AN- OoP SPOILERS!! MAJOR! Also, hints to slight R/S slash. The beginning of a journey for Remus.

Disclaimer- Not mine. Wish they were. If they were, I wouldn't have to write this because if they were...Sirius would still be alive....*sighs* Here we go!

Remus's head jerked up during the battle. Something. Something wasn't right. Gone. Part of him was dying and there was nothing he could do.

'Remus…' his name floated through his mind so softly, like a summer breeze. 'I love you Moony…remember me. Remember me always. Goodbye.'

"SIRIUS!!!!!!" Remus yelled, turning just in time to see Sirius's feet disappearing though the veil. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" The word ripped through his throat almost hard enough to rip it. "no…" he whispered softly, the first tear of many slowing dripping down his cheek, splattering on the cold black floor below. 'Not Siri…'

Remus's pain lasted only a moment before his emotions hardened to ice. His head had dropped in that moment, and in that instant it shot back up at the death eater in front of him. He no longer cared who he was attacking. They had taken away his Sirius, his star light, his heart and soul. And they were going to PAY.

The death eater in front of him stumbled backwards as Remus raised his wand, stone cold eyes dead to the world.


That night Remus cleaned out his and Sirius's room in the Black house. He already taken Kreacher and dangled him from the ceiling by his ears. Of course Kreacher had quickly escaped, but the pleasure of stringing him up had great diminished Remus's desire to kill him instead. Though now that his fury had subsided, all that was left was a profound emptiness. He walked slowly up to the room he and Sirius had shared for the past year.

"Gone…" he whispered softly as he sunk to his knees beside the bed. "He's…gone."

As soon as he'd said the words he'd dreaded most aloud, he could no longer hold back the utter anguish and sorrow that had been building up since that fatal battle. Mrs. Weasly found him there that evening, sobbing into Sirius's favorite black t-shirt. She quietly set a tray of dinner on the table beside him before leaving.


The next morning Remus awoke still clutching the shirt, his eyes so swollen from crying that he could hardly see. He searched the bed stand beside him for his wand, disregarding the food there. When he found it, he tapped his eyes and muttered a small spell. The puffiness in his eyes dissipated, but the haunted shadows still lingered there.


Remus spun around to see Phineas in one of the pictures behind him.

"Is it true?" He asked, his voice quavering slightly. Remus nodded slowly, fresh tears springing to his eyes. He hadn't realized the old headmaster held any compassion for his great great grandson at all.

"What happened?" he asked slowly.

"He…he…" Remus stumbled over his words, trying to find a way to say out loud what he'd been trying to hide from himself. "He went through the Veil in the Department of Mysteries" he said, almost whispering.

To Remus's surprise, Phineas's eyebrows lifted in mild shock.

"Was he dead already when he went through?"

Remus shuddered at the thought of Sirius being dead, but managed to shake his head.

"No, Lestrange stunned him. He fell through." Remus stated. Another tear was slowing making its way down his cheek where it would soon drip onto Sirius's shirt.

Phineas smiled- a reaction that earned him a glare from Remus, a scary experience, given the werewolf's current state of mind. "What is there to smile about?" He growled in a low, dangerous voice.

"Oh, don't look so angry young pup." Phineas said gently, "I'm smiling because you have hope."

With that, Remus's head shot up, his eyes now wide. He slowly turned to face the picture on the wall. Phineas looked out of place standing among the dandelions, but there was truth in his eyes. Remus suddenly didn't feel so alone, so, empty. There was hope, a hope he had never dreamed existed. All his hope had died when Sirius went through the veil. But maybe now, now he could live.

"I'll help you," Phineas said, "But right now, you need food." He gestured to the still untouched food on the table. "I believe Molly put a spell on it to keep it warm." Remus sat up and lifted the tray to his lap. Molly had left mashed potatoes, green beans, a large piece of steak, and a glass of butter beer. Remus fell upon food for the first time in two full days. Such a fast was not at all good for a werewolf. "Eat up, young pup." Phineas said gently, and with that he was gone.

Remus had barely finished his meal and was wiping his hands on a napkin when Mrs. Weasly returned. "Remus?" She said gently as she opened the door. She smiled when she saw the empty tray. "I guess that means you're feeling a bit better. Dumbledore is here." She said, walking quickly into the room and picking up the tray. "He wants to talk to you. Oh, and here." She said, pulling a small cloth out of her pocket. It will hold whatever scent you want it to. I know it's not much…but I hope it can help ease the pain a bit."

