Surprise!

#

Harry Potter, the boy who lounged, slumped in his favourite Hufflepuff common room chair, feet propped up on an enchanted coffee table that massaged his soles and toes. It was surprisingly relaxing, and a bit of a shock to people who unsuspectingly used it as a temporary chair. That seemed to be happening a lot more often than Harry thought was normal and he was starting to have some disturbing but intriguing suspicions, especially as two previous versions of the table disappeared completely.

The final exams were looming, but Harry felt little true urgency, despite his nerves spiking every now, inspiring random fantasies of doom.

He was trying to discover the perfect balance between effort and relaxation that he thought he had mastered long ago but was not doing too well at it right now. At least he hadn't fallen to the idiocy of panic and undertaken any of the seriously suspicious advice later years had 'helpfully' passed on to some of his year mates.

Harry gave serious consideration to getting in on the action, especially with some of the more obnoxious students, but ultimately stuck with his belief that ripping someone off or purposely antagonising them was more work than it was worth (unless it was Greasy of course).Instead, he supplied a few simplified copies of his version of the Black family game (expansions available for a small charge, of course; many, many expansions), and sold copies of a Magical cocktail recipe supplied it as an alternative to the standard potions manual and Harry found it helped people like him who really didn't like making stupid and dangerous potions to practice many of the techniques and skills used in 'normal' potion making.

Nev still managed to make something out of it explode somehow, but at least everyone caught in the explosion got nicely sozzled, which happened to be about half the students cramming for exams in the Gryfindor common room. Turned out to be quite the party apparently, and the Weasley twins were interested in selling it in their future store.

Around him, the Hufflepuff common room fairly hummed with a suppressed atmosphere of anxiety and fear. It was frankly ridiculous and disturbing that school could elicit such heights of emotion, especially at this juncture where not a whole lot was really at stake. Everybody was feeling like these tests were so super important, that their value as human beings were on trial and their whole future revolved around the next few days.

Ridiculous.

It was important, sure, for a number of reasons, not the least of which was as a potential 'get out of school early' card, but it's not like there were no other ways to make up for a poor result now, although that could involve a lot of hard work, which was actually a bit scary to Harry.

Still, he had a few days to revise the bits he was weak on, like almost everything to do with anything because his brain had suddenly decided to forget everything he had learned in the last five years.

Harry abandoned all pretence of studying and closed his eyes to concentrate on taking a nap. It would do nobody any good if he let himself get run down in the lead up to the exams and he wasn't doing anything good right now.

Tomorrow would sort itself out, he was sure, and if it didn't, well he would deal with it tomorrow.

#

The exams began with Transfiguration.

The written portion went about as well as could be expected, which is to say, rather pitifully.

The often strange and outright bizarre questions, that at first glance did not appear to be related to anything they had ever studied, were thankfully outnumbered by ones requiring incredibly mind numbingly boring regurgitation of rote learned statements, which unfortunately were the currently the hardest things for Harry to remember easily despite how previous ease with those sorts of things. He could discuss what steps he would take to transfigure something from one thing into another via several other changes, and why, but the underlying theory was so obscure he just made-up justifications based on many of the unusual facts he had accidentally learned via his sleep-reading. His answers sounded like something a knowledgeable academic of wizardry might say, but were most likely absolute bunk.

He really hoped there wasn't any difference.

The shared sense of relief mixed with doom as the classroom emptied after three hours of gruelling paperwork was thick enough to be palatable. Despair clung to the hallways suppressing any youthful exuberance surviving such an ordeal would normally invoke only to be balanced out with almost hysterical bouts of humour.

"How'd you go, Slick?" Harry asked amiably as he found himself exiting the room alongside the often arrogant but-not-as-annoying-as-he-could-be boy.

"Well enough, of course," replied Malfoy with uncharacteristic humbleness. "Not that any of this rot really matters," he added almost bitterly.

"You never know," said Harry. "Some obscure bit of magic might one day be very important, like using a gasping curse on someone because they have forgotten how to breathe."

