Heyyy, I'm back to posting new stuff without finishing my other stories! I'm currently quarantined since I caught mycoplasma and instead of writing for my other books, I started rewriting pretty old drafts (we're talking from 2015 old), 5k words of this stuff came out and I realized the shocking lack of good, recent Total Drama content! So here you go, a fic with chaotic Mexican siblings just trying to (legally) make money and have a good time.

I also gave Chris a boyfriend just because I can and because he needs someone to take the reigns of the braincell.

CHAPTER ONE:

WALK LIKE AN EGYPTIAN - PART 1

Valeria adjusted the long sleeves of her white off the shoulder mini dress, which was paired with a white corset embroidered with a few blue carnations and nude flats. She looked up, meeting Chris' dark brown eyes, and tilted her head. "What?" She asked, pushing some of her long hair out of her face, and glanced down at her outfit again. "Too much?" Sure, they were just at an airport and she was wearing designer's clothing, but they were about to go live on international television.

He waved a hand through the air, smiling, "Nah, you're fine." Chris reassured, then looked around with what Valeria assumed was his best casual expression. "So, where's, uh—"

"Inside the plane, making sure everything is working properly." Valeria interrupted, knowing exactly who he was going to ask about. She put her hands on her hips, her lips curving into a smirk, "What happened to keeping it low, cuñado?"

"We are!" Chris protested before his attention was caught by one of the camera men signalling that they would be going live in three, two… "Season three of Total Drama, folks!" He declared, gaining that plastic host smile as he spread his arms. "The world is gonna be mine, sea to shining sea! Sadly, I'm forced to share my world with the three-ring travelling teen freak show." He added, turning to watch the bus pull up next to them. "They'll be competing all around the globe for another million dollars. So, let's meet our players: Courtney, Duncan, Heather, Gwen, Leshawna...!"

Heather stopped abruptly, making Gwen stumble into her. The blue haired girl groaned, stepping back with a hand on her nose, and narrowed her eyes. "Are there reserved seats? IE, can I have one not behind Heather's pony hair ponytail?" She asked, pointing a finger at said ponytail.

Heather turned to her, crossing her arms over her chest with an offended expression on her face. "Um, my extensions are human hair!"

Duncan snorted, "You learn something new every day." He commented, making Gwen snicker. Courtney's lips pressed together in a firm line as she mistrustfully eyed their interaction.

"Lindsay, Owen, DJ, and… Harold!" Chris continued fluidly, unbothered by the brief interruption. His eyebrows knitted together when the three boys didn't exit the vehicle, and Valeria shrugged her shoulders at him. "Uh, guys?" After a few seconds of struggle, DJ stepped down, his arms wrapped tightly around Owen's shoulders.

"Sweet strawberry preserves! No!" Owen cried loudly, fruitlessly struggling against DJ's strong hold.

"He's afraid of flying, remember?" DJ reminded Chris, easily hauling the big guy to the line.

"Aerophobia, from the Latin, as opposed to aeronausiphobia, the fear of air sickness." Harold added rather unhelpfully, pushing his glasses further up the bridge of his nose.

Noah rolled his eyes as he stepped out after him. "Keep up the fascinating, and I'm going to be aeronauseous all over you."

"And returning favorites Noah, Cody, and—" Chris' smile faltered as he was interrupted once more, and Valeria put a finger over her lips to keep from laughing.

"Yo, yo, yo! This year's winner is in the house— uh, bus. I mean, runway!" Ezekiel awkwardly exclaimed with a beam and set his hands on his hips. "Where's the plane, eh?"

"I know, right?! Let's fly! Whoo!" Izzy cheered as she jumped onto the scrawny boy's shoulders, sending them both tumbling to the ground in a tangled heap.

"Yep, Izzy's back." Chris nodded his head, "Also returning this season, Tyler and the co-host of Total Drama Aftermath, Bridgette." Both tripped over Ezekiel and Izzy, landing in a pile.

"Yo, Chris, you forgot to introduce me!" Ezekiel called out, and the host sighed tiredly.

