Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. That's all.

MeSsEd Up!
A Ranma ½ / Sailor Moon Crossover!
By Hawk
C&C welcome, as well as flames at Hawk49er@attbi.com

Note: I don't really have a note this time I guess. One thing
though. You guys, and gals, have to remember that this isn't
the regular Ranmaverse, it's an AU. Meaning Alternate
Universe.

Warning: There is swearing and violence in this chapter.
Why? Because this chapter is more serious than the others.
You have been warned! Ouggie Boogie! Mlah! Buwaga! And
so on. . . .

Chapter 4 - Who's the Greatest? He's the Greatest? You're the
Greatest?

Nodoka and Genma stumbled through the door, both
breathing restlessly. Studying the bathroom, they soon found
Ranma standing naked in the middle of the room, eyes wide
and mouth agape. Two things happened: Nodoka started
crying and Genma started cursing under his breath about
having to mop the floor again.

"What's wrong, son?" Genma asked, patiently eyeing
his catatonic son.

"My manly son's gone insane! My only chance at
grandchildren is going down the drain!" Nodoka wailed,
soaking the bathroom floor; coincidently, most of her tears
doing just the same.

Ranma spun to face his father. "Waddaya mean
'What's wrong'!? Look at my back! What the hell is this!?" he
screamed, pointing at his back.

*Oh boy! * Genma thought worriedly while glancing
at his wife.

The water works stopped as if someone had turned a
knob on the back of her head to do so. She stared at her son,
wide-eyed and somewhat fearfully.

"What the heck is the deal with it?" Ranma asked
seriously, glaring pointedly at Genma.

*What should I say? * Genma thought panicky, *He's
always been so blind in the past when taking a bath he's never
noticed! * He looked around the room quickly, *But he'll
forget it exists once it disappears! I gotta tell him something
though!*

Nodoka swallowed nervously glancing at her husband.
The fear she felt for her son was now overridden by another,
greater fear. "Um . . ." she stuttered, shaking slightly.

"Well, son. I think you're old enough to know the
truth," Genma said slowly taking deep breathes while looking
at Nodoka. "It all involves 'Him'. Well, I gotta sleep! Gotta
big day tomorrow!" he said frantically before tearing out of
the room.

Picking herself off the floor, Nodoka quickly shot out,
"I have to go . . . um . . . cook dinner! Yes, that's it!" before
scrambling out of the room herself.

"Ah . . . ," Ranma began eyeing the door curiously.
"Waita minute! We already ate dinner!" he realized suddenly
before slipping on the tear stained floor and landing on his
face. Letting out a breath and blowing away the salty water
around his mouth, Ranma muttered wearily, "Him . . . ?
Who's 'Him' . . . ?"

*********

Ranma tiredly made his way to the breakfast table the
next morning. The black mark on his back had disappeared,
leading him to believe he'd dreamt the whole thing and it
didn't really exist. Genma sat quietly, eating and reading the
newspaper. As he took a seat across from his father, he
noticed the headline on the paper as well as the picture.

"Local Gang Members Hung Up to Dry." The picture
was of Kuno and Akane, hanging from the flag pole.

Ranma couldn't not grin. A grin so big, Genma easily
noticed. "Why the smile, son?"

"Oh, no reason, Pop," Ranma replied, same grin
plastered on his face. He quickly started digging into his
breakfast, stealing some of Genma's without thinking about it.

Genma, not being as slow as one might think, raised an
eyebrow at his sons behavior. He wasn't quite sure what had
gotten into Ranma these past few days and had no clue
whether it was good or not. He silently folded the newspaper
and stood to leave.

It was at this moment that Ranma noticed Genma's
attire. A finely knit suit and tie, as well as polished black
shoes. He looked very intelligent which scared Ranma.

"Uhh . . . Pop . . . where're you goin'?"

"To work . . ."

"Oh . . . Where's that again?" Ranma asked dumbly.

Genma looked at his son. Something was seriously
wrong. Perhaps they would have to get a doctor to check him
out. Maybe a psychiatrist. He decided he would humor his son
for the time being. "Saotome and Kumon. The law firm . . ."

"I see . . . um . . . Pop?"

"Yes, Ranma?" Genma patiently asked, not wanting to
disturb his insane child.

"You got any money on you?" Ranma replied, slowly
popping a small piece of fried fish in his mouth.

"Yes . . ."

"I need some money, how much you got on you?"
Ranma asked, before downing his miso soup in one large gulp.

"170,000 yen," Genma replied, looking through his
wallet.

"Can I get some of that?" Ranma looked up at Genma,
slipping the last piece of fried fish into his mouth. He watched
as Genma pulled out all the yen in his wallet and placed it on
the table in front of him. 170,000 lay on the table in front of
him, given to him by his father.

Ranma's eyes rolled upward, followed by his head
before he fainted, hitting his head on the table, the bowls and
plates jumping at the heavy thud.

*********

Ranko slumped into the school yard, dragging her feet
as she did so. It was going to be a long day. She realized the
day was going to be even longer when Usagi, Rei and Makoto
ran up to her, followed by Ami, who walked slowly.

"Is it true!?" Makoto and Usagi screamed almost
simultaneously.

