The Great Mysteries of Life


Epilogue to Irritation


Written by: Curtis Wildcat


I had intended for this fic to be a quickie, but I guess it just can't stay that way. The prologue dealt with Washu's reason for using a "Windows" OS, and this epilogue will deal with how she finally manages to get past the so-called "mystery".


Several sheets of paper sat on an otherwise empty table, aloof and forelorn. Long lines of drivel ---at least, that's what they would look like to someone who wasn't well-educated---were strewn across the pages in a haphazard manner. Obviously, the one who had written those words was starting to become frustrated.

Washu had finally had enough. Since her computer was now occupied by one of the more recent "Windows" operating systems, a wireless connection was permenantly established to planet Earth's Internet. For several days straight, she had been constantly bombarded by pop-up advertising outside of her E-mail account and spam IN her account. Once, she had even gotten a pop-up ad from a company that made software that would get rid of pop-ups. Irony works in mysterious ways, you know; this time, the irony was so mysterious that she decided that she wouldn't conduct any experiments until this disturbance was gone for good.

She had tried eliminating the Internet software; that was a no-go. She had tried re-creating her own OS, but a certain company laid claim to the first few lines of code that she wrote and applied it to their own OS. She had tried to delete that part of the system, but she got a message that read: "Windows has detected a random error on your computer and will shut down for no good reason."

That was rather infuriating, not to mention the last straw. It was time for Washu to bring out her secret weapons. Stepping out of the lab and into the Masaki residence for a moment, she came face-to-face with Tenchi. "Would you mind getting Ryoko and Mihoshi from wherever they are and into my lab, Lord Tenchi?" she asked, frazzled enough to skip saying "hello". "It's important."

Tenchi looked a bit puzzled at the request, then nodded. "Okay. Sure, Little Washu."

Ten minutes later, the two of them showed up inside Washu's lab. "What did ya call me for?" the hot-tempered Ryoko muttered. "I was going to offer `Her Worshipfulness' a facelift." *

"Truth is, I need you," Washu replied. She continued on when she noted their confused expressions, bringing up a text editor on her laptop as she did so. "Mihoshi, you have full leave to fool around on this thing for a while."

Mihoshi was rather enthralled at this. "Really? Okay! Thanks, Washu!" She grabbed a nearby chair, sat down, and got to work.

Washu turned to Ryoko. "And YOU, Ryoko, are going to pay a few people a visit."


Through the help of some local stooges a short time before, Washu had managed to get a number of addresses. These addresses were the offices of various low-profile techies who had a hand in creating the spam and countless advertising windows. With such knowledge in Ryoko's mind, well...let's just say that they would be missing their offices when they arrived in the morning.

In the half-hour that she worked on Washu's computer, Mihoshi had never done much with the text program. Through a series of mishaps that she couldn't recall later on, she had managed to bring up the system's information and *delete* an important piece of code: the code that allowed others to pre-empt attempts to create original operating systems (and she won a few cool games of Minesweeper while she was at it). How Mihoshi had done it, Washu would likely never know. What mattered was that she could now start work on a basic OS and move on from there. For the first time in nearly a week, she was happy. No pop-ups meant no interference.

There was only one thing left to accomplish, and Washu took great delight in doing this herself.


A yellow sticky note materialized on the frame of a monitor thousands of miles away. Two lone words were written on that note, which was intended for one pair of eyes only:

"Nyah, nyah."

Mystery solved.


* -- The "Worshipfulness" part was something I burrowed from Han Solo. Sounds like something Ryoko would say, anyway.

It's done and it's over with: a short foray into what happens when Washu tangles with a network full of techies. Granted, I don't really think that "Windows" is like this in reality, and I know that some online advertisements are well-intended. Thing was, since I was up late typing this story, I decided to exaggerate a bit.

Speaking of insomnia, I'm going to try to get some shuteye. Whether you enjoyed this or not, I'm outta here. *yawns; falls out of his chair*