"And Ezekiel." He said unenthusiastically before brightening up again. "And now to mix things up and keep it all fresh, we're adding two new competitors. He's an honor-roll student with a diplomat for a dad and an amazing ability to charm the pants off most species…Alejandro!" Valeria rolled her eyes and shook her dead, already knowing what kind of man this Alejandro was. This was going to be interesting to see.

The young man took off his shades, revealing a pair of stunning blue eyes as he smiled charmingly at the other contestants. "Perhaps I can assist." He said, helping both Bridgette and Izzy off the human pile. Both girls gaped at his handsome features.

"I-I have a boyfriend!" Bridgette stammered, the tips of her ears growing pink.

"And, amigos, allow me," Alejandro continued, extending a hand to the rest of the boys on the ground, who declared themselves as heterosexual between flustered stammering. Valeria laughed quietly behind her hand.

"And she's a sugar addicted superfan with sixteen Total Drama blogs, Sierra!"

The girl came running out of the bus, squealing. "Oh my god, I love you guys!" Sierra exclaimed, putting her hands on her head as she stared at the contestants in awe. "And this is the greatest day of my life and—" She began hyperventilating, and Valeria exchanged a startled glance with Chris. "Anybody got a paper bag I can breathe into?!"

An intern passed a brown paper bag to Valeria, refusing to go over to the possible nut-case. Not that anyone would blame him. Valeria plastered a small smile on her face as she walked towards the girl. "Here you go, sweetie." She said.

"Thank you!" Sierra exclaimed, taking it from her hands, then paused. "Are you new, too?"

Chris took that as his cue to come over. "This is Valeria, she'll be my assistant this season!" He said, patting her shoulder.

"Hold on!" Leshawna called out, squinting her eyes at Valeria. "Where have I seen you before?" She asked curiously.

"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay gasped, her hands coming up to her cheeks, "You're from that fashion magazine!"

"And aren't you from that soap opera?" Heather piped in, her eyebrows knitting together.

Alejandro snapped his fingers, realization spreading over his features, "Pasión de Corazones!" He exclaimed, actually sounding excited, and Valeria laughed as she was surrounded by contestants turned fans.

"Dang," Chris said, chuckling as he looked down at his wristwatch, "not even five minutes in. That's a new record." He noted.

Valeria tucked some of her hair behind her ears, "Yes, I'm Valeria Ochoa from tv, and I'm also a model." She said, nodding to Lindsay, then turned to the camera. "Shout-out to the wardrobe, by the way!" She added, and Helen gave her a thumbs up behind the camera.

"Guys, los quiero, but we need to keep this shit moving. I don't want to edit half an hour of Vale's fanclub again." Manu piped in from their earpiece, and Valeria held back any comments about Chris' wide smile at the sound of her older brother's voice. They wanted to keep their relationship out of the spotlight until they got married, but she wasn't so sure that was going to be possible with Chris' lovesick puppy expression every time Manu was involved.

The plane pulled up, and every contestant was clearly wondering what decisions they'd taken in their lives to end up in this situation. Courtney raised her hand, "Excuse me, but I'd like to express some concern about the safety of our plane." She stated.

Manu had made sure the plane had its papers up to date and that everything was working properly, but Chris wanted it to look "as fucked up as possible" to scare the contestants since his fiancé wasn't interested in dealing with lawsuits. So, they ended up scraping off the paint from the plane to make it look old and on the verge of falling apart. Honestly, Valeria has no clue of how Chris hadn't been thrown in jail at this point, but at least he was getting better now that he was with her brother.

"Relax! It's perfectly safe." Chris reassured, which was as comforting as a reassurance from the devil himself.

Valeria waved a dismissive hand through the air, "It's fine." She said, which gained her a few doubtful looks. Understandable.

"Now boarding!" The host exclaimed cheerfully.

"No!" Owen exclaimed, backing away from the plane. "I can't ride in that! Call the United Nations! Call a cab! Call my mom!" Valeria watched as Chris took out a frying pan from only god knows where, marching over to the blond. "No, I'm not doing this! I'm out! This is unethical!"

Clang!

Valeria pursed her lips and pressed a finger against her earpiece. "Uh, Manuel?" She asked hesitantly.