Wincing slightly, Ranko asked, "Is what true?"

"Are you and Ranma a couple?" Rei asked calmly as
Usagi and Makoto stared at the redhead eagerly.

"Huh!" Ranko exclaimed in surprise. "What gave you
that idea?"

"Ranma," they all stated simply.

Her hand connected with her forehead, slowly sliding
down her face. "Ugh . . . just what I DON'T need . . . " she
mumbled. "Look! Ranma and I aren't going out. It's just a
plan to get Kuno and his lackeys off my back."

"Oh! I get it!" Ami exclaimed, "If you're 'going out'
with Ranma, and Ranma can beat up Kuno and his gang, they
should be too scared to try anything!"

"For fear of Ranma beating them up!" Usagi smiled
brightly.

Ranko blinked. *I guess it does make sense . . . * she
thought as Usagi tripped and fell on her face randomly causing
Rei to trip over her and the two to start arguing.

*********

Leaning far back in his chair, arms hanging loosely by
his side, Ranma slept soundly as the class progressed. His
head, which had a small lump on it from his morning meet
with the table, rocked from side-to-side slightly. A small drop
of drool hung from the corner of his lips.

Ranko sighed again as a couple of her classmates
giggled at her and then looked back at Ranma. She had figured
having Ranma pretend to be her boyfriend wouldn't be too
bad, but she hadn't been expecting this.

Ripping off a small piece of paper from her note book,
Ranko rolled it into a between her thumb and index before
closing one eye and taking aim. Flicking the paper, she
watches at his sailed over another students head into Ranma's
opening mouth.

He flung forward in his seat, coughing, gagging on the
small piece of paper lodge in his throat. He grabbed his neck
with one hand, smacking his back rapidly with his other.
Finally, he swallowed loudly, his face contorting into a state of
confusion and revolt.

The majority of the class laughed or watched him with
odd expressions. Ranko stared with a face of sorrow and
anxiety. She hadn't expected that to happen. She cringed when
Ranma looked in her direction, same look written on his face.
She looked away, staring at the black board.

Ranma coughed once more before laying his head
down and going back to sleep.

"Saotome!" Professor Yugure shouted, "What's 4 over
2 when divided by 2?"(1)

"One . . . " Ranma mumbled through silent snores.

The class looked stupidly at the sleeping teen.

*********

"Hey, Nabiki!" Ranma called as he strode across the
schoolyard at lunch.

"What do you want, Ranma?" Nabiki asked, frowning
deeply, eyes narrowed. "I don't exactly have all the time in the
world, you know."

Ranma blinked. "Errr . . . right. Anyway, I know what
kinda business you run and I just came by a large sum of
money, so I was wondering if you might have something I'm
looking for," he explained easily.

"How much money are we talking about?" Nabiki
asked, eyeing Ranma suspiciously.

"Enough," Ranma answered smugly.

"What exactly are you looking for?" Nabiki inquired,
her manner now that of a business woman.

"Ranko. I want every single picture you have of
Ranko."

Nabiki, to say the least, wasn't pleased with Ranma's
request, yet was pleased to say, "No."

Ranma raised an eyebrow. *If that's the way you want
to play it . . . * he thought, annoyed slightly by Nabiki's
attitude.

Reaching into his pocket, he quickly pulled out a large
wad of yen and waved it in front of Nabiki's face, directly
under the short-haired girl's nose.

Nabiki's mouth watered at the sight, and she leaned
forward in her sitting position, attempting to get closer. She
sniffed the money once before looking up at Ranma. "That's
only 10,000 yen. I sell Ranko pictures at either 2,500 or 5,000.
Depends on what type of picture, after all." She smiled, not all
too pleasantly.

"All right . . . Then how about this?" Ranma reached
slowly, dramatically into his shirt, as if a larger sum of money
were there. Instead, Ranma pulled out a handful of pictures
and handed them to Nabiki.

Said girl blinked curiously as she took the pictures.
"What're these?" she asked before looking at them.

Ranma smiled to himself. There was no way Nabiki
would turn down pictures like those.

Nabiki blinked again. "What the hell is this crap!?" she
shouted before throwing the pictures into Ranma's face. "I
don't want or have any need of pictures of you!"

It was Ranma's turn to blink as he picked the pictures
up off the ground. How could she not want pictures of him?
He was Ranma Saotome! Resident hunk and martial artist
extraordinaire!

Nabiki's eye twitched as Ranma struck as heroic
looking pose in front of her, flexing his muscles while
grinning like an idiot. Raising her hand to her face, she rubbed
her eyebrow, stopping the twitch.

"Look, Saotome . . ." she said slowly, gaining the ego
inflated martial artist's attention. "I only take cash for pictures
of Ranko. If you don't have enough, then get lost."

Frowning as he stuff the pictures back down his shirt,
Ranma reached down and pulled yet another wad of yen out of
his pocket. "How much was it gonna be for all of 'em?"

"5,160."

"What!?! For all of them!?" Ranma shouted, sounding
quite insane at the moment.

"Yup. Special price, just for you, Saotome," Nabiki
explained smugly.

"How come I feel like I'm being robbed?" Ranma
asked no one in particular as he pulled out exactly the right
amount of cash.