Draco shook his head in amused disbelief. "You say the strangest things sometimes, Potter. I swear being brought up by Muggles has destroyed any chance you had of being a proper wizard."

"Don't laugh, I plan on putting that in the Defence exam if they ask for an example of using a curse in a beneficial way," answered Harry half-jokingly.

It was an immense worry that several Ravenclaws immediately pulled out notepads and started scribbling notes hurriedly.

#

Harry casually made his way through the exam waiting room, looking every bit the relaxed and confident student he was meant to be, even though some rebellious part of his brain was urging him to smash the window and leap to his probably death as it was bound to be less painful and stressful than what he was about to face.

"Mr. Potter, what do you think you are doing?" asked a slightly irate and possibly amused Professor McGonagall as Harry approached the exam table, where an ancient mummy-looking woman the others were calling Griselda Marchbanks was waiting.

While Harry didn't accept the rumour she was a Lich or Inferi masquerading as an examiner to secretly test student's Defence Against the Dark Arts knowledge, he couldn't help but find her extraordinary age and withered appearance a negative thing.

Nobody that old could seriously still have an important role to play in the future of so many young people, could they? Could she even relate to modern society? Then again, his experience in Muggle school before Hogwarts showed that often the people in charge had no clue, so why would the wizarding world be any different?

"I am here for my Transfiguration Exam, Professor," Harry replied respectfully.

"I am referring to the fact you have changed your chair into something resembling half of a chicken, as you well know," added Kitty sternly while looking pointedly at the legs of Harry's chair which were indeed currently very chicken-like.

"Sorry, my nerves sort of got the best of me while I was waiting and I was practicing my inanimate object to animal transfigurations but attempting a half transition using the Worple Method," he answered. "It was such a success I thought it would be a huge waste to just undo it without letting it fulfil its destiny."

"Its destiny being to bring you to the table, I assume?" she remarked dryly.

"And beyond," agreed Harry, not all deterred by the professor's words.

Whatever Kitty was about to say was suddenly cut off as his chair gave out a pained sounding squark, and something dropped out of it on to the floor behind him.

The stunned, and in one case embarrassed, silence was broken a moment later by none other than Griselda.

"Boy, did that chair just lay an egg?" she asked.

Harry was internally debating his range of answers but didn't get a chance to reply before she continued.

"Extraordinary! Now that's what I am talking about - Just like Dumbledore," she exclaimed happily.

Harry had no idea what she meant, but she was smiling, so that was a good start, right?

#

The fact Harry was able to brew an almost perfect Draught of Living Death came as a bit of a surprise to him and Greasy both. Well, disgust more than surprise, for both of them.

Snape refusing to allow Harry to use anything except the standard potion equipment wasn't a surprise, but Harry performing everything correctly and getting a decent mark was never going to be allowed, so when he accidentally added a bit too much Asphodel root, he figured he had no choice but to go all in, rather than fix his mistake.

Of course, Greasy leapt at the chance to heavily criticise Harry's potion once it was finished, although his caustic comments were unusually mild compared to his normal level of abuse and was willing to put it down to the professor's high level of enjoyment at seeing so many students suffering more than usual, or possibly the presence of other people in the room who might have the power to call him out on his customary behaviour.

Snape swooped in, his robes billowing dramatically. "Potter," he sneered, "your ego and arrogance have once again proven to be far too large for your tiny brain. This is supposed to be the Draught of Living Death, not some childish attempt at impressing your friends with a novelty drink. Clearly, you think you're clever, but all you've proven is your staggering incompetence."

Harry, maintaining his composure, replied, "Actually, Professor, I brewed the Draught of Living Death as per the exam instructions, which I am pretty sure you already know since you have been staring at me non-stop the entire time. Although, I could be mistaken regarding your level of knowledge and expertise, of course, since you have told everyone many times over the years that I am 'totally wrong about everything all of the time.' However, the instructions didn't specify that it had to remain the Draught of Living Death, just that we had to brew one. So, I brewed it perfectly, and then I just... improved it."

Snape's eyes narrowed. "Improved it, Potter? Turning a potentially dangerous potion into an alcoholic beverage is your idea of improvement? Your foolishness astounds me."