Manu sighed deeply, "I'll edit that out."

Chris turned to the other contestants, "Anybody else got a problem with it?" He asked sweetly.

"No!"

"Love it!"

"Dibs on the window seat!"

Tossing the pan over his shoulder, Chris smiled, "Now boarding on a voyage to a million big ones!" He pointed to the camera, "We're saving you a first class seat for all the action, right here on Total Drama World Tour…!" He sang the last part, making Duncan scoff.

"Seriously?"

"I'm not editing that out. I love that delinquent." Manu's voice snickered.

"Singing, really?" Gwen asked skeptically as they boarded the plane. "I thought Chris was joking about that."

Courtney shrugged her shoulders with a bright smile, "Well, I don't have a problem with it." She stated.

"Yeah, 'cause you like singing." Leshawna pointed out.

Duncan pointed a finger at himself, "Well, I don't." He declared, narrowing his eyes at Chris. "Girls sing, little birdies sing, but Duncans do not sing." He finished, stubbornly crossing his arms over his chest.

Harold lit up, "Think I'll get to beatbox?" He asked in excitement.

Duncan turned to him, scowling, and lifted a closed fist. "I'll beat you if you try." He threatened.

"Why are you doing this to us?" Heather asked, glaring at Chris as though she hadn't signed a contract that explicitly said they had to sing on the show. Seriously, Manu and the team slaved over that contract! Did none of them read it?

"Singing reality shows are huge." Chris pointed out, and Valeria raised her eyebrows at the camera. She saw the crew stifling their laughter. "And the worse the singing, the higher the ratings. Which is why on this show, there will be no vocal coaches or rehearsals or warning. Anyhoo," He continued over the complaints of the contestants, "this is the dining area, where you'll enjoy in-flight meals."

"Not for long, eh," Ezekiel pointed out with a cocky expression, and Valeria pursed her lips. "Prepare to lose to the Zeke!"

Gwen crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face him. "Okay, so not trying to be mean here, but you do know you got voted out first last time, right?" She asked, looking a tad concerned.

"Word." Ezekiel nodded, "And I spent every minute since making sure that don't happen again. I'm stronger, faster, smarter—"

"Chattier, blabbier, can't-shut-uppier." Chris snapped, annoyed, "Now zip it and let me finish the tour so we can get this bird in flight!"

Valeria cleared her throat softly, patting her future brother-in-law on the shoulder. "Relax, cuñado, don't kill the kid." She uttered and watched Chris take a deep breath to calm himself.

"Is there a ladies' room?" Leshawna asked.

"Just through there." Chris answered, pointing to the confessionals rather than the real bathrooms.

"Good. 'Cause I gotta make a deposit." Leshawna said happily as she strutted past them. It took exactly two seconds for her to realize there was a camera in front of the mirror, making both Valeria and Chris share a laugh. "Ugh! Can't a sister get a little privacy on this program?!" They heard her exclaim as she stormed out of the confessionals.

Chris guided them into the next room, "The losing teams will enjoy luxurious economy class accommodations between destinations." He explained.

"Okay, but where are our beds?" Lindsay questioned, looking around the room.

The host turned to the wooden benches, "Owen, care to demonstrate?" He asked cheerfully, getting a loud snore and sleepy mumbles from the blond.

"That does not look comfortable." Heather pointed out.

"No comfort for losers." Chris shrugged.

Valeria shook her head and gave a small smile to the contestants, "You get pillows and blankets, don't worry." She said.

"Plus safety harnesses and an emergency exit. But no comfort here, here, or here." Chris added, gesturing to the general area of the benches.

Sierra laughed obnoxiously, holding her middle as she approached the host. "OMG, Chris. I am just LOL." She said, wiping a tear from her eye while Chris stared at her, disturbed.

Again, Valeria looked over at the camera crew, mouthing an incredulous "What the fuck."

"We should hit the winners' compartment, eh?" Ezekiel piped in. "'Cause I ain't ever gonna sit back here. Ha! Never." He declared, blind to the annoyed stares of the people around him.