"Because you are, Saotome," Nabiki replied, grabbing
the money out of Ranma's hand while handing him all the
pictures of Ranko she had. On her, that is.

*That was just too easy. * both thought arrogantly, as
Ranma walked away from Nabiki.

*********

"So I said! I said! And this is the funniest part! Once
you hear it, you'll never forget!" Makoto exclaimed excitedly,
about to reach the punch line of her joke.

"Hey, Ranko!" Ranma shouted as he marched
triumphantly toward the petite redhead.

The group of girls blinked, Makoto forgetting what she
was going to say and Ranko groaning loudly, covering her
face with her hand.

Stopping in front of the group, Ranma grinned broadly
as he looked around the group. Most wore shocked or
confused expressions, while Ranko covered her face.

*Most likely to hide her blush. * Ranma thought, his
ego inflating slightly as he did so.

Looking up at Ranma, her face its normal light peachy
color, Ranko asked irritably, "What do you want, Ranma?"

"What?" Ranma asked innocently, grinning widely, "A
boyfriend can't say hello to his girlfriend when he wants to?"

Ranko groaned to herself yet again as her friends
giggled girlishly. He was really taking this to far. "Once again.
What do you want, Ranma?"

"Ah . . . Hold on. I gotta remember," Ranma said
lamely.

The group sweat dropped, Ranma included.

Ranma's eyes widened suddenly then blinked blankly,
remembering what he was originally planning to do.

Somewhere Cherry smacked his forehead right before
a piano fell on him. This was followed by a glob of bird shit
then the bird itself.

Ranma grinned at Ranko's perplexed expression. For
some reason he just found it impossible not to have some fun
with this girl. Or make fun of, depending on how you looked
at it. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out about 30 pictures
and tossed them to Ranko. Of course, they all didn't land on
Ranko, instead spreading around the group. In-between his
middle and index fingers, he still held one picture, it's back to
the group.

Ranko blinked as the pictures rained down around her
like leafs. Plucking one out of the air, she glanced at it
curiously. Blinking once again, she looked at Ranma before
doing a double take, nearly taking her head off in the process.
"What the hell?" she shouted in horror, her crystal blue eyes
wide and clouded with shocked.

"Yeah, I bought those off Nabiki today and figured you
might want them," Ranma replied casually, smiling kindly at
the upset redhead.

Ranko looked up at Ranma, her current dilemma
forgotten for the moment. Why was he doing this for her?
What had she ever done to deserve this kindness from him?
Maybe having him pretend to be her boyfriend wouldn't be
that bad a thing after all. She smiled brightly up at him, and
watched as he colored slightly causing her to blush a little as
well. She just hoped the others didn't see this. "Um . . .
thanks . . ."

Luckily for her, the others were to caught up in
gawking at the pictures to notice.

*God, I wish she wouldn't smile at me like that. *
Ranma thought, rubbing the back of his head. He quickly
responded, face slightly red, "Yeah, um, no problem, but I'm
keeping this one." He flipped the picture in-between his
fingers around, showing the group.

The whole group looked.

The whole group stared.

The picture was, of course, of Ranko, but was quite a
revealing one. Ranko stood topless, her side to the camera,
while bending slightly at the knees, removing her pants and
panties.

Ranma chuckled nervously, before pulling a pen out
his pocket. "Hey, think you could, ya know, sign it?" he asked,
handing the pen and picture to the shocked girl.

Subconsciously, Ranko started signing her name, eyes
staring at the spot Ranma had been holding the picture.

"Make it out to 'My hunky boyfriend', please," Ranma
requested with a cocky smile as Ranko continued to write.
Quickly snatching the picture back from Ranko, incidently
snapping her out of it, he held the picture up, reading what
she'd written. "You can keep the pen if you want," he added
absently.

Ranko blinked, then blinked again in surprise. "I didn't
just write that, did I?" she asked, the sun reflecting off her
eyes, making them twinkle. Her face had grown redder, her
breath coming in deeper causing her chest to do interesting
things for those that could see.

"Sorta," Ranma said, attempting to read the sloppy
hand writing before stuffing the picture down his shirt for safe
keeping.

Ranko hopped forward slightly, landing on her knees
in front of Ranma. "Give it back!" she shouted desperately,
tugging on his pant leg. There was no telling what a pervert
like Ranma would do with that picture in his filthy hands!

Sighing dramatically, Ranma reached into his shirt and
pulled out another picture, tossing it to Ranko. "Here. You can
have this one though," Ranma offered.

Ranko grabbed the picture quickly, looking it over like
a madwoman. She blinked and abruptly threw the picture back
at Ranma. "I don't want a picture of you! I want the picture of
me back!"

Ranma sighed, frowning as he picked up the picture of
a topless him flexing his muscles. One which Nabiki had
refused as well. Licking his lips, Ranma tried again, bending
down waving the picture in front of Ranko's face. "Come on .
. . you know you want it," he said smiling teasingly.

Usagi blinked at Ami and Rei, though more so at the
latter, noticing that they'd barely touched their bento's.

"I don't want it," Ranko growled, looking up at
Ranma, but avoiding eye contact.

