Opening A/N: This…is a bit different than what I usually do. Allow me to explain.
I recently came across a fantastic series by one SpudLord entitled "My Dating Sims Academia." The premise of this series is that Midoria possesses a quirk that makes him see the world as a dating simulator. In addition to being absolutely hilarious, I was quite impressed by the fact that, notwithstanding the premise of the story, the characters do not degenerate into mindless NPCs who will immediately sleep with Midoria should he choose the correct multiple-choice option. I highly recommend this story as an entertaining read.
However…as I was reading SpudLord's work, my mind couldn't help but wander towards a certain…other dating simulator game, which I suppose isn't actually so much a dating simulator as it is a puzzle game featuring demons…but you all probably know what I'm talking about.
Thus was the birth of this parody. Enjoy.
Midoria found himself surrounded by a void...
"What...where am I? What is going on!?" Midoria exclaimed, trying to make sense of the vast ocean of darkness before him. As he gazed about, a text-box appeared in his vision.
[PRESS ANY KEY TO CONTINUE]
Hesitantly, Midoria stretched his hand out before tapping the text box. The moment he did, the young hero instantly recoiled as a hulking, black creature with an exposed brain, and an only vaguely humanoid body appeared from the shadows, the creature leering at him with bulging eyes and a hideous grin.
Nomu, The Amalgamated Villain: Greetings, little hero! Please don't mind me. Tis just I, good old Nomu.
Midoria was about to ask what in the world was going on, when another set of options appeared before him.
Midoria stretched his hand towards the EXIT button, ready to leave this bizarre realm as quickly as possible. But the moment he did...
Nomu, The Amalgamated Villain: Heh. You didn't think it would be THAT easy, did you?
Frustrated, Midoria reached for "NEW GAME" before pressing it, as "CHAPTER SELECT" was completely blurred out. Not surprising since he had not completed any chapter to select.
Nomu, The Amalgamated Villain: Story of the Villaintaker again? Interesting...Do you, by any chance, need a narrator?
"Do I have any choice?" Midoria asked.
Nomu, The Amalgamated Villain: Heh, smart kid. Let's begin then. It will be my pleasure.
You woke up one day with a dream. It was, however, not an easy dream to achieve. "When villain girls are involved, no price is high enough."
Harem full of villain girls.
It would cost you your life.
You said, as you ventured down to Tartarus.
It was, however, not an easy dream to achieve.
"When villain girls are involved, no price is high enough."
Chapter I: Toga, the Bloodlustful Villain
[For your listening pleasure, I recommend "Vitality" by Mittsies]
Midoria had done his fair bit of research on Tartarus prison, holding place of some of the most terrifying villains in history, but even with his dream of one day becoming the greatest hero in the world, he had never expected to actually make a visit to the place.
Nor did he expect to find the once-resilient prison in its current state.
Tartarus was in pure chaos. Everywhere, fires raged, rubble fell, and hopelessly outnumbered prison guards fled, pursued by a torrent of frenzied villains who roamed free of their cells. In the midst of this nightmare, Midoria's vision was blurred by three options hovering in the air right in front of his face.
Sweating, Midoria quickly glanced through his options, trying to waste as little time as possible. He had no idea if what he saw was real or some strange virtual reality, but he wasn't about to risk people's lives on the off chance that some of the world's worst villains really had broken free.
"Exit didn't work last time, and I'm not about to abandon anyone who needs to be saved." He muttered to himself. "Restart is greyed out, likely because I have nothing to restart…is actual time travel a thing in this world? No! Stay focused. My only option at this point is to choose either choose 'Life Advice' or ignore this menu completely and stop these villains!"
Choosing the latter option, he attempted to launch himself towards the nearest villain, but time seemed completely frozen, preventing him from going forward. Gritting his teeth in frustration, Midoria reluctantly chose "Life Advice."
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: You don't have any villains in your harem to draw advice from. But, given that you are new here, I suppose I can throw you a bone. What would you like to know?
Quite a few things, as it turned out, not the least of which being who the mysterious narrator was and how Tartarus had ended up in this state to begin with. But those questions would have to wait for later. Right now, he had more important things to know.