Noah wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Is never your policy on mouthwash, too, Homeschool?" He asked, waving a hand in front of his face to fan the smell away.

"This is the first class cabin, where each week's winners will be staying." Valeria stated as they stepped into first class.

"Now, this is the kind of accommodation ladies deserve." Alejandro said, smiling charmingly at Lindsay.

The blonde's eyes widened, "They get ladies in first class, too?" She asked in wonder, looking around the room before realization dawned on her. "Oh! Me! You meant me."

DJ crossed his arms over his broad chest, shaking his head. "That guy is as smooth as Mama's gravy."

"Lindsay's supposed to like me." Tyler complained, and DJ chuckled.

"Nobody can compete with gravy."

"Lindsay! I can do a handspring." Tyler called out, and surprisingly managed two flips… before tumbling painfully to the ground.

Valeria cringed, "Can I get a medic over here?" She asked over her shoulder.

Lindsay cupped a hand over her mouth. "Oh my gosh. Poor…" She trailed off and looked up at Alejandro, "uh, I'm blanking on his name. Oh, oh! I know! Alejandro."

The hispanic man put a hand on his chest, "That's my name."

The blonde batted her eyelashes, "And what a nice name." She said dreamily. "Alejandro. I can say it all day."

Alejandro smirked, setting a hand on his hip, "Please do." He purred, causing her to giggle girlishly.

— Valeria confessional —

She let out a long sigh and clicked her tongue. "Ay guerita..." She lamented, trying not to smile.

— end confessional —

"Woah, where are we now?" Cody asked in awe. "A grand piano? A pizza oven? A four person hot tub with LED light show and dancing waters?"

Harold walked up to the hot tub, "How do I win this?" He asked excitedly. "My fair Leshawna loves a hot tub."

"Well, ese, I'm sorry to disappoint," Valeria began as she shrugged her shoulders. "These are our quarters. Just the hosts, no contestants." She added, gesturing between her and Chris for emphasis.

"And they're off limits! Clear?" Chris asked, glaring at the ginger.

"Crystal…" Harold said, disappointed.

Sierra bounced up to them, smiling brightly. "Oh, Chris. I heart your limits!" She said, hands clasped giddily in front of her chest.

"Something tells me we'll need a restraining order." Manu commented into the earpiece, and Valeria couldn't agree more.

"And that's pretty much it." Chris said as they walked back to the dining area. "I skipped the cargo hold and galley, but I'm sure you'll find those exciting destinations later, when I accidentally lock you in them." He said mischievously, drawing quotation marks with his fingers.

The plane shook as it started moving, sending Bridgette tumbling off her stool and into Alejandro's arms. "Señorita, are you okay?" He asked, eyebrows furrowing in faux concern.

"Is the earth moving?" Bridgette asked dazedly.

"Nope." Izzy answered, "We are. Whoo!" She cheered, throwing her arms up.

"One more thing." Chris interjected, lifting a finger in the air. "I'm sure you remember a little something called the Elimination Ceremony? Takes place right in there, my friends." He said, leading them to the far end of the plane, which the crew had decorated with large wooden tiki heads and lights. "If you don't received a barf bag full of airline issue peanuts—"

"I got a peanut allergy, yo."

"You don't have to eat them." Valeria pointed out in a polite attempt to shut him up and save him from Chris' temper, but the boy just kept talking.

"It's more like, a sensitivity?"

"—you'll be forced to take the drop of shame." Chris continued, his smile dropping into a annoyed frown.

"Okay, I just don't like—"

Chris gave up and grabbed the kid by the front of his hoodie. "Kind of like this!" He exclaimed, promptly tossing Ezekiel out the door.

Valeria resisted the urge to groan and held onto the doorway as she poked her head out. Ezekiel was relatively unharmed, just bruised and disheveled. "We'll send a consolation basket!" She called out, then shut the door. "Each eliminated contestant will get one delivered." Valeria told the rest of the remaining contestants, smoothing down the strands of hair that got tousled by the wind.

"Aw, that's so nice!" Lindsay gasped, smiling.

"Definitely not Chris' idea." Duncan scoffed.

Valeria pointed at him, "Correcto."

