"Thank you." I said quietly. Not afraid she wouldn't hear. I walked up the steps. Holding to the railing, up all 3 flights. My hand was about to reach for Edward's closed door when a cool breeze flushed around my hair and the door opened. My overbearing vampire, standing beside me.

"I told you, you won't be leaving my sight." He said quietly. I avoided his eyes. Walking past him to his restroom. He followed me in and I sighed.

"Edward, there's not even a window in here. Stop. Besides, I need to be naked for a shower."

"Uh right. I will go get Alice."

"Edward. No. I will leave the door open. Get out." He took a deep breath and scrunched his nose.

"Fine. Don't worry about keeping the clothes, we can burn them. God what was on that human." I laughed and pushed him out, closing the door half way and watched him close his bedroom door. He sat down at his desk, his back to me and began going over some paperwork.

I sighed, stripping and dropping my clothes by the door. Stepped into his large shower and turned the water on hot. It took no time at all for the water to turn hot and the steam to surround me. I wish Charlie's did that. All my typical soaps were in here, all full and brand new. It made me smile and daydream of the possibility of living with Edward, but quickly squashed it. I am supposed to be mad with him, I am mad with him. I rinsed the last of the conditioner out of my hair and rinsed the soap off my body and sighed. Shoot, I forgot a towel.

"Edward? The towels?"

"Under the sink!" He called out. I tried to ring all the water from my hair and stepped onto the soft fluffy white rug outside the shower. I walked carefully over and grabbed two towels, one for my hair and the other for my body. I wrapped them around myself and used the hand towel to wipe the water trail I made off the floor.

I opened the bathroom door fully and looked at the back of Edward's head. "My clothes?" I said quietly.

He kept his head down, but pointed to his closet on the other side of the room. "Closet. Your stuff is on the right side. In the drawers and the rack."

"Okay." I made my way quickly to the closet. Turning on the light looking to the right, what used to be Edward's clothes were now mine, jeans and blouses, even a few dresses hung on the rack. I pulled open the drawer, bras and underwear lined and organized. I grabbed whatever I saw first and put it on quickly. The next drawer I opened had tshirts and I pulled one on. It had already been washed, but it had to be new. I didn't own this shirt before.

I was just pulling on a pair of jeans when Edward popped up standing against the door frame. "Alice and I ordered some things online for you."

"Gah!" I clutched my chest and sighed. He let out a small chuckle, which caused me to roll my eyes. I finished buttoning the pants and he just watched me carefully.

"Though, I did have to sneak in some clothes that were more 'you'. Should've seen the 'casual' clothes she had picked out for you.' He chuckled and I just scoffed and rolled my eyes. "So. How are you feeling?"

"Uh. Honestly? I don't know…" he stretched his hand and I took it. He led me to the small couch he had now squished in the corner making space for the large bed. I sat on one side and he sat on the other and sighed. Edward pulled my feet into his lap and held them, delicately drawing shapes on my feet with his thumb.

"Are you still angry with me?" He asked, staring at my toes.

"Yes. Of course I am Edward." I snatched my feet back and he sighed. "You ignored me, snuck me the card, taking mine! Plus you haven't kissed me like that in days and used it against me when you needed to. How messed up is that?"

"It is messed up. But I had to do what I had to do, you wouldn't let me treat you. I knew that kissing you like that would distract you, it's not like you didn't enjoy it." He tried teasing me, smiling at me, then giving me a wink.

I let out a dry chuckle. "So that makes it okay? It obviously affects me more than it does you. I feel played."

Edward looked at me and scooted closer. "I know it does, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken advantage."

It hit me like a punch in the face. "What?"

"What do you mean what?"

"Our kisses don't affect you the way they affect me?" I felt the tears hot behind my eyes. I felt crushed and angry. I had to get out of here, my heart couldn't take anymore today.

"No. No. Bella, that's not what I meant." He held his hands up and looked concerned. I couldn't help but stand up, my head felt like it was spinning. "It's just different for me okay. I have to think about so many things while I'm kissing you. So I don't get as lost in it. I can't. I have to make sure not to crush you, not to open my mouth too much, not to-" I held my hand up and looked away.

