a/n: this is a dark fic, please do not read if you are uncomfortable with murder or intense obsessive/ manipulative behavior.

this fic is based on the song "In My Room" by Insane Clown Posse.

if you've never heard the song before, I highly recommend you listen to it before if you're weary about reading this fic, and if the song is too much, it's ok to back out, thank you for considering reading my fic.

if you think you'll be okay with the fic and haven't heard the song before, maybe wait till you're done to listen to really get the understanding of what I was attempting to go for.

this fic has been in my drafts for ages, so the writing might not be as strong as my other fics. it's also a very different writing style to what i'm used to.

also take the "mild smut" tag very lightly, if you're here just for the smut, i'm sorry, you'll just have to wait for my other unreleased fics.

i hope the release of this one-shot is a good apology for my inactivity on my other fic "Wild Witches Weekly"

* Asterisks represent flashbacks!

"Draco, did you hear that?" A voice asked.

I turned my head, looking into the eyes of my long-time friend and now my lawyer. "No."

Blaise sighed, but after a few deep breaths he grinned "You're free mate, no more Azkaban for you."

No more Azkaban. But I've grown to accept Azkaban.

"Fantastic," I said, looking over the crowd of The Wizengamot who had all scowls on their faces. They don't want me free. "How long was I there?"

Packing up his briefcase Blaise looked over at me curiously "3 years, way too long in my opinion."

"Maybe not long enough." I tried to joke, but it only earned a fake laugh from my friend.

Blaise patted me on the shoulder, "Let's get you home, I think you need some rest."

I smiled. Home. I could see her finally if I'm home.

I apparated myself back to Malfoy Manor, not wanting any more time with Blaise. I had things to do now, important things.

Busting through the door I vaguely heard voices but my main focus was my room.

"Draco! I wasn't expecting you home so soon! Let me see you!"

Someone tried to stop me from what I needed to do, so I shoved them away while maintaining my route.

Closing the door behind me I hastily looked for parchment. I'd write her a letter, she always loved my letters.

After a few drafts I wrote a perfect 'I'm Back' letter, sealing it and handing it to my eagle owl to deliver. It was getting to dinner time so she'd receive my letter by the time it's dark outside. Perfect.

Next on my list was to wait.

Knock after knock came from my door. But I'm alone. No one is here, you're alone waiting for her.

Plenty of knocks, but never a tap. I'm waiting for a tap, not a knock.

Catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror, I got startled. This is not what I looked like when she loved me. My hair was longer and I had thick stubble. My skin is coated in dirt and sweat.

Azkaban did not treat me as well as I remembered. Azkaban did treat me well, they let me see her whenever I wanted.

I needed a shower before her tap, tap.

Eventually, in the cold spray of the shower, I let visions cloud my mind of the best times of my life.

* "Draco," Hermione broke the kiss. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"I know," I said, pulling her small frame back to me "But I can't help myself."

Finally, I snogged her senseless in a hidden alcove. Moving my hands down her thighs and moving up her skirt until she stopped me "Draco...I-"

"What?" I wanted her to say it. Tell me she has never been touched. Never been with anyone. Never wanted to be with someone till me.

"I need you to confirm something for me."

Nodding eagerly, I waited. She was nervous, I could tell by how she fiddled with my arm sleeve.

"Harry has some suspicions about you," She admitted, looking towards the floor.

It's not anything close to what I wanted to hear, or anything I want to hear when I'm snogging Hermione, but I tilted my head and asked "What are they?"

"He thinks you're a Death Eater." My heart stopped. My soul died at that very moment.

Especially when I lied to her sweet, innocent face. "Well, that's bloody stupid isn't it?"

She smiled "So you're not a Death Eater?"

"No, of course not."

Yes. I'm a Death Eater. And I love you. *

Finally done with my shower, as I towel dried I heard what was music to my ears.

Tap, tap.

Opening the window, I let my owl fly in. Immediately grabbing the letter from his beak, I grinned at the letter that smelled sweet like her.

She accepted my offer.

I get to see her.