Alejandro smiled at her, "Is there any chance we could get you as a consolation, princesa?" He asked, and Valerica chuckled.

"Lo siento, mi rey, losers just get a basket." She replied, her mouth lifting into a smirk, "Ya veremos si ganas."

Disarmed and mildly flustered, Alejandro looked awestruck, his eyes widening along with his smile.

"Valeria…" Manu warned.

— Valeria confessional —

"What? Está lindo el condenado." She shrugged, knowing her brother would see the footage.

— end confessional —

"Every second, we're getting closer to adventure and further from Mama…" DJ lamented, resting his cheek on his fist.

"Cody Emmett Jameson Anderson." Sierra started as she sat in front of the brown haired boy. "I also happen to know that your birthday is April first. You're my very own April fool." She said, infatuated, leaning into her hands as she stared at Cody.

Valeria turned to the camera crew, "Call the police," She mouthed.

Ding!

Chris stepped into the room, wearing a suit and a black tophat. "Whenever you hear that friendly little bell, it's musical number time!" He exclaimed cheerfully. "So, let's hear it."

"But what are we supposed to sing?" Courtney asked, confused.

"You have to make it up as you go." Chris replied. "Wouldn't be challenging otherwise, now, would it?"

Thus came their first song of the series. It wasn't that bad, Valeria had to admit. They were a bit off-key, though they managed to make rhymes and decent lyrics. Gwen and Duncan, however, refused to participate.

Chris waved a stack of papers at the pair, "Anyone care for a copy of season three's rules? Because, in order to escape instant elimination—"

Bridgette took it from his hand, making Chris frown, "All contestants must sing in each show!" She sang.

Courtney stormed up to her boyfriend. "Duncan, do it! Let's go!"

Cody clasped his hands together, gazing at Gwen imploringly. "Gwen, sing it! Don't go!"

"Well, I don't want to go home…" Gwen trailed off before taking a deep breath and rising from her seat. "Come fly with us, come fly with us! Come and fly with us!"

Now that the girl had sung, Courtney turned to Duncan again. "Duncan, come on. Please?!" She begged.

Duncan sighed heavily, "This suuuucks!" He ended the song.

"Yeah!"

The PA system turned on with a squeal. "Enough singing, fruitcakes. Strap yourselves in. We are now beginning our descent into Egypt." Chef informed them before continuing in a grumble, "Musical numbers, worst idea ever! Chris is such an id— hey, Manny, why is the PA light still on?"

Manu's loud laughter was heard from afar before the PA turned off again. Valeria slapped a hand over her mouth and turned to look at her future brother-in-law.

Chris glared at the camera, "We'll be right back."

— Manu and Valeria confessional —

The Ochoa siblings clung on to each other as they laughed loudly in the cockpit, tears streaming down their faces. Behind them, Chef shook his head.

— end confessional —

Valeria fanned herself with a blue feathered fan, now dressed in a long white dress that became sheer once it reached her legs, a golden belt wrapped around her waist and a pair of golden sandals. There was a circlet on her head and a golden usekh collar over her collarbones. She was standing under the shade provided by an umbrella, aware but not surprised at the eyes watching her body. Hey, she was getting paid to flaunt her assets in designer clothing, after all.

"You guys ready for a little fun?" Chris asked cheerfully, dressed in his own Pharaoh costume and held up on a throne by four interns. "Wow! It's a scorcher out here, huh?" He asked rhetorically, taking a noisy sip of his cold beverage. "I call today's challenge… Pyramid Over Under!"

Leshawna huffed, setting a hand on her hip. "An eleven hour flight, Chef's in-flight cuisine, a forced musical number, and now we've got a challenge?!" She asked in disbelief.

Chris just smiled wider as the interns set him down. "Don't you love this game?"

Valeria shrugged her shoulders at the contestants, "Win the challenge and you get first class!" She reminded them. "Cold beverages of your choice, professionally cooked meals, comfortable reclining chairs, and many other privileges." She listed off and saw the determination on their faces grow.

They quickly gathered at the starting line, and Harold wiped some of the sweat sliding down his face with his sleeves. "It's like we're being cooked in a giant oven." He stated miserably.

