eye and they both sighed. "Nita, we need to speak to the police." Maribel said gently, but still caused Santana to whimper.
She felt incredibly guilty that her daughter had to go through this and explain what happened to the police. She wanted nothing more then to run home and lock Santana away from the world, but she knew that she couldn't do that.
"I need to go home." Her panic filled eyes stared up at her mother, increasing the guilt.
Emma saw how upset both mother and daughter were getting and decided to step in. "Santana, it's really important that you speak with the police. Because it's happened on school grounds where there was a witness, we have to report it to keep other students safe. It's not a private matter anymore."
"Mama, please? Please just take me home!" She cried out, not caring about how vulnerable she sounded. Maribel looked at her anxious daughter and saw the pain, stress and worry all over her face. She knew then that she had to put her daughter first.
"Okay Nita, let's go home." Santana whimpered in relief and the tightness that had been in her chest this whole time, began to loosen. The older brunette prepared to leave, holding onto Santana the entire time.
"Mrs Lopez, with all due respect, we need to get the statement to the police as soon as possible, along with a medical exam." Emma didn't want to lay the facts out like this, but she knew she had to. Not just for the police but for the safety and wellbeing of Santana and other students.
"I know Miss Pillsbury, but my priority at this moment in time is making sure my daughter is comfortable, and she's not." She glanced over to younger brunette and saw the dazed expression on her face. Maribel knew her daughter wasn't mentally in the room anymore and was trapped in her own head. "If the police want our statement, they can come and get it for themselves. As for the exam, I'll be taking Santana to the hospital after. I just want to give her this time to calm down and de-stress."
"I understand." The ginger replied. "I'll let them know now."
They uttered their goodbyes and whilst Miss Pillsbury was making a very important phone call, Maribel was taking her daughter home.
When they reached their home, Antonio was there waiting for them. He really meant it when he was taking less hours at work to be there for his daughter. This was the first time in over a year where he had been at home mid-week before Santana came from school.
He knew something wasn't right though. He could sense it before they had even walked through the door. This was the second time in four days that his daughter had come home in a terrible state of anxiety. He was confused on what could have possibly happened for it to have happened twice, but when Maribel told him, he was raging.
He immediately began to give her a quick medical once over, but quickly realised that they needed to go to the hospital so she could have a female doctor take over. The police decided to meet them there and after Santana's exam, they spoke with her doctor's about the evidence they had found, including the DNA that had been left in her mouth from his fingers. They gave her a decent amount of time to recover from her near-traumatizing medical experience, before taking her statement.
She been determined healthy with a bit of minor bruising and scratches, although one of the scratches on her back was quite deep, so the nurses had to stitch it up. When he pushed her into the fence, he did it quite forcefully and there must've been a sharp point that sliced her back.
Her parents were with her the entire time, holding both of her hands as the stitching needle went through her back. Maribel stroked her hair softly as Santana's whimpers were getting louder. Antonio was holding onto her hand tightly and willed himself not to cry along with Santana. She's always hated hospitals, even though her dad is a doctor, and being here right now with her an anxiety at an all time high, wasn't doing her any good.
The police realised this when they took her statement and tried to make the whole process as quick as possible. It was hard though. Santana was really finding it difficult to relay the events of today in front of uniformed officers and her parents. It took longer than it should've, but she managed to tell them all of the details.
The police were confident they had a solid case against him. The DNA they found on Santana paired with Coach Beiste's and her's statement was sure enough to charge him. They said they would be in touch and left the hospital, followed after by the Lopez'.
The rest of the week was spent at home. She'd been excused from school for the week, although she did show up for glee practise. It was something she really enjoyed and if she skipped it, she was only letting him win. Her mother stayed at home with her and helped encourage Santana to eat, soothed her from her panic attacks and gave her lots of love. They snuggled on the couch and watched movies. Susan Pierce even allowed Brittany to play hooky one day and she joined them for Clueless. It was all Santana could've wished for.
All of these happy feelings were about to come to an end and she knew it. School was still there and she still had one more extremely important thing to do.
Come out to her abuela.
It scared her in a weird way. It wasn't the same as Josh or the rest of her school. She knew how old-fashioned she was and that she was deeply stubborn and stuck in her ways. It was hopeless really, to think that it would work out, but Santana still held onto that hope. She hoped that her abuela would see her as the beautiful young woman she is and that she would welcome her with open arms. How foolish.
Telling her abuela hadn't gone well.
