(Inspired by a post by pocketramblr on tumblr.)

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In the swirling darkness of a unreal landscape, a white haired man cackled as four ghosts watched on with varying levels of worry. Four ghosts, although there were eight present in total. Two of the others were off in a corner pouting, a third wasn't really conscious (or a ghost, but, technicalities) and the fourth was, well, the one laughing.

"You know," said the singular woman ghost, leaning towards the youngest-looking member or the group, "when I first got here, I couldn't see the resemblance, but now..."

The laughter cut off. "Why would you say something so cruel, Nana?" he asked. "I'm just excited for our new bearer. The Ninth."

"You didn't act this way for Eighth."

"Shut up, En."

"You didn't act this way for Nana, either," said an older man.

"Banjo. How could you say that? I was thrilled when we were passed to Nana."

"Not this thrilled..." said the final (extremely tall) ghost. "...you're laughing like..." He paused, thinking. "A witch, maybe? And why are Second and Third like that?" He waved at the pouting ghosts.

"Yeah, you guys can't possibly be that annoyed over li'l Ninth, can you?" asked Nana, loudly. "You can't possibly be that angry that Toshi decided to pass us on, even though All for One's dead."

Second and Third did not respond. The other ghost started to chuckle again.

Nana's brow pinched. "Seriously. Do you guys know something we don't? Second? Third? Yoichi?"

"It'll be better if you find out later," said Yoichi, mysteriously, while Nana muttered better for who. "Now, where were we?"

"Checking Ninth's stats and starting to plug in the stockpile," said En.

"Right you are. Let's just... ooh. Ah."

"Hm," said En.

"Oof," said Banjo.

"I knew I had a bad feeling about this..."

"What is it?" asked Nana. "I don't see anything that would stop the stockpile from enhancing him, or from, well, stockpiling."

"Okay," said Yoichi. "You know how you broke your arm the first time you used the quirk?"

"Yeah? A greenbone stress fracture. Didn't that happen to all of you, too? Everyone but Toshinori?"

"I mean, not to me at first," said Yoichi, "but yeah. Thing is..."

"If Ninth uses it he'll powder his bones."

"Hikage..."

"What? It's true."

"But all the training he and Toshi did..."

"It probably won't powder his bones," said Yoichi, quickly.

"Probably?"

"But it'll break them and badly, if he can't regulate the flow, and he doesn't have that thing that'll let him do it right off, like Eighth. We'd have to ramp it up slowly, so his body gets used to it and starts to develop countermeasures, like we did for you."

"And you still broke bones," added En.

"And he's about to take the practical exam in, what, a few hours?" Nana drew her hand down her face. "Dammit, Toshi, you couldn't have given it to him last week?"

"Would a week really have made a difference?"

"Not helping, En."

The ghosts stared blankly at nothing.

"So... either he takes the exam quirkless and probably fails, or we give him enough power to use, and he possibly cripples himself?" Banjo slumped down in a chair that hadn't been there a second ago. "That sucks."

Nana frowned at the quirk, trying to see what the others were seeing.

"What if," she said, slowly, "we didn't give him the stockpile?"

"That is what we're discussing," said Yoichi.

"No, I mean... We have more quirks than just the stockpile. Look." She pointed in a way that was more metaphysical than anything else.

"What the hell," said Banjo, jumping from his chair. "Are those-?"

"Our quirks?" asked En, edging closer for a better look.

"Those were not there before."

"Looks like One for All hit singularity," said Yoichi, quickly, in a way that wasn't suspicious at all.

"Are you sure-" started Hikage.

"After all, there's nothing else it could possibly be."

"We can't give him too many," said Nana, slowly, remembering some of All for One's victims, "but two should be fine. One of ours now, and the stockpile later. He and Toshi will probably just assume it's Ninth's original quirk, that just showed up late."

"Wait," said Banjo, with dawning delight. "Does this mean I can give the kid Blackwhip?" He started forward, only to be physically restrained by the others.

"NO!" they shouted in unified alarm.

"Don't you feel how much repressed rage Ninth has?" demanded Yoichi.

"That's why it'll be so good!"

"It's like you want to kill him!"

Nana clapped her hands. "Okay, people, we have until the end of the written exam to figure out which of our quirks is most likely to help Ninth pass without permanently scaring and possibly killing him."

"Blackwhip's out," said En, contemplatively, "sorry, Banjo."

"No, no, you guys are right," said Banjo waving it off.

"That leaves Float, Smokescreen, Danger Sense, Fa Jin, and-"

"Don't you dare give him our quirks!" shouted Third while Second glared silently.

"What is your problem?" snapped Nana at the once again unresponsive ghosts.

"We have Float, Smokescreen, and Danger Sense."

"Hm," said Hikage.

"It would be easier if we knew what the practical was," said Yoichi. "But we don't know how long this will take..."