"I-," the tears spilled over. I looked at him with the silent tears running down my cheeks. "I- I had to leave. I grabbed my purse that was on his bed. Walking to the door quickly, he was up and stepped in my way. That's right, the card. I yanked it out of my purse and tossed it at him. "I'm going home. Get out of my way."

"Bella. Come on, stop." He spoke quietly, "I didn't mean it like that. Hear me out. Please." He looked desperate, pleading but I didn't want to hear it.

"No." I looked away and he sighed. I opened the door without any more protests from him. Waves of rejection washed over me, the hole in my chest shook.

I made my way quickly down the stairs and passed Emmett who had obviously heard everything. I didn't meet his eyes as I walked past him to the kitchen which I had to pass to get the garage. Esme was there at the table drawing something on paper. She looked up and looked so pitiful.

"Dude. You suck at this." I heard Emmett mumble to Edward behind me.

"Shut up." Edward growled out. I heard a solid smack, but I ignored it, I didn't care who got hit at this point. "Bella." Edward called after me, but I didn't stop. I walked into the garage to Rosalie standing over some book of engine or something car thing almost looking like blueprints. She didn't even look up. She pointed to the wall and I followed her finger to the hooks of keys they had on the wall. I looked around for my truck, but all I saw with the huge engine block in pieces on the floor and grumbled.

Fine. He didn't get lost in my kiss. He could lose his car. I snatched the Volvo keys off the hook and stomped the Volvo that had been parked outside.

"Bella." Edward called again, now walking beside me quickly.

"No." I mumbled. Tears and emotions stuck in my throat. He sighed, grabbing my shoulder.

"Bella, please." I refused to look at him. Opening the car door and sitting inside. Before I could lock it he had the passenger door open and was climbing inside. I'm sure we looked funny. The passenger seat was set for me, the driver's side for him. I kept my anger on my face and adjusted the seat, the mirrors, and everything else I needed to get going.

"Get. Out." I said through my teeth, emotion was thick in my throat.

He chuckled. "Uh no. This is my car." I turned and narrowed my eyes at him. "Will you let me talk?" He said softly, reaching for my hand. I smacked it away, not caring about the burn my finger felt from the quick contact with his hard skin.


"Bella." He sighed, defeated. I turned on the car, turning up the radio. Then I punched it, enjoying the true moment of fear on Edward's face as the wheels kicked up gravel down the long drive."Bella stop." I ignored him and kept going. "Isabella!" Half way through his driveway I slowed down and rolled my eyes.

"You did not just full name me." I looked over at him and narrowed my eyes. I turned back to the road, kept driving. Trying to not let him know how intimidated I was to drive his car. It definitely had more of a kick than my old truck.

"You weren't listening to me." He argued.

"Well I learn from the best. I asked you to let me leave. You wouldn't. You hopped in and I told you to get out. You wouldn't." I rolled my eyes. "Why am I not surprised? Oh that's right, because why would you be swayed by me when I don't affect you."

"Bella, that's not what I meant. And I told you. You are not leaving my sight." He groaned. "You're acting like a child." Pinching the bridge of his nose, looking out the window.

"I am a child. Or did you forget? I'm 18. Technically an adult. But still young, did you forget that grandpa?" I didn't care about the venom in my words and Edward just covered his face and groaned.

"Bella. Stop." I couldn't help but laugh. Not only was I heart broken. I was angry. My heart already hurt, there were no more tears. There was just anger left. Edward turned the radio back up and refused to look at me. The silence in the air was thick. Almost back to Charlie's, Edward turned the radio down and sighed. "Pull over."

"Fat chance." I huffed through my nose.

"Bella." I could hear the irritation in his voice. "Charlie's home. Let me out here and I'll meet you in your room."

"You're not staying."

"Excuse me? What part of, 'you are not leaving my sight' do you not understand?" Edward spoke through his teeth and looked straight ahead.

"I didn't ask. Don't need to understand. I said no. It's my room. You're not coming in." I was not budging.

"Fine. Let me out." I felt a small triumph and pulled over letting him out of his own car. I didn't look back as I left him there and pulled into the gravel drive in front of Charlie's house. I swung the door open and walked inside. Charlie sat watching a game, beer in hand and didn't even move to say hello.