Hell, the only reason Harry even showed up to the exam was to annoy the git one last time. It just happened the potion was one Harry was very familiar with, thanks to Sirius' gift, giving him the opportunity to 'stir the cauldron'.

Harry had considered bribing Peeves to do something to all the potions before the professor had a chance to mark them, but he suspected Snape had already decided everyone's grade and the actual practical exam itself was a complete waste of time.

There was still a slim chance he would pass, based on the theoretical portion of the exam, but he didn't consider it any great loss if he didn't. Smiley told him getting a good grade would boost sales of their range of custom potion making tools, but he could always get certified outside of school if they really needed him to.

"You say that now, but I bet you'll change your tone when you are 'testing it for quality' in the back room later tonight after several hours of marking our exams. It's delicious!" said Harry happily.

#

"Harry, I think Hagrid might be planning on doing something extremely unwise," said Hermione after the Care of Magical Creatures exam concluded.

It had been surprisingly tame, with only one gruesome accident involving a Niffler and some gold Jewlery that the student in question really should have known to remove after the last incident with treasure hunting creatures. It didn't matter that you couldn't see where she had it, Nifflers were going to go for gold anytime they sensed it, and they were not polite about tearing it out even if it was still attached to sensitive and easily damaged flesh.

"What makes you say that?" asked Harry reluctantly. He knew he shouldn't encourage her to begin some sort of crusade or quest, but he was really trying to be a bit more sociable to the people who had treated him well during his time at the magical school, while he still had a chance to. He felt they deserved it, and he could make a bit of an effort for those people.

"Did you notice the questions in the exam were a bit, er, focused?" she asked.

"You mean about dragons? Well, he has always been a bit mad about them, hasn't he. I mean he had that egg all those years ago, er I mean-"

"Yes, Ron told me all about your escapade involving the secret dragon," said Hermione.

"He told everyone," added Sue.

"Multiple times," said Han.

"With varying degrees of exaggeration," added Ron.

Everyone turned to look at Ron.

"What? It was a great story," said Ron proudly.

"Anyway, yes, there were a few questions about dragons, so what?" asked Harry returning to the topic at hand.

"A few? At least half of the exam was about Dragons, Norwegian Ridgebacks specifically," said Hermione.

"Like Norb, his little pet," said Harry. "That's understandable, kind of? It is his favourite thing in the world. What are you thinking?"

"I think Hagrid is planning on getting his pet Dragon back," said Hermione.

"Don't you think you might be jumping to conclusions a bit there Hermione?" asked Ron. "It was just a few questions in an exam about the care of magical creatures, and like Harry said, he probably knows a lot about Norwegian Ridgebacks on account of his close ties to one of them."

"The subject of the easy topic was 'Explain how you could subdue and transport an adult, female, Norwegian Ridgeback then keep it hidden, happy, and comfortable in the Forbidden Forest of Hogwarts."

"Yeah, I guess that could be considered kind of, be a bit, er-"

"Specific?"

"-Yeah, specific. So, you er, think he might be trying to figure out a way to, you know-"

"Kidnap Norbert from the sanctuary and keep him as a pet at Hogwarts? Yes, yes, I think that might something Hagrid is seriously considering," she said.

"Surely he can't be that obvious about it," said Sue. "The first place anybody is going to look for his missing pet is going to be right here and putting that in the exam is a bit of a dead give-away."

"Hagrid is the gentlest and kindest being I have ever met," said Hermione, "but subtle is just not in his vocabulary, and neither is taking into account the possibly catastrophic long-term effects and consequences of his heartfelt actions."

"You have a point," admitted Harry. "But what do you want to do about it and why are you involving me?"

"Because you somehow managed to convince him to give up Norbert to begin with, and if anybody can talk him out of following through on some harebrained scheme, it is you, or Professor Dumbledore I suppose, but he seems to be busy doing something this year and has barely been around at all."

On a rather windswept beach in a turbulent bay, the ancient wizard fought against the elements to avoid tumbling into the turf beneath him.