Moments later the floo in my room burst to life and my love stepped through, nervously looking around till her eyes locked with mine. "Draco…"

"Hermione…" I wanted to yell her name, scoop her up and take her right there where she stands.

It's been so long.

"Why am I here?" She asked, eyeing the dusty state of my room and the lack of organization it used to have.

Stepping forward, closer, I answered "I wanted to see you, I'm free," She stayed silent. Studying me like she used to like I was a potions question she couldn't figure out. The moment her eyes turned to pity, I added "I missed you so much, Hermione."

"I'm not going to fuck you." She stated, her stance strong and unmoving. "Not after everything that happened."

I would never ask that of you, darling.

Smiling, I inclined my head "I didn't expect you to."

"Then why am I here?" She seemed mad. I can't figure out why. It's me, she's with me again after so long, why isn't she as pleased.

"Lay with me?" I offered my hand, "Just like you used to love to do."

Her body language told me she was about to leave.

Don't let her leave.

Changing tactics, I added "Azkaban was hard, I just need that sense of safety and comfort, and you, Hermione, give me that."

My insides flared as her face softened and gradually took my hand that was still being offered to her. Leading her to the bed, I laid us both down. Her movement seemed hesitant as she got comfortable against my chest while I protectively enveloped my arms around her.

Laying here I did feel safe again. It wasn't a total lie. She doesn't talk much, but she holds me tight as I tell her continuously how much I missed her. "Can you stay the night?" I asked, falteringly.

She looked reluctant but nodded slowly.

She missed you too. She loves you too. It's not over, it's just starting over again.

The weight of her body told me she was finally asleep. Giving her a chaste kiss on the lips, I hated how unresponsive they were, but if that's all I can get right now, I'll take it.

* "I love you." I whispered into Hermione's hair as I slowly started to push in and out of my Gryffindor.

This was, luckily for me, her first time. Wanting to make it good for her I whispered things I knew she loved to hear. The moans I got in response only made me want to go faster, but I held back.

This is for her, not me.

"Faster," She finally groaned, trying to move her hips against mine. I let her do so. Gods, of course, she knew nothing about sex yet she was perfect at it.

Her breasts were bouncing slightly now each time our hips met. Sucking one into my mouth, I lived for how she gripped into my hair, saying my name like a prayer.

The warm walls around my cock fluttered and I did everything in my power not to lose control just yet. Letting go of her nipple I snaked my hand between us, finding her lovely clit and starting a swirling motion that was in time with our thrusts.

She's panting now. Panting hard.

I could make her come, I know it. "Can you come like this, darling?"

Her cheeks were flush as she nodded eagerly. "Yes, Merlin, yes."

She didn't need to say more as I increased speed, listening to her body and noises to know what she enjoys.

The look on her face showed me she's toeing the line, so I helped her along "Come, Hermione, come for me."

And she did. She clenched me so hard, I essentially came not more than a second later, loving how she milked me.

"You're so good for me." I murmured, smoothing her hair out of her face so I could kiss her.

Leaning back, the reaction my heart had to the smile she gave me was the first sign I knew I could never let her go. *

She was gone the next morning, having slipped out when I accidentally fell asleep. The sun burned me through the curtains. It was all too much.

I missed her already.

The moment I came to my senses I moved to my desk, starting the next letter I planned to send to her tonight. She'd join me again tonight, I can feel it.

She still loves me.

Knocks came through the day once again. "Draco, it's your mother. Please let me in. I want to see you."

I never registered the voices or the knocks because they were never her.

Never a tap, tap.

After my letter was sent that night, in the dark, my heart flared when I heard the tap against the window. Once again she had accepted to see me.

Hermione ended up coming to me every night for the next few days, but she'd always leave by the time the sun was up.

One night, as we laid closely together I told her how I felt "Don't leave in the morning."

She sighed, "Draco, I have to. I have a life and me being here isn't even right, it makes no sense."

"So you won't go." Please, pretty please don't go.

"No, I will, Draco."