"Hey Bells."

"Hey dad. I borrowed Edward's car since mine is still being worked on."

"Oh really?" That got him to turn around.

"Yeah! Drives pretty fast. Did you want to try it?"

"Eh. Maybe later." I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't worry, I won't tell him." I told him.

"Nah I don't want to fraternize with the enemy." I rolled my eyes and Charlie smirked, turning back to his game. "There's pizza on the table."

"Thanks. I gotta study, I feel so behind."

"Kay. Have fun." Charlie mumbled while he continued to watch the game.

I grabbed two slices of pizza and put them on a paper plate and grabbed a bottle of water. I got to my room, surprised it was empty and smiled to myself. Maybe he got the hint. I put my dinner down and went to the window and locked it, feeling content with myself. I turned around and there he stood leaned against my bedroom door.

"GAH!" Edward laughed and smirked at me, his hands in pockets, looking absolutely delicious. God, no Bella. He looks like a jerk, a stunningly beautiful jerk.

Edward chuckled. "Thought you beat me up here, huh?"

"A girl can dream." I said with as much attitude as I could muster.

"You are such a brat today." He groaned.

"Get. Out." I said through my teeth. Edward just looked at me with no emotion all over again.

"What part of you are not leaving my site do you not understand?" He spoke with intensity, walking towards me with his hands in his pockets, eyes focused on me like I was a flight risk.

My eyes narrowed at him, I felt the rage and the heart ache fester in my chest. "I don't care. At this point she can eat me for all I care. Get. Out."

That did it. The rage on his face broke through his resolve. "Sit down. Do your homework." He was angry, more than he has before. I couldn't help but wince. He pulled his hand back like I was on fire. "Don't let me ever hear you say something like that again. Ever." Edward sat in the rocking chair in the corner. Eyes fixated on the corner in the room.

He gets so emotional, it's concerning sometimes. I couldn't help the attitude coming out at him. "Thought I wouldn't be out of your site?" I snapped. His eyes flicked to me faster than I could see them move.

"You are in my site. In my presence. Alive. Thought I would grant you the illusion of privacy. Should I change that?" He put his hand on his face, elbow resting on the arm rest of the chair. Eyes on me unblinking, observing.

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Whatever." Turning away and opening my computer.

The rocking chair creaked and there was Edward crouched down next to me. "What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness?" He caressed the back of my head gently, I was irritated with how my heart and body responded to him.

"Bella," he breathed softly, his breath across my face. Intoxicating me. "Please?" He grabbed my hand delicately running his lips softly on my knuckles, keeping eye contact the whole time.

I yanked my hand from him, ignoring my fast beating heart. "We both know I respond to you Edward. You don't need to rub it in that I am affected by you. We already know it's not the same for you. Besides, is that the best you can do?"

Edward groaned and sat down next to me on the floor. "You do affect me Bella. But one of us has to hold onto control." He was staring straight ahead looking frustrated.

I turned towards him in my desk chair. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that between the two of us, who has your best interest at heart? Who's always gotta make sure you don't put yourself in harm's way? Me. You're in a relationship with a vampire. One who has never been in a relationship or even wanted to. If I don't pretend that you and your body don't get to me, I'm afraid of what might happen." He looked so worried, but I was still frustrated and he wasn't being clear.

"Like sex. You're afraid to have sex with me. Cool." I turned away from him and stared at my paper for history. The words didn't even make sense but I was tired of the constant rejection.

"Ugh. Bella. No. Trust me that's not the problem. I-"

"Edward. I'm having a little trouble 'trusting' you and your desires for me. I know you're capable of hurting me. Might not as much as I should, but you're the one who holds back and hides things from me. Sure we have to be cautious because of whatever reasons, vampire or your morality. Just like you, I would never force you into anything you don't want to do. Even if I want it." My voice cracked on the last part. Tears filled my eyes. "You force me to do things all the time, like taking my freaking credit card and making me use yours."

"Hey." He stood up on his knees spinning me to face him. "I want to, that's the problem. I can try to be honest in my reasoning but something's I'm just so unsure. I am a 100 year old virgin." He chuckled. Gently wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I sniffled, "Now that I don't believe. You're telling me you've never slept with anyone? Or wanted to?"