Ranma frowned again, and turned around. He quickly
shoved the picture up his sleeve and turned around again,
holding his arms in the air. "Alright! If you can find it . . . you
can have it!" he exclaimed, smiling brightly.

"No," Ranko replied dully.

Makoto attached herself to his leg, feeling her way up
it. "I'll find it!"

"Gah!" Ranma shouted, jumping out of Makoto's
grasp before her hands could get to high.

Makoto pouted and returned to where she'd been
sitting, flexing her fingers, remembering the muscles they'd
just been gripping. She smiled happily to herself.

"Wait. If we can find the picture of _Ranko_, we can
keep it?" Usagi exclaimed a little to loudly for Ranma's and
the others' tastes.

"Errr . . . that's not what I sa-," Ranma started, before
being cut off by a loud scream.

"Get him!" a horny, pimple-faced boy shouted,
pointing at Ranma.

"A free picture!"

"It's mine!"

Ranma's eyes widened as more than 30 eavesdropping
boys rushed toward him, drool hanging from their lips.
Screaming in horror, Ranma hurriedly bolted from the scene,
the mob of horny teenagers hot on his tail.

The group blinked in unison, surprised by the
suddenness of it all.

Rubbing her forehead, Ranko turned to Usagi.
"Thanks, Usagi. I thought he'd never go away," she said,
laughing nervously.

"Bwah?" Usagi replied, food falling from her mouth.

"What?" Ranko asked, the other looking at Usagi
curiously.

Gulp Usagi swallowed the food quickly, her
seemingly large endless neck and stomach allowing her to get
it all down. "What did I do?" she asked blinking rapidly.

Ranko sweat dropped. "Nothing Usagi . . . nothing at
all . . ."

"Hey! Where'd my lunch go?" Ami exclaimed as she
looked down at the spot where her food had been.

Rei blinked at Ami before laughing out loud. "At least
she didn't eat my lunch this time!" Rei shouted as she picked
up her bento, not noticing the contents missing.

********

Ranko frowned as she rifled through the pile of
picture, all of which were of her. Of her in very . . . interesting
positions.

"Wow! Look at this picture! I never knew a person
could bend like that . . ."

"Baka Meatball-head! Women can bend into a lot
more positions than men can," Rei answer smugly, a grin
donning her face.

"Yeah, but like this?" Usagi said passing the picture to
Rei.

"Whoa! That's . . . an interesting position there, Ranko
. . ." Rei admitted as she scrutinized the pictured in her hand
closely.

"Ranko! You really shouldn't bend over like this
while practicing!"

"What?" She snatched the photo out of Rei's hand,
"Eep!" Ranko squealed, eyes going wide before a large blush
spread across her features. "I-I couldn't help it! For some
reason my gi shrunk in the wash the day before!"

*********

Elsewhere, Nabiki smiled and smelled her nice, crisp,
clean wad of money again.

*********

"How about this one, Ranko? Good lord!" Rei
exclaimed, eyes wide in shock.

Ranko grabbed that picture, mouth dropping open. She
was standing on one leg, the other raised, her foot pressed
against her forehead. Her panties were easily noticeable,
though most was covered by her gi. Her head felt slightly light
headed.

She was going to kill Nabiki for this.

"So on another subject. When are you and Ranma
gonna go out on a date?" Makoto asked eagerly.

Ranko shook her head. "What? We aren't really going
out! Remember? Why would go out on a date with him?" she
explained quickly.

"Well he is pretty cute now," Makoto said honestly.

"This is true!" Usagi added, "I wouldn't mind going
out on date with him!"

"Then why don't YOU go out with him. Hmm?"
Ranko asked Usagi, peering closely into the young blondes
eyes.

Usagi grinned happily. "Tuxedo mask," she whispered
dreamily, fading away into a fantasy land.

"Right . . . "

"You two do seem like a perfectly equal match."

"Ugh?" Ranko's face was that of mass confusion.

Ami continued, "Just look at your names, Ranma and
Ranko. You both seem to like martial arts, and you're both
rather smart, though I think Ranma has the advantage in that
category."

Ranko grumbled under her breath.

Makoto giggled. "You're both 'wild'. I wonder if that's
the same for," she giggled again, "you know . . . "

Now Ranko blushed, thoughts of the two Wild Ones in
bed.

*********

"I guess out of all my uncles, I'd have to say Uncle
Caveman was my favorite. We'd call him uncle Caveman
because he lived in a cave and would occasionally come out
and eat one of us. Later on we found out he was a bear,"
Umino explained good heartily, a smile on his face, his arms
waved above his head.

Ranma smiled at Umino strangely, hanging upside
down from a branch of the tree they sat under. He was
definitely weird, but he was a good friend, and a friend was
something Ranma rarely ever had.

"So how far have you gotten with Ranko?"

Ranma fell out of the tree and flat on his face. "Urgh. .
." He watched as an upside down Ranko stormed over to the
tree, her face nearly as red as her hair.

"Rrrrrrraaaaaaanma!" she screamed.

"Urgh. . ."

"I WANT that picture back. Now!" She stomped her
foot to emphasize her point, but it turned into something more
cute than threatening.