"I passed with Float," said Nana, "but I also knew I had it and how to use it." Flying-type quirks often took an extra layer of training just to get the right mindset.

"Yeah, the kid thinking he'll have superstrength and focusing on trying to activate it might be a hurdle, here," agreed Banjo. "At least Blackwhip is pretty reflexive."

"En?"

"Much like Banjo, I would love to pass on my quirk, but..." He sighed. "I am well aware of my quirk's drawbacks. It might give him more trouble than help to find himself with it without warning."

"Super anxiety."

"Come on," said Nana. "Between the five of us, we've got to be able to find a way for a kid with a heart of gold, abs of steel, and nerves of... uh, anxiety to pass a test."

"Anxiety?" said Hikage. "I have anxiety-"

"Don't say it," warned Banjo.

Banjo launched himself at Hikage, who dodged easily, and they started to tussle.

"Actually..." said Nana. "Hikage, I think you have a point."

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Izuku had been nervous all day. All week, really. Who wouldn't be? This was only the most important test he had ever taken in his entire life.

If he passed, his dreams would be in reach. If he failed...

Visions of All Might's disappointed face danced in his mind's eye. He'd been catastrophizing all day. What if he couldn't use One for All? What if he was kicked out for being quirkless? What if he tripped and fell and broke both his arms and had to go to the hospital and missed the exams?

(Thank goodness for that nice girl who caught him with the floating quirk. It was so cool! She was so cool! Izuku was so lame.)

But that didn't explain why he was mentally calculating the likelihood of things like the roof collapsing or the light fixtures falling on him or the doors crushing his fingers or...

He needed to stop.

He wound through the crowd on the way to the auditorium, hyperaware of possible collisions and the possible results thereof. If he got hurt before the practical...

What would they even have to do for the practical? He'd done research online, but the information he found was conflicting- enough for Izuku to suspect a misinformation campaign on UA's part. Maybe there'd be robots, or they'd fight teachers, or they'd fight each other, or there would be a race, an obstacle course, a maze. One particular post had claimed that they'd had to stand in front of a panel of heroes and demonstrate their quirk and its potential effectiveness in different fields of heroism.

For obvious reasons, Izuku hoped the last one was false.

He finally reached the auditorium that the practical orientation was going to take place in, and slid into his assigned seat, only to be hit with a wave of fear and a sense of danger so intense it made him nauseous.

Kacchan sat down next to him.

Ah.

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"Maybe we shouldn't have given him a quirk that makes anxiety worse."

"Yeah..."

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Izuku's nerves were so bad he could hardly read the handout in front of him. At least, he was able to absorb that the exam would involve fighting robots. Which. Was terrifying. But somehow not as terrifying as a hypothetical panel of judges.

Present Mic's exuberant arrival and continued presence made Izuku feel a little safer, enough to let his thoughts linger on something that wasn't Kacchan right there, because surely even Kacchan wouldn't do anything to him with a pro hero right there.

Of course, Izuku's relative relaxation meant he was called out in front of literally everyone for mumbling, and he spent the rest of the time between then and arriving at the test stewing in mortification. And sweat. He could admit to himself there was a lot of sweat involved.

After practically jittering off the bus, dread buzzing in his ears like a swarm of flies, Izuku decided he needed to find some way to distract himself from his nerves while waiting for the test to start. Eavesdropping, quirk analysis, Interestingly shaped gravel- anything would do!

Oh! It was the girl from earlier! He could tha-

He narrowly dodged a large hand and twisted to see the scary boy from earlier, the one who had called him out in the auditorium. The boy blinked once, with faint surprise, then launched into a lecture about not distracting others.

Some distraction.

Static seemed to build under his skin, urging him to get ready get ready get ready. The sensation swirled with that of mocking eyes drilling in to him. The faux city loomed menacingly.

"AND... BEGIN!"

With all the pressure on and behind him,, Izuku shot off like a cork. He was soon out paced by students with mobility quirks, and shortly after that realized he had no idea what he was doing.

He rolled out of the way of a one-pointer that broke through a nearby wall- how to fall properly and how not to break his hands with every punch were the only combat techniques All Might had time to teach him- and, despite a spike of trepidation, brought up his fist.

"Smash!" he shouted, plowing his fist into the side of the robot and breaking his hand. Like an idiot.

All Might's quirk use instructions sure left something to be desired.

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En patted Yoichi and Nana on the shoulders consolingly. "I think it's just sprained."

Yoichi covered his eyes. "I can't watch."

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The next second saw the robot destroyed by a laser blast from another examinee who made what was honestly a rather hurtful comment about Izuku not passing. Which, fine, his prospects didn't look all that great right now, did they? Still...

From then on- well, apparently adecade of getting bullied kicked in, because he was dodging robots like a pro, but that didn't matter because dodging did not give him points.