Luckily his sticking charm was working, and he was in no danger of just falling off.

The search to find this spot had taken much of his free time this year, realising it was once a popular spot for Muggle school children had narrowed the search down quite a bit.

A sudden gust took him by surprise, almost causing him to topple over, but he managed to keep his balance.

"Whoo-hoo," he whooped as his rented Windsurfer tore along the waves at exhilarating speeds.

He hadn't quite forgotten why he had come all the way out here, but seeing the Muggles and their wonderful toys had distracted him.

He probably should have been doing something more productive, like teaching Harry Potter Occlumency to protect his mind from any remanent of Voldemort's old guard who might try to do him harm, but who in their right mind wanted to delve into the fantasies and daydreams of a teenage boy.

Well, Severus would do it, he realised.

Although the man already had an unhealthy obsession with the boy, so it might not be the best idea.

Well, he could have a talk to Harry and get him started once he got back to the castle, after he had further mastered this wonderful activity.

It's not like the cave was going anywhere anytime soon, so he could wait for better conditions to go looking in it.

"Hasn't he?" asked Harry. "Hadn't noticed. Anyway, aside from making me feel guilty about making him give up his lifelong dream, I still don't see why you are telling me. Hagrid is much more likely to listen you, the renowned voice of reason of our year group and possibly all of Hogwarts."

"You did convince him not to have us raise a new batch of Blast-ended Skrewts," added Sue.

"And to not force everyone to try and touch the unicorn and its foal," added Han. "That could have gone really badly."

"But harry already has a history with Norbert," said Hermione.

"So do I," said Ron. "I helped to get him out of Hogwarts you know!"

"You can help Harry too then," insisted Hermione, not missing a beat. "Both of you need to convince Hagrid not to attempt to get his pet dragon back, and especially not using any of our essays as ideas on how to do it."

Harry was thoughtfully quiet for a moment.

"You know, I wasn't too precise with my essay. I mean I wrote some of the standard things we all learned about Dragons, and about the things you might find in the Forbidden Forest, but nothing that could really become a plan," he said. "How about you guys?"

A general mutter of agreement as to the varied answers

"I wrote I'd get my brother Charlie to do it," said Ron. "'Course he only would because he is my brother, and even then, it would be a bit of a stretch to think it would work."

"That's doesn't really matter, does it," asked Hermione, starting to get more animated. "He might see something and take it into his head that it is a great idea and then follow it and get into a whole lot of trouble!"

Everyone stopped and stared at Hermione.

"You gave him a plan, didn't you? I mean a real 'this might actually work' plan, right?"

Hermione broke down in a slight panic.

"What am I going to do if he follows my plan gets caught? They are bound to trace it back to me and then I will be in trouble and probably charged with masterminding the crime!"

"Why did you do it? What could possibly make you create a real answer to a question you realised might not really be a theoretical question at all?" asked an astounded Sue.

"I couldn't help myself," explained Hermione. "I just saw the problem and after initially disregarding it, started thinking about how it could be done and before I knew it I had detailed a 49-point plan that is going to get me sent to Azkaban unless you go and convince Hagrid not to even try."

Harry laughed.

"Don't laugh!" she yelled. "This is serious!"

"Okay, okay, I will go and talk to him. I'll convince him not to try, although I must see what you came up with."

"No!"

"Oh yes, this going to be a core memory that I will enjoy reminding you of for a hundred years."

"Maybe it would be better to go to Azkaban?" suggested Sue quietly.

#

Unexpectedly, Charms turned out to be Harry's least favourite exam.

While his expertise in the one area of magic Harry truly excelled at was on display in the practical portion of the exam, the written portion, that was always going to be a drag almost turned into a total fiasco.

Harry didn't really see when the problem started, as he was busy trying to dredge up obscure and pointless facts about the creators of obscure Charms that nobody in their right mind had any possible use for, but a disturbance in the back quickly escalated to the point of getting the whole room's attention.

"Mr Thomas, what are you doing to your quill?"

"Nothing," said Dean, apparently struggling to hold onto his quill while it fluttered around madly attempting to escape his grip. "It's just gone crazy."