"How do I get out of this time freeze and stop this riot?" Midoria demanded of the strange being.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Let's start with your second question. Its answer might be a little less embarrassing for you. Did you notice, by chance, the little objective on your map?
Glancing down, Midoria noticed what must have been a very simplified "mini-map" of the area. Barrels, robots, and other obstacles were scattered throughout the map, with villains represented by chibi, bobble-headed figures of themselves. Looking closer, Midoria was able to make out a chibi figure of himself at the beginning of the map, a pair of sunglasses on his figure's face. Feeling at his own face, Midoria noticed that, indeed, he was wearing a pair of sunglasses along with his regular hero outfit. Pulling slightly, he attempted to remove the sunglasses from his face, but they wouldn't budge. Shrugging, he glanced back down at the map until he found the "objective," a highlighted figure of a chibi girl in a skirt.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Given the title of this game, you might have surmised that your objective is to add the villain at the end of this hallway to your, as of yet, nonexistent harem.
"Game? What do you mean by game?" Midoria asked. "Is none of this real?"
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Mmmmmm, yes and no. Admittedly, I'm still figuring out some aspects of my "reality warp" quirk, but unless you and the rest of the world want to experience THE BAD ENDING, then I suggest you take this very seriously.
"A reality-warping quirk." Midoria thought to himself. "That would explain how I ended up in this strange situation. But what does this narrator want, and why is it trying to get me to build a harem?"
He voiced his question to the narrator.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: You ask a lot of questions, kid. How about instead of wasting any more time, we just forget about all of that for now and focus on your first question. You wanted to know how to unfreeze time, correct?
Grudgingly, Midoria nodded, realizing that he would need to figure out the rest for himself later on. Right now, he just needed to be able to move.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Did you try pressing, EXIT?
Blushing, Midoria realized he had completely ignored what would have normally been an obvious solution, had it not previously failed him. Sighing, he pressed EXIT and the world immediately unfroze.
Dashing forward, Midoria confronted a hulking villain with writhing tentacles instead of arms before kicking him aside with his shoot style and landing on the floor. The second he landed, spikes suddenly launched from the floor, several ripping his hero costume while more grazed his skin, some drawing blood.
"Since when did Tartarus use spike traps!?" Midoria shouted, his quick reflexes barely enabling him to avoid being skewered. Rushing down the hallway while keeping a careful eye out for more traps, Midoria confronted a thick crowd of villains before knocking them aside with a quick series of punches and kicks. Behind the wall of villains, Midoria confronted a thick metal barrier obstructing his route to the objective. Kicking the barrier four times, Midoria managed to obliterate the heavy metal wall, clearing his path, Midoria took a step forward when…
An enormous bolt of lightning from nowhere suddenly struck Midoria. Flesh sizzled away into oblivion while blood and saliva boiled away into steam in less than a second, leaving a charred skeleton behind. The only mercy was that Midoria was absolutely and completely dead before he even knew it.
And then he was back in the void.
"Wha, huh!? I'm alive!?" Midoria gasped, feeling his body. "How, wha, what happened!?"
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: You ran out of moves.
"What? Moves!?" Midoria gaped.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Yeah, you're kind of limited in how many of those you get per level. As you might have figured out by now, using those all up before you get to the objective is a little…unpleasant. But don't worry, you can always try again.
"But how am I supposed to know how many moves I get?" Midoria protested. "And what even counts as a move?"
The narrator, it appeared, was not interested in helping young Midoria with his query as a new menu immediately appeared in front of his face.
Gritting his teeth, Midoria chose YES before appearing where he had started, nothing he had done from his previous run remaining in the rioting Tartarus prison.
Carefully reviewing the map at the bottom of his vision, Midoria noticed a section at the bottom of the map displaying the number "20." Hesitantly, Midoria took a step forward. In response, his chibi figure on the map moved to another square while the number ticked down to 19. He threw a punch and the number ticked down to 18. Kick. 17.
Nodding, Midoria proceeded with the level. Any time he moved forward a certain distance, it was counted as a move. Attack moves also seemed to be counted as a move. Evidently, the game didn't want him to waste time fighting all the villains on the map. As frustrating as it was, Midoria would have to ignore a few villains in order to make it to the objective in as few moves as possible, which would mean mapping out his route ahead of time.