He yanked another boy out of the way of a two-pointer's scorpion tail, levered a piece of rubble off a girl's arm, experimented with throwing rocks at a three-pointer to distract it from a crying mouse-eared child, and then ran from said three-pointer for what felt like miles but realistically couldn't have been, interrupting several fights, un-cornering two separate groups of students, and briefly riding a two-pointer like a cowboy.

He still hadn't destroyed any robots. Unless he could get points for tag-teaming that last two pointer. Personally, he doubted it, considering the other anti-cooperation rules, but he wished he'd been brave enough to ask.

More troubling were all the friendly fire close shaves. He knew no one was actually trying to hit other people, that would get them disqualified, but it sure didn't seem that way. On his mad flight from the three-pointer alone he must have warned, pushed, or pulled half a dozen people out of the way of their own or others' quirks, a fact that frightened him far more than the robots. Thankfully, only one had actually hit Izuku, and it was a relatively non-harmful sticky... ball... thing...

(The less said about his encounter with the invisible girl the better. Izuku wasn't even sure how he knew she was there.)

Then the ground started to shake. An earthquake? Now?

... for some reason it didn't freak him out any more than he already was. Even when the absolutely enormous robot emerged from behind a skyscraper.

He... he should be running, now, shouldn't he? And try to get some points so that All Might wasn't completely disappointed in him.

A spike in anxiety and a horrible but commiserate spike in what was shaping up to be a nasty headache made him turn around just in time to see the nice girl put her foot down in a crack in the road, fall, and then get partially pinned by rubble. All with the giant robot bearing down on her.

"Owwww," she said, just audible over the noise of all the other examinees fleeing and the destruction caused by the robots.

Izuku changed directions.

On reaching the girl, he put his whole weight up against the boulder and shoved, revealing the girl's rapidly bruising leg.

"Can you-"

She shook her head. "I'm stuck!"

Izuku grabbed the end of her shoelace and pulled. "Leave your shoe!"

This did the trick. The girl was up and running- or at least stumbling, away. Izuku made to follow her, but abruptly realized he was stuck to the boulder by those stupid purple sticky balls.

Izuku could not, in fact, lift the entire boulder. He had one recourse. Clench his butt and hope One for All deigned to work for him this time.

Before he could attempt to break his hand even more, however, a hand slapped the boulder, imbuing it with enough buoyancy to float above the ground.

"Come on!" shouted the girl, pulling him along.

"Your quirk is really cool!" shouted Izuku, back.

They managed, barely, to stay ahead of the zero-pointer until Present Mic called time and they both collapsed on the ground.

"Well," said Izuku, after the girl 'released' the boulder from her quirk. "I'm not going anywhere."

The girl nodded, then turned to vomit.

"Oh my gosh! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she said, weakly. "Quirk overuse. I'm fine."

"Thanks for coming back, by the way," said Izuku.

"You too," she said. "I'm Uraraka Ochako."

"Midoriya Izuku. It's, uh, it's nice to meet you."

"Y-yeah," said Uraraka. "How, uh, how do you think you did? I got twenty-eight points, I think..."

"I, uh..." Izuku wilted as much as the sticky balls would let him. "Didn't get any."

"Oh," said Uraraka. "But, um! You saved me! That has to count for something!"

"I guess," said Izuku. "You know, you don't have to stay here, I know I'm a downer... and kind of annoying..."

"Oh, um, well, I don't think so! And I'd stay anyway, but I think I messed up my foot..."

"Sorry..."

"Don't be! It wasn't your fault."

They were too tired to say much else until some teachers came to help Izuku get free.

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The air in the mindscape was subdued.

"All of that," said Nana, "and he still broke bones and didn't get any points... and we exacerbated his mental illness... what kind of heroes are we?"

"I still think it was just a sprain," opined En, again.

"UA has stupid tests," said Yoichi, lying on the ground and hugging a pillow. "Izuku showed he has the soul of a true hero! Making a heroics test all about combat is stupid. Stupid UA. Stupid tests." He fell to muttering.

"Wow," said Nana, "there are some pretty nasty threats in there. Also, why are you calling Ninth Izuku? I thought the policy was numbers only until we meet for real."

Yoichi rolled over.

"Eighth looks happy," said Hikage.

The five ghosts turned to the last, silent, not-quite-a-ghost. He did, indeed, look happy.

"Hey," said Nana, approaching and grabbing on to the sides of 'Eighth's' face. "What do you have to be happy about? What's going on in that fluffy yellow head of yours?"

"Maybe he bribed the principal into letting Ninth in anyway?" suggested Banjo. "Or not," he said, raising his hands in surrender as the others glared at him. "But, man, I wish there was some way to cheer the kid up."

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"I got in?" whispered Izuku without comprehension as he stared at the projected screen. Fat tears wobbled down the side if his face. Then the screen changed to a leader board, and- "I GOT THE HIGHEST SCORE?"

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"Man, Eighth, bribery has limits-"

"Toshinori didn't bribe anyone-"