Harry sighed and shook his had been asked if it was possible to sneak one of his quills into the exam, and Hermione had warned them the anti-cheating spells were quite comprehensive and complex, but some people 'just can't be told'.

Professor Flitwick swished his wand deftly a few times, freeing the quill from Dean's struggles, and summoning it over to himself.

"Mr Potter, is this one of your devices?" asked the diminutive charm professor sternly after looking at the quill for a minute as Dean spluttered some excuse about accidentally bringing in the wrong quill.

"It would appear so," Harry replied, once the professor walked over and presented it to him.

"And what do you think has happened to it?" asked the Professor pointedly, knowing Harry was very familiar with them, since he had been instrumental in their development.

Harry squirmed uncomfortably. He didn't really know Dino, or Dean or whatever his name was, but he instinctively didn't want to get him into , more trouble.

He suspected someone had 'pre-loaded' a lot of stuff from their textbooks into the quill to get it to write the correct answer out, and something had gone wrong, possibly due to the anti-cheating spells Hermione and Sue talked about, but Dean was insisting he brought that quill in mistakenly and it normally just spell corrected as he wrote.

"I think it has gone rogue and is attempting to practice self-expression," Harry stated with as much certainty and authority as he could muster.

Flitwick did not look convinced, or impressed.

#

"So, did you speak to Hagrid?" asked Sue after Harry returned from visiting Hagrid.

Harry had a bit of a shell-shocked look on his face.

"She is terrifyingly brilliant," he said. "I mean that plan, it was pure genius. Ron couldn't stop talking about how great it would work. I mean, he was right, but it really sucked him in. Me too, I guess. Just genius. Pure, unadulterated, genius."

"But you talked Hagrid out of it, right?" ask Sue, starting to get a worried feeling about the whole thing. "You didn't agree to help or anything crazy like that, right? Right?"

"What? Oh yeah, it was easy to talk Hagrid out of it, since a lot of the magic she said to use was way too complicated for Hagrid, or any of us, to pull off. Out of our reach for many years, unfortunately."

"Thank Merlin for that," said Sue with a sigh of relief.

"I mean, you would have to be a bit crazy to even try, though it would, as Ron said, be glorious," said Harry, with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"Yes, I can imagine the effort would be way too much for you then, Harry," laughed Sue.

"Yeah, way too much work for me, so I sent it to Sirius…"

#

Defence Against the Dark Arts was where Harry and his Hufflepuff crew truly shone, despite Froggy now insisting that the best defence was to "love your enemy".

Harry's version of the Black family game simulated real-life combat situations closely enough to give even the worst of his year mates some idea on how to answer most of the the game's simplified rules version granted an extraordinary depth of understanding, and Ern's impeccable strategy was sure to amaze the testers, hopefully leaving them thoroughly impressed, or so he claimed afterwards.

Harry wasn't sure since he expected using Fiendfire was probably outlawed.

The practical portion went even better. The games of 'Dodgespell' his practice sessions had evolved into really came into their own. Based on Dudley's favourite game of throwing things at people to hurt them, but substituting some common defence spells and adding in random environmental hazards, such as the odd Bowtruckle, the game gave them all practice casting spells while under pressure. This served them well when it came time to the practical portion of the exam. Despite his best efforts, nobody was willing to let Harry really push the limits of the Room of Requirement, so no Dragon fighting, unfortunately.

Being able to cast a corporeal Patronus would probably gain him some extra points, but it wasn't looking like it was going to come up in the exam at all, which wasn't really unexpected as it was well beyond what was normally taught at their year level.

Time for Plan-B.

"Is that a Dementor? Expecto Patronum," Harry suddenly shouted, pointing at random location in the hall.

At his pre-arranged signal, several other students immediately cried out the same incantation, and soon the room was swarming with corporeal patronuses running around madly.

His patronus casually walked around for a while before stopping and apologising quietly to the people nearby in Harry's voice.

"Sorry, my mistake," it said before, turning and strolling back over to Harry, where it then stood quietly trying to look all majestic and stuff.

