The Great Mysteries of Life


Written by: Curtis Wildcat


Reason for doing this: It was late, and I was tired


Response to flamers: "The average IQ in a room goes down when you walk through the door."


It was well along the evening in the outside world: at least 11:59pm, by her estimation. She had locked herself in her lab for the past 20 hours, skipping sleep and meals in order to try to figure out exactly what was going on.

To Washu, it was simply confounding. Here she was, the greatest scientific mind in the universe, having a staggering amount of experience in the field under her belt; and yet this mysterious force was completely puzzling her! It was simply unbelievable!

"And here I thought my laptop would be safe from these attacks," Washu muttered to herself, continuing to tap away at the keys. "It's a complete mystery to me..."

The plastic crabs dangling over the door announced his presence as soon as he stepped through. Normally, he'd be asleep and unconcerned with the scientist's doings. However, considering how Washu had secluded herself as of late, Lord Katsuhito had decided to find out what was going on. "Miss Washu, if I may...?"

"By all means, Yosho," Washu replied, never taking her eyes off the computer screen. She grabbed a nearby cup of water, sipping it quietly before setting it back on the table next to her. "Something going on outside that I need to know about?"

"Not much at all," Katsuhito answered, closing the door behind him. "Outside of a fight between Ryoko and Ayeka that nearly destroyed the house, it's been more or less quiet."

"It's amazing how you can say such a thing with utter calmness," Washu said, smiling. Her eyes glanced back at him, then refocused on the computer screen. "So, why're you here? Never known you as one to make social visits."

"Actually, Sasami and Mihoshi have been wondering why you've been in here all day," stated Katsuhito. "Thought I'd find out for myself."

"What I've been doing isn't important, Kats," Washu murmured. Her tone brightened a little. "Can I call you Kats? That name's rather cute."

"Only if you can tell me what in the world is going on here," said the disguised Juraian, stepping forward a few paces.

Washu sighed; by Katsuhito's no-nonsense tone of voice, it seemed that even she'd be hard-pressed to keep him from the truth. She beckoned him forward. "Here. I need you to take a close look at this computer. I've found something that has even ME stumped, and that's saying something."

Katushito stepped forward and looked over Washu's shoulder at the screen. His eyes widened a bit. "That? THAT'S what's troubling you?"

Washu slowly nodded, almost ashamed to say it. "Yes. Every time I try to get something done, I keep getting these pop-up ads wanting me to buy something I don't want! I just can't figure out how to get rid of them, and they've frozen up the system TWICE!"

It was then that Washu got to witness a rare phenomenon: Katsuhito committing a facefault.

Washu returned to her computer, grumbling as Tenchi's grandfather recovered and left the lab. "Can't believe I missed dinner trying to fiddle around with this. Why'd I have to install a `Windows' system on this---NO, I do NOT want to get a free bar of soap by subscribing to a fishing magazine!" She shouted angrily, then leaped off her cushion and kicked it out the way, out of frustration. "WHY do they have to make these things so blasted hard to deal with?!"

A new window appeared on the screen, startling her. This one, though, wasn't an advertisement; it was a message. What was even scarier, though, was what the message said:

"There are some things that are better off left as mysteries.

" ----Bill Gates"

Washu blinked, convinced that exhaustion was the cause of this. "Okay, this is TOO freaky," she said as she backed away from the laptop. "I'm going to bed before anything else happens."


Note from Curtis Wildcat:

I am tired, and I want to go to bed. I did this because I was bored. I'll update my other stories as soon as I recover from writer's block, okay? Some of you will laugh at this, and others won't. Now go away, and please leave me alone. *yawn* Good night...