Lost AUTHOR: Dark Will (screwin_evil@hotmail.com)

HOMEPAGE: y. God, how I wish it would all stop.

But no one's here.

Nobody but me and the millions of thousands of tiny voices trying to drive me insane, just like them. And they're close to breaking me. And they know it. So they are having a party, feasting on my crazy flesh, which is a part of my crazy body, that is controlled by my crazy mind.

Crazy, crazy, crazy.

I feel so bad. So dirty. I'm unclean!

So bad, so bad, so bad.I'm just covered in these things and they won't get off, no matter how ard I try to remove them. They're nasty little buggers, too. Sharp, needle-like teeth, munching away in my unclean body.

Make them go away. Somebody, please find me.

I can't get out. I can't hear! It's so noisy.They're doing this on purpose. They don't want her to hear me. They know that she will save me and kill all of the filthy little monsters and make me clean again, so they are doing all they can to keep her away.

Buffy, don't fall for it.

Please, know that I'm in here, waiting for you.

Because I'm not as strong as you are.

So I wait, and try to cling to my last strand of sanity.

Buffy, I'm scared.

Please, please, please, don't let me go. Please, don't forget about me!

There is no way out, only a way in.

The noise, it's so loud, it's numbing my senses.

I can't touch, I can't taste, and I can't see.

But I can still hear them.

And I can still feel them taking turns to rape my mind, turning it from what it was into. whatever the hell it is becoming.

I feel so dirty, so wrong, so filthy, so bad, so evil. And I want to give in.

God help me, I want to give in, because somehow I know that once they have driven me to insanity, parked the van at the walnut farm and carried me to my padded room, they'll leave me alone in silence.

So, please, hurry. I can't last with these unclean wankers crawling around my brain.

I can't hide anymore. I tried to make myself invisible, to do anything I could so they wouldn't see me, but it didn't work.

I'm pressed into the corner of the room, they're tearing at my festering flesh, and creating boils of poison on my skin, that if even the slightest amount of pressure is put on them, a horrible milky-white puss will seep out, that is covering and protecting the dirty little monster's eggs.

My god, I've become a breading ground the thing that is killing me without ending my life.

I can't move. I'm too ashamed, too weak, too wrong. They're swarming in on me once again.

Get off! Get away! Leave me alone!

That proves it. Nothing worthy could ever attract such disgusting filthy little hell beasts.

God, I'm sorry Buffy. Please forgive me. All I ask is for you not to hate me forever for what I am about to do.

l waited. I kept saying I'd wait a little longer.

But I can't. I'm not strong like you, Buffy.

I love you.

Even in my damning box, where everything in my head is so fucked up that I can't even remember my own name, I know one thing. I will always love you.

The crawling will stop, the noise will stop.it'll all stop soon.