Disclaimer- Harry Potter belongs J.K.R.
When You Think Things Can't Get Worse, They Do
She blinked once. Twice. Three times. Comprehension, though slow to come, finally settled over her. Disbelief, followed by quick anger quickly dominated her. She looked at the woman, the social worker, setting across from her. The woman behind the nice, mahogany desk with perfect manicured nails and a tailored business suit. She ignored James' sharp, angry intake of breath. Her eyes never left the steely gray eyes of the social worker, false compassion heavy within the woman's orbs. She stood up abruptly, balled her fist, and marched out of the room. The door slammed behind her, she was vaguely aware that James had gotten up from his seat. She had no doubt he intended to follow her. That would leave his mother, Mrs. Potter, alone with Ms. Verko, the social worker.
She ignored the glances of the people she passed by as she swiftly walked down the hall. After all, most of them were used to angry adolescents storming off. She was just one of the many before her. She heard James behind her. It wasn't as if it had been a feat for him to catch up to her brisk pace anyways, his long legs ensured to work to his advantage. He grabbed her elbow gently. She was forced to stop, looked up at him when he placed himself directly in front of her. She looked up at him, couldn't bring herself to muster up annoyance at him. Tears obscured her angry, emerald eye. He touched the side of her face, brushed a piece of hair back. She closed her eyes. He wiped an escaped tear away from her porcelain white cheek.
She sniffed and opened her eyes, leaned her head against his defined chest. The sixteen-year-old male embraced her tightly. She breathed in his scent. She loved his scent, always had. It was so masculine, so comforting, so, so… so strictly him. She nuzzled his chest, as if trying to get closer to him. He tightened his arms around her, her arms circled around his waist. Never in a million had she ever thought they would be this close. She could have laughed at it. It wasn't that long ago that she remembered hating him, though it did seem ages ago. They stood, wrapped in the others embrace for a while.
She lifted her head, looked up at him. There weren't any tears present, but a deep sadness resided in the depths of her eyes. Her composure screamed hopelessness. Even if it hadn't though, he would have been able to tell. He always had been if he thought about it long enough. He didn't remove his arms; she didn't want him to. A piece of hair that had escaped its confinement from the elastic band holding the rest of her thick, long hair back in a tail fell in face. She ignored it. It was of no importance. Involuntarily her arms tightened around his trim waist, he held her just a bit closer.
She half huffed, half laughed. A smile tugged at her lips. It was something bitter. "I can't believe this is happening." She mumbled. "No, wait. I actually can believe this is happening."
He cupped her face, one arm still firmly around her waist. The piece of loose hair tickled the tanned flesh of the upside of his hand. "It's going to be okay."
She shook her head, diverted her eyes away from his probing ones. She bit her lip, released it. "No it isn't James. When is it ever okay?" She looked back at him. "I- I thought maybe, just maybe it would be, but…"
"James they're going to send me to fucking America, to stay with a bunch of people I've never even meet." It was a tired retort, anger and irritation abandoned.
"They're your family." He said softly. Like the petite girl in his arms, he also ignored the wandering glances of those around them. They weren't important.
"They claim to be." Her eyebrows raised only a little. Her brow furrowed, fear settled in her eyes. Her voice was a shaken whisper. "What if they're like him?"
He stiffened, tightened his arms around her. Anger ignited like a wild bonfire. Him. A deep, unforgiving loathing he didn't fight manifested into something incredibly ugly. How he hated him. Hated him for hurting her, his Lily. His sweet Lily. He tilted her head, forced her to look at him.
"They won't be." Though a whisper unwavering conviction laced his words.
She leaned into his hand, wished desperately she could believe him. How she wanted to. She wanted to believe that she would be safe. That she would be safe with strangers, strangers just found and claiming to be long lost relatives. Strangers, long lost relatives that were willing and were going to take her into their home. Though she didn't want to go, though she didn't trust them, a small swell a gratitude could be found beneath her bitter resentment, fear, and despair. She didn't want to leave true, but she didn't hate them either. After all they were people who had never meet her, not once, but they were willing to accept her into their household when her own sister hadn't.
'Not like I would want to go and live with her anyways.' She thought.
"You don't know that." She whispered disheartened.
She watched the absolute determination fill his dark eyes. "I won't let anyone hurt you Lily. Not again."
She smiled sadly, wondered randomly when he had become so mature. "I'll be thousands of miles away with the Atlantic Ocean separating us James. How are you going to possibly accomplish that?"