Sitting up quickly, I swung my legs out of the bed, starting to pace the room as thoughts consumed me. She hates you. You disgust her. You weren't enough for her. It's all just pity.

Her eyes were wide as she watched me "What's wrong?" She asked, slightly flinching away as I turned towards her.

"How am I supposed to know you're well when you're gone?! That you're going to come back?!" I shouted, taking heavy breaths to try and tranquilize my nerves.

"Draco, calm down-"

"I need to keep you safe!" Stomping over, I closed the floo. She's safe with me. "When we were at Hogwarts, I'd walk around with the killing curse on my tongue for you, if anyone did you wrong all you had to do was ask and you'd be safe!"

I didn't see that she jumped off the bed till she was making a run for it towards my door. Hermione opened it stepping into the hall, but I followed closely behind, caging her in the wall opposite of my door. "Hermione…" I whispered, trying to calm myself as she asked.

She looked away, her body slightly trembling under mine. This was not how I wanted her to be under me.

"Please...come back to the room. I'll do anything for thy, don't ignore me." I sighed, trying to show her vulnerability. "You know how hard Azkaban was for me, I'm trying to be good for you." Brown eyes met mine as she nodded gently, permitting me to bring her back to my room.

Despite everything, I was awoken the next morning as she attempted to slip out of bed. "You're leaving."

Gazing around reluctantly she gave a small inclination "Yes, I'm sorry."

"If I had it my way the fucking sun would be gone," I said simply, wiping my eyes from sleep.

Stopping mid step on her way to the floo, she turned around with that beautifully curious look on her face. "What? Why?"

Shrugging my shoulders, I answered honestly, loving how her eyes became rounded. "I hate that you leave when the lights come on."

We said our goodbyes and I went to sleep, hoping that it would be way later the next time I woke up.

The darker it is, the closer I am to see her.

Her arrivals are usually wavering and relaxed, but the next time she showed she was frantic "Draco!"

Scrambling to her, I took hold of her shoulders, trying to show comfort "What's wrong? Are you okay?"

Nodding quickly, she said something I dreaded to hear "I can't stay long, but Ron found out I've been coming here."

That bastard's going to try and keep us apart.

"And he thinks it's best I don't come here anymore, I told him I wouldn't but he doesn't believe me! But it might be for the best if I stop coming, you need time to heal, not stay in the past."

Shaking my head, I protested "No, no, you need to keep staying with me."

She looked as upset as I was, but I couldn't feel the passion radiating off of her like I knew mine was. "Draco, no, I have to go now. I'll maybe come back when things die down, just focus on yourself okay?"

She won't believe you if you keep scaring her. Stop freaking out. She won't come back, you need to convince her. "You're right," I said with a substantial breath "I'll see you in a few days."

She smiled, and to my surprise leaned, giving me a swift peck on the cheek. It was cold, but it was there.

Standing still, I watched how she hurried into the floo, calling for the Weasley's house 'The Burrow'

The Burrow… the place that keeps her from you.

But not for much longer.

* She was crying, tears streaming down her face as she yelled "You lied! You are a Death Eater!"

My hands were up in surrender as I try to soothe her from afar "I am, but I don't want to be-"

"No-" She cut me off "You lied to me! You're a part of a cause that wants me dead, Draco!"

I knew I was crying too. She couldn't leave me now, not when I needed her most. "I'm trying to protect you, let me help you. I can keep you safe!"

Shaking her head vigorously, she wiped her tears bitterly "You're crazy to think you can keep me safe! I can't see you anymore" She was leaving our secret room, her wand pointing at me to stay in my spot. "I will never forgive you."

Then the love of my life was gone because I tried to protect her.

And I vowed to never stop. She didn't know what she was walking away from. *

The breeze was lovely as the sunset in the field surrounding The Burrow.

It might've not been the best decision for me to be here in the visible light, but I needed to be done by the time I sent my letter so Hermione could still come tonight.

I cast a quick "Humano Revilio", confirming Hermione wasn't in the house before I entered. The door was wide open, probably providing the only cool air in the house along with the open windows.