She smiled and started downstairs with the tray. Remus stared down at the blue cloth in his hands. He quickly ran to the closet and pulled out another of Sirius shirt, stuffed the cloth inside, and tapped it with his wand, muttering a small containing spell as he did so. He smiled; Molly was truly a caring person. He quickly dressed, putting the cloth in his pocket, and went downstairs to see what Dumbledore wanted.


"Good morning Remus." Dumbledore said as Remus walked down the stairs. Remus had to bite back tears. So many times he'd walked into this very kitchen to see Sirius sitting there at the table with a cup of tea reading either the Quibbler or the Daily Prophet. On occasion, he'd even be reading a book. But not this morning, and unless Phineas had something REALLY good, probably never again.

"Hello." Remus said softly, sitting down at the table.

"Breakfast Remus?" Molly asked.

Remus gave her a small smile. "I only just finished dinner. But a cup of tea would be lovely." He looked down at the table, tracing the lines in the wood. "I didn't feel much like eating last night…or all day yesterday for that matter."

"Remus..." Dumbledore began, apparently at a loss for words. "I- I know that this has been incredibly hard on you…you more than anybody, but I have a favor to ask."

"Yes?" Remus asked, lifting his head and looking at Dumbledore. He has sitting in the wooden chair across the table from him, deftly sloshing his tea around in his teacup. "Thank you Molly." He said softly as Mrs. Weasly deposited a similar teacup in front of him.

"You're quite welcome dear." She said before hurrying back to the kitchen.

"Remus, you knew Sirius better than anyone. We all know he meant the world to you. I feel that the world needs to know the truth about that night, the truth about Sirius, and I don't know of a better person to tell it than you. I'd like you to speak at the Hogwarts end of term feast next week."

Remus's eyes widened in surprise. He was quite aware that never in history had anyone spoken at the feast except for the headmaster. "I'd…be honored sir." He said slowly. "In fact, I had a favor to ask of you, if you don't mind."

"By all means, ask. I'll do my best." Dumbledore said, smiling.

"I'd like a portrait of Phineas, if that's possible. He was a great comfort to me this morning, surprisingly, and I'd like to keep in contact with him when I leave here."

"You're not stay here then Remus?" Molly asked from the doorway of the kitchen.

"I'm afraid I can't Molly, this place holds…too many memories. I need some time away from here before I can cope with being surrounded by so many reminders." Remus smiled sadly. It was the truth; he planned to ride Sirius's old motorcycle away from here just as soon as he could.

"I'll see what I can do Remus. I'm sure it can be arranged, providing Finny holds no objections." Dumbledore smiled and stood up. "I must be getting back to the school. The year is not yet over. Thank you for the tea Molly. Remus, I'll see you next week."


Dumbledore arrived back in his office a few minutes later. He sank slowly back into the armchair behind his desk, letting out a huge sigh.

"Phineas." He called quietly.

"Yes, headmaster?" Phineas responded quickly.

"Finny, you're changing. I've just been told that you comforted Remus this morning. That was very kind of you." Dumbledore turned to look at the portrait and gave Phineas an amused smile.

"I...err…well…" Phineas stumbled, obviously embarrassed at being caught so out of character. "I like the pup." He added softly. "And I understand his pain."

"Ah yes," Dumbledore sighed, "you told him of the hope didn't you?"

"Yes." Phineas said quickly. "He deserved to know."

"Are you willing to help him?"

"Err…Yes." Phineas stumbled slightly before the definite answer.

Dumbledore smiled. "Then I suppose it won't surprise you that Remus has asked me for a copy of your portrait."

"Well, actually that does come as a surprise…" Phineas's eyes had gone wide. "But I have no problem with it."

"Really?" Dumbledore's eyebrows lifted slightly.

"I told you I like the pup!" Phineas said quickly.

"Alright then." Dumbledore smiled. "I'll have it arranged." He'd thought it would take a lot more convincing than that.