Rolling back so he was right side up, he stared at
Ranko from where he sat Indian style on the ground. "What
picture?" he asked innocently, eyes shining naively.

She glared, hands on hips, looking half angry and half
cute at the same time.

*********

Kuno, limping slightly, strolled as confidently as he
could over to Nabiki. "Fair Ten Do daughter," he began,
attempting to sound charming, perhaps to receive a better
price on what he was to ask for. "I come seeking pictures of
your bea . . .uh . . . titful! cousin, Ten Do Ranko!"

"It's Tendo and cut the CRAP, Kuno," Nabiki
exclaimed loudly and lamely. "You sound even stupider when
you talk like that."

Kuno crossed his arms over his chest. "Fine! I just
figured I might sound more soph . . . soph. . . isti . . . smart! If
I talked like a noble person!"

"You sounded like a moron. Now what do you want?"

"I want pictures of Ranko, what else would I want?"

"Ahh, sorry Kuno, they're all gone," Nabiki replied
with a smirk.

"WHAT? But! How? When? Who?!" Kuno raged.

"Who do you think," Nabiki said, nodding her head in
Ranma's direction. "Ranko's boy toy."

"That fiend So Do Me dares defile the delilili...icate
blossom that is Ten Do Ranko! The foul cretin has been
sleeping with my woman! I'm gonna kick his as-err... make
him pay for his crimes against my noble self!" Kuno shouted,
reverting in and out of his other self.

Nabiki didn't know whether to smile or smack her
forehead in dismay. She watched dully as Kuno stormed, still
funnily, toward Ranma and Ranko.

*********

"Hand it over right now, Ranma," Ranko demanded,
glaring at the boy in front of her.

"And what if I refuse?" Ranma asked back, raising his
head cockily. That was before he received a kick to the bottom
of his jaw, knocking him over backwards. "Ow! Dat hurt!" he
half shouted, half mumbled while rubbing his now sore
mouth.

"Good! Gimme the picture!" Ranko exclaimed,
extending her arm.

"Neber!" Ranma replied, covering his crotch with his
hands. "You'll neber 'ake w'at's mine!"

The redheads eyes widened before she covered her
eyes and shouted back, "I don't want that, you pervert! I want
the picture!"

"Aha! So it's true! The foul beast So Do Me has
managed to bite the fair Ranko with his snake!" Kuno cut in,
hobbling up to the two.

"What. . .?" Ranma groaned, having just readjusted his
jaw.

"Your snake, fiend! Has it not tasted the flesh of my
young beau. . . pretty Ranko or has it not?" Kuno snarled,
weakly pointing his bokken at said offender.

"What. . .?" was once again Ranma's reply.

Ranko looked as equally lost.

"Well your slippery-snake has snaked is slippery
snake-like ways for the last time!" Kuno continued, feebly
waving his bokken around.

"Are you calling me a snake?" Ranma asked blankly.

"I will personally see to it that your snake never slips
into another's pants!" Kuno raged, swinging his bokken once
before falling over onto his face.

"WHAT?!" Ranko and Ranma screamed at the same
time, faces mirrored in shock.

"Are you suggesting I SLEPT WITH THAT
TOMBOY?" Ranma shouted in horror, his voice echoing
around the whole school.

"Who're you calling a tomboy, pervert!" Ranko shot
back at Ranma.

"I'm not a pervert, you flat-chested wannabe martial
artist!" Ranma replied angrily, turning around to face Ranko.

Ranko looked at Ranma in utter shock, eyes wide. "Do
you even KNOW who you're talking to?"

Kuno meanwhile stood dumbfounded, watching the
two throw insults back and forth like punches.

Ranma blinked. "Oh yeah! Ha! You're not Akane," he
said smacking his forehead, before adding seriously, "but
you're still a tomboy."

Ranko punched Ranma in the head, knocking him
over. "I am NOT a tomboy!" She felt truly hurt by what he
said. She took pride in her feminine side. Most people
expected her to be a tomboy because of her martial arts
training, not taking into account the fact that she cooked and
dressed like a girl.

Dazed, Ranma lay on the ground, staring across the
yard. *You're an idiot* his mind told him, to which he replied,
"I know."

"You know what!" Ranko exclaimed fiercely, hands
on her hips.

"You're an idiot," he said dully, mimicking his
previous thought. It took him a moment before his eyes
widened in realization of what he'd just said.

Growling under her breath, Ranko told Ranma angrily,
"I don't know why that idiot Kuno thinks we've had sex! But
I'll tell you this! You and I are NEVER! EVER! Going to
have sex. EVER!"

"Hey! I'm standing right here you know?" Kuno
exclaimed, jabbing his bokken into the ground.

As she stormed off, Ranma muttered quietly, "Why
would I want to have sex with you anyway, damn freak . . ."
Having said that, he rolled over upset, looking away from
Ranko, not noticing her pause briefly, lower her head, then
start walking again.

"Foul sorcer . . .ceress! The vengeance of heaven is
slow but sure! I, Kuno Tatewaki of the 'Virile Kendo Men',
shall cap your ass!" Kuno exclaimed, seeing he now had a
chance to speak.

"How 'bout I put my foot up your ass!" Glowing red,
Ranma punted Kuno into the air as he screamed, "And it's
'sorcerer', you idiot!"