My main target was sitting on the couch, still in his Auror attire, nursing a beer. I was surprised by how quickly he sensed my presence. "Malfoy? What the fuck are you doing here?"

I felt my lip lift in a sneer, "Come to show you why you shouldn't have tried to keep my love from me."

"Love? Who the-"

"Hermione." My sneer turned into a smile as his face grew pale before that ugly shade of crimson "We love each other."

Shaking his head, he reached for his wand but I disarmed him fast. He growled "You're crazy Malfoy! I heard all the things the Aurors from Azkaban said, they think they let the dementors get too close to you. You're clearly not sane anymore."

"I am sane!" I shouted suddenly. Creaks above me started, showing the movement of the other people in the house. I've taken too long. With a quick flick of my wand, the anti-ward spell shot up, keeping everyone in and everyone out. "Hermione loves me, we never fucked, we only ever made love."

His lips turned into a straight line "She wouldn't let you touch her."

Grinning, "I beg to differ."

He lunged, preparing to strangle me, but I tired of this conversation, I'm running out of time. "Sectumsempra!" I yelled, laughing as he fell with a groan, blood spilling from his chest as mine did from Potter after Hermione left me.

"Merlin!" The voice of Arthur Weasley sounded behind me, he must've not had his wand as he sprinted down the hallway, but I quickly shot the killing curse. His body joined his sons on the floor with a noisy thud.

A cry came from the kitchen. A woman. Not Hermione.

Rounding the hallway into the kitchen I discovered Molly Weasley, hurriedly scanning for any weapon to use against me. Something was different for me as I approached, summoning a knife from the other portion of the kitchen.

Molly had always been kind to everyone, but me. She preached loving everyone, even taking in Potter and Hermione as her own, but since the moment I met, in her eyes, I had no redeeming qualities.

Being loved was hard. I never thought I could feel love till Hermione came around. Molly lied about loving everyone, she only relishes those who are convenient to her, and Hermione is convenient to her. She probably wants the Weasel to marry Hermione and have all these red-haired children.

She's lying to Hermione, you'd be doing Hermione a favor.

Kill her.

My knife drew into her chest as her pleas of mercy turned into wails of agony. One stab wasn't enough for her betrayal. She needs more. And another. And another. Another. Another.

Blood was everywhere by the time I was out of breath and fatigued. She was dead, her body pale from the blood loss. A smirk crept onto my face as I glanced around, finding the house peaceful and serene with the blood of Weasel and his mother. The body of Weasel's father, face down and toppled.

Fortunately, it had just turned dark. Removing the apparition ward, I apparated back to the Manor a bloody mess with a job well done. Now I just have to wash up and wait for my baby to come.

Knocks were once again present, but my spells and wards kept them from getting any closer. "Draco! Mate! It's Theo! Please let me in, we're all worried about you!"

I waited 2 or 3 days, 4 days, waiting for the "tap, tap" like always.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

"Draco! It's your mum! Aurors are here! Do you hear me?!"

I waited 2 or 3 months, 4 months, waiting for the "tap, tap" just for once.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

"Draco! What have you done?!"

Where is she?

I waited 2 or 3 days, 4 days, waiting for the "tap, tap" like always.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

Why isn't she coming back?

I fucking killed those people!

I waited 2 or 3 months, 4 months, waiting for the "tap, tap" just for once.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

Where the fuck is she?!

Why hasn't she come back?!

I waited 2 or 3 days, 4 days, waiting for the "tap, tap" like always.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

I can't believe I did it!

I killed them!

I waited 2 or 3 months, 4 months, waiting for the "tap, tap" just for once.

I waited and hated this, I created a bloody mess.

Where is she?!

Love… I can't ignore her.

In my room… do anything for my baby.

Tap, tap.

Love… I do adore her.

In my room… her and I

a/n: hope you enjoyed!

i wanted to leave a lot of room from reader interpretation, so please tell me what you think happened after the story! did hermione ever show? was draco taken back to prison? did they ever find out it was draco? Have fun with your ideas!

all my info is in my bio!