Everybody Wants to Be My Enemy Chapter 1: Everybody, a Naruto + League of Legends Crossover fanfic

A/N: *Sees the lack of Arcane x Naruto crossovers on the site*

Fine. I'll do it myself again! Also...I know jack all about League of Legends. Arcane is LITERALLY me only just dipping a toe into it. Please don't eviscerate me. Also, some cheeky prick -you know who you are!- introduced me to Fiddlesticks. Nope, nope, nope fuck that shit, terrified me right and proper.

Because no one else would do it, I suppose.

As ever, the Embers rule remains.

If folks don't like this story? Poof! Gone! Deleted for keeps! That's no joke, folks. I'm so busy these days; basically, I don't have time off. Not anymore. My free time is limited and as such, I can't afford to focus on something folks don't like. Reviews keep me writing in these times, and keep the daily updates flowing. Silence...silence only hurts. I hate having to beg for feedback, but without it...well, it feels like I'm not making an impact.

As ever, I own no references, quotes, themes or memes.

"Everyone wants to be my enemy? Why is that?

But I can be such a good friend.

So...don't be my enemy.

Well? Whaddya say?

...aw, why not...?"

Are You an Enemy?

Powder was a brave girl.

At least she liked to think so. Not as brave as Vander or Vi, but still, pretty brave. It was the little things, you know? Bit by bit. Breath by breath. Baby steps. You had to crawl before you learned to walk, and walk before you figured out how to run. So once again, baby steps.

"Thanks for the help, kiddo."

But this? Nope, nope, nope! Wrong step! She clamored back until her back hit an alleyway wall; even then she kept pushing against it, eyes bulging, chest heaving as her doom approached. She'd bumped into him on the street entirely by chance; seen him slumped against a wall and tossed him a few coins. Now she was regretting it. Mylo and Claggor would give her hell for this, she just knew it. Nevermind VI...!

"I'm a little lost." the one-armed man laughed as he scratched the back of his head. "Any chance you could give me directions?"

Powder shook her head. "Nu-uh. Don't know nothin' at all."

Whiskered cheeks dimpled in a small smile. "You think I'm a bad guy, don'tcha?"

Uh...crazy homeless hobo guy leaning against the wall with next to nothing to his name? Pretty sure he wasn't right in the head.

Looked young, too. Not an adult. Not really.

And yet for all his injuries and tattered clothes, he looked utterly at his ease. Somehow that made her even more nervous. On the streets it was confident ones you needed to watch out for; the laughing ones, the smiling ones. The lunatics and addict would do terrible things to you, but it was the sane ones that were the real danger. Their kind always had a plan. Those eerie bright blue eyes and wild hair didn't help. He must've seen some semblance of anxiety on her face too; because he lowered his good arm.

"Sorry, did I scare you?"

Ponder flinched a little and shied away.

"Relax, I'm not gonna hurt ya." Abruptly his brow furrowed as he looked away. "Oi. I'm getting to it, Kurama." turning his face aside he palmed one cheek and shook his head. "Lay off."

What the heck was Kurama? Weird guy. Was he talking to himself? Only the crazies down here did that. Maybe he was worse than he thought. Still he might leave her alone if she just answered her questions. Her eyes flicked to the other side of the street, seeking safety.

"Do you know where the Elemental Nations are?" he asked at length. "I'm tryin' ta get back to them."

"Nations? Elemental?" Powder wrinkled her nose and blinked him. "The heck're those?"

That whiskered visage closed down.

"You too, huh?" His face went curiously blank as he regarded her. "Everyone's given me that same damn look lately." he tittered for a moment before he shook his head. "Feels like everyone wants to be my enemy these days." Quick as a a flash, his smile returned tenfold. "Well, you gave me enough for a meal, so I'll give ya something in return." He pushed himself upright. "Whatcha want in return?"

...what?"

As she looked on, the blond boy summoned a strange black staff to his good hand.

"What. Do you. Want?"

His question floored Powder; if only because it had been so very long since a stranger asked what she wanted. What did she want? The question pounced upon Powder and caught her flatfooted. She knew the answer, of course. It was simple. She wanted to be useful. Strong, like the other kids. Fast enough to help, brave enough to take risks. She wanted her blasted bombs to work! But most of all...!

She told him.

He listened intently.

Not a word was said. Not one.

"Is that all?" At length, the crazy blond blinked. "You want to protect your family. Alright." his head bobbed." I can do something about that. But first...

His stomach growled a little.

"Is there anywhere around her that serves a decent meal?"

Powder gulped once and dared a tentative smile. "I...might know a place...

(.0.0.0.)

Vander had made a career of reading people.

Make no mistake, his fighting days were done and behind him. He could still scrap with the best of them mind you, but these days he fought with words, not his fists. Hound of Zaun they called him. He'd been a terror. A killer of killers, slayer of men

But this fellow?

He took one look at the man standing his doorway and saw a fox. Both a trickster and pranksters, a smiling face that hid great power beneath a cheery facade. He wasn't even looking his way; wide blue eyes took in the pub and those within, regarding it all as he gaped like a fish. And yet that was undoubtedly Powder holding his hand as she tugged him along, chatting to him as only a child could.

Powder, who usually knew better than this. Powder, who'd just made a new friend.

Vander's brow shot into his hairline. "Well, I'll be...

A new player had entered the game.

A/N: Eh, this chapter was short and sweet, but it conveys the image I was going for. Next will be longer...if this continues.

Ask yourself this.

What happens when Naruto's the mad one?

Aaaand with that little inquiry, I'll leave you to the previews.

And there we are. Once more, the Embers rule remains, unfortunate as it seems.

Must protect the kids. That is all.

Right then, as ever, Reviews are love, Reviews are Life.

Reviews keep me safe from any and all strife.

So in the immortal words of Atlas...

...review, Would You Kindly?

Every bit helps out!

(FUTURE! Previews?)

"But you only have one arm! I mean, you can't really do much with one arm, but...

Naruto raised his stub and a golden claw of chakra sprouted from it. "Wanna run that by me again?"

Her jaw clicked open. "That's wicked. Teach me!"

"Yeah, this is the one thing I can't teach or give ya, sorry...

She is not a jinx. Call her that again and I'll break your everything!"

Fiddlesticks.

Nope, fuck that! Not having it!

Vi wrinkled her nose. "You smell funny."

Naruto tittered a little. "That's all you have to say?"

Vander whistled at the gaping hole he'd left in the wall.

"Not bad." he thumbed his chin, considering it. "Bit sloppy, though. Who taught you how to throw a punch?"

"No one, really." Naruto rolled his good shoulder. "I'm mostly self taught...

"Hand over the cloak, cripple."

They were robbing him. Really? This was actually happening?

A sigh trickled into the air. "Have it your own way. Kurama? Hand over the cloak."

His body blazed gold. Shadows flashed in the alley. Limbs snapped. His would be robbers screamed.

"Silco, was it?" Naruto crossed one leg over the other. "I hear you've got ideas. Lets talk...

...I have nothing to say you."

A shadow clone pulled up a chair.

"No," the original smiled, "I think you do."

"You misunderstand. You're all going to get along, one way or another."

He lifted them by their shirts.

"Do you understand?"

"Kill them!"

...no. No one dies here today.

A demon stalked through the smoke.

R&R~!