Title:  Hermione Malfoy

Author:  scarlet

A/N:  Anything that is not consistent with the books, you'll have to excuse because I have not read them.  Basically everything I know is from fanfic and the movies.  (Mostly fanfic since a lot of time has passed from the end of the movies to the beginning of this story.)  I hope you enjoy it anyway.

If Dumbledore had commanded she attach extra arms and play the role of a squid, Hermione could not have been more shocked.

"I…WHAT?" she asked, trying to clear her head of what she knew must be the figment of a very confused imagination.

"You heard me correctly, Hermione," the old man's voice was soft as he watched her.

She shook her head forcefully.  "No, no I couldn't possibly—  You would never ask me…"

"Hermione," he sighed, "This isn't something I've wanted to ask you.  If there was another way…"

"Sir," she cleared her throat, "I understand the idea of sacrificing myself for the good of the whole, but…wouldn't some sort of painful death be more useful?"

Dumbledore's lips quirked at her question.  "He's not as bad as you think, Hermione." 

"Then YOU marry him!" Hermione snapped unintentionally before covering her mouth in horror.

Chuckling, Dumbledore stood up.  "Think about it, Hermione.  I'll give you few days.  The war is over, but the separation is vast.  In order for peace to last, there needs to be unity.  Where better to start than here at Hogwarts?"

"Sir, I appreciate the situation and there is nothing I'd like better than to see everyone at peace, but couldn't you just ask everyone to be friends?" she swallowed, "Or ask someone else?  Pansy and Neville?" she suggested hopefully.

"I admire your efforts to help out with other suggestions," the old man looked amused.

"Sir, Malfoy and I aren't even old enough-"

"Draco is of age, Hermione and if I recall correctly, your birthday is in a few short weeks."

"But sir…I HATE him.  He feels even more strongly about me, I assure you.  Surely this would only backfire!"

"I would consider it a personal favor to me, Ms. Granger, if you could prevent it from backfiring."

"Sir, this is my whole LIFE.  Even if you wanted me to marry Ron or Harry, I still couldn't make a decision that decision!"

"Hermione, it wouldn't be have to be forever."

"Sir, marriage is forever."

"A peaceful annulment after graduation would be most acceptable considering the circumstances, Hermione."

"So I wouldn't have to-"  Hermione trailed off with a blush.

"Your life would not have to change in the least, except that you would work closely with Draco in an effort to bring wizard and muggle born magic families together.  The death eaters have been destroyed, Hermione, it is our job to make sure the next generation does not recreate them."

Hermione sighed, but then smiled slightly, "Sir, I would be pleased to help you out with this," she crossed her arms, "If Malfoy is in agreement, of course," Hermione almost smirked.

"Excellent, Ms. Granger.  Mr. Malfoy said much the same thing.  Let's discuss dates."

Hermione felt a bit dazed and sick as she walked from Dumbledore's office.  No one was on the school grounds yet, but soon it would be swarming with Hogwarts students, new and old.

"Fancy seeing you here, Granger," a dry voice came from behind her.  "Whatever could you be talking to Dumbledore about?"

"Nothing pleasant," she snapped, her blood boiling immediately as Draco stepped from the shadows.

His eyes danced at her fury, "Now, now, Granger, is that any way to talk to your fiancée?"

"We're not engaged!"

"Oh, you turned Dumbledore down, then?" he lifted an eyebrow.

"I-" Hermione tried to think of a way to say what happened in a way that made her right, but found herself merely glaring at him.

"Hermione Granger agreed to marry Draco Malfoy," he smirked.  "Always knew you wanted me."

"WHAT?!" she sputtered.

"Oh, please, like it wasn't obvious," Draco rolled his eyes, somehow finding a large amount of pleasure in their situation.

Hermione crossed her arms resentfully, "You've given this a lot of thought, Malfoy.  Good to know I'm on your mind so much."

"I had time on my hands, waiting for the verdict," he shrugged.

"You find a way to get out of it?" she asked hopefully.

"Not looking forward to our pending nuptials, my sweet?" he smirked.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "You know I don't want to marry you.  I know you don't want to marry me, so why don't you just shut up and help me think of a way out of it?"

Draco shrugged, "Easy.  Go in there and tell Dumbledore you don't want to."

Clenching her teeth, Hermione shook her head.

"Ahh…don't want to disappoint the grand old wizard?  Thought not."

"Well, why don't YOU do something about it?" Hermione clenched her teeth.

"Be serious," Draco sighed, "After the war, my family is in ruins.  It's up to me to pull my family out of this, I can't just turn down the best idea Dumbledore's had."