It was really amazing that the villains were giving him all this time to think about this uninterrupted, now he thought about it. Looking closely, he noticed that, much like their chibi versions on the map, the actual villains were holding their positions, only bobbing back and forth in a fighting pose without actually advancing.
"This place is weird." Midoria thought to himself before resuming his plan. Unfortunately, Midoria could already see that, thanks to his experimentation earlier, he would not have enough moves to get to the objective. Not wanting to get vaporized by a lightning bolt again, he instead pressed the RESTART button.
"Seriously!?" Midoria complained after getting eviscerated again by a massive bolt of electricity.
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: Heh heh heh!
Groaning, Midoria proceeded with his plan, side-stepping the first villain before proceeding down the hallway towards the heavy iron door blocking the objective. His move count steadily ticked down as he punched another villain aside, avoided a spike trap, kicked aside a barrel-
On contact, the barrel exploded, knocking Midoria back and leaving him with several cuts, scrapes, burns, and bruises.
"Of course the barrels explode. Why wouldn't they?" Midoria groaned before resuming the game. Unfortunately, thanks to the unforeseen explosion, he was once again short of enough moves to make it to the end.
"I hate this." Midoria groaned before pressing Restart again.
"Okay! This time, I've got it!" Midoria told himself before proceeding with his plan.
"Oh come on!" Midoria coughed, some of his wounds from the previous run carrying over to his current attempt. "How was I supposed to know green tiles were acid traps!?"
"I am NOT bad at puzzle games! I just have to figure out the rules is all!"
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Nomu, the Amalgamated Villain: You know, you could always choose to chicken out. Maybe take a break? I'm sure THE BAD END isn't really that bad.
Midoria Detroit Smashed the YES button when asked to continue. Roaring in frustration, Midoria charged through the ridiculous maze, expertly dodging traps, while strategically letting himself get caught by a couple in order to shorten his route. Finally, after shoot-styling the door four times, he advanced with the exactly one move he needed to find himself face-to-face with a rather familiar villain, much to his growing displeasure.
Toga, the Bloodlustful Villain: Oh my gosh! You look awful! All those cuts, bruises, and burns, not to mention you're completely covered in blood!
She advanced on Midoria, knife in hand and an amorous expression on her face.
Toga, the Bloodlustful Villain: You…me…NOW!
Luckily for young Midoria, a list of options froze time before Toga could do anything more to him. His relief was short-lived however as he read through the options, realizing that one wrong choice could very well leave him in more pain than any of his restarts.
[Deal! Let's go and do whatever we want.]
[No time. Busy gathering villain-girls.]
[Uh…I actually like Uraraka.]
Midoria gulped. He blushed when he read option 3, immediately deciding to banish that choice from his mind. Not only was he not so sure about his actual feelings, he was also fairly certain that was the kind of response that would guarantee him a knife in the spleen, or worse. Option 1 was not much better, nor did it mesh with his own personal philosophy. Option 2 was also looking deadly, but perhaps it would give him an option to run. Readying his legs, he tapped the second option.
Toga, the Bloodlustful Villain:An entire HAREM of villain girls? You idiot! They'll rip you to bloody shreds…and I HAVE to see it!
Midoria breathed a sigh of relief when Toga didn't immediately stab him. His comfort was short lived, however, when he saw the menu appear before him.
[Villaintaker: Chapter II]
[Chicken Out…to be clear, this will result in THE BAD END]
Realizing that he had no choice, Midoria reached out and tapped the first option, bracing himself for the future horrors that awaited him.
Ending A/N: And thus begins the story of the Villaintaker! What did you all think of it? Please select ONE option. (Note that choosing incorrectly will result in THE BAD END.)
[Meh, it was fine, I guess…]
[ABSOLUTE PERFECTION 10/10 WOULD RECOMMEND TO A FRIEND!]
How often this story is updated depends entirely on how popular it is. Needless to say, there are a lot of villains who can be part of this story. I think I know which villain will be featured next, but out of curiosity, which villains level are YOU eager to see next? Looking forward to hearing from you.
Thank you, SpudLord, for inspiring me. Everyone who hasn't already done so, check out his work!