She pulled away from him, left before he could respond to her statement. How could he respond though? What she had said was the brutal and honest truth. How could he possible protect her with so many miles and a bloody ocean between them? The unfairness of it all hit him hard, almost as hard as the painful realization that this would undoubtedly be one of the last moments when they would be together. A blinding pain enveloped him, physical enough that he fought hard to not fall to knees. Misery turned his dark eyes even darker. He watched her retreating figure; she hadn't looked back. Would she look back when she left?
He ran a hand through his unruly locks, tugged on it sharply. He couldn't go back in Ms. Verko's office, not when his emotions were raging and so out of control. Control. He had always been a person to have a strong hold on his actions, always had made sure he was in control of himself. Now… never before had he felt as helpless in his life. This was truly and completely out of his control, his power. It wouldn't matter what he did they would take her away. She would be gone.
"Fuck." It was a raspy whisper, his own despair taking residence low in his being.
He sat on a wooden bench that lined the wall, cradled his head in his hands. People sent glances at him, but overall ignored him. It was better that way. His ill mood was becoming worse. Lily… It was drawing to the end of the summer and everyday of their summer break they had spent it together. Her eyes, her smile, everything about her had become more cheery. He understood that it would take time, but slowly he could see her returning to her former person. The exuberant girl who hadn't been afraid to speak her mind, that hadn't been afraid to smile. He was used to spending the days with her, having conversations with her, both meaningful and senseless. He was used to her being there, used to the feel of her presence when she was near. Now, however, they wanted to take her away. Away from her home, Hogwarts, her friends… him.
His anger was quick to rebound. He cursed the Fates. What had his angel, his Lily ever done to them? Why couldn't she ever get a break? He wished Snape or Malfoy, hell any Slytherin was there at the moment so he could hex them into oblivion. He would never tell Lily that, she was to nice a person to ever wish harm on another just because she was in a foul mod for reasons that apparently couldn't be helped. He wasn't so nice though, and he wanted to exorcise he anger on something, anything.
The door down at the end of the hall opened. He raised his head, saw Lily and the other two occupants exit the room. A strong trill of utter delight ran through him. He was in love with her he knew it. Had come to terms with his feelings sometime during the beginning of summer. Maybe he had always loved her. A smiled tugged his lips. Red locks, green eyes, pale skin… she was the epitome of angelic perfection. He would fight anyone who disagreed with him. He stood up, watched her get closer.
"Come along James, Lily." His mother said. Her usual carefree, bubbly demeanor gone.
"I'll come gather Lily and her things in three days." Ms. Verko stated, extended and shook Mrs. Potter's hand.
Mrs. Potter forced a polite smile. "She'll be ready."
No more was said. Mrs. Potter walked in front of the teenagers, leading them out of the muggle building. James sent a glare at the woman, placed his arm around Lily, left the building behind his mother. A sullen group for a sullen day. The drive to James' house was uncomfortably silent. All parties contemplating what the future would hold now.
Sierra stepped up to Lily, her turn to embrace her having arrived. Her eyes were tearful and her chin quivered. She opened her arms and the two girls hugged, tears running down their cheeks like rapid rivers. "I don't want you to go." Sierra sobbed in Lily's shoulder. She didn't care about all the people around her.
Lily sobbed. "I don't want to go."
Sierra hugged Lily tighter. It wasn't fair. She wasn't supposed to leave. Who would be her shoulder to cry on? Who would put up with all her mindless rants about the boys she liked? Who would she sit up late with, eat ice cream, and gossip with? Who would she complain to? Who would she make fun of the people she didn't like with? Who would she tease about James Potter? Who would be her best friend? She cursed social services and the Fates for taking her best friend away. She knew she had the others, but they just couldn't compensate for Lily (they hadn't when they had had their falling out for that short while).
"I want letters everyday." Sierra instructed.
Lily nodded. "Same for you." Her voice was muffled.
Sierra sniffed. The two girls leaned apart, their hands clasped together. "Don't make friends with any strange Americans either. And- and don't forget us."
Lily gave a watery smile. Forget them? How could she possibly forget them? Any of them? Especially Sierra and James? James. Her eyes flicked to him, standing a ways away with his friends and parents. He had helped her so much. He had been helping her get her life back, to chase away the shadows stalking her life. He had been her savoir, literally. He had protected her, just as he said he would. Had defended her. She drew in a shaky breath and looked at Sierra. The other girl was looking at her knowingly.
"He's going to miss you a lot you know." She said softly.