"No." He laughed quietly. "Though I have had offers." He stood up and my eyes stayed on his face. He reached out his hand and I took it. "Sit with me?" He asked, I nodded and followed him. We sat on the bed, backs against the headboard, hands still together. "I need you to hear me out. Okay? And if you want to be mad at me afterwards. That's okay. If you have questions, please ask them. Alright?" He looked into my eyes softly and I could feel the anger start to slip.


"I did not mean to hurt your feelings, I am affected by you. By your kisses." He slowly traced my lips with his fingers, staring at them admiringly. He met my eyes and I blushed. "By this blush," he touched my cheek softly, "by these eyes." He gulped, "by your body." He whispered out. Trailing one finger down the center of my chest stopping at my belly button. My heart was racing now. "By your heart." He said more confidently. Moving his finger to my rapidly beating heart. "But in more ways than one. I have never given myself over to my instincts to be intimate wholly with someone. Like I said I've never wanted to, until you." I couldn't help but blush. "I am so unsure on what to do and how to do it." He sighed.

"I am too Edward." I touched his hand softly.

"I know, but I feel like I should know these things. But I am grateful that I get to experience them with only you." He cupped my face with his hand touching me delicately. "But I'm not sure if you've noticed, lately when I kiss you… I get so into it that I can't really focus on the outside world." Hm, I thought to myself, I have noticed that. Twice now he's been surprised when we've been in the heat of the moment. "Honestly it scares me. Just something else to fear I guess." He sighed and looked up. "I'm constantly worried if my venom will get in your mouth and turn you. I'm worried that if I hold you too tight and squeeze too tight, I could bruise you." His voice was strained. "I'd break you or worse… "

"You haven't Edward. Not even a scratch, no bruises." I grabbed his face to turn to me, he slowly moved his head to look me in my eyes. "You haven't."

"Yet. Who is to say I couldn't? Or wouldn't." He sounded in pain. He leaned forward and whispered in my ear. "I want you in every way. Your mouth. Your body. Your soul." A chill ran through me, I felt the family desire and burn in my stomach. My heart took off again, I couldn't help but gasp. "But." He said softly, pulling away and looking in my eyes. I'm sure I was flushed. I could feel it all over. "I can't risk your life for my desires."

"Edward…" I tried to get the thickness out of my voice. "The responsibility doesn't just stay with you. I'm not going to make you do anything you aren't comfortable with. And quite honestly, losing my virginity in my dad's house while he's here doesn't sound very fun to me." We both laughed at that. "Holding back could do more harm than good. Because the heat of the moment can cause all boundaries and morals to jump out the window." I sighed. "But Edward, you pretending to yourself and me… that you don't want me? That's not okay… what if those feelings turn real? Because it's already hard for me everyday to believe you could want someone as boring as me. So when you say you took advantage of the fact I'm more affected by you than you are me. That hurts…"

I dropped his hand and he looked hurt too. We both sighed. "When you're a vampire you'll understand." He closed his eyes and looked to be in pain. He sighed, opening his eyes to look at me. "But I want you. I do, I want to be kissing you and…" his eyes trailed down my body, sending a chill through me. "Other creative things. But I'm constantly fighting this monster in me. I am not a relaxed person, you know this." I nodded and gave a dry laugh. "Well I probably won't be able to fully enjoy you until you're like me."

"A vampire."


"Sex too?" I asked and he looked amused shaking his head.

"Yes. But honestly I'd like to wait until we're married." My eyes bulged from my head.

"Until we're married? Even after I'm turned, you want to wait until we're married?"

"Yes." He seemed so sure.

"But won't that hurt more? Like I've heard everyone's first time is painful. And if I'm set in 'stone'…" I did air quotes around the word, "wouldn't my hymen be in stone too." His head tilted to the side.

"Hm. I'm not sure. I could ask Carlisle and get back to you on that."

"Ew don't do that. He's like your dad and I don't need them to know our business."

"Understood. I won't ask. But sex, I'd like to wait until marriage."