The look the examiner gave him was not as impressed as Harry had been hoping for,

#

Muggle studies was a mess.

"This is wrong," he muttered, scribbling furiously. "And this… and definitely this."

"Mr. Potter, talking during the exam is strictly forbidden," said Professor Cabbage sternly.

Well, her name wasn't actually Cabbage, but Harry knew that was pretty close to her real name and much easier to remember.

"But these are all wrong!" exclaimed Harry.

"Your mistakes are your own problem, and you should not be disturbing the other students!" she said, raising her voice.

"Not my answers," Harry replied, still scribbling at the paper. "It's the questions! I don't know who you got to edit the exam, but they have made a complete balls-up of it, unless you think Muggles use their legs to shoot fire?"

A chorus of other voices joined Harry in declaring the exam unfit to sit as the other students, who had all achieved a significant although skewed understanding of the Muggle word after watching so many movies as part of their course, raised their voices in support.

It still amazed Harry that more Muggleborn had not taken Muggle Studies for the "Easy A" it now represented after the revisions over the course over the last few years.

Eventually the situation was brought under control with Cabbage agreeing to have the questions changed to what they were meant to be before some mis-informed but likely well-meaning quill-pusher in the Ministry had 'fixed them'.

Harry purposely did not correct a few of the multiple choice questions though.

Question: "What is the function of a telephone booth."

Time travel

Crime-fighter's change room

Entrance to underground secret government facilities

All of the above

Technically it had been used as each of the above in movies, and it was just too funny to take out.

#

By the end of the week filled with exams, Harry felt a peculiar sense of accomplishment, which was really weird and slightly disturbing since his year had involved a lot more effort than he had ever put into anything before.

"I cannot believe you sat the Ancient Runes exam, complained Hermione. "You literally never attended a single class and never studied it at all, except for that book on obscure ancient graffiti you had covering your face when you were sleeping a few months ago!"

"Yeah, that was a waste of time, but then again, had nothing else to do and nothing to lose," he answered. "It will be really interesting to see what they make of those tags from the graffiti I used; the pretty ones that is, not the ones that look like giant di-"

"Yes I know the ones you are talking about" interrupted Hermione." Still, it was a bit silly as you have absolutely no chance of passing even with your imaginative intrpretation of the equivalent of 'Kilroy was here'."

"Same with Arithmancy I guess, although I am surprised how much of that I was able to answer. Who knew it had so much cross-over with Diviniation and a bunch of maths formulas?"

"It most certainly does not have any cross-over at all!" Hermione said defensively. "Any resemblance to that junk is purely coincidental or your imagination. Besides, it's not like you actually studied Divination enough to recognise it!"

Her dislike of the subject, and its teacher, were well known, so Harry wisely decided to let that one go.

"My custom Ouija board was quite popular with the examiners," he said. "One of them said he had never seen anything that extraordinary in an O.W.L. exam before in his life."

"Could be because it caught fire when you asked it to answer the questions for you," suggested J. "Or the fact you replaced the letters with symbols you found in a supposedly 'random' book from the library that turned out to be a nymph summoning ritual."

"Yes, I don't think that statement was meant to be taken in a positive way, Harry," agreed Sue, ignoring the mention of the very controversial book Harry had been studying way too much before suspicion caused them to investigate what had caught his attention so thoroughly for several days.

"You're all just jealous," said Harry, unconvincingly. "My prophecy that the world would soon hear of a charismatic figure who would rise to lead a large group of willing subjects into an age unlike any ever see before was a real hit."

"I still reckon you were quoting a movie that's due for a sequel," said J.

"Possibly," admitted Harry. "And if they start to hear all the Muggleborn students talking about it they won't be able to deny I was right and give me an Exceeds Expectation retroactively!"

#

Finally the last exam was past - Astronomy at midnight of course – Harry did well and likely got extra credit for his understanding of optic and tracking charms related to stella movements caused by still persisting with the patched up telescope he had rebuilt several times since its initial creation.

It still pointed at Moongirl sometimes, but he didn't mind that.