His girlfriend rolled her eyes, "It might help if you weren't dressed like a giant baked potato." Leshawna pointed out.

Harold put a hand to his foil hat, offended. "Aluminum foil means the aliens can't read your brains. It's a real problem out here." He explained.

Chris hit the cymbal together, making all conversations cease, and passed off the instrument to Valeria. "Man, that was satisfying." He chuckled, then turned to the contestants. "Alright. Pyramid Over Under means you choose how you'll get to the finish line, either over or under the pyramid. Got it?" Everyone nodded their heads. "Ready… set—"

"Wait up, yo! You guys! Wait up!" Ezekiel caught up to them, and Valeria turned to the camera crew with raised eyebrows. They shrugged, and she sighed. The boy marched up to Chris, pointing a finger at him, "I told you I wasn't gonna lose this time, eh!"

"Didn't we leave you in, like, Halifax or Whitehorse or whatever?" Chris asked, both confused and irritated at the interruption.

"It's called 'landing gear', homey." Ezekiel bragged, "I climbed it and hid with the cargo."

"Impressive." The host admitted.

"And illegal." Valeria added from her spot.

"And you're still out." Her future brother-in-law continued.

"No way!" Ezekiel cried stubbornly. "I'm in it to win it! Word!"

Chris sighed, "Hey, it's your funeral. Can someone call Manuel, please? Thanks." Valeria passed him the cymbal and gave him a thumbs up. "Anyways, set…! Go!" He crashed the instrument together, and the group went dashing to the pyramid. She dialed her brother and put the phone on speaker.

"Dígame, mi Valedora." Manu said brightly upon picking up her call.

"We have a bit of an issue with a stowaway." She informed him dutifully. "One homeschooled Canadian. About five foot six, misogynistic, never takes off that awful beanie— can't miss him."

"What?" He asked, confused, and they heard the clicking of a keyboard as he checked the footage. "Seriously? These gringos... I'll call security."

"It's fine," Chris said dismissively, "I added him back."

"But the paperwork, mi vida..." Her brother complained, and Valeria got him off speaker to pass the phone to Chris.

"Relax, babe, it's fine. Listen, I'll make it up to you…" She vaguely heard Chris try to appease him as he walked away, which meant she was left hosting the show until they were done. That could take a while. Honestly, for a couple that was going to get married soon, they sure flirted like a couple of teenagers.

— Valeria confessional —

"Don't get me wrong," She began as she checked her nail polish, "I like the attention, but, unfortunately, I don't get paid to play host." Valeria pointed out, then stared at the camera pensively for a few seconds before shrugging. "Meh, at least I have snacks and a nice view."

— end confessional —

Valeria watched Alejandro effortlessly climb the pyramid steps, the muscles in his arms rippling under his tan skin. A very nice view, indeed. The other girls seemed to agree as they stared up at him with awestruck eyes. He took this as his chance to assist them up the pyramid, ensuring their trust and upsetting Tyler. Courtney on the other hand was being a pain in the ass, shouting orders at Duncan and Gwen. Yikes. A yelp caught her attention, and Valeria watched as Tyler fell down all the steps he had climbed.

She hissed in sympathy, "Medic!" Valerica called out.

Moving on, she watched the group inside the pyramid through the feed. Chris didn't normally ask for permission for anything, but Manu had once again interfered. His team reserved the tourist spot for the day and anything valuable was swapped out for props. A good thing, too, because DJ shattered the mummified dog prop after trying to pet it, thus activating some of the — hopefully harmless — booby traps.

Valeria let the makeup and wardrobe team make some adjustments before moving to stand next to the finish line. Harold, DJ and Leshawna ran out of the pyramid and stopped to catch their breath. She clapped her hands, "Good work, guys!"

"We're first? We're first!" DJ realized, throwing his arms up in the air as he cheered.

Leshawna wiped the sweat from her brow and looked around. "Where's Chris?" She asked suspiciously.

"Dunno." Probably making out with his boyfriend. "I'm your host until he comes back." Valeria tried not to laugh at the relieved expressions on their faces. "Please stand behind the number one." She instructed.