"Fine. You want to wait until marriage. Even though that's an ancient thing to do." I stuck my tongue out at him. "What about other stuff?"

"Other stuff?" He looked confused and I could help but giggle.

"Yes Edward. Like making out. Hands? Oral? Being naked? Ya know… there's more than just closed mouth kissing and snuggling then boom sex." I felt red all over from embarrassment, but I didn't want any more blurred lines.

"Wow. Right. Uh.." he rubbed the back of his head, avoiding my gaze. I felt my stomach turn to knots.

"You know, nevermind. I can see you're uncomfortable and not interested. Don't worry about it." I looked down at my hands playing with my fingers. It was quiet for a long time.

"Hands are fine." Edward spoke clearly, I looked up at him. He seemed nervous. "Though I'd like to warm up to it. It might take awhile for me to get comfortable with the ease of touching you and being touched." I could help but blush. "Closed mouth kisses." I felt my stomach drop in disappointment. "Not because I don't want to, because I'm not sure again if the venom would hurt you… after you're changed, even before we're married, that will be ok." I smiled, blushing hard.

"Okay!" I felt hopeful.

"And same with other oral sex." His eyes trailed down my body and I felt hot all over. His eyes snapped back to mine. "Again I'm not sure my venom from either orifice would harm you." It took me a minute to catch his meaning but once I understood I nodded in agreement. "Making out and kissing you, I'd like very much." Edward froze for a second, then leaned forward and whispered. "Charlie's leaving to patrol for the dogs, I'll be right back." He touched my face softly with his thumb.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Bella, I'll probably be home late. I'm going to go out on patrol." Charlie's voice called through the door.

"Okay dad. I'll just be doing my history paper."

"Alright, night Bells."

"Night!" He left. All the way out the front door, I heard the cruiser turn on and leave. Yet Edward didn't return.

My heart was confused, I sat there for a moment, pulling my knees to my chest, unsure how to feel. Edward emerged from the closet, pulling out his phone, texting quickly, so fast I don't know how the poor phone handled it. I texted Jake to let him know that Charlie was out patrolling, so they can be careful. He said they always are. But that didn't cease my worry or my irritation with him and Edward from earlier. I got up to write my paper, it was easier than I thought, even with my heart aching. Edward sat unmoving the entire 2.5 hours it took me to complete my assignments. Sometimes staring at me, sometimes his mind would wander even though his eyes stared straight ahead. I didn't know where he went or if he was listening to everything around. He was so quiet I almost forgot he was there, if it was for the way my body knew he was there. The stubbornness in me, said to either one, forgive him. Or two, test his resolve, I decided on the two. He needed to earn my forgiveness and I honestly wasn't ready to give it.

I stood up and stretched. Feeling tense and achy from being in the same position for over two hours, ready to go to bed. I was wiped. I took my plate down to the kitchen, my new and improved super overprotective boyfriend close behind.

I headed up the stairs, ready to get changed, considering another shower, but decided against it. "What's going to happen when I need to shower?"

He paused before answering me. It felt weird talking to him, we hadn't spoken since our little squabble. In my opinion I didn't sound mad enough. "Well, I can sit outside the door, you can shower at my house, or I can have Alice come over and sit with you. Why do you want to shower again?"

"I just figured you stand in the shower with me the way you're acting." I said to him, turning quickly to get my pjs before he could see the blush on my face at the idea. I took a deep breath, turned, throwing my clothes in the bed. Remaining eye contact as I striped off my shirt, tossing it at him. Edward stood there emotionless, firing up my courage to continue.

I dropped my pants, kicking them off and towards him. He looked down at the pants and back at me. I held my breath standing there in front of him, fighting the tears in my eyes that he didn't even seem to enjoy it at all. I shook my head. Taking my underwear off and letting my eyes leave his. I snapped my bra off and tossed it on the bed. Putting on my pajamas bottoms first, then my top. Edward stood in the same spot, his arms almost crossed but one of his hands covering his eyes. I grabbed my sort of dirty clothes and pushed past him to the laundry basket. Pushing them in.

Edward groaned, almost sounding like a whine. "You will be the death of me."

I huffed and rolled my eyes. "I think I am just going to test you, to prove how much you want me." His eyes remained closed tight, his head pointed at the ceiling. He breathed out through his nose loudly.