The students had a week of nothing but relaxation and early preparation for the next year, if they were coming back.

Harry was still undecided, and that made the final dinner a melancholy affair for him, despite Hufflepuff winning the House cup for some unspecified reason.

"Well, that's probably it," he said to himself as he packed up for possibly the final time. His roommates had already cleared out, leaving Harry as the last to leave, for possibly the first time ever since he normally had everything messily organised well ahead of time in order to reduce any stress or urgent effort when the time came.

He would never have called himself a sentimental person before coming to Hogwarts, and didn't really know when that had changed, but at some point in time, the castle, and the people and creatures in it, had became much more to him than just a school.

He knew he would always hold his years at Hogwarts in a special place in his heart.

It was worth the effort.

#

Luna sat thoughtfully twirling a three quills tat had been stuck together. It wasn't one of Harry's early enchanted quills that would automatically dictate and correct, just three normal quills she had glued together for some unfathomable reason.

"You know, Harry," she said dreamily, "you're not really lazy."

Astounded silence suddenly filled the train carriage as everybody stopped to look at the girl and Harry with various levels of amazement, disbelief, and concern, possibly over how Harry might react to such an accusation. Despite all of the outrageous things she had said over the years, this was possibly the most astounding, and slightly insulting.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked, rolling over to peer down from the hammock he had managed to string above everybody's head.

"You are not lazy," she repeated. "You are just efficient."

Harry blinked. "Efficient?"

"Yes," Luna nodded. "You do what needs to be done in the simplest way possible. It's quite brilliant, really."

Harry lay back, contemplating this new perspective, ignoring the snide comments regarding the debatable accuracy of Luna's observation from the usual peanut gallery of his friends filling the seats below him.

Efficient.

He liked the sound of that.

As the train chugged away from Hogwarts, he found himself smiling, deep in thought about the true nature of his laziness. Perhaps Moongirl was on to something. Perhaps he was simply… efficient.

And with that comforting thought, Harry Potter—the boy who lounged—drifted off into a peaceful, well-earned nap.

#

On the other side of the country, in the depths of a dark Alleyway very few would notice or pay attention to, a gathering was taking place.

The large room was so dark the people there would be hard pressed to see the face of the person crammed in next to them, not that they would try or even want to. A dark, moving drawing of a snake could be seen on every raised forearm.

A droning chant filled the room, slowing climbing in volume and tempo and cumulating in a roaring crescendo only to stop as the silhouette of a cloaked figure suddenly appeared on the raised dais in front of them.

The figure slowly raised his hands and drew back his hood, casting unsettling, glowing green eyes out over flock that had gathered at his call.

With a dramatic swirl he tore his cape off and flung it aside, revealing his artificially sculptured body; the equal of which hadn't been seen since Adonis graced the Earth with his presence. A massive snake curled around his shoulders, it huge head scanning the crowd threateningly.

"Let's hear it for the Dark Lord Larry Hotter!" yelled the announcer, somehow eliciting even louder cheers from the audience of mostly females of many different species.

Loud music began thumping as Larry started his routine, twisting and gyrating in ways that would damage an average human.

The crowd screamed in ecstasy and excitement as he continued to dance to the pounding, animalistic rhythm.

"Gets it off!" yelled one particularly vocal house-elf in the front row. "Gets it all off!"

Larry teasingly pretended to oblige, since she and her friends were regulars.

Deep inside, Larry felt pleased. He had found the adoration and worship he craved, and he would rule them, forever, just as the prophecy foretold.

Larry's mouth bent into a perfect smile

Finite Incatatem

#

Well it's been a long Road, 14 years I think, but I am pretty sure we have finally reached the end. Fanfiction dot net stopped working for me many years ago so I have not been getting your reviews, but before that I made sure to reply to every one of them as I really appreciated people letting me know they were reading my work. I may one day re-find my passion for writing, but I doubt Harry the Hufflepuff will ever see anything more than an Omake or two based on some of the silly ideas I have written down.

Hopefully you have enjoyed these stories and they continue to give you a giggle or two for many years to come.

Thank you all.

BajaB