-The next week-

Dumbledore slowly stood at the front of the Great Hall and clapped his hands. Every eye turned to him. "This year has been marked, once again, by a great loss to the wizarding world. Although you may not have known it, or may not believe it, Sirius Black, whom you all know as an escaped Death Eater, died last week while fighting Lord Voldemort. Now, I know this may be somewhat, shocking. Even with the Ministry's recognizing of his return." He quickly added after the collective gasp that issued from the hall. "However, that is all I can tell you about Sirius. For anything I could say would hardly do him justice. Instead, Remus Lupin, whom many of you remember, is here to speak. I would appreciate your attention as he recounts the deeds of one of his closest friends." Dumbledore bowed and stepped aside, revealing Remus who had been standing behind him.

"As all of you know by now, Lord Voldemort has returned." There were noticeable flinches throughout the hall as he said the name. "He's been back since the end of the Tri-Wizard Tournament last year, but only know has the Ministry of Magic recognized this painful fact. What I regret most is that through that late recognization, the loss of Sirius Black could not be prevented." Here Remus was forced to pause and wipe a tear from his cheek.

"I know many of you remember me from my days here in the position of Defense Against the Dark Arts. You undoubtedly will also recall that I resigned from that position due to wide spread knowledge of my beings a werewolf." Seeing as it had been two years since he had taught at Hogwarts, the first and second years gasped in shock, having been previously unaware of such a thing. "My lycanthropy may not seem to be in any way related to Sirius Black, but indeed it is."

"When I began at Hogwarts, I had been terrified to grow close to anyone because of my condition. In fact, telling an entire congregation of Hogwarts students would seem then to be the stupidest thing imaginable. But the main point was that I had no friends. Such an option did not exist for me, the danger of them hating me was too great. However, I became fairly close to three boys in my year. James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Sirius Black. These three did indeed discover the secret I held in the strictest confidence, and among them, Sirius was the first to accept me and embrace me as a friend, despite everything. These three remained my close friends throughout all my years at Hogwarts. Though I'm sure many of the Professors can recall the havoc we often wreaked." Remus smiled at the memories. Although some of their pranks had been very heartless, such as Snape's memory, others had been downright hysterical. "We could be considered the 'Fred and George's of the 80's." He added with a smirk. "We were inseparable, and remained so."

"Trouble struck just after Hogwarts when it was discovered that Lord Voldemort intended to kill James, his wife Lily, and their young son Harry. They went into hiding, using the Fidelius Charm. They planned to use Sirius as their secret keeper, but without telling anyone, they changed to peter Pettigrew, thinking Sirius was too obvious, being James's best friend." Remus paused and took a deep breath. "Peter betrayed them to Lord Voldemort. Lily and James were killed, but Harry survived, as you all know. Later, Sirius confronted Peter on his own. Sirius was not a murderer."

Just then a Ravenclaw stood up. "How is that possible? He was seen! Pettigrew was blown to bits!"

"That, I'm afraid, is where the hiding of old secrets caused a downfall. Peter, James, and Sirius were animangi. They achieved this in their 5th year in order to…keep me company on full moons." Remus quickly looked down at his feet. "We were very reckless in our days here, far more than we should have been. Peter faked his death by turning into a rat and blowing up the street, cutting off one finger to leave behind. Sirius never murdered anyone, but Peter has betrayed and killed too many to count. He spent the next twelve years as a rat."

"My rat, Scabbers." Ron said distastefully. He still couldn't believe he'd slept in his BED.

Remus smiled and nodded. "Now you know the truth. Sirius spent all those years in Azkaban, holding onto the fact that he was innocent, the one memory that kept him sane, for it was not a happy memory the dementors could take from him. He escaped as an aninmagus, a large black dog. Some of you may have seen him. After the rise of Voldemort, he worked for Dumbledore in secret, leading him to the battle in the Department of Mysteries, where he fell into darkness." Once again, Remus had to stop to dry his eyes. The hope Phineas had spoken of did not make the speech any easier to bear.

"I tell you all this because I, more than anyone, have known and cherished Sirius for most of my life as my dearest companion. Now of the Marauders, as we were called, I am the only one remaining to pay tribute to his memory. I pray that you remember my words, remembering what a truly great man was lost last week. Lost fighting on the side of the light. The time will probably soon come when each of you will choose a side to fight for as well. I pray that you remember all that has been said, all that has been taught, and the simple fact that good will always triumph, no matter how long it may take. Live in freedom while you may, the day will soon come when you cannot. I must leave now, this place holds too many memories." With that, Remus left Hogwarts, and those who listened, could hear the unmistakable sound of a motorcycle racing quickly away.

-will be continued soon-

-Please R&R! It makes me write faster...-