"I need a minute." He said flashing out of the room.

I looked down at my feet, defeated. Sat on my bed, listened for any noise I could hear, but I could only hear my heartbeat.

"Why don't you go to sleep." Edwards' voice caused me to jump. I looked at him standing in the doorway unsure to even enter the room.

I couldn't help the tears that misted in my eyes or even the ones that spilled over. He doesn't want me, I felt the hole in my chest ripping open again, threatening to swallow me from the inside out. Silent tears flooded my face, soaking my shirt.

"Bella." He whispered, there before me in a blink. "My love, please." He begged. Sobs broke me again, Edward scooped me up, sitting on the bed and pulling me into his lap. He stroked my hair, rocking slightly, shushing, kissing my forehead. Bringing me to the closest to calm I could get. His cold skin caused goose bumps to form on my arms.

"Why?" I managed to break out. I looked up at him, tears still streaking my face. "Why don't you want me?"

He scoffed, "Isabella. I do want you." He lifted my chin up to look into his eyes. "I love you. You're my whole reason to be."

"But I don't affect you." I sniffed. I tried to pull away, but he didn't let me budge. "You don't want me, want me."

"Bella, it's to keep you safe-" I couldn't hear the excuses anymore. I covered my ears. Shut my eyes. "Bella." I shook my head. He sighed, resting his chin on my head. I don't know when but I drifted to sleep, in my dream I was surrounded by snow. White snow surrounded me, the cold hard snow welcoming. I laid in it, looking up at the sky, a soft golden sun on the horizon.

I awoke warm. Too warm. Curled on my side tucked into the blankets. I rolled onto my back and stretched, reaching, searching, unable to feel the cold comfort of Edward. I sat up, looking around. He was gone. I heard a tap on the door to my closet and eyes darted in that direction. Edward's hand reached out and waved. I could feel his gaze.

Charlie knocked on my bedroom door. "Good morning Bells." His voice sounded groggy. "I'm hitting the sack. See you after school."

"Okay dad!" I called back through the door. "Have a good sleep."

I couldn't make out his mumbling but knew his door was shut and it was all clear, when Edward came out of the closet, standing tall after being hunched over to fit.

We both just looked at each other. I didn't know what to say, neither did he. He walked slow, playing with his hands. He sat on the end of my bed. Edward looked hesitant, for some reason the hole in my chest pulsed, I had this sinking feeling in my stomach. I couldn't do this, how was I supposed to live in forever with someone who didn't want me fully.

I felt my heart break, Edwards head tilted. But he didn't say anything. I got up quietly, unsure how to feel. I got ready for school, almost in a daze, I got dressed in the bathroom, I couldn't take anymore rejection. I stood in the mirror staring at myself, I knew what I had to do. I don't know if I'd survive it. But I couldn't spend forever this way, he probably feels obligated. I love him too much for that, he doesn't need to feel obligated.

I opened the bathroom door and there he stood next to the stairs.

"Ready?" He asked quietly. I nodded and headed to my room to leave my things on the bed. Edward had my bag and stuff already, so we headed to the car. Edward opened my door for me, it was almost intentional how he didn't touch me. It stung. I watched him walk around the car and get into the driver's seat, carefully placing my bag in the back. "It's going to be chilly today. Do you want hot chocolate?"

"Sure." I replied curtly. The drive was quiet. More silence, it was almost deafening. Anxiety was building, the hot chocolate in my hand was hot, reminding me to stay present. Edward pulled into the school parking lot, it wasn't full yet, but people were arriving. Edwards' phone started buzzing in his pocket. He ignored it, staring straight ahead, almost like he knew what was coming.

"Bella." "Edward." We spoke at the same time. He smirked, it hurt like a straight shot to the heart.

"You first." He motioned, turning his body and attention to me.

"I think we need a break." I said out loud. Looking at my shoes.

"A break?" I looked up at him, my tears, threatening to spill over. "From school?"

"No. A break from us." He looked dumbfounded.

"No." He said firmly. I felt my tears spill over. "I just got you back. No."