"In Egyptian, it's waahid." Harold piped in.

Valeria stared at him for a few seconds. "Cool." She said, not knowing what else to reply to that.

Thankfully, Bridgette, Lindsay and Alejandro arrived, riding on a sign. "Ladies," He smiled as he stepped off, gesturing to the finish line, "after you."

"Deténgase ahí, mi rey." Valeria stopped him before he could join the group, patting his muscular chest. "There will be three teams this season. Bridgette and Lindsay round out the first team, and Alejandro is the first member of the second team." She explained, and the young man caught her hand between his.

"You make a great host, princesa." He flirted, and Valeria chuckled.

"Thank you, and you make a wonderful player. Now, team number two." She said, taking her hand out of his and waving him off. He smiled charmingly and stepped away to wait for the other members of his team.

"In Egyptian, it's itnein." Harold informed them proudly.

"Awesome." Valeria replied tersely before turning to Alejandro again. "If it's any consolation, you get…" She gestured to Tyler as he stumbled off the final steps, face planting into the sand. Alejandro pursed his lips.

"Uh, Tyler, is it?" He asked.

"Yup! And you also get…" Owen and Noah ran out of the pyramid, screaming at the top of their lungs. Valeria patted his cheek, "Good luck."

"That's…" Alejandro looked at his team and forced a smile onto his face, "wonderful!"

— Alejandro confessional —

"¡Qué palta!" He screamed, waving his arms in frustration, "Un grupo de malditos incompetentes, hijos de perra—" Alejandro covered his face, muffling his cursing. "Princesa, why?!"

— end confessional —

Sierra ran out of the pyramid with Cody thrown over her shoulder, soon followed by Heather. "We did it!" She cheered, the poor boy bouncing against her shoulder as she jumped. "Group hug!" Sierra pulled him into her arms, smothering him into her chest. "Come on, Heath, you too!" Heather rolled her eyes, but forced a smile and complied.

"Okay, hugging time is over!" Valeria interrupted, feeling a bit of second hand embarrassment. "Sierra, you're the final member of team number two. Heather and Cody, you're on team three."

"In Egyptian, it's talaata!"

"Amazing, Harold." Valeria gave him a thumbs up, a tad fed up with his constant interruptions. Now she knew how Chris felt.

"Uh, where's Gwen?" Cody asked, before recoiling when everyone looked over at him. "N-Not like I care. Just curious…" He fumbled.

As if to answer his questions, they heard Gwen shout something at Courtney from the top of the pyramid, who snapped something back at her. Valeria sighed and took the megaphone from an intern, "Hola, hello? We need to get a move on. Also…"

Ding!

"We have a musical reprise scheduled." Valeria pointed out, smiling.

Even from a distance, she could see the annoyance on Duncan's face. "It's one song per episode!" He yelled down at her.

"Chris makes the rules, not me. Sorry." She said unapologetically. "And this is a reprise, not a new song. Whoever doesn't sing gets eliminated immediately." Valeria reminded him, and Duncan threw his arms up.

"That's fine! I'm done with this shit!" He declared and started his descent without any regard to the two girls that were tied to him. Duncan marched up to Valeria, taking out his pocket knife to slice the rope from his waist. "Three hours of these two squawking on this damn pyramid in this damn heat, and Chris wants us to sing? I don't think so."

"Says so in your contract, but if you don't want to sing…" Valeria trailed off with a shrug, "You want sour or sweet candy in your basket?"

"Sour's fine." Duncan huffed, brushing himself off before turning on his heels to storm to the plane, cursing under his breath.

— Duncan confessional —

"Okay, now I feel kinda bad for yelling at Valeria like that." He admitted, rubbing the back of his head. "She was just doing her job. It's not her fault Chris sucks. But I don't sing."

— Valeria confessional —

"I don't blame Duncan, but really, did anyone here read their contracts?" She asked in disbelief. "It says so in bold letters, mi gente, come on! Do they just sign it blindly?!"