*********

"Come on! Tell me! How far did you get with
Ranko!?" Umino shouted as he and Ranma walked out of the
school's front doors.

"Umm, about half way," Ranma muttered tiredly.

"That's got to be farther than anyone's ever gone..."

"Then, we ran into a really irritating old coot."

"Huh? There was an old man there too?"

"Yeah, it's her little friend that lives under the bridge."
Ranma shrugged. "Geez . . . If it weren't for him, I'd have gone
all the way with her."

"Bridge? You were making out under the bridge?"

"Making out?"

"Yeah!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Ranma blinked.

"Err . . . you know! First and second base stuff!"

"I don't play baseball." Ranma stared at Unimo flatly.

Umino blinked. "Baseball? What's that got to do with
making out?"

Ranma sweatdropped. "I TOLD YOU I WASN'T
MAKING OUT WITH THAT TOMBOY!"

Umino sweatdropped. "So you were making out with
Ranko!"

"Will you just listen to me for a second!"

"Have you kissed her yet!?"

"Just a second That's all I'm askin'!"

"You have kissed her, haven't you! What was it like!
Details! Details!"

"What are you, a girl!? Nothin' happened!" Ranma
snapped.

"But-but, you just said that-huh?"

"What is it?"

"You said you didn't make out with a tomboy. Ranko's
not a tomboy . . ."

"Sure! Sure she is!"

"So you had to have made out with her!"

"No way! I've never seen a more unfeminine chick in
my life! And some of them were dressed as guys too!"

"What!?"

"Just look at those hips! And that chest?"

Umino adjusted his glasses. "Looks good to me. Chest
looks nice too. I like her chest . . . ."

"I've known guys with a bigger chest!"

"Errr . . . ."

"Hell, even that idiot Herb had a better figure."

Umino blinked. "I get it! You made out with this Herb
girl didn't you," he said patting Ranma on the back.

"Herb was a guy, you idiot!" Ranma exclaimed,
smacking Umino.

"Ow! Hey! Don't hit me! I'm not the one making out
with guys!"

"Don't go around spreading those lies!"

"What lies?"

"I'd rather make out with Ranko than with a guy!"

Ranma blinked.

Umino blinked.

From across the yard, Ranko blinked.

"Umm . . . forget what I just said."

Umino facefaulted.

"Are you ok, man?" Ranma asked, patting Umino on
his back.

"Damn right I'm a man! Don't touch my ass! I don't
swing that way!"

"WHAT!?"

"You and that Herb person." Umino shuddered,
stepping away from Ranma.

Ranma smacked Umino again.

"Ow! What was that for!"

"Stop spreading lies about me!"

"What lies?" Umino looked confused.

"Look, I ain't never made out with anyone."

Umino's eyes blinked behind his massive glasses.
"What about Ranko? Second base, right?" he said nudge
nudging, wink-winking at Ranma.

"Why are you so perverted all of a sudden? I thought
the only thing you cared about were tests."

"I've always been perverted." Umino was grinning
stupidly.

Ranma moaned weakly, smacking his forehead.

Umino kept grinning.

"Anyway, I dunno what you see in that Ranko chick."

"What's not to see! Long legs . . ."

"She ain't got nothing I ain't seen before." Ranma
stated smugly.

"Pretty face . . ." Umino muttered, staring off into
space, "Huge, tracks of land!" he shouted as he cupped his
hands at his chest.

"A tiny mole on her butt."

"Say what!?"

"Yup. You won't notice at first glance."

"Wait a sec! If you've seen her butt . . . Ranma, you old
dog!"

"I've seen much more than her butt."

". . . . ."

". . . . ."

"Are you _sure_ you haven't made out with her? Just a
little bit?"

"Somehow, that didn't come out the way I intended it,"
Ranma groaned out, sighing deeply, as Umino hopped around
him in a circle.

"You're my hero, Ranma."

"Ah, it's nothing," Ranma said puffing his chest out in
pride, though he didn't fully know what Umino was talking
about.

"But there's something I don't understand. What
happened with the old man?"

"He and I went at it after Ranko left."

"......" Quietly, Umino took a step away from Ranma.

*********

"Will you just listen to me for a second?!"

"Have you kissed him yet!?"

"Just one second! That's all I ask!"

"You have kissed him, haven't you! What was it like!
Details! Details!"

"What are you, a girl!?"

"Yes..." Makoto replied.

"Oh yeah," Ranko muttered walking away from
Makoto and the others.

The others caught up to her momentarily, Usagi asking
the next question. "So if you haven't kissed him, what was the
sex like?"

*********

Ranma looked up at the katana mounted on the wall
above his bed. There was something about that blade that
freaked him out. Maybe it had to do with the fact that it was
placed above his bed and he feared it suddenly falling on him
while he slept.

Every time he looked upon the sword, a strange feeling
ran through him, and he felt himself shudder involuntarily.
The more he looked at the katana, the stronger the vibes
became. It seemed like the blade was pulsing like a heart.

He blinked quickly, head flashing to the right, staring
at his white bedroom wall. Had he just heard a scream? He
scanned his room as what sounded like a male shouting,
followed by a female cry of pain.