"And what have you done since Edward? Tricking me into using your money. Trying to start a fight with Jacob. Showing me how little you're attracted to me sexually." He shook his head upset.

"No. No." He tried to remain calm. "I am attracted to you. I'll take you anywhere you want to go right now and prove it to you. As for the money thing, why not? I have more than I need. Why struggle?"

I huffed. "I'm done." I went to open the door but Edward locked it. "Are you serious right now?"

"You are not leaving me."

"Funny. When I said the same to you, you didn't care then either." I snapped.

He actually gasped at that. "Bella. Please. I am trying to protect you from myself, the Volturi, Victoria, yourself," he groaned. "Uneven sidewalk. We will have all the time in the world to be intimate." He sounded exhausted with himself.

I gasped that time. "How dare you. You're treating me like I'm so horny teenager. I just want to feel equal to you, wanted!"

"I do want you!" He yelled. I flinched. Froze. I don't know what it was, but him being mad at me, especially yelling, brought me to tears. He sighed. My lip quivered, tears fell like rain, I felt so small. He looked like he wanted to cry too. "We're not going to school today." He pulled out of the parking space and slowly took off, heading away from the school.

I put my hot chocolate down and turned away from him. Trying to keep my crying quiet, while I stared at the trees out the window. He pulled into the Cullens long drive away, quiet as well. I felt myself shut down. When he stopped, I got out of the car to go inside, not looking at him. He followed me but from a bigger distance than I was used to. I saw him in the reflection of the door, hands in his pockets, looking down, almost looking ashamed.

I sat on the couch in the living room when I got inside. It didn't look like anyone else was home and I didn't have the energy to climb the stairs.

I just let my body fall to the side, landing on a pillow. My tears are all gone. If the days didn't age me, this stress did. Edward sat down at the end of my feet, turning on the tv. The cooking channel. Instinctively I pulled my feet away from him, pulled my knees to my chest and he sighed.

"Can we talk?" He asked quietly. I just looked at him over my shoulder. He grabbed my feet and pulled me closer to him. Picking me up and pulling me into his lap so I was straddling him. He held my face softly. "I owe you many apologies. For one, I'm sorry for making you feel unwanted. There is no excuse for that, that changes now. Ok?" I nodded, he continued. "I am also sorry for yelling at you like that. My emotions got the best of me. You are free to take it out of the Volvo, I deserve much worse for speaking to you in such a way. I want you to be my partner in every way and you never deserve my temper. I apologize my love. If you need a break, I am more than happy to give it." Edward caressed my face with his cold hand, my heart lurched. I didn't know what to say. So I just laid on his chest, resting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me, stroking my back, giving my face a kiss. We sat like that for a minute or two and then Edward wiggled, almost like he was uncomfortable. I sat up, looking at him in the face.

"What is it?" I was so confused. "Are you uncomfortable?"

He groaned and covered his eyes, then wiped his hand down his face and adjusted me by my hips so I was better placed on his lap. Then I felt it, my face turned bright red and Edward looked up at the ceiling, embarrassed.

"I'm more than comfortable." He spoke quietly. I couldn't believe it.

"Do you want me to get up?" I asked him.

"No. Not unless it makes you uncomfortable?"

"No." I said simply. Blushing, "does this happen often?"

Edward chuckled looking at me in my eyes. "Yes. That's why I needed a minute yesterday, it took everything in me not to…" he looked at me with eyes I haven't seen before. Whatever that feeling was, I liked it. He cleared his throat and continued. "But generally I hide better"

"Don't." I whispered.

"I was raised to be a gentleman, Bella. Especially with the woman I'm courting."

"You are a gentleman." I laughed, I pulled his hands up my legs, letting them rest on my bottom. "But trying too hard is getting you in trouble. I am the only one you get to be with this way." Edward swallowed, looking at me intensely. My heart was beating so fast, I felt it all over my body. He could take me now if he wanted.

I smiled at him and he leaned forward, putting his lips to my ear. "I told you I want you." His words and breath on my ear covered my skin in goosebumps. Knowing he wanted me, finally experiencing a little bit of that want soothed my aching heart. I felt like we were on more of an even ground, with the promise of being more intimate and knowing how I affected him. I was so eager to explore this new side of us.