She'd been kicked out. Actually kicked out. She couldn't believe that the same woman who helped raise her had kicked her out of the house as if she were trash. Maybe she was trash? Santana's insecurities were starting to kick in.
She picked up her phone and dialled the only person who could help her right now. Brittany. Her gorgeous, kind-hearted, beautiful, pure girlfriend Brittany.
Three words is all it took for Brittany to drive over to Alma Lopez's house. Hearing Santana brokenly whisper "I need you." made her heart break in ways she couldn't express.
She pulled up outside and saw her girlfriend curled into herself, sitting down on the sidewalk.
"San?" She hesitantly called out, whilst opening her door.
Santana's head immediately peeped up. "Britt?"
"Yeah San, I'm here." A fresh wave of tears made they're way down Santana's face. She stood up, running over to the blonde and collapsed into Brittany's awaiting arms. "I'm here, I love you."
"B-Britt, sh-she kicked me o-out." Santana sobbed heavily into the space between Brittany's neck and shoulders.
"Oh baby." She cooed sympathetically, tightening her grasp on the smaller girl. "Let's take you home."
The blonde helped her girlfriend into her car and drove the two of them back to her house. Through her tears, Santana couldn't help but smile. She liked that Brittany referred to her house as home. It made her feel all warm inside with love and adoration.
"A-are your parent's home?" Santana asked through her little sniffles.
"No, they'll be back at ten."
They both went into the house in silence. As soon as Brittany closed the door behind them, Santana threw herself at her girlfriend and brought their lips into a searing kiss. Brittany began to kiss back when she got over the shock of being slammed into a door, however she knew this wasn't right when she felt her girlfriend's warm tears hit her face.
"San baby." She muttered between Santana's passionate kisses. "We need to slow down." She gently pushed Santana away from her, causing the other girl to frown even more.
"What why? Do you not want me either?" Her voice broke, not being able to handle the thought of two people she loves the most rejecting her.
"Of course I want you San. I love you so much, but right now you're hurting." She gently wiped the tears from Santana's cheeks. "I need to help you."
The brown-haired girl lent in again, reconnecting their lips, before pulling away to whisper. "Please, help me then."
Brittany stared into teary chocolate eyes and knew what she had to do. "Are you sure?" She whispered back. Santana gave a reassuring nod and grabbed hold of her girlfriend's hand.
She gently guided Brittany up the stairs and to her bedroom, with timid glances back to her every now and then. They didn't bother to turn on the lights, instead they let the evening sunset take over the room, casting a beautiful glow over both of their faces.
Brittany gently cupped the back of the brunette's head and rested against her forehead. "I love you so much Santana."
"I love you too Brittany." She smiled gently and tilted her head up to connect her lips to the taller girl's.
"Let me show you how much I love you." Brittany purred into her ear, making her knees go weak and shake with want. Brittany's hand reached down to the hem of Santana's t-shirt and pulled it slightly, asking Santana if it was okay. "You're in control here baby." She knew she needed to assure Santana everything was okay because Josh had messed up her trust issues even more.
"It's okay." She nodded with a deep breath and placed her hands over Brittany's, encouraging the blonde to carry on. "I trust you."
That was all Brittany needed to move forward. The next few hours was filled with nothing but love. Gentle caresses, soft kisses and whispered words of affection, caused Santana to see fireworks and feel the warmth of a million tingles rush through her.
Brittany was everything perfect in her life. She knew just what she needed and how to make her feel better. Santana wanted to gift her the same love she had gifted, but Brittany refused. She was adamant that this night was all about Santana, and call her selfish but she enjoyed every single minute of it. It was great to feel loved. Nothing would ever beat it.
For a second she forgot about every bad thing that had happened to her, and for that she was grateful. Only Brittany could make her feel this way. She knew that she would remember, but it was okay because she knew the love Brittany held for her was enough to last a lifetime.
So as she lay there in her her girlfriend's bed, staring at the ceiling, she couldn't help but think about what was to come. Maybe she would never speak to her Abuela again. Maybe she would never forgive Finn. Maybe Josh would get away with sexually assaulting her. But lying here, in the arms of girlfriend, those things didn't matter. She knew she'd be okay, because she had everything she could ever need giving her the biggest hug in the world. It would all be okay.
I hope this was okay for everyone! Let me know what you thought.
I've been working on this for a long time. It's something that has been in my drafts forever that I've never finished, so I decided to.
Sorry about any mistakes :)