Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Chapter 1: Alone
I was on the verge of just giving up already. My heart was back in Forks where I'd left it a little over nine months ago. I should've never left her like that. I never should've lied to her.
Yet she believed the lie so easily. I never could understand why she believed the lie so easily. After all the times that I've told her I loved her how could she let one word break her faith in me?
The last nine months had been pure hell. I know everyone is worried about me. Especially Carlisle and Esme. I'd become a shell of my former self. I'd lost all interest in everything. I felt like I was breaking into a million pieces. There were times where I just wanted to curl up into a ball and hide from the world forever.
Nothing had been the same since we left Forks all those months ago. Bella had become such an integral part of our family. Leaving her hadn't been easy on anyone. Carlisle and Esme had lost a daughter. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett had lost a sister. Even Rosalie missed Bella although she would never admit it in a million years.
At the time leaving had felt like the right decision. After Bella's disaster of an eighteenth birthday party I couldn't keep risking her life like that.
Yet my mind kept wondering back to the idea of going back. Just to see her. Just to check on her and see how she was doing. I would be foolish to believe that she would take me back after everything I did to her.
Could I satisfy myself with that though? Would just seeing her be enough? Yes. If she was happy and well I wouldn't approach her. She deserved love and happiness even if it wasn't with me.
What if I found her unhappy? What if I discovered that she'd been just as miserable and depressed as I'd been these last nine months? Maybe then and only then I would talk to her. When she rejected me I would accept it.
I was just about to book my plane ticket when someone rang the doorbell. Odd. It couldn't be the rest of the family. They weren't due back from their hunting trip for several more hours. A hunting trip they had begged me to go on with them. I'd turned them down even though my eyes were nearly pitch black. I never really kept myself adequately fed these days.
The doorbell rang a third time. I listened carefully. The frantic beating heart told me it was a human. His thoughts were a little jumbled. But I did hear that he was from the state of Washington.
Curious as to what this possibly could be about I went to answer the door. Who was this man? How did he find my family?
A young man in his twenties was standing there on the porch when I opened the door. "May I speak to Edward Cullen?"
"That's me. Who are you? What is this abou?"
"My name is Mr. Lopez and I'm from the Washington State Department of Children,Youth, and Families. May I see some form of identification first before I continue?"
As I was getting my ID I realized something. It wasn't just one human's heartbeat I was hearing. I could hear two more heartbeats.
Now I really didn't understand what was going on. I hurried back as fast as I could at a rate that wouldn't scare the human. I showed him the ID. My fake ID was so real looking that he didn't question it.
"Okay Mr. Cullen. Do you know who Isabella Marie Swan is?"
"How do you know Bella?" the man took two steps back when he heard the threatening tone in my voice. I had to reign my emotions in.
"Mr. Cullen I have something here that you need to see if you'll follow me to my car,"
The two other heartbeats were coming from the backseat of the car. When he opened the back door I was shocked by what I saw. Two babies, a boy and a girl, strapped into car seats. The boy looked a lot like me. A head full of messy bronze hair and green eyes like I did as a human. While the girl reminded me of Bella. Those chocolate brown eyes.
"Mr. Lopez can you please explain what's going on?"
"Mr. Cullen these our your babies. Bella gave birth to them a week ago just before she died. She instructed me to-"
"Wait?" Did I hear that correctly? Did he say that my Bella was dead? No. That couldn't be true. That couldn't be true. "Bella is dead?" my voice shook with emotion. Please don't let it be true.
"I'm sorry to tell you this Mr. Cullen but Bella died not long after giving birth. But her final wish was for us to find you. She said that you deserved to know the truth,"
For the first time in a century I felt myself going weak at the knees. This couldn't be true. This had to be some kind of nightmare that I would wake up from.
I heard one of the babies crying. Mr. Lopez removed the crying boy from the car seat.
"Mr. Cullen would you like to hold your son?"
My son. No that was impossible. I couldn't have children. I was a vampire. It was impossible. If it were possible for us to reproduce Rosalie would have found a way by now.
Yet a part of me was drawn to the baby boy in front of me and the baby girl inside of the car. I reached out and took the boy into my arms. I was surprised by his reaction. Most babies instinctually want nothing to do with us. Babies always screamed their tiny little lungs out during the rare instances we interacted with human babies. But this baby boy's reaction was the exact opposite. He calmed down quickly. He was trying to snuggle into my cold hard chest.
"How did Bella die?"
"She was diagnosed with leukemia a month after she found out she was pregnant. She refused to get treatment because she didn't want to risk hurting the babies. From what she told us she knew that she would die soon after giving birth. That's why she contacted us,"
"What about her father Charlie Swan?"
"Mr. Swan died in a car accident several months ago. Bella was insistent on us finding you,"
"It's just that it's impossible. I'm infertile. I can't have children,"
He shook his head. "Bella was very insistent that you were the father. Your name is on their birth certificates. If I wasn't sure about this I wouldn't have tracked you down and flown across the country. But if you don't want them that's fine. We'll put them in foster care-"
"No," I said a bit too harshly. "I will take them,"
"That little guy's name is EJ. Edward Junior. and your daughte's name is Renesmee,"
"Quite a mouthful I know,"
"It's unique. I like it," I said. I saw the baby girl again and she reminded me of Bella so much that it caused me pain. He handed her over to me and I held onto both babies. Both were very much at ease with me. It was strange.
Looking at them I was brought back to that night so many months ago. It was the night before Bella's 18th birthday. I was trying to get Bella to tell me what she wanted for her birthday.
"You," she said. "The only thing I want is you,"
"I'm already yours," I was confused. Didn't she know that already?
She smiled suspiciously. It wasn't until she'd started undoing the buttons on my shirt that I realized what she really meant.
"No," I pushed her away quickly.
She looked sad. "You said you'd give me whatever I wanted,"
"I thought you would say something reasonable. Not something that would risk killing you,"
"But this is what I want. This all I want. Please Edward. Let's just give this a try,"
It was hard, impossible, to resist giving her what she wanted. Even though it was against my no sex before marriage virtue I wanted it to. The two desires wrestled with each other inside of me. Eventually I gave in. I was very careful not to hurt Bella. It wasn't easy at all but it was the best night of my existence.
That was a little over nine months ago. Now I was holding two babies in my arms. Babies that could possibly be my own.
"Well I better get going Mr. Cullen or I'm going to miss my flight home. If you have anymore questions here's my card. Oh and here's some things you might need like bottles, formula, diapers, wipes. Typical baby stuff,"
Typical baby stuff. There was nothing typical about this situation. He left after giving me everything I needed.
Both babies were falling asleep in my arms. My babies. It was impossible but I knew Bella. She wouldn't lie and EJ looked so much like me.
What was I going to tell the rest of the family? I'd never told anyone just how intimate Bella and I had gotten. As far as they were concerned our relationship never physically progressed past a few chaste kisses. If they knew just how far we'd gone...
I would deal with that later though. Right now I had two babies that needed my help. For I had already begun to love them.