I'm suddenly aware of my entire body. My hands resting on my comforter, somehow scratchy and soft at the same time. It makes sense, the way every cell in my body screams JACOB... they way I need him. I cannot seem to take my eyes off of Jake, the way he's pacing back and forth from one side of my room to the other... He's so big, it only takes one large stride to get from one wall to the other so it almost looks like he's dancing. All of the sudden I'm picturing myself in his arms, the two of us dancing together. My heart may beat out of my chest, my hands grow sticky with sweat, a feeling deep in my stomach grows... as I think about being in Jakes arms. Jake stops pacing, turns his head slightly in my direction, and raises one eyebrow in a knowing way. It's as if he knows that I'm thinking about his hands all over me. I shake my head side to side... "get with it Bella" I think to myself.
"Well, Jake," I say, "Of course you're my soulmate" and I manage a smile, although I am freaking out a little.
"Bells... honey, this isn't just soulmates. Your my imprint! You're pack now, if you want to be. It really complicates things because-"
"Edward" I cut him off.
A growl forms deep in his chest. I'm so tired of being growled at today. "Oh so you can say his name now! Without it tearing you apart!" Jake is almost screaming at me, throwing his arms around angrily. The way I can see his vertebrae vibrating creates an eerie feeling, making me acutely aware just how supernatural he truly is. I jump up, either unaware or just uncaring of the danger I would be in if he shifted in my little room. I place my hands on either side of his warm face. When his eyes finally connect with mine, I notice the tears coming from his eyes, and can't seem to stop the tears flowing from mine. We stand there, my hands on his face, his dangling at his sides, intensely aware of each others emotions.
"Jake," I whisper, "you are my sun. You are light. Warmth radiates from you and into me, not because you're a wolf or because I'm your imprint, but because you are my Jacob and I am your Bella," I manage to smile, "I love you."
For just a brief second I think he may kiss me, I want him to kiss me. There's nothing else in the world I want more. But he pulls away instead.
"But you're in love with... him" The way Jakes body shakes is far from normal. Still, all I want is his arms around me. He is a giant step away from me now, his face distorted in anger. I close the distance again. I know somewhere in the woods out my window, not far away, Edward is listening. I know Charlie is downstairs pretending to be sleeping in his armchair all the while eavesdropping. But all I want right now, all I care about is Jacob and how much I need his arms around me. I step close enough that my chest lightly brushes his. I look up into those beautiful eyes. I put my arms lightly around his neck. Every nerve in my body intently aware of his body against mine as I whisper to him, "Kiss me, please."
It starts slow, sweet, but the gentleness is quickly replaced with an urgency. I need him, and he needs me, and this is how we are telling each other. My hands in his hair, his under my shirt toting my bra line carefully, we cant seem to be close enough. In one swift movement I'm under him on my bed. Finally I pull away, gasping for breath. A smile, a real Jacob smile, spreads across his face. He sits up, not even trying to hide his... excitement. I blush, very embarrassed. I have never been kissed like that before. His fingertips trace my cheekbone, and he pulls me into his lap.
"Don't be embarrassed Bells. You're my imprint. I can feel what you feel... happy, scared, sleepy... excited" he smirks.
"Oh... OH" I stifle a gasp.
"You are beautiful, you know that?"
"When did you imprint on me, Jake?"
"Right before you left to save that filthy bloodsucker." He says it without emotion.
"Jake he has a name, please use it."
"Edward." He seethes.
"So... could you feel me... in Italy?"
"It was true torment Bella."
"Jake I really am so sorry I am always hurting you. And I really really enjoyed that kiss, which you know since you can... feel-"
"And smell," he interrupts with a grin.
"Oooooh kay," I blush, embarrassed again, "but.. "
He interrupts again, "I know you have to figure out what... who you want. You are my imprint Bells, so I just want you to be happy. But I love you, I love you so much. I loved you before I was a wolf, before you were my imprint. I will be here for you, always."
"Jake I know that I am pack, but you know the Cullens, they aren't my enemy. They're my family too."
"Bella, I ... I have to go." My bed vibrates from Jakes shakes. And before I can stop him, or say another word, he runs out my bedroom door and out the front door. A few seconds later I hear a howl. At that moment a flash of white catches my eye.
"Edward." I smile, in spite of myself.
"Bella," he says through gritted teeth, "do you realize how much danger you just put yourself in!? He almost phased right here!"
I really just need some time. I need a friend. I need... "Alice!" I squeal as she jumps through my window.
"I saw a girls night!" She smiled brightly.