Adopting a ready position, Ranma slowly walked to
his bedroom window, looking out of it. He spun around,
staring at the door to his room, where another scream seemed
to have originated.

"Please spare the child!"

Ranma turned slowly, staring at the sword above his
bed. Another scream, then whispering. Quick muttering. The
name Shinta was spoken rapidly, then it quieted.

Ignoring all the warning voices in his head, Ranma
crawled onto his bed and toward the blade. His hand moved
forward, shaking slightly. Finally, he grasped the hilt of the
katana.

The world rushed around him, speeding forward, then
throwing him backwards, causing him to land harshly on his
back. He blinked and winced as his back ached from his
landing. He placed his at sides and felt cold grass, not the soft
bed he slept on the previous few nights.

He looked up to see his mother and . . . HIMSELF?
Shaking his head, he watched as a younger him practiced a
strange form of Kendo. The Nodoka charged the chibi him,
slashing downward as Chibi-Ranma raised his bokken to
block. The sticks clashed, and Chibi-Ranma was knocked
back from the force of Nodoka's blow.

The chibi him, without pigtail and large round glasses
began to cry. Nodoka, instead of bursting into tears herself,
walked steadily over to him, and hit him on the head with her
bokken.

"Do you always want to be afraid?" she questioned
harshly.

"No!" Chibi-Ranma sobbed out.

"Then get up and try again!" Nodoka shouted, walking
away from her child, bokken held tightly in her grip.

"Afraid of what?" Ranma-kun shouted at Nodoka,
standing up and getting ready to intercept his mother.

But everything changed. The ground underneath him
shifted, causing him to fall forward. Day became night, cold
grass became damp stone. The sides of his view filled with old
fashioned houses, rock walls rose upward beside the houses
forming a long street of stone.

A dewy gust of wind blew through his chest and out
his back, chilling him to the bones. He looked up and saw two
men walking toward him, one carrying a lantern, the other
larger man, with his hand on the hilt of his katana. They
walked in silence, other than the loud 'clop' their wooden
sandals made on the hard street.

One of them shouted, the lantern dropped to the street,
breaking apart. Before the larger man could unsheath his
blade, another katana drove through his forehead. The man's
eyes opened wide, mimicking Ranma's own. He twitched
violently before the katana in his forehead drove upward,
splitting the top of his head open and spraying blood upward.

The other man swung his katana at their attacker only
to have it parried easily. The man spun around, swinging
again, this time his katana being broken in two by his
attacker's. He barely had time to scream before the attacker's
katana slid into his open mouth and out the back of his head.
The katana ripped out the side of his head before slashing
across his chest, ripping it open and sending blood
everywhere.

Everywhere but on his attacker, who had already
moved out of the way.

Ranma remained on his hands and knees, staring at the
dead bodies. The blood seeped into the small canals between
each carefully laid stone of the street. He slowly looked up to
see the attacker walking in his direction. Stumbling back,
Ranma attempted to crawl away backwards, away from the
figure.

His hand lost grip on the damp stone and slipped,
slowing him down enough for the attacker to get closer.
Preparing to jump to his feet and attack, Ranma train of
thought was lost the moment the assassins eyes settled on his.

He passed out to the sight of the yellow eyes looking
into his own, landing heavily on his own bed.

*********

Feet dragging along the ground, Ranma walked
dejectedly toward the front doors of Furinkan. Head bowed
down, he made no motions or movements to acknowledge the
existence of anyone else. Everything seemed wrong to him
and his heart felt as if it'd been tied with a chain and ball, also
dragging down his shoulders.

He continued walking, dragging his feet as he entered
his schoolyard. Over a small grassy knoll, he stepped onto the
stone pathway, his feet impacting heavily with the ground with
every step he took. Looking up behind the lines of lampposts,
Ranma stared blankly at the flagpole, now vacant of its earlier
inhabitants. He sighed, sounding regretful and slightly amused
before frowning and continuing his journey.

Lowering his head, Ranma watched the ground pass
under his feet, finding the sight somewhat soothing. Stepping
off the path, onto a small grass yard, he walked in-between a
pair of small trees, about 16 feet apart from each other. He
looked up, noticing his friend Umino waving to him, and
smiled only slightly.

Normally he'd be pleased to see his friend, but not
today. The katana had seen to that.

He his eyes slid to the side, stealing a glance at Ranko
and her friends. Laughing, smiling. They sure looked happy.
Seemed as if they hadn't a care in the world.

*Lucky bastards . . .* he thought, glaring at the group
slightly.

He was about to march up to them and give them a
piece of his mind when a swarm of cherry blossoms crashed
into his side, bowling him over.

A group of girls walked by giggling at the twitching
arm sticking out of the pile of cherry blossoms.

*********

His shadow painted itself across the wall surrounding
Furinkan High, keeping in stride with himself as he walked
along side it. He grinned, baring his canines. Today. Today
was the day he'd be free of Nabiki and the debts he owed her.
All he had to do was beat up some guy named Ranma. How
hard could that be?

