The cold out there
Warnings/notes : Crawford x Nagi, Crawford pov. All references to Nagi's past are based on fanfiction I read and my own imagination ; if Nagi has an official past I don't know it.
Disclaimer : I don't own Weiss Kreuz.
written at 11th march 2003, by Misura
"Nagi?" I ask, all the memories still dancing around in my head.
We are more or less alone, since Schuldich has gone out.
"Yes?" He looks up.
"How are things going at school?"
"Fine." He turns his head away, as if disappointed by the question.
"Are your classmates nice?"
The question may sound easy to an ignorant listener.
I happen to know the kids in Nagi's class are pestering him about all day long.
Because he's different and like all children, they know that by instinct.
He knows I know about them.
What I ask is : 'Will you lie to me if I ask you my real question?'.
He sighs. "No. Not really."
And he looks at me again.
His eyes are the color of a sky in spring.
There's a promise of summer in them, but also a reminder of winter.
I find I can say : "I loved you, in the year we first met."
His mouth curves a bit, in an almost-smile.
"I loved you too."
"Things are different now."
I couldn't, shouldn't have expected anything else.
It's all my own fault.
"But I still love you."
His voice is so soft it's barely audible.
There's sadness in his eyes.
"I will always keep loving you."
He walks over to me, and maybe this is actually the first time he ever came to me instead of the other way around. In all our three meetings I always approached him.
"You are the only weakness I have left."
I realize I still haven't said anything.
"Nagi....would you like to go and drink some hot chocolate? I know a very nice, quiet place."
I find that in the end I can't say the actual words.
And the summer is in his eyes, in the middle of winter.
There are still things we never talk about.
It doesn't really matter.
We both know the other one will bring it up when he's ready for it.
One day I will tell Nagi I love him.
One day he will tell me what happened to him in that year I lost sight of him.
Until those days we are more than content with what we have.
And we will allow no one to take that away from us ever again.