"Meilin's Desperation"

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS, CLAMP does.

Sighing, she threw her backpack on the kitchen table and sat down. She put her elbows on the table and her face on her palm, looking around then stopped at the knife drawer which was slightly open. She stared at it and until she got up and walked over to close it but she opened it wider. The knives were gleaming in the sunlight emitted from the window. For a moment, she could have sworn she saw something red on the smallest knife but then decided it was her imagination. When she picked it up, it was clean and shimmering. There was nothing on it. She turned it around just in case she missed something. The sterling steel held a reflection of her. She put her hand on her cheek and studied the image before her. 'This is probably why we're not together. It's because I'm ugly!',she thought as she threw the knife in the sink. She leaned against the counter and slid down to the floor, her legs to her chest, face down and hands clutching her hair. Tears formed in her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

'Damn it! Why am I this way!' There she sat sobbing miserably for about 15 minutes when she thought of an idea. A desperate attempt to escape all of this. She stood up, wiped all the tears from her eyes, reached into the sink and took the knife by the handle. Then she ran up to her room and locked the door.

In Meilin's room, she held the knife in her right hand, holding it in a striking position above her left arm. Even though she wants to end this unbearable pain, she hesitated and thought about it thoroughly. 'If I do this, then I'll never have to face pain like this again. But...I'm scared to do this.' The thought of everybody she knew who has somebody at their side lessened her fears. In one quick motion, the knife embedded into her skin, a thin line appeared followed by deep red blood revealing the thin line more clearly. She winced but continued to slash her skin. Blood soon dripped down from her legs all the way to the beige carpet. The knife landed on the floor with a dull thud. She grasped her mutilated left arm and squeezed it tighter, watching the blood being forced of her flesh. Then with another dull thud, her body landed on the carpet. The blood from her body absorbed into the carpet, making the space under her full of deep red liquid.

A/N: God, I think this is really bad, what do you think? This is a one-shot so please don't ask me to continue.