"Wait," Hermione frowned, "You think that marrying me is a good idea?"

Draco chuckled, "I know, never would have thought that statement would come out of my mouth…my how times have changed, yes?"

"Draco—" Hermione had a headache.

"Yes, it's a good idea.  Fabulous, actually.  Everyone that used to matter is dead.  My father is in prison.  Voldemort was destroyed.  There's a whole new breed of aristocracy and nothing that mattered before is important."

Hermione shook her head, "You're saying you want to marry me to declare yourself politically correct?"

"Basically," he shrugged, "You have a better idea?"

"Why don't you just save the bloody rainforest and leave me out of it, Malfoy?"  she glared at him.

Draco rolled his eyes.  "You help me, I help you."

"I don't need any help, Malfoy, I'm doing fine."

"Sure you are, Granger.  So how's your dating life?"

Hermione clenched her teeth, "None of your business."

"AKA non-existant.  Why's is that?"

"Kindly sod off, Malfoy."

Draco shook his head, "Such language, my darling mudblood."

"Look, you know I'm not going back on what I said to Dumbledore, so just leave me alone!"

"I'm a good ally to have, Hermione," Draco told her seriously, "Even when we split, no one will mess with my ex-wife.  Ever.  Think about how powerful we could be as a team, Granger.  We'll be Head Boy and Head Girl next year and…definitely the only married couple.  They'll tell more stories about us than Potter next year," he smirked.

In spite of herself, Hermione was intrigued by the picture he painted.

"And don't think men you meet won't wonder what you have that made me fall for you."

"But they'll know it was just—"

Draco shook his head, "No, we can't tell anyone.  It won't work unless it's just between us.  They have to think it's love."

Hermione made a face and Draco laughed.

"We're not gonna shag in public or anything, Granger."

She glared at him, "Really?  And here I thought that was the whole point."

"Kin-ky, Granger," Malfoy smirked, "I'm looking forward to this more than I thought."

Hermione made a face, "Are you an insufferable bastard constantly, Malfoy?"

"No…" his lips turned into a mischievous smile, "I sleep sometimes."

Her lips quirked before she sent him the requisite glare.  "I have to tell Harry and Ron, you know."

Draco shook his head, "No way, that would defeat the whole purpose.  You think Weasel could keep his mouth shut on that subject anyway?"

The fact that he was no doubt right about this only irritated her further.  "So what do I say?  That I love you?" she snorted.

"Oh God," Draco closed his eyes, imagining their reaction to such a statement, "Can I be there for that?"

Hermione glared at him, "NO, you can't be there and I'm NOT telling them that!"

Draco smirked, "There's another possibility, then."

She didn't even want to know what he was thinking in that twisted little mind, but gestured wearily for him to continue.

"You could tell them you're doing it for the sex."

Hermione snorted, "Because you seem like the type that wouldn't give it up before marriage?"

"Nope, you do," he winked.  "Speaking of giving it up-"

"Continue that dream when you're sleeping, Malfoy, I have to eat soon."

Malfoy rolled his eyes, "That's cute, Granger, but I was going to say it is obviously not expected."

"Obviously," Hermione nodded.

"So…I'll continue my extracurricular activities, of course.  You don't date anyway, so that won't be a problem…"

"Whoa," Hermione held up a hand, "What if I meet someone?"

"It would ruin everything if someone caught you cheating on me.  We have to last awhile or it won't work."

Hermione crossed her arms, "Then why do YOU get to cheat on ME?"

"You want me to give up sex for a year?" Draco stared at her in shock, "You have to be insane!"

"It would ruin things just as much if you were caught cheating, especially with the girls here!"

Draco cursed under his breath.

"Sounds like a long year, just you and your hand…doesn't it, Malfoy?" Hermione smirked.

"OK, no one here," he offered, "For either of us."

"Sure, so you can leave and go off whoring…"

"Hey, you can too," he smirked.

Hermione rolled her eyes, "Because I'm SO likely to do that…"

"Hey," Draco shrugged, "Not my problem.  But if you don't like that idea, you could always help me out in that area…"

"Whoring sounds good," Hermione spit out immediately, frowning.

"Interesting word choice."

She didn't bother responding with more than a gesture.

"So…we're in love," Draco smirked, "Anything else you need to add before I die of boredom?"

"Oh, no," Hermione shook her head quickly, "Feel free to drop dead any time you like."

"Well, then, I'll see you at the wedding," he turned away.

"Wait, one more thing," she said softly.

He turned back and raised his eyebrows.

"I'm the one to break it off," she said clearly, "I'm not going to be known as the poor girl Draco Malfoy dumped."

Draco met her eye and nodded, "You won't be."