Lily glanced over at James. He was watching her with guarded eyes. She swallowed hard, adverted her gaze back to Sierra. She bit her lip, nodded her head.
"I'm going to miss him also." It was a quiet confession, almost inaudible.
Sierra snorted. "Duh, of course you will. You two are meant to be together."
Lily rolled her eyes, some semblance of playfulness returning to them even in their depressing situation. "Are not."
"Right, that's just why you two have been spending so much time together. Why he gets all googley-eyed when you're around."
Lily raised an eyebrow. "Your imagining things again."
Sierra snorted. Seriousness reigned once again. Lily hugged Sierra again, closed her eyes tightly. Sierra returned the embrace, squeezing the redhead almost painfully. The intercom could be heard, it was time for Lily to go. They pulled away from each other, grasped each other's hand, squeezed. She looked past Sierra at the rest of her friends; all had tears in their eyes. She forced a smile, tried to be strong.
"Don't forget me okay?"
Allison snorted and said sadly, "Same goes for you Lils."
She nodded, hugged them again in a group hug. It was time to say goodbye to James. Obviously sensing it he stepped away from his friends and parents. He ruffled his hair Lily found it annoyingly cute. (In a strictly platonic way she told herself.) They stopped in front of each other, Lily bit her lip, shuffled her feet.
"I'll walk you to your umm terminal." He mumbled. She nodded, waved one last time at her tearful friends, the Potters, Remus, and Sirius.
It was awkward and uncomfortable. Upon reaching her terminal they stopped, faced each other. She felt James gently grasp her chin and tilt her head up. She looked at him with large eyes, tears threatening to overflow. She noticed with a shock his eyes shown glossy with unshed tears. She forced another smile, he drew her into a hug, burred his face in her hair. He wished they would stay like that, she wished they could stay like that. Wished she didn't have to leave and all was right. Both wishing and wanting the same thing, both painfully aware that the truth was it would never happen.
"Thanks for coming." She whispered, breaking the silence first.
He nodded his head. "You think I would let you leave without a goodbye, that Sierra and all your other friends would let you leave without goodbye. Sierra would hunt you down if she missed this."
Lily laughed at this. A feeble jest, but one that produced a laugh. He smiled a little, brushed her hair out of her face. "Thanks though, even though Ms. Verko wasn't pleased."
He snorted. "Fuck her."
Lily laughed. The intercom sounded again, she had to leave. She looked up at him, knew that he realized that. What could they say now? What could she say that could possibly convey what she felt? What did she feel? How could he tell her he loved her and then watch her walk away? It was simple really, he couldn't. It would only complicate things more. Make leaving harder for the both of them. His silence would be the best for both of them. He knew he would never see her again, so why speak of his feelings when a future between them was impossible now? He would stay silent, that was his decision, and she would leave. That was the way things had to be.
"I have to go now." She whispered. He nodded, pulled her to him again. She pulled away. If she stayed much longer she knew she wouldn't be able to leave. Hastily kissed his cheek and retreated. "Thank you."
She didn't need to elaborate for him to understand what she meant. He watched her get further away, unable to speak, unable to do anything. He watched her give the lady her ticket, watched her turn and give another pained smile. He marveled at how she was trying to be strong, continued to watch her until she was out of sight. Even then he looked at the spot where she had disappeared. Only when he heard the plane take off did the first tear fall, did true hopelessness and anguish dominate. She was well and truly gone.
A/N- I'm not sure if anyone is still interested in this, but look I updated. It's been a while but I updated, hehe. Anyways, this chapter didn't exactly turn out the way I'd wanted, I just couldn't get the mood right but beggars can't be choosers right? Okay review and let me know what you think, if anyone is still interested/likes it I'll update. I have a clear view of where I want to go with this. And I promise, it won't be a year before I update again. Promise. So review and tell me what you think. And for all you annoying and immature flamers out there, save the flames. I'm only going to disregard and ignore them. When you have something intelligent to say, maybe I'll pay more attention. This sort of thing actually happens, called life dolls. And for whatever love is left in this forsaken world, don't insult my mother. If you don't like it then for Christ sakes stop reading it. It doesn't take a genius to figure that one out. For you splendid, wonderful reviewers though I love every single one of you. As for errors, I'm in rather a hurry so I didn't really get to check for those said errors. So sorry for any of them. ALSO! As for previous chapters, I'm thinking about revising them. Not changing them, just fixing all the errors and things like that (well I planned on it whenever I get more free time anyways). So review please. Ta-Ta!