Adjusting the black bandanna covering his head of hair
and sun glasses over his eyes, the fighter, otherwise known as
the Green Dragon, entered the Furinkan school grounds. He
was wearing loose fitting black jeans, a black sleeveless T-
shirt with a dark green dragon embroidered on the back and
green colored arm bracers to match. He kept his head lowered
to avoid eye contact with any of the numerous students.

Taking a quick glance around he noticed a lone boy
walking toward a lunch table nearly filled to its limit. Hopping
only twice he was in front of the boy grabbing him up by the
collar and easily lifting him least three feet off the ground.
Baring his teeth menacingly, the black clad boy growled,
"Where's Ranma Saotome?"

Daisuke gulped nervously as he looked at the sun-
glassed wearing face. He wasn't sure, but something about his
assailant seemed familiar. Had he met this guy before? With
the sunglasses on he couldn't quite tell. "Ah Are-ra-ran-ma
Sao-Saotome. He's ov-over there," Daisuke replied pointing a
shaking hand at the raven haired boy. "Tha-the one- with-with
the ra-red shirt," he finished, sweating horribly.

Glancing over at the pointed, the fanged fighter
assessed the black haired boy's form. *Slumped shoulders and
barely any muscle definition.* The boy snorted, incidently
right into Daisuke's face. "She called me to beat the crap outta
this guy?" He shook his head sadly and tossed Daisuke to the
ground, a few feet away. He started toward Ranma, strides
confident, a half grin plastered on his face.

Wiping his face with one hand and clutching his chest
with the other, Daisuke stared breathlessly at the gold dragon
on Ryouga back. He pointed a finger at the fighters back. "I
know who you are!" he shouted suddenly not afraid. "You're
Gre-" Daisuke started.

The boy spun around, raising a finger to his lips.
"Shhh! You don't wanna get on my bad side, do you?"
Daisuke got the point. Anyone who got Green Dragon mad
was in for a world of pain.

He hadn't really threatened the guy in that he wouldn't
have followed through with his threat. He wasn't the type to
pick on someone who wasn't a fighter. He just didn't want the
element of surprise to be taken away. That or all the annoying
fans crowding around him and wasting his time.

Turning back around, Ryouga headed straight for
Ranma, making sure his feet crushed the ground under his feet
and that his fangs were slightly bared. Stopping about twelve
feet from Ranma, Ryouga called out to the depressed one of
the two.

"Ranma Saotome!"

Said shouted glanced up at hearing his name, as well
as many others in the school yard. Soon enough, students were
forming a large circle around the two, whispering among
themselves.

"Isn't that..."

"I think it is..."

"Wow! I can't believe it's..."

"What's he doing here...?"

"This is so cool..."

Ranma scanned the crowd with narrowed eyes,
noticing everyone he knew and more were all staring at the
fighter clad in black. Who was this guy . . .? He looked
familiar, but something was different . . . wrong, in a sense.

Placing his hands on the ground next to him, Ranma
slowly lifted himself to his feet. Dusting his pants off, Ranma
took a better look at the fighter . . . and figured out who it was.
He really wasn't in the mood for any of this.

"What do you want?" he asked quietly, his voice
sounding utterly dead.

"You," Green Dragon replied simply, still grinning and
pointing a steady finger at Ranma.

Ranma sighed deeply before fixing Ryouga with a dark
glare. "Why?" he asked pointedly.

Ryouga shrugged. "I'd heard that you've become quite
the martial artist. Someone even said that you were better than
me," he replied, straight faced.

Ranma's eyes narrowed in thought. Who could he have
heard that from? Who could have told him something as
stupid as that? Unless . . . "So you're goin' fight me cause
someone said I was better than you?"

He'd been setup.

"That about sums it up. I gotta retain my title as Japans
best after all. So I challenge you, Ranma Saotome! To the
winner goes the spoils. Tomorrow, in the gym. Do you
accept?" Ryouga asked professionally, then added mockingly,
"Or are you chicken?"

Ranma crossed his arms over his chest and stared
coldly at Green Dragon. "Can I at least catch your name before
I agree to this bout?" he asked cooly.

"Name's Green Dragon," Ryouga replied, grinning
toothy.

*Ryouga!* Ranma thought as he realized who it was
standing across from him. *Hardly recognized him with that
weird getup he's wearing. He must keep his real name a
secret . . . I'll have to look into that later.*

Instead Ranma asked, his brow furrowing with a sense
of curiousity, "Green Dragon, eh? So named after the great
warrior Guan Yu's weapon(2)?"

"You know the history of the Three Kingdoms(3),
eh?" Ryouga replied smiling with admiration.

"Well I'm no idiot," Ranma replied with a casual
smile.

"Good to finally meet someone who knows their
history."

"I agree to your match. Give me two days to prepare
and I'll fight you here. In the gym," Ranma stated. He never
was one to turn down a challenge, even if he knew he
probably couldn't win it.

"I'll give you the rest of today, and tomorrow. Come
Sunday morning, you better show. Otherwise your rep as a
fighter will be ruined. Labeled a coward," Ryouga replied,
staring Ranma in the eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll show," Ranma returned.

And with that, the famous Green Dragon turned
around and strolled away from Furinkan High. He never once
looked back to acknowledge the numerous whispers being
spread throughout the crowd.

*********