— end confessional —

Izzy ran out of the pyramid, carrying a person wrapped in yellowish bandages. Team two cried out in horror at the sight, leaving Alejandro confused. "You're carrying the undead!" Noah exclaimed, pointing at the 'mummy'.

"Cool!" Izzy grinned wildly, skidding to a stop to look at the person in her arms. "Bite me and I can be your undead friend, like Frankenstein!"

The mummy squirmed out of her hold, tearing the bandages from its face to reveal a disheveled Ezekiel. "Thanks for all the help, ya knobs!" He called out to Noah and Owen.

Valeria gave the camera a look before recomposing herself. "Izzy, you're on team—"

"Talaata!"

"Thank you, Harold!" She said in irritation, setting her fists on her hips. "Ezekiel, since we're one man short, join team one— Harold, I swear to god!" The boy quickly shut his mouth. "Anyways, you all have three minutes to decide the names of your teams."

She heard Chris' familiar cackle as he came over, adjusting his headpiece. Oh yeah, he was definitely making out with Manuel. "Not so easy, is it?" He asked her, offering a cup of iced lemon tea.

"You got a little something..." Valeria gestured to the red spot behind his ear, and the host quickly adjusted some of his hair to cover the forming bruise with a pleased smile on his face. "Que asco."

Chris snorted, "Like you weren't ogling Mister Latino over here."

She took a sip from her drink, "Guilty." Valeria said without an ounce of shame.

"We got it!" Team one called for their attention. "Team Victory!"

Team three followed suit, "Team Amazon!"

Meanwhile, team two was still arguing amongst themselves. Sierra raised her hand in the air, "Got it! Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot!" The rest of the team whirled to face her with expressions of disgust and disbelief, but the damage was already done. No take backsies.

"Alright!" Chris grinned, giving her a thumbs up, "Best team name ever!"

Valeria covered her mouth.

— Valeria and Manu confessional —

They hung off each other for support as they laughed. "Did you see Alejandro's face?" Manu cackled.

"Priceless!" Valeria wheezed.

— end confessional —

"Here are your rewards." Valeria spoke after composing herself. "Team Amazon, you win a camel."

Izzy clapped happily. "Whoo!"

"Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Really Hot—" Chris began excitedly.

"I think there were only four really's." Alejandro interjected, looking displeased.

"—you win a goat!" Said goat charged at Tyler, headbutting him in the stomach. The lanky boy tumbled painfully to the ground.

Valeria sighed, "Medic!"

"And Team Victory," Chris continued, unbothered, "here you go!" He tossed them a stick.

"So the guys who came in last get a camel, and we get a stick?" Leshawna asked in irritation.

"Everything will be explained—" Valeria began.

"If I feel like it." Her future bother-in-law interjected with a mischievous smile. The contestants groaned in near unison, all complaining about how they preferred Valeria. Chris shushed them and turned to the camera, "Next time, right here, on Total Drama World Tour…!"

"You suck!"

Here are the translations of the Spanish in the chapter (not Google translated since it's my first language) and the origins of the slangs used (which will be Mexican, Peruvian and Spanish - since, aside from confirming he's Spanish, Alejandro implies he was raised in Peru)

TRANSLATIONS
cuñado: brother-in-law
Pasión de Corazones: Passion of Hearts (not actually a real series, more like a parody of a few novelas)
los quiero: another version of "I love you"
guerita: a fair haired girl (Mexican slang)
ese: bro, dude, homey (Mexican slang)
Lo siento, mi rey: I'm sorry, my king.
Está lindo el condenado: The damn guy is cute.
Dígame, mi Valedora: Tell me, my Valedora (nickname, meaning protector)
mi vida: my life (term of endearment)
Deténgase ahí, mi rey: Stop right there, my king.
¡Qué palta!: How embarassing! (Peruvian slang)
Un grupo de malditos incompetentes: A group of fucking incompetents
hijos de perra: sons of bitches
mi gente: guys/my people
Que asco: gross

To the readers that don't know Spanish: don't be afraid to tell me if I missed any translations! I'll gladly explain what it means. Google translate is not a trust worthy source since you need context for different Spanish words, which also goes for literally any other language